Why do others hate INFJs?

[PeaceBaby]

I think that if most of the INFJs I've known could have owned their shit a bit better, then they would have had a better chance at actualizing a real potential for greatness that some of them possess. I've always admired ... blah blah blah shaming stuff.

I'm not cool with the fact that you've named names in here. Not sure of your purpose in doing so, but I can't see anything good coming out of that. Probably better to stick with general comments.

"Your Ni in aux makes you so not twisted as me."

Well, it does change the focal length of the lens.

 

[violet_crown]

I think you don't understand, saying one type is worse than everybody else is entirely bogus. It's like an -ism is what you pointed out that made me lose my shit. Yeah I know I have mistakes and problems of my own I need to work out and hell, I believe I adapted to other types A LOT more because I understand we as a minority need to work with the majority to get to places. Stop trying to attack me like you know what I meant. Blaming others so I can get away from my own was not what I meant. So please. Continue to tell how fucked up we are, but don't let it get personal.

Don't you have Ni in YOUR stack too? It seems like you're only hurting yourself. You make no mention of your type as an ENTJ? Stop acting like you know better and transcended of your mistakes either. Te can be a big fucker as well. Inferior Te can shove shit down your throat. Too much extraversion without your "crazy" Ni to balance it is just as diseased, friend.

LAST THING: what would be my "appropriate" response to your attack or -isms?

"Oh yeah of course wind up Rex, I know I am so messed up in the head by birth and only you can correct it for me by your ever so wise guidance. I will continue to be inferior until I die or have been approved by your opinion because you obviously know what's true. Your Ni in aux makes you so not twisted as me."

You do see the irony in this post, right? Like, you're literally doing everything I just talked about.

I don't dislike you, fwiw. I've just seen a lot of the worst of INFJs and am being honest about what I've seen. That's the subject of the thread. If you wanna start a thread about how everyone is actually terrible so INFJs shouldnt be accountable for their own behavior, then you're welcome to do so.

I'd also like to point out that for all that [MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION] is liking everything you're saying, I managed to stay on reasonably good terms with him despite how openly he loathes Te. It sort of is what it is, and Ive never taken it personally as our interactions have been mostly positive.

 

[violet_crown]

I'm one of those "INFJ fuck-ups" as you seem to see it, that you are talking about in your post. But make no mistake, whoever you are, I am not blind to my darkness. I know very well about all that I hold inside me. So, yeah, I think in terms of light, but respond with a lot of dark.

Then you and I would likely have no problems.

I'm not cool with the fact that you've named names in here. Not sure of your purpose in doing so, but I can't see anything good coming out of that. Probably better to stick with general comments.

I was responding to a post that he had made and felt it illustrated my point. It wasn't a random comment. It seems to piss them off more when I make comments about unhealthy INFJs in general as they all immediately assume I'm talking about them anyways. Nonetheless, point taken.

 

[Forever]

You do see the irony in this post, right? Like, you're literally doing everything I just talked about.

I don't dislike you, fwiw. I've just seen a lot of the worst of INFJs and am being honest about what I've seen. That's the subject of the thread. If you wanna start a thread about how everyone is actually terrible so INFJs shouldnt be accountable for their own behavior, then you're welcome to do so.

I'd also like to point out that for all that @SearchingforPeace is liking everything you're saying, I managed to stay on reasonably good terms with him despite how openly he loathes Te. It sort of is what it is, and Ive never taken it personally as our interactions have been mostly positive.

If you're going to ignore and filter what I'm saying, I'm no longer going to argue with you.

Do you think I haven't noticed that [MENTION=26046]Dyslexxie[/MENTION] liked your post too (who I'm not sure if she just dropped, I swear I was VERY explicit with her when I said that if there's anything wrong, let me know, and yet she keeps saying that it's pretty positive that I'm too nice to hurt her? Not that I excuse myself to, but I think people are just going to expect you're going to know everything wrong you're (as in general, not specifically YOU) doing. I see myself as really self-aware but not perfect.

Literally everything? You're doing the same too, hon. We're both messed in the heads.

 

[cascadeco]

Well, there are NFJ's I really really like, and I am very good friends with (and have been for 10+ years), and there are NFJ's I really really dislike. With the ones I dislike, it's if they have any element of know-it-all'ism, forcing worldview, 'I know exactly what you're thinking and am going to assert my superiority and people skills that far surpass yours and I know you far better than you know yourself', or just plain are so stuck in their heads that they lose any semblance of reality and logic. There seem to be some extremes.

That said, we could of course start 15 more threads for each other type -- 'Why INTP's suck and I hate them', 'Why ISFP's are annoying and crazy', and so on.

