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Worst Age To Have Been (For You)

What has been the worst age to be alive for you (so far)?


  • Total voters
    51

mippus

you are right
Joined
Jan 15, 2008
Messages
906
MBTI Type
Intp
Enneagram
5w6
I found it very hard to turn 30, and must say that I selected 31-40 because of the exhaustion (very) young children cause.
However, apart from this, I really enjoy being in my 30'ies. It seems I finally start to understand who I really am and have some peace with that.
 

kelric

Feline Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
2,169
MBTI Type
INtP
I answered 31-40 (I'm 36 now). Not because things are or have been awful (all things considered, I've had it pretty good), but since I turned 35 or so, I'm coming to realize that all of those things that I always assumed I'd have plenty of time for may never happen. It's pretty easy to say "I'm 23 and haven't met anyone to share my life with" - there's the expectation of many more opportunities. The same thing doesn't seem as true at 35 (or 36). Same thing applies to major success in a career - I pretty much have to suck it up and admit that I'm going to be sitting in a cube for the next 20 years to pay off my mortgage. It's the lack of reasonable exciting possibilities that bothers me more than anything else. It's not *bad*, just a little bit of a downer.

Having said that, had I been asked this question five years ago, I'm sure I'd have said 11-20, mostly because I simply despised high school and dealing with my parents' divorce wasn't always so fun. But looking back on it, the lack of responsibility had its good points :yes: . I think as we get older, different things bother us more, and the answer to this is likely to change (even for older-than-average-around-here folks like me).

Anyway, that's my answer.
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
2,106
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4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Life was really crappy for me from about 2 to 10 because my mom was extremely irresponsible. She was a big drug user and spent all her money on that instead of food, bills and clothes for her kids. then life was crappy from 11 to about 19. When i was about 14 my siblings and me were put in foster care. we were all separated though because one foster house wouldn't take all 6 of us. I ended up having to move to Texas with my dad. I thought things would get better but my step mom treated me like crap and always talked badly about my mother. She kicked me out when i was 17, because i forgot to do the dishes one night. Life got better when i was 19 and had a good job.

story of my life in a nutshell. lol

life is getting better year after year now.
 

Geoff

Lallygag Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
5,584
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INXP
17 for me. Meh! 16 was great, 18, 19 was OK. 17 sucked.

Just.. wrong crowd, wrong time.

-Geoff
 

mippus

you are right
Joined
Jan 15, 2008
Messages
906
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ah, teenage life: when everything was easy but seemed so difficult :p

(ah, it's been a long time since I've said something as annoying as this :D)
 

anii

homo-loving sonovagun
Joined
Jul 9, 2007
Messages
900
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9
The only two years that really sucked from age 11-20 were 12-13.

I had a run of bad experiences in my mid 20s and was depressed for about 3 years, from age 24-27. I literally had to leave the country I'd spent most of my life in to lift myself out of it.
 
R

RDF

Guest
My teens. I couldn't grow up fast enough and get out on my own. I've had some bad years since then, but overall things have been improving steadily since age 18. :party2:

I would say that around 100% of us are under 50

Not quite 100 percent. :D But my answer is "11-20," so it's a moot point for purposes of the poll.
 

INTJMom

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
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Specifically, 7th grade was the worst- ages 12-13 - not so much because of school, but because of home. As a matter of fact, when I was in my 30's and I dealt with some of the trauma, I began to regain happy memories from that time. Apparently, when you block out bad memories, the good ones get blocked, too. Or at least that's how it is for me.
 

sassafrassquatch

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2007
Messages
961
I picked 0-10. Being small, weak, ignorant and powerless is not my idea of fun. From 11 to the present each year has been better than the last.
 
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redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
age 18 was the worst by far. my first girlfriend died 2 months before i turned 18 (while we were together) and i was a complete wreck all year. my life before then wasn't too great either, but nowhere close to the same league of emptiness.

been getting consistently better since. (i just turned 22)
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
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INFJ
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4w5
So far, I would say that 15-17 were the worst because my father made me come to live with him during those years. I didn't relate to him or his family at all, and he finally let me come back home to my mother after three years of pleading with him about it and trying to meet his standards. He was nice to me and everything, but he expected me to develop social skills and complained about my being so introverted (He tested as an ESTP, but he was near 50% on every dichotomy except "E").
 

cascadeco

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Oct 7, 2007
Messages
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sp/sx
Dissonance - I'm sorry. :( Glad things are improving for you though.

My teens weren't fantastic by any stretch, but I wouldn't say I was unhappy. Everything outside of school was fine; I had some extracurricular activities that were really great. [of course this could be my looking at my past with rose-colored glasses on ;-)] Also, my consolation throughout my teen years was that eventually it would be over -- I had my eyes set on college and post-college, when life would miraculously be better. ;-) That's really what made the teen years not as bad as they could have been; my eyes were fixated on the future.

My worst years so far have been 24-27ish. They really sucked...at least as far as my overall emotional state went (not to say I didn't have some great moments dotted throughout those years!) I was very unhappy (probably borderline depressed) and disillusioned. I had really thought I'd be romantically involved with someone by that point, or even married, and failures in those types of relationships were beginning to eat away at me. I also couldn't stomach the thought of having such a bland existance where all I was doing was working day in and day out for the next 50 years. So I kinda had to throw away some earlier assumptions I'd made about what my life would be like. Basically it was a quarter life crisis. ;) And unlike my teen years, I didn't have any 'magic' future time where everything would be great that I could set my sights on. I instead had to figure out how to be happy in the present, and in the 'real world'. Kinda rebuilding my foundation, and learning to rely a bit more on myself to make things happen in my life. A lot of self reflection.

