Why do INTJ/ENTJ's get such a bad rap?

[Salt n' pepper]

My father is a ENTJ, but he can be friendly from time to time. You should see him with my cat!

Haha! I can relate to that.

 

[Amargith]

I love NTJs..they have such a mushy warm soft side to them. At the same time they get things done (which I can very much appreciate) and if they seem cold and uncaring sometimes, it's coz they're focussed on getting things done. It's never personal. The healthy ones will also adjust if you tell them that they're being cold. Sometimes they just don't realize they're in fix-it mode

 

[Saslou]

I've noticed how people always seem to assume that INTJ/ENTJ's are heartless cold bastards and I'm here to say that's just not true! Now mind you I am talking about well adjusted NTJ's not mentally unstable ones.

My husband is an INTJ and he's the nicest most decent, caring person I know. For example, when I used to smoke he would say within earshot of our children that if I didn't stop, I would die. Well each time I went outside to smoke I had to endure this speech of his. And when he wasn't home the kids were sure to tell me that they didn't want me to die as well. Well I'm not going to lie and say it didn't break my heart each time I heard this, so I quit and I am so thankful to my family for caring and loving me enough to nag me into quitting. An SFJ acquaintance of mine at the time was mortified when I told her this and didn't see the logic in what my Husband was doing. She and I no longer speak and the ironic thing was that her husband was dying of lung cancer from smoking and she and I quit at the same time. His unfortunate situation mixed with my husband and children is why I no longer smoke.

Fictionally Dr. Cox on Scrubs isn't really a bad guy at all. He just has a different approach compared to an NF as in he doesn't beat around the bush. If I were ill I would want him as my Dr. hands down. Gordon Ramsey I believe is an ENTJ who I also don't think is as "mean" as some would say he is. If I were in jeopardy of losing my shirt I would totally want him to help save my restaurant. I think he really wants to help and if he makes money doing it, then so what? House has his issues, but I don't think he's all that bad either.

If I were stranded on a deserted island or if our city were swarming with flesh eating zombies, I would so want an NTJ around otherwise that would be the end of me.

I don't know many NTJ women and wonder if they are less emotional than their male counterparts? Who would be most likely to greet you with a hug and/or kiss?

Any thoughts on the subject?

I think it depends on what type is with the NTJ .. Me and INTJ do not go .. He was a cold hearted bastard (he was emotionally withdrawn) who only lavished me with affection when he was showing me off to someone new or my family came round. I was always told by him that i should be grateful that he came off the computer every hour or so and came and sat with me for a while and that he came and kissed me goodnight every night. He was a loner and a depressive and i was the opposite but looking back i can see i changed into a passive depressive myself. Not good. He was very good with words (he was never wrong) and could rip me to pieces. I remember one time i was sobbing at his cruel words and he just came up to me and said 'crocodile tears' and walked off. I am glad to be away from that now.

The flesh eating zombies - I am surprised you said that. We had spoken what we would do but i know him. He doesn't get anything done without someone kicking him up the backside. Motivation wasn't one of his strong points.

Just my opinion anyway.

 

[matmos]

Why do INTJ/ENTJ's get such a bad rap?

Maybe they deserve it.

 

[BlackCat]

If the INTJ or ENTJ actually acts nice and considers others... they are awesome. They seem to figure out that this is the best way to associate with people sometime in their life. At that point that are proclaimed awesome.

 

[lastrailway]

It depends on the person and not the type, I'm sure. However the type descriptions tend to picture xNTJs, ENTJs in particular, as bossy, authoritarian and arrogant, which probably doesn't tick too well with some more independent types/persons.

 

[Edgar]

I think it depends on what type is with the NTJ .. Me and INTJ do not go ..

[terrible stories told with a touch of bitterness...]

Yeah, NTJs and SFJs have trouble getting along sometimes*.




*most of the time.

 

[Vanitas]

Because we seem to intimidate people (when they realize our 'capacity')? I'm pretty harmless most of the time*, but some tend to be quick in believing that the 'worse' side is the 'real person'. And apparently we faked everything else.

Oh. We can lie, pet and use. Doesn't mean we do that all the time/ to everyone. : |

*) Simple good manners, mostly. As long they don't stand in my way by default I'll play nice. Because of upbringing I don't express my MBTI too much.

 

[Saslou]

Yeah, NTJs and SFJs have trouble getting along sometimes*.




*most of the time.

Really. If you lot were more like me then you would all be perfect :hi:.. But we cant have everything we want in life .. lmao.

Bitter, yes a bit. He had potential but screwed it up. At least i don't hate him or hold a grudge that he screwed me over. I am laughing out loud here by the way.
In fact i spoke to him today and told him to leave THE woman and hook up with the nice lady from the restaurant. (why would i do that, i should be angry afterall) .. Never mind.

 

[Roheline]

After reading this, I have a friend in mind who could easily be this type, except she dislikes any kind of "personality test" and so probably wouldn't take it. Anyone want to confirm my hunch or else prove me wrong?

