[ESTJ] What pisses you off about ESTJs?

[Ursa]

Rant, criticize or critique to your satisfaction here!

 

[Ghost]

What pisses me off about ESTJs is that they won't let me be an ESTJ, too. Jerks.

 

[Forever]

What pisses me off about ESTJs is that they won't let me be an ESTJ, too. Jerks.

I agree.

 

[Obfuscate]

when they think they can tell me what to do... i'ld tell them what i think of it, but i have more subtle ways to undermine their efforts...

 

[Lord Lavender]

In genral Te and me dont mix well as when someone attempts to get me to follow a Te system I feel as i am not at my full Ti potential so to speak.

 

[Yama]

Sometimes Te scares me because it can be quite abrasive at times and I am pretty sensitive. But it's okay, I'm in love with all ESTJs simultaneously.

 

[Tellenbach]

It's based on a small sample size but the two ESTJs I know offer advice when it's not needed or welcome. I'm sure they think they are being helpful, but they're not.

 

[Fidelia]

Their discomfort with emotion can cause problems in how I relate to them. They find vulnerability really difficult and sometimes can unwittingly try to maintain the upper hand as a means of self protection. They are great teachers, but find it really difficult to accept help or comfort from other people. As colleagues or acquaintances, it's no problem, but for closer relationships it creates an imbalance that I dislike.

 

[EJCC]

Sometimes Te scares me because it can be quite abrasive at times and I am pretty sensitive. But it's okay, I'm in love with all ESTJs simultaneously.

It's based on a small sample size but the two ESTJs I know offer advice when it's not needed or welcome. I'm sure they think they are being helpful, but they're not.

Let me offer you some much-needed advice...

Their discomfort with emotion can cause problems in how I relate to them. They find vulnerability really difficult and sometimes can unwittingly try to maintain the upper hand as a means of self protection. They are great teachers, but find it really difficult to accept help or comfort from other people. As colleagues or acquaintances, it's no problem, but for closer relationships it creates an imbalance that I dislike.

FWIW, we don't like that imbalance either. But we have no one to blame but ourselves.

 

[highlander]

The ones that I know tend to be overconfident in their opinions and don't listen very well to alternate viewpoints. It can be frustrating working with them because of this impatient interaction style combined with those things. What ends up happening is you don't even try to educate them when they are wrong because it's not worth the effort.

 

[Xann]

The following applies to individuals who are mediocre or below in their psychological health, with poor Fi integration, which are rather common I suppose in our society.

Limited capacity (due to lack of desire and interest) to have insight into the deeper motivations of others, as well as their potential and values in anything but the most direct sense. Most likely type to unknowingly (and sometimes knowingly, but indifferent to it) perpetuate societal evils due to willingness to act and produce "results" of a type that gratifies the superego of social expectations, rather than assessing the larger picture of how that behavior falls into a larger moral and individual framework. Also, when attempting to take action in a way that would provide some benefit to the larger moral framework outside themselves, does so short-sightedly, usually limiting its effectiveness in doing anything but satisfying their own personal desires to contribute in this manner and quell any fears that their self-conduct may lack a higher ethical value. Acquired arrogance due to their own personal abilities to accomplish objective tasks in comparison to others who are less objective and results driven, and lack of desire to comprehend why others may be this way, or why it is potentially a positive. Anger issues, because knowing how to get what they want when they want it prevents development of patience. A hard and sometimes callous heart, because being able to objectify people and situations for efficiency and expediency cultivates one by default unless great pains are taken to avoid it.

I have a hard time with this type, and they cause me the most grief by default unless I am careful, but certain wonderful individuals on this site continually defy the stereotypes.

 

[Poki]

When they become negative and critical of the world, i guess an unhealthy one pisses me off. I enjoy the healthy ones, even the ones who talk out of their ass because it generally aligns with raising people up, not destroying like unhealthy ones.

Put an ESTJ in a good mood and his Fi values towards the world follow suit.

 

[Poki]

In genral Te and me dont mix well as when someone attempts to get me to follow a Te system I feel as i am not at my full Ti potential so to speak.

Ti creates systems, dont hold us down from our ability to create systems. Thats just wrong.

 

[Riva]

Applies to unhealthy estjs -

Disgustingly bossy
Wants it their way alone
Inflexible
Condescending
Cruel, rude, insensitive
Loud
Pushy
Inability understand/empathize with others' points of view
(or they don't even try)

 

[Lord Lavender]

Ti creates systems, dont hold us down from our ability to create systems. Thats just wrong.

Thats why Te annoys me because I want to eat my nice steak and fries that i concocted myself not the mashed potato that Te wants to serve everyone (I know silly example but makes sense). I create my own systems where i work best with and if i have to follow a Te system i feel as i am selling myself short. Kind of like Fi users who feel inauthentic following a Fe code but with systems and logic instead of morals.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Nothing.

 

[Ursa]

The ones that I know tend to be overconfident in their opinions and don't listen very well to alternate viewpoints. It can be frustrating working with them because of this impatient interaction style combined with those things. What ends up happening is you don't even try to educate them when they are wrong because it's not worth the effort.

I have noticed recently that the Ni-Si divide in conversation between XNTJs and XSTJs tends to lead to mutual heated frustration for conversation participants. If you were to offer your ESTJ colleagues advice on how to work with you and your style, what would it be?