Every type will of course have their own version of unbalanced and crazy. But there are specific reasons for why INFJ's are disliked. (Just like there will probably be specific reasons for all other 15 types)

 

[violet_crown]

If you're going to ignore and filter what I'm saying, I'm no longer going to argue with you.

Do you think I haven't noticed that [MENTION=26046]Dyslexxie[/MENTION] liked your post too (who I'm not sure if she just dropped, I swear I was VERY explicit with her when I said that if there's anything wrong, let me know, and yet she keeps saying that it's pretty positive that I'm too nice to hurt her? Not that I excuse myself to, but I think people are just going to expect you're going to know everything wrong you're (as in general, not specifically YOU) doing. I see myself as really self-aware but not perfect.

Literally everything? You're doing the same too, hon. We're both messed in the heads.

Again, that's not the point.

If someone said in a thread that was about why people disliked ENTJs "ENTJs can be massive dicks when they're unbalanced." I wouldn't immediately assume that a) that I was the ENTJ that was being discussed, b) that the other person was out of line for saying what they said, or c) I'd need the other person to admit their own flaws to acknowledge the validity of their viewpoint.

All that c) accomplishes is to shift the focus of the conversation in such a way to make it appear that the other party lacks the "credibility" to make any sort of claim to begin with. It's controlling the conversation and it's utterly irrelevant to the point that's being discussed.

That said, like I mentioned in the PM I sent you, I can see why your identification with your type could make this feel like such a personal attack, and I did apologize for that. It nonetheless doesn't change the experiences that I've had with INFJs, nor what I believe about unhealthy people of that type as a result of it.

 

[Dyslexxie]

If you're going to ignore and filter what I'm saying, I'm no longer going to argue with you.

Do you think I haven't noticed that [MENTION=26046]Dyslexxie[/MENTION] liked your post too (who I'm not sure if she just dropped, I swear I was VERY explicit with her when I said that if there's anything wrong, let me know, and yet she keeps saying that it's pretty positive that I'm too nice to hurt her? Not that I excuse myself to, but I think people are just going to expect you're going to know everything wrong you're (as in general, not specifically YOU) doing. I see myself as really self-aware but not perfect.

Literally everything? You're doing the same too, hon. We're both messed in the heads.

I don't think most of us were airing grievances about anyone in particular - I for one wasn't referring to a person in particular so I don't know why you took it that way. The original comment I liked also was a generalization which wasn't addressed to you or anyone else as far as I know, so I don't know why you're causing unnecessary drama with me out of nothing. Chill out with the passive aggressive shit and deleted comments.

 

[Forever]

INFJs have a particular set of skills that make them especially noxious when they're broken and simultaneously inured to any sort of moderating outside influences.

People like them are the reason mental institutions were invented in the first place.

I would ask that you carefully analyze your first response before my rage and step outside of yourself or even in an INFJ's shoes. There were no "some" or "those that I have encountered" or any of the like. That was like well hmm I am an INFJ, I must clearly be institutionalized should I make a mistake.

I could reinterpret your quote should I be really forgiving of it, of seeing "well I could use those 'skills' but I'll chose not to."

Again, that's not the point.

If someone said in a thread that was about why people disliked ENTJs "ENTJs can be massive dicks when they're unbalanced." I wouldn't immediately assume that a) that I was the ENTJ that was being discussed, b) that the other person was out of line for saying what they said, or c) I'd need the other person to admit their own flaws to acknowledge the validity of their viewpoint.

All that c) accomplishes is to shift the focus of the conversation in such a way to make it appear that the other party lacks the "credibility" to make any sort of claim to begin with. It's controlling the conversation and it's utterly irrelevant to the point that's being discussed.

That said, like I mentioned in the PM I sent you, I can see why your identification with your type could make this feel like such a personal attack, and I did apologize for that. It nonetheless doesn't change the experiences that I've had with INFJs, nor what I believe about unhealthy people of that type as a result of it.

That knocks off: a) with your first quote.

But thank you for the apology. And I cannot deny your experiences with others.

 

[Forever]

I don't think most of us were airing grievances about anyone in particular - I for one wasn't referring to a person in particular so I don't know why you took it that way. The original comment I liked also was a generalization which wasn't addressed to you or anyone else as far as I know, so I don't know why you're causing unnecessary drama with me out of nothing. Chill out with the passive aggressive shit and deleted comments.

I only deleted my response to you because it could've offended you (I care about your feelings, but I also want to get to the bottom of how people really feel about me). Are you saying I'm the passive aggressive one or am I overanalyzing that you're being passive aggressive?