I know for sure that she's got the introverted and judging functions (always shows up 15 minutes early for everything...dead give away for J. She's also very well put together...I can't think of a single time I've seen her without makeup). She's a very sharp thinker, prefers to cut through the small talk and always drive for intense intellectual debates (that tells me "N"), not at all religious but has a very strict code of what she believes is right or wrong, which I can't get her to explain logically...it just IS THAT WAY.

I know several of our mutual friends are intimidated or offended by her bluntness in expressing her opinions on just about everything, but I actually find it refreshing and find that she can be very compassionate and will take an avid interest in what you have to say if you prove first that you're not a push-over and that you're reasonably intelligent.

Does this sound like an INTJ to you?

 

[Costrin]

Does this sound like an INTJ to you?

Yes.

 

[ajblaise]

It's because Te is obnoxious. I don't mind it though.

 

[TaylorS]

Immature NTJs have issues with running roughshod over other people's feelings and using amoral "ends justify the means" thinking. There also seems to be a stereotype of INTJs as tending to be heartless Ayn Rand fanatic Libertarians that think poor people are all lazy and make fun of us "Bleeding Heart" NF Liberals (with much abuse being tossed at the Archetypal "Bleeding Heart" INFJ Jimmy Carter)

 

[Galusha]

ENTJ's have this way of not even acknowledging your existence until you show interest in their plan or goals or are seen as a useful pawn to get to their goal. it feels like you are nothing unless you can help them achieve their goals.

I am close to slapping one ENTJ girl I know 6 ways to Sunday as she is so freaking smug and disrepectful and oh my gosh- are all ENTJ's full of themselves to no end?

"disrespectful" isn't a word that most ENTJs would use to describe their own contradictory behavior, because arguments and bluntness are the ways we get to know people. it's more respectful to take the time to have a discussion with someone than it is to be politely silent-- it means she's taking you more seriously.

in addition, ENTJs reserve their affection for a group of close friends and relatives, who they are extremely loyal to. with what they believe is assured mutual support, there is no need to waste time building more. we use aquaintances as a change of pace, who may then develop into true friends if they prove themselves worthy and patient.

 

[Shaula]

Why do INTJ/ENTJ's get such a bad rap?

Because they are clearly evil and you have all fallen for their plan to seduce you into thinking they are actually decent people.

 

[Saslou]

Because they are clearly evil and you have all fallen for their plan to seduce you into thinking they are actually decent people.

I think you are speaking the truth there. Thank you for that.

 

[mortabunt]

I know a guy who is either INTJ or ISTJ. Biggest prick I know. That god (if he exists) that he is graduating this year.

 

[Saslou]

I know a guy who is either INTJ or ISTJ. Biggest prick I know. That god (if he exists) that he is graduating this year.

That gun may just come in handy then

 

[maliafee]

Gordon Ramsey is SUPER ENTJ. I love it! My little brother is ENTJ so I have a major soft spot for them.

I also have an INTJ brother -- again, I concur with you: they are terribly caring.

I didn't know they were getting a bad rap, but by golly if they are, who can I punch?! ;-) hehe...

I've noticed how people always seem to assume that INTJ/ENTJ's are heartless cold bastards and I'm here to say that's just not true! Now mind you I am talking about well adjusted NTJ's not mentally unstable ones.

My husband is an INTJ and he's the nicest most decent, caring person I know. For example, when I used to smoke he would say within earshot of our children that if I didn't stop, I would die. Well each time I went outside to smoke I had to endure this speech of his. And when he wasn't home the kids were sure to tell me that they didn't want me to die as well. Well I'm not going to lie and say it didn't break my heart each time I heard this, so I quit and I am so thankful to my family for caring and loving me enough to nag me into quitting. An SFJ acquaintance of mine at the time was mortified when I told her this and didn't see the logic in what my Husband was doing. She and I no longer speak and the ironic thing was that her husband was dying of lung cancer from smoking and she and I quit at the same time. His unfortunate situation mixed with my husband and children is why I no longer smoke.

Fictionally Dr. Cox on Scrubs isn't really a bad guy at all. He just has a different approach compared to an NF as in he doesn't beat around the bush. If I were ill I would want him as my Dr. hands down. Gordon Ramsey I believe is an ENTJ who I also don't think is as "mean" as some would say he is. If I were in jeopardy of losing my shirt I would totally want him to help save my restaurant. I think he really wants to help and if he makes money doing it, then so what? House has his issues, but I don't think he's all that bad either.

If I were stranded on a deserted island or if our city were swarming with flesh eating zombies, I would so want an NTJ around otherwise that would be the end of me.

I don't know many NTJ women and wonder if they are less emotional than their male counterparts? Who would be most likely to greet you with a hug and/or kiss?

Any thoughts on the subject?

 

[Saslou]

Gordon Ramsey is SUPER ENTJ. I love it! My little brother is ENTJ so I have a major soft spot for them.

I also have an INTJ brother -- again, I concur with you: they are terribly caring.

I didn't know they were getting a bad rap, but by golly if they are, who can I punch?! ;-) hehe...

Maybe they are just healthy then .. Its nice that you are able to see that side of them.