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[MBTI General] What types are attracted to the INTJ? Romantically speaking.

nonchalant

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I do remember that I dated an INFP a couple times. I forgot about that. We really got along well and I loved talking to her. She invited me to a dance. There wasn't enough physical attraction though.


Yes. I met several INTJs that I wasn't attracted to physically but then nevertheless I like their personalities. I think that INFPs and INTJs can get along really well.
 

highlander

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[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] So you've never dated a Thinking type? I haven't, either. Which isn't intentional, as I'm certainly attracted to them. In fact, I think I might be more compatible with them.

Is there any reason why you haven't dated any Ts? Or is it just coincidental?

That's an interesting observation. It probably reflects my bias towards Fs. Now that I recall, there was one that was most definitely a T. She was probably an ISTJ. Accounting major. She was really attractive - maybe the best looking girl I ever went out with. We just didn't have the right interpersonal chemistry though.
 

nonchalant

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I think that one of the difficulties with the INFP and INTJ pairing is that neither the type wants to make the first move.

And even if the INTJ does the INFP would not get it, speaking from a personal experience.

There were many occasions when the INTJs had asked me out but I didn't get it because they looked too serious I thought they meant casual going out and I didn't know they had a thing for me. I missed the signals all the time. Probably I just didn't understand Ni.
 

Entropic

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In no order of chronology they've been ISTP, ISTP, ISTP, ISTP, ENTJ, ESFP, ????. Last person I don't know but I think they favored Fi-Te in some order. I've been/am friends with INFP, ENFP, ISTP?, likely ESFJ (ended horribly), ESFJ (also ended horribly but not nearly as horribly) ISTJ, INTJ, INTJ, INTJ, INTJ, INTJ, more INTJ?, INFJ, ESTP, ESFP, ESFP zzzzz. Probably more here, but my memory's getting short-fused. The best friendship I had was with the ESFP until she went kind of nuts (was suffering from a major depression among other things) and decided I wasn't a cool kid anymore and we should stop hang out.

In summary, ISTPs tend to like me a lot. I don't know why, as I am not nearly as fond of them as they are me, and I wish they could be a little bit more chasing by taking more initiative and keep up the intensity more. My longest and most successful relationship is with the ESFP, my current SO. She chased me long and hard though, LOL.

The two types I probably like the most are ESFP and INFP. ISFP have too high standards, I never seem to be able to impress them though more mature ones are cool (appreciate Ni more) and I seem to be invariably drawn to ESFPs wherever I come across them (a lot of my favorite fictive characters are ESFPs, even before I knew that they were). INFPs make good friends but they lack the decisiveness that I appreciate but I don't feel that they satisfy me nearly as much as ESFPs do. I think second to this, I would probably say INFJ. ESTP is kind of ok, but is so hit and miss I wouldn't bother with it most of the time. There's too much Fi-Fe clashing.

I never understood the INTJ-ENFP thing, personally... It's like people think this pairing is the second coming of Christ. The only other couple pairing that stands close to it in typology circles is the 4-8 pairing which I don't get either because the first ESFJ that I knew and was friends with was likely a 4 and she began to introject hard on me and when I realized I got so repulsed I ditched her. The other ESFJ was also a 4 and I couldn't stand how I felt I kept cultivating our friendship and I thought it meant something more than it apparently ever did; I felt betrayed and I ditched it. One of the INFPs I know is a 4, but we drifted apart and the ENFP 4 I know is driving me insane with his lack of Te logic and I feel like I have to become a Te dom around him and I don't even favor Te as a cognitive tool that much. So yeah, fuck 4s.
 

Cygnus

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I don't even know why the fuck people ask all these convoluted questions about MBTI relationships. Duality exists, google it, it's that simple.




Take your MBTI type, change all the letters to their opposite, and bingo, you've got your partner for life. Is it really that hard?
 

chubber

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I don't even know why the fuck people ask all these convoluted questions about MBTI relationships. Duality exists, google it, it's that simple.




Take your MBTI type, change all the letters to their opposite, and bingo, you've got your partner for life. Is it really that hard?

That would be Socionics duality, not Jung's version. ENTP is Jung's first choice for INTJ, with ENFP as a 2nd option.






I predict plenty of battle with INTJ/ENFP pairs. Even more so with INFP/INTJ. ENFP's Fi-Aux is going to battle INTJ's Te-Aux. F and T are polar opposites. Now imagine INTJ and INFP, it's going to be 10x worse because that Fi-Dom is going to battle INTJ's Te-Aux constantly. What's keeping the ENFP and the INTJ together while it lasts is Ne/Ni but that's about it.

ENTP's shadow will be ISFJ and the INTJ's shadow is ESFP. When both get mad, both will balance each other. ENFP's shadow is ISTJ and ... now you get ESFP's 2nd option (from the INTJ's shadow). So that could work but again... not first prize according to Jung's theory.

INFP's turn into ESTJs when they get angry, butchering people along the way, stubborn and unwilling to accept new input.

ENTPs and INTJs are both sides of the same coin, why Jung recommended that they will balance each other out.

The best match for INFP is ENFJ because again, they are both sides of the same coin. INFPs need that constant validation that an ENFJ can provide. ENFJs want to make people happy and INFPs need that. INTJs get cold don't give what that INFP craves.

ENFPs are kinda left out in the cold, but they can at least work with Ne/Ni.