 

[violet_crown]

INFJs have a particular set of skills that make them especially noxious when they're broken and simultaneously inured to any sort of moderating outside influences.

People like them are the reason mental institutions were invented in the first place.

I would ask that you carefully analyze your first response before my rage and step outside of yourself or even in an INFJ's shoes. There were no "some" or "those that I have encountered" or any of the like. That was like well hmm I am an INFJ, I must clearly be institutionalized should I make a mistake.

If we're doing this, I'd like to call attention to the use of the word "when" in this sentence. It is a conjunction that indicates that the rest of the statement will be valid if some condition is met.

Another way to state that post would be that, "If an INFJ is unhealthy, then they'll display xyz such a behavior." The statement, therefore, doesn't apply to you unless you're unhealthy, and I didn't assume all INFJs were unhealthy when I made that comment.

 

[Duffy]

[MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION]

You have a lot of patience. I don't think what you're saying is all that personal or controversial. Some of ya'll getting offended are 2-fixers.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I am not a INFJ. I have never had problems with any of them. The opposite, really.

From study, unhealthy INFJs would appear to act like ESTPs, but a bad caricature of one. Sort of how ISFPs when very unhealthy act like bad caricatures of ESTJ. At least according to Naomi Quenk.

So, what type when unhealthy looks like a bad caricature of a INFJ? ESTP.

I do wonder how mistyped some of the INFJs others complain about really are.

By definition, any unhealthy person isn't going to act their type.

I do find anger and hostility to Ni Fe common in general, though.

 

[Dyslexxie]

I only deleted my response to you because it could've offended you (I care about your feelings, but I also want to get to the bottom of how people really feel about me). Are you saying I'm the passive aggressive one or am I overanalyzing that you're being passive aggressive?

So why would you offend me? Am I not allowed to express an opinion on a very general topic because YOU chose to get offended over it (even though no one was trying to offend you or even addressed any of the points at you) and then you decided the right thing to do was attack me because...why? What kind of high school bullshit is this?

By this logic fuck all y'all who don't like ENTPs, or women, or blondes, or Canadians, or whatever other generalization I can identify with; I'll take every comment anyone makes about this type as personally as I can AND respond to each individually, only to delete it so as to not be offensive. But that'd be a little dramatic, right?

 

[Forever]

So why would you offend me? Am I not allowed to express an opinion on a very general topic because YOU chose to get offended over it (even though no one was trying to offend you or even addressed any of the points at you) and then you decided the right thing to do was attack me because...why? What kind of high school bullshit is this?

By this logic fuck all y'all who don't like ENTPs, or women, or blondes, or Canadians, or whatever other generalization I can identify with; I'll take every comment anyone makes about this type as personally as I can AND respond to each individually, only to delete it so as to not be offensive. But that'd be a little dramatic, right?

Thanks for avoiding the question. I wasnt intending to offend you. I wasn't offended by yours. I was offended by Rex's but yeah she still had the right to post. I didn't attack you though. Where did I say do or do that?

Now you're going to degrade me? I'm getting super confused bae.

 

[Dyslexxie]

Thanks for avoiding the question. I wasnt intending to offend you. I wasn't offended by yours. I was offended by Rex's but yeah she still had the right to post. I didn't attack you though. Where did I say do or do that?

Now you're going to degrade me? I'm getting super confused bae.

What question am I avoiding? Nothing screams passive aggressive like deleting comments so I thought that was pretty clear.

Of course she did and so did I. I don't think she attacked you and I haven't either (or anyone else in here for that matter? I thought this wasn't supposed to be personal attacks). I was making very general statements about MY experience with INFJs in MY life (not you because I haven't met you and couldn't possibly comment).
(TBH I didn't even remember your type until I saw your posts in this afterwards and that you took offense to this thread. I don't really remember people by their type usually so if I'm making a comment about a type, it literally means I'm generalizing and has nothing to do with any one person.)

Where am I degrading you? I'm telling you to stop being dramatic because you dragged me into an argument for what...liking a post that someone else didn't even direct at you and had nothing to do with you? Seems a little...out of hand?

Anyway I'm not trying to argue with you cause I like you and have no issues with you at all. Just freaking relax...

 

[Forever]

What question am I avoiding? Nothing screams passive aggressive like deleting comments so I thought that was pretty clear.

Of course she did and so did I. I don't think she attacked you and I haven't either (or anyone else in here for that matter? I thought this wasn't supposed to be personal attacks). I was making very general statements about MY experience with INFJs in MY life (not you because I haven't met you and couldn't possibly comment).

