[MBTI General] What types are attracted to the INTJ? Romantically speaking.

[chubber]

I honestly think that ESFp is meant for INTp (socionics) which is probably closer to INTP in description of MBTI.

 

[Daenera]

INTJs as a type tend to be quite resistant to social pressures.


This is partly simple statistics: there are more male than female INTJs, and more female than male ENFPs.

Still, being even more rare than male intjs and usually surrounded with F females they might be a little more adjustable/accommodating to their environment perhaps more than anything for pragmatic reasons.

enfps need to step away from the intjs!

 

[Pionart]

You haven't found an attraction between yourself and ESFPs in the past? What do you think of ESFPs then?

All I know is that ENFPs seem drawn to me (and I to them), and I've seen a similar pattern with other people I know, though not widespread enough to form a conclusion on in itself.

I honestly think that ESFp is meant for INTp (socionics) which is probably closer to INTP in description of MBTI.

Compatibility is based on having opposite functions, like Se and Ni. So if we take functions to be the basis, it would have to be ESFP with INTJ.

 

[ceecee]

You haven't found an attraction between yourself and ESFPs in the past? What do you think of ESFPs then?

Attraction, yes, because people love them off the bat, but that wore off pretty quickly. They draw way too much attention to themselves for my comfort, couldn't deal with structure or routine or anything they found to be oppressive (their words). I found they didn't care much for anything that got in the way of their gratification and if I didn't want that at the moment, they got pretty ugly.

They would make a fine casual friend for me (same for my ENFP friends. Great friends, would not trust them to pay bills or pick up kids from school). They aren't and would never be a good type for a relationship with me. They would not be a person I would put much trust in or place any kind of responsibility on. I don't especially care about compatibility being based on opposite functions - in this pairing I know it's not for me and that came from the experience I had with one.

 

[Chthonic]

They would make a fine casual friend for me (same for my ENFP friends. Great friends, would not trust them to pay bills or pick up kids from school).

This. One of my favourite coworkers is an ESFP, but irresponsibility is his middle name. I know I can rely on him to do everything half-arsed, make others laugh and play manipulation games. Always a fun day when we are working together, productivity however just isn't there.

 

[Coriolis]

Then they realize that resistance is futile. Then they try to resist again, get a headache and realize that resistance is futile. Then they try to resist, get a headache and.. I dont think its so much of being resistant to social pressures, than it is to not want to give in for social pressure, especially if its something that goes against their routines/ways of doing things or other stuff they value, like self profits.

Ps. in order to control an INTJ in social setting you need to make him realize that he gains more by going with the flow than resisting or that resisting only causes harm to self and others(that reflects back to them).

When an INTJ (or anyone else) follows social customs in order to get something, this is not succumbing to social pressure, it is simply doing what it takes to reach a goal. It is the same motivation that leads people to accept unpleasant procedures like root canals or uprooting their family to keep or get a job. Responding to social pressures implies that one values social approval itself. It is quite easy to resist, in fact.

But why are more women F types, and more men T types? Sex differences in personality. If there is a massive conspiracy to make women and men behave a certain way, I would like to be aware of it

What will it take for people here to understand that the exception does not make the rule?

I wouldn't call 30-45% of the population an exception. If there is a rule, it is that people follow type, with much variation within each type due to the many other human differences we have. I wouldn't be surprised if there has been a massive if unintentional "conspiracy" to favor F in women and T in men, specifically in F women being more likely to attract mates and go on to reproduce. The difference is probably small, but multiplied over many generations, at least in certain cultures. I wonder if the T/F distribution varies by culture, and how then that relates to the amount of gender bias in the culture.

 

[chubber]

You haven't found an attraction between yourself and ESFPs in the past? What do you think of ESFPs then?

All I know is that ENFPs seem drawn to me (and I to them), and I've seen a similar pattern with other people I know, though not widespread enough to form a conclusion on in itself.



Compatibility is based on having opposite functions, like Se and Ni. So if we take functions to be the basis, it would have to be ESFP with INTJ.

That's if the functions matched perfectly, but they don't. Introverts on the system doesn't cross over exactly like the extraverts can.

 

[INTP]

When an INTJ (or anyone else) follows social customs in order to get something, this is not succumbing to social pressure, it is simply doing what it takes to reach a goal. It is the same motivation that leads people to accept unpleasant procedures like root canals or uprooting their family to keep or get a job. Responding to social pressures implies that one values social approval itself. It is quite easy to resist, in fact.


