[SJ] You Know an SJ Loves You When..

[Giggly]

As someone who has had his loyalty taken for granted or taken advantage of more than a few times, I hear ya brother.

Me too, bros.

 

[tinker683]

Me too, bros.

See, thats just really cute

 

[Winds of Thor]

Me too, bros.

Yea.

See, thats just really cute

Yea

 

[Trunks]

My dad gives me everything I ask for him, which he can afford and I always got whatever I need/want. My dad is an ISTJ btw..

 

[Ism]

She does everything for you to support your happiness.

I love you, mommy.

 

[Domino]

My mother is an ESTJ and very traditional, but she has defended me like a tiger against all comers who were trying to treat me like dirt. She's also hilarious and observant. To encourage her, we do little things, like get her favorite pie, leave notes telling her we love her and that she's doing a good job at work, etc.

 

[Winds of Thor]

My mother is an ESTJ and very traditional, but she has defended me like a tiger against all comers who were trying to treat me like dirt. She's also hilarious and observant. To encourage her, we do little things, like get her favorite pie, leave notes telling her we love her and that she's doing a good job at work, etc.

I'm sure mom's really need that .

 

[EJCC]

they never go away, unless you beat with them with a stick, and sometimes even then...

I dunno. In my case, that's usually infatuation. If I really love someone, I make myself give them space when they need it. I heavily accommodate in ways that would be too draining and uncomfortable for anyone except people I truly care about. I make many more personal sacrifices for them. (I start REALLY showing my 2 wing!)

To extend this - how do you best show an SJ that you love and care about them?

Put dishes in the dishwasher and take out the garbage. Apparently.

Yep!

Not sure if this is a love languages thing, but when my friends and family do nice things for me -- nice things that I know they put a lot of effort into, or analyzed a lot to make sure that it was something I really liked/needed -- it's wonderful, and I love it. The closest I came to crying from joy (because I never have), was after receiving a care package from my parents after I had a really terrible day and got a cold in the middle of it.

My mother is an ESTJ and very traditional, but she has defended me like a tiger against all comers who were trying to treat me like dirt. She's also hilarious and observant. To encourage her, we do little things, like get her favorite pie, leave notes telling her we love her and that she's doing a good job at work, etc.

Aww! When I'm an ESTJ mom, I'd LOVE to have nice NF daughters like you and Jaye

 

[Elfboy]

the real topic here should be "you know an STJ loves you when...". knowing an when SFJ (or FJ at all for that matter) loves you is obvious

 

[Amargith]

...she will, despite not fully understanding them, support the choices you are making, after verifying that this is what you truly want. And she will, after taking some time to digest the fact that you are moving abroad and away from the safety of her nest, come back to you and list all the things you ll need to do and think off when moving abroad. And you will love her for caring so much about your safety, yet respecting your need to be free, however hard this is for her. And after she is done listing, you will hear the emotion in her voice when she tells you to go and be happy, and stay in touch as much as possible. And to call, if you need *anything*, as she will be on the first plane out.


Isfjs

 

[Domino]

Aww! When I'm an ESTJ mom, I'd LOVE to have nice NF daughters like you and Jaye

I already feel jealous of your future babies! You'd be a kick-ass mom!

I would take down an entire army for my mother. I feel honored to know her and to love her, in spite of our early difficulties. She's super-smart, really witty, has a great sense of humor (sometimes I feel like I'm living with Jerry Stiller lol), and back in the day, she was a slamming dresser. Her sense of style definitely made an impression on us as kids. As we got older, we would wear some of her sweaters and vintage jewelry. I remember a pair of real alligator pumps she had - they were epic. She'd bought them in the 1960s. They were just THAT MUCH too small for me, and I coulda cried a river, they were so slick and sassy.

More importantly, MOST importantly, she also gave me permission, even as a truly traditional lady, to fight back, to stand up for myself, even if that meant taking down the entire establishment in the process. She believed - believes- in me that completely. She told me and sis that she loved and admired our sense of self, and to never let anyone step on us.

Sis and I would absolutely stop bullets in mid-air for her. Nobody messes with our mother.

I actually like ESTJs quite a lot. I find them funny and caring while being tough and take-charge. I admire their Te because I have NONE of it. I admire their ability to express themselves while being concise and interesting (like your travel blog! I really enjoyed that!).

I also think they're adorable when they're in love. lol It's like watching a great queen or king get a little goofy. I watched one ESTJ fall for an ISFP, and it just hit my heart like a train. It was beautiful to me.

 

[Giggly]

My mommy is an ESFJ and she always has my back.

 

[EJCC]

the real topic here should be "you know an STJ loves you when...". knowing an when SFJ (or FJ at all for that matter) loves you is obvious

Kinda... Except that Haven's quote is pretty true of ESFJs (and ENFJs too ime):

Dang, I'm not sure what I should write here.

I mean, I always do nice things for people and I always listen, I'm just not sure when I cross into "love" territory.

This actually reflects pretty well, why I tend to be confused by my ExFJ friends -- if they're so nice to everyone, how do you know that you're different? (It's easier to tell with IxFJ friends; they're significantly more selective about who they act motherly towards, than ENFJs are.)

 

[Mia.]

They return your library books.

They give you hand rubs.

They manage your Netflix queue so that you get the movies that you want when you want them and so you don't lose the little sleeve the movie comes in and so you don't scratch the DVD with your sensotardness.

 

[Glycerine]

they buy huge quantities of things they know you like (or at least the ESFJ dad).

 

[EJCC]

they buy huge quantities of things they know you like (or at least the ESFJ dad).

This is true.

(Although my INTP dad has been known to do similar things. I love him and his well-developed Fe My INFJ mom has been a great influence on him that way!)

 

[Giggly]

they buy huge quantities of things they know you like (or at least the ESFJ dad).

So true.

 

[Snow Turtle]

they become students of your personal history.

So true~

To extend this - how do you best show an SJ that you love and care about them?

"if you were cold and hungry I'd feed you and give you a place to sleep" or "you have a home at my home always" or "you are family to me/us."

They also may make self-sacrifices like they know you need this or that from them, and they will make it a point to take the time to do it, just for you.

I think 'knowing' that our partners would also be willing to make small sacrifices should it come down to things is definitely a big love statement.

 

[Betty Blue]

How about when they tell you or is that too easy?

Personally i think not.

The ex XSTJ was pretty damn, no nonsense, clear.
and i quote...

"I love you, i consider you my wife, we shall always be together"

He was wrong though.

 

[EJCC]

Personally i think not.

The ex XSTJ was pretty damn, no nonsense, clear.
and i quote...

"I love you, i consider you my wife, we shall always be together"

He was wrong though.

..."I consider you my wife"? Seriously?

If that was his reasoning behind saying that he loved you -- i.e. I love you because you're married to me -- then I guess he didn't know what love was.