Where am I degrading you? I'm telling you to stop being dramatic because you dragged me into an argument for what...liking a post that someone else didn't even direct at you and had nothing to do with you? Seems a little...out of hand?

Oh so now you can tell me how I feel about something? That's a little uncalled for.
You're putting too much thought that me mentioning you was me trying to get at you? All I mentioned you for was to see if you decided to not like me anymore ok?

Where you're degrading me? The very last paragraph "the logic" I have and you're make base assumptions of that's how I reason. I mean really? Nothing to do with me? Her post was in response to my post, go check it out.

If you want to unfriend me and forget me, go ahead. Be proud of it.

But I'm still friends with Rex and understood her point, I and another user may have not liked her tactic but we resolved it nonetheless.

 

[Dyslexxie]

Oh so now you can tell me how I feel about something? That's a little uncalled for.
You're putting too much thought that me mentioning you was me trying to get at you? All I mentioned you for was to see if you decided to not like me anymore ok?

Where you're degrading me? The very last paragraph "the logic" I have and you're make base assumptions of that's how I reason. I mean really? Nothing to do with me? Her post was in response to my post, go check it out.

If you want to unfriend me and forget me, go ahead. Be proud of it.

Alright. This is clearly getting a little out of hand.

 

[Ene]

I just want to say that I have never felt hated or disliked in real life simply because of my type. In fact, I rarely feel disliked period. If anything, the opposite is true. I tend to inadvertently gather a "flock" wherever I go. I am an unassuming person but I have this tendency to notice everybody and for some people, noticing them and just listening to them is enough to make them want to be around me. I have to "hide away" and recenter myself often. I don't mean that in an arrogant way. Its just true. I get overwhelmed with people just seeking me out, telling me that they feel "connected" to me. Ironically, I dont always feel so feel so connected them. In fact, I only really feel connected to a very few people.

 

[Forever]

I just want to say that I have never felt hated or disliked in real life simply because of my type. In fact, I rarely feel disliked period. If anything, the opposite is true. I tend to inadvertently gather a "flock" wherever I go. I am an unassuming person but I have this tendency to notice everybody and for some people, noticing them and just listening to them is enough to make them want to be around me. I have to "hide away" and recenter myself often. I don't mean that in an arrogant way. Its just true. I get overwhelmed with people just seeking me out, telling me that they feel "connected" to me. Ironically, I dont always feel so feel so connected them. In fact, I only really feel connected to a very few people.

May I ask how many people did know what your type was? I mean relative to the people whom you pass by everyday or even aware of MBTI, JCF, Enneagram, is probably slim to nil. Why is that? Are you optimistic, pessimistic (doesn't seem like it lol), or neutral about the world?

I relate to you on that people will tend to just look at me like I'm some exhibit. It's weird because they all look at me like I'm not the ordinary guy. Body language of both random men and women will focus towards me, even very obvious. But I gotten used to it.

Although unlike you, I can feel discomfort, or those who are afraid of me like a mile away, people are just telling me "oh you're just wanting to see that" LOL what? I understand what you mean but if anything if I wanted to look for, I'd always put it more towards a 6 enneatype way. Oh see, SHE TOTALLY DIGS ME lol. No, I tried to imagine random girls liking me and they didn't, so I don't have mind powers to influence people like that.

I feel connected to others often, but I don't feel like they are connected to me.

 

[Ene]

May I ask how many people did know what your type was? I mean relative to the people whom you pass by everyday or even aware of MBTI, JCF, Enneagram, is probably slim to nil. Why is that? Are you optimistic, pessimistic (doesn't seem like it lol), or neutral about the world?

I relate to you on that people will tend to just look at me like I'm some exhibit. It's weird because they all look at me like I'm not the ordinary guy. Body language of both random men and women will focus towards me, even very obvious. But I gotten used to it.

Although unlike you, I can feel discomfort, or those who are afraid of me like a mile away, people are just telling me "oh you're just wanting to see that" LOL what? I understand what you mean but if anything if I wanted to look for, I'd always put it more towards a 6 enneatype way. Oh see, SHE TOTALLY DIGS ME lol. No, I tried to imagine random girls liking me and they didn't, so I don't have mind powers to influence people like that.

I feel connected to others often, but I don't feel like they are connected to me.

I'd say that only a small percentage of people I know are acquainted with MBTI. I tend to be more relaxed and open than pessimistic. I am "earthy," and natural, or so people tell me, and apparently, that has a disarming, peaceful effect on a lot of people. I'm not honey sweet or anything, just easy and comfortable to be around.