I wouldn't call 30-45% of the population an exception. If there is a rule, it is that people follow type, with much variation within each type due to the many other human differences we have. I wouldn't be surprised if there has been a massive if unintentional "conspiracy" to favor F in women and T in men, specifically in F women being more likely to attract mates and go on to reproduce. The difference is probably small, but multiplied over many generations, at least in certain cultures. I wonder if the T/F distribution varies by culture, and how then that relates to the amount of gender bias in the culture.

Isnt the whole idea of giving up to social pressure(i didnt say about customs, but people requiring something from you in a social setting), doing something you might not want to do, but doing it anyways because its something that needs to be done so that the situation doesent turn against you in some way?

What comes to women being more F than men, its basically because men are physically stronger and women had to adjust to this since stone ages. I think that evolution has made it that women are more prone to being F types, but also to T type women there are social pressures(in this case its also more about customs) to act more F like, so its more about persona requirements for women to act more F. Also the social setting among women and men are different when growing up. Between men its more like "shut up or i beat you up", while between women its not so much about using physical force, but to gossiping bad stuff, creating rumors, creating drama around something etc. Which is more F sort of style than for men. I dont mean that women always create drama, like to gossip etc. but i can certainly say that they are more prone to that sort of stuff than men are. But i also think that if its about all F men, they are going to act more like women in the situation than beating each other up.. I mean if you put 10 men and 10 women in room together, there is a high chance for women to cause some drama, gossiping etc. While for men if there is some drama, its most likely handled with fists than by creating rumors or gossiping. Except ofc if all the women are INTXs, then there will be endless debates where everyone tries to outsmart each other and not so much creating nasty rumors or gossips.

 

[Obsidius]

You haven't found an attraction between yourself and ESFPs in the past? What do you think of ESFPs then?

All I know is that ENFPs seem drawn to me (and I to them), and I've seen a similar pattern with other people I know, though not widespread enough to form a conclusion on in itself.



Compatibility is based on having opposite functions, like Se and Ni. So if we take functions to be the basis, it would have to be ESFP with INTJ.

I think the main issue INTJ's would have with ESFP's is that they are usually attention seekers, and most INTJ's I know can see right through this, into their ego and we find it patently fake... It's almost like they're putting on an act in order to be liked or have attention drawn to them, and it's really of putting, but this is obviously a MASSIVE generalisation, there would be plenty of fine ones.

 

[laterlazer]

I have found, and also read, that what often appear to be gender differences are really T/F differences. Because more women are F, we associate F-like behaviors with women, when they are more correctly associated with F types. Same for T. Women T's thus seem not like other women, when they really are just not like Fs, because they aren't Fs. Same for F men. I'm not discounting the influence of social pressures, just pointing out other factors involved.

This I found out to be really true like some months ago. My dad was going on to my brother about how men are more rational and logical than women and women are really emotional and blah blah blah, and although I know that being emotional or rational is not directly linked with T/Fness, all I could think was nope nope that's a difference in personality not women and men. I was so annoyed at that statement.

 

[Jaguar]

I have found, and also read, that what often appear to be gender differences are really T/F differences.

Is that why I never thought you were a male when you joined the forum?

 

[Coriolis]

Isnt the whole idea of giving up to social pressure(i didnt say about customs, but people requiring something from you in a social setting), doing something you might not want to do, but doing it anyways because its something that needs to be done so that the situation doesent turn against you in some way?

When I think of social pressure and hear it discussed, it generally involves people who do what is socially expected because either they see doing so as a good in and of itself, or they want to be accepted and fit into the group for its own sake. People who give in to social pressure do it as a habit, a reflex, even, and generally do so consistently unless/until some significant value or boundary is threatened. Doing what is socially expected to achieve some specific end is much more premediated and deliberate, and often lasts just long enough to reach that end since otherwise it has no value. Following social expectations for their own sake or just to feel part of the group are not important.

What comes to women being more F than men, its basically because men are physically stronger and women had to adjust to this since stone ages. I think that evolution has made it that women are more prone to being F types, but also to T type women there are social pressures(in this case its also more about customs) to act more F like, so its more about persona requirements for women to act more F.

Any link between brute force physical strength and T/F is tenuous at best. Remember - F refers to subjective judgment and values, not to being an emotional basket case. T likewise refers to objective and rational judgment, not to being cold and unemotional. To go with the ancient stereotypes, women who did not think rationally and objectively probably had less success keeping their children safe and alive. Men hunting the wooly mammoth or protecting their family probably got all fired up and had a very strong sense of values and priorities. If there is an evolutionary bias, I suspect it was more along the lines of T personality traits being bred out of women as humanity became more "civilized", though this is pure speculation.