28 was a really good yr for me, and 29 hasn't been so bad either...aside from the 'almost 30' mantra that I keep saying in the back of my head.....:D

Edit: Oh, and as for best years!!! College was wonderful. What a neat experience and snapshot in life..being with thousands of other people who are at the exact same stage in life. Otherwise, there haven't been 'best years' -- just lots of memorable experiences peppered throughout my life! More 'best months' or 'best weeks', rather than 'best years!' :)
 
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redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
Do you think you can tell that story?

sure.

this girl (ENFJ) was a year older than i. she sought me out, since we were in a PE class together, and essentially made the whole relationship happen. at that point in my life, i basically had no idea how to be assertive, and she taught me. she was like 5 years more mature than anyone else i'd met at that point in my life. so our relationship was completely life changing for me.

eventually, she went off to Columbia and i was still a senior, but we stayed together (i live in the bay area, california, and she was in new york). she visited me for a weekend and it was our best two days ever. then she went back to school. about a week later, we had a normal convo on the phone, she said she'd call me the next day, we said "i love you", and the next day she never called. she literally flaked ZERO times in our whole year and a half relationship, so i got worried. i was calling her dorm room and cell phone for the whole day, then i went to sleep. i kept calling her the next day, but couldn't get a hold of her. i eventually called her parents, and they had found out she died about an hour prior. what a terrible conversation for them to have to have with me :(

so basically she had a single room, and had an allergic reaction. her floormates began to worry when she wasn't around for a day (she was like the floor leader), so they asked the R.A. to open the room. she was found dead with an epi-pen (allergy emergency medicine) and benadryl in front of her. autopsy results were inconclusive (no drugs or anything were found).

i stayed home from school for a few days, then went back. everyone knew (small-ish school) but no one had any idea what to say to me, so no one said anything. i didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, so i just kept quiet about it for the rest of the school year. my friends really had no idea what to do, so they did nothing. only ONE friend understood what i was really going through, and she helped me tons. but basically i became a huge stoner, smoking 3-5 times a day -- it allowed me to hold everything inside (which was obviously bad in the long term).

i went to therapy, blah blah, but i intellectualized everything instead of really facing my emotions and dealing with them (party because i was always stoned). then i went to cal, had a ton of freedom, and ended up blowing off all my classes and smoking all day instead. i had to bring my grades up the next semester, since i put myself on academic probation, but i didn't. so i got kicked out. i guess i was 19 at that point.

but yeah, i spent a year out of cal, got back in, was gonna fail again, had to withdraw, then got sober for 7 months. that sober time was really what's allowed me to enter the next phase of my life. i had a little stoner phase for the last few months, but i'm done with that now.

interestingly enough, i think i changed from enneagram 1w9 to 1w2 somewhere in there. it's because she was always helping/saving people, and once she died, i unconsciously took on that characteristic.

phew. that was long.
 

INTJMom

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Wow. That's awful. I'm sorry for your loss.
At least you got to say "I love you".
I know a lot of people regret not having that chance.
How horrible for her parents - to lose their daughter in such a way that seems so preventable.
 

Sandy

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Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
552
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INFP
My Dad left us when I was 10, and from that time on, my life was hell. :cry: I battled low-self esteem for years. :sad: The only bright spot was when I fell in love, got married, and had two beautiful children. That was short lived when I couldn't take marriage anymore, and I walked away from an addict and chose to be a single-parent. That was, by far, the hardest years I faced (doing it alone).

My 30s were tough, too. Finally, the 2nd half of my 30s were decent!

I can report that, thankfully, my 40s have been nothing short of amazing! :smile:
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
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Jan 14, 2008
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9,801
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From 12 to 21, incredibly painful years for me. Glad to put them to rest.
 

cafe

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Apr 19, 2007
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0-10 wasn't too bad most of the time. I was in my own little dream world and wasn't very aware of conflicts in the adult world around me.

My mom and first step-dad divorced when I was ten and mom went through a party phase for a couple of years.

She became reacquainted with a former boyfriend and married him when I was twelve. I liked him. We moved out of town. Later that year, my dog got run over, I got hit by a car, and my step-dad was killed by a drunk driver all on the same road, but not at the same time. It was hard.

8-12th grades were pretty good.

After graduation I was at loose ends. I got a job, dated a guy who wasn't that great to me and eventually dumped me. Mom got remarried and I felt it was time for me to leave home, but had no idea what I wanted to do. I left for college shortly after I turned 21 and though I was homesick a lot, I liked school and met the best guy ever.

My twenties were not easy. We were poor and I had four kids in five and a half years, but there was a lot of love and we made some great memories.

My thirties are the best so far. The kids are bigger and not so labor intensive and we have started getting on our feet, which is really nice. The hubby and I have most of our communication/power issues ironed out by now, so it's pretty smooth sailing there.

I have high hopes for our forties and fifties.
 

Turbinado

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2008
Messages
25
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INTP
6th grade--being called fat and ugly to my face over and over, and having a girl pull a handful of my hair out. And my only two friends were always fighting with each other of ditching me.
 
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