Besides all of this, ENTPs and INTJs don't seem to last either because they probably get bored with each other. Maybe that's why INTJs and ENFPs are promoted on some sites, that battle between ENFP and INTJ keeps them interested in each other. (Just a speculation)
 

Eluded_One

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The best match for INFP is ENFJ because again, they are both sides of the same coin. INFPs need that constant validation that an ENFJ can provide. ENFJs want to make people happy and INFPs need that. INTJs get cold don't give what that INFP craves.

I suppose ENFJ would be a good match for me, if in particular, I wouldn't be feeling slaved to their FE.

I know of my deep rooted desire to be accepted through the display of physical affection and I highly doubt many INTJ would willingly follow up in this area. Forced behavior is a real turn off.

INFP's turn into ESTJs when they get angry, butchering people along the way, stubborn and unwilling to accept new input.

For sure, you don't want to be around when I'm offended. That's when my internal instincts go, "fortify the walls, we can't let the enemy in!"
 

Entropic

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That would be Socionics duality, not Jung's version. ENTP is Jung's first choice for INTJ, with ENFP as a 2nd option.

Source? Because if we go by the anima complex which Beebe structures his system around, then the ideal partner would be an Se dom.
 

Tippo

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Smart people have the power of attraction not limited to their physical appearance. Of course, being smart would assume a level of personal appearance to promote attraction.

Intj persons are very attractive IMO. I love quirks and social weirdness. Very sexy!
 

great_bay

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In theory, it would be types that are attractive to INTJ's functions

ENFP, and ENTP are the obvious ones.

ISFJ and ESFJ might be attractive to INTJ weaker function such as Fi and Se. ISTP's are attractive to INTJ's Te.
 

RandomINTP

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Everybody says the ENFP is perfect for the INTJ, but I personally think the ENFJ would be a better match with the INTJ,
And the ENFP being a good match for the INTP, IMO.
 

Tippo

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I'm very attracted to intjs. I admire the depth of expertise. Mostly, the articulate fact based debates not only show me things, they hold my interest, unlike most interactions day to day.
 

Obsidius

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Everybody says the ENFP is perfect for the INTJ, but I personally think the ENFJ would be a better match with the INTJ,
And the ENFP being a good match for the INTP, IMO.

Really? That's interesting, I know a few INTJ's and they seem to think ENFJ's are annoying, but that's obviously a small sample size. And for INTP, I think ENFP is good, sure, but INTP's go well with another introvert imo.
 

wakeangel

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Yeah, I understand what you mean. But that might make me strange, because I'm an INTJ who loves talking about emotions/feelings. But that's because I take an different approach to some of INTJ buddies, if I am friends/care about someone, especially in a relationship, I need to know how they're feeling and why they're feeling that way in order to make decisions etc. And I express how I feel very well, seeing as I'm primarily a writer, I guess I get a lot of practice at it. But yeah, I've heard many times that INTJ's are good as close friends or in close relationships, but not so good in terms of our attraction to others, takes a lot for us to break the ice.

Can we be friends. I am INTJ and I get flak from others in my group because I am obsessed with subtle energy, vibes, psychology, self help books and feelings. Although I admit, I suck at feeling them naturally. I am pretty keen on understanding others and very over sensitive and empathetic. The discussion of such topics has been therapeutic for me.
 

INTP

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Can we be friends. I am INTJ and I get flak from others in my group because I am obsessed with subtle energy, vibes, psychology, self help books and feelings. Although I admit, I suck at feeling them naturally. I am pretty keen on understanding others and very over sensitive and empathetic. The discussion of such topics has been therapeutic for me.

Sure you are not an INFJ?
 

pluviophile

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One of my best friends is an intj. I used to have major feels for him that went beyond friendship. He's a really good listener, although he usually says he doesn't know what to say. Sometimes, for me personally, that's just a lot better than anything else someone could do. He doesn't always agree with or understand some of my choices that he doesn't deem logical, but he's pretty respectful about it and doesn't say too much. Also, he can get irritated at my emotional stuff and I get irritated at his constant logical outlining of why he is right. He helps me with my computer and I help him understand people. :) I get lost in my negative feelings a lot and he can draw me out of that really easily. He usually listens and then he wants to play chess or have a tetris battle or discuss something related to science or computers. He helps me to stop thinking about my feelings which can be a big relief. I just think he's really smart and I like listening to him talk about his latest programming projects. Also, I really like that he doesn't ever just assume that he understands how I feel about something and when it is important, he asks me to clarify. He is just like a safe, quiet, relaxing place for me. I think we are really good about respecting each others need for space. I guess that's it. We kind of build each other up because we appreciate and admire each others opposite strengths. Oh, he also has a really weird sense of humor, but I think he's hilarious. So, these are the reasons why I appreciate him as a friend, but they are also the reasons I was attracted to him beyond that. Now he is in love with an infj. They are really good for each other, in my opinion. I did spend about twenty minutes the other day explaining to him why he could at least touch her in public though. :laugh: I don't know how much of this relates to intj's as a whole, but I hope it was helpful in some way.
 

hecait

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The guy I like might be an INTJ, but I'm not sure. He's an adjunct professor working towards a PhD in forensic nanotechnology. He double-majored in Chemistry and biophysics and wants to work for the FBI. He's very intelligent and driven, but aloof and hard to get a read on.
 

Raspberry_rain

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This ENFP that's for sure :) The only two guys I've ever had strong feelings for were both INTJ. I think INFJs tend to like them too and so do some ISFPs.
 
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