Is that why I never thought you were a male when you joined the forum?

I would not presume to explain how you draw conclusions about such matters, though I would certainly be interested in learning.

 

[Pionart]

Any link between brute force physical strength and T/F is tenuous at best. Remember - F refers to subjective judgment and values, not to being an emotional basket case. T likewise refers to objective and rational judgment, not to being cold and unemotional. To go with the ancient stereotypes, women who did not think rationally and objectively probably had less success keeping their children safe and alive. Men hunting the wooly mammoth or protecting their family probably got all fired up and had a very strong sense of values and priorities. If there is an evolutionary bias, I suspect it was more along the lines of T personality traits being bred out of women as humanity became more "civilized", though this is pure speculation.

Yeah, I would think men being more physical and women being more social, if true, is independent of type.

I had thought that women tended to be F because it meant they would be more caring towards their child, or something like that. That may not be true.

 

[INTP]

When I think of social pressure and hear it discussed, it generally involves people who do what is socially expected because either they see doing so as a good in and of itself, or they want to be accepted and fit into the group for its own sake. People who give in to social pressure do it as a habit, a reflex, even, and generally do so consistently unless/until some significant value or boundary is threatened. Doing what is socially expected to achieve some specific end is much more premediated and deliberate, and often lasts just long enough to reach that end since otherwise it has no value. Following social expectations for their own sake or just to feel part of the group are not important.


Any link between brute force physical strength and T/F is tenuous at best. Remember - F refers to subjective judgment and values, not to being an emotional basket case. T likewise refers to objective and rational judgment, not to being cold and unemotional. To go with the ancient stereotypes, women who did not think rationally and objectively probably had less success keeping their children safe and alive. Men hunting the wooly mammoth or protecting their family probably got all fired up and had a very strong sense of values and priorities. If there is an evolutionary bias, I suspect it was more along the lines of T personality traits being bred out of women as humanity became more "civilized", though this is pure speculation.


I would not presume to explain how you draw conclusions about such matters, though I would certainly be interested in learning.

I didnt say that the "masculine" way of using brute force was related to T(its more about S and maybe some T in its concrete form = thinking directly related to sensations), i just said that the "feminine" way is related to F.

 

[DarkestSunlight]

I've been most attracted to ESTJ, ISTJ, ENFP, INTP
I usually dislike INFJ, ESTP, ESFP, ENTP
People who pursue me tend to be ENFP, ESTP, INTP, ISTJ
People who tend to dislike me INFJ, ENTP, ESTJ, ESFJ

I like to be taken care of in thoughtful ways - my favourite dinner ready for me, making me tea, bringing me an interesting book, in very pleasant and subtle ways.
I like to be another persons rock and give them stability, support and confidence.
I do not like consistent irrational emotions or overwhelming neediness.
Ideally the right person for me would be someone who always has a plan, likes daily routine and efficiency, and has the same interests and life direction as myself.

My attraction to people is gender neutral. Intelligence is the most powerful attractant.

 

[highlander]

Relationships I've had have included ISFP, ESFJ, ENFJ, ENFP and ISFJ. The two big ones were ISFP and ISFJ. i think I was the one who initiated in all cases. There is a lot of potential between Ni doms being in a relationship together but that happens pretty rarely because of how uncommon they are and the fact that they are attracted to opposite types when younger.

 

[Obsidius]

Relationships I've had have included ISFP, ESFJ, ENFJ, ENFP and ISFJ. The two big ones were ISFP and ISFJ. i think I was the one who initiated in all cases. There is a lot of potential between Ni doms being in a relationship together but that happens pretty rarely because of how uncommon they are and the fact that they are attracted to opposite types when younger.

Interesting you mentioned the main ones being ISFx. As of late I've recognised a fairly prominent affinity between me and IxFx's, particularly IxFJ's. My opinion is kind of irrelevant now though, seeing as I've retyped.

 

[nonchalant]

INFPs like INTJs too.

 

[highlander]

INFPs like INTJs too.

I do remember that I dated an INFP a couple times. I forgot about that. We really got along well and I loved talking to her. She invited me to a dance. There wasn't enough physical attraction though.

 

[BadOctopus]

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] So you've never dated a Thinking type? I haven't, either. Which isn't intentional, as I'm certainly attracted to them. In fact, I think I might be more compatible with them.

Is there any reason why you haven't dated any Ts? Or is it just coincidental?