Do you happen to be a Christian, like myself, Lark?
I'm a practicing roman catholic.
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Your commitment to a particular brand of Christianity is interesting, but what might be more interesting would be to explore your psyche, to explore your psychological life.
To be a member of a site devoted to psychology and focus obsessively on the beliefs of a particular sect of Christianity, would suggest you are not only pulling the wool over our eyes but over your own eyes as well.