Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What does your blind spot look like? (So, Sx, or Sp)

[Peter Deadpan]

Not knowing what to do or say in semi-formal social situations, shifting your weight a little but trying not to do it too much, standing there awkwardly, occasional smiles to replace the lack of vocal participation, wanting to not be there, speaking too softly or conversely being too "loud", long pauses, one too many "thank yous", jokes that are ill-timed or not relatable to the group, getting distracted by your surroundings or mentally wandering, forgetting people's names, forgetting who knows who and how, forgetting important details about people, either walking away too soon/quietly or awkwardly lingering too long during goodbyes, failing to adhere to social niceties (like thank you cards, remembering birthdays, etc.), unconsciously calling on people when you need them more so than to be there for them, etc. etc. etc...

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Hold on.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
That exactly sounds like me, except for not remembering people's social connections, yet I don't think so is my blind spot. I'm genuinely confused.

Well, a lot of this could also be socially awkward, introvert stuff. And actually, I think the "knowing connections" is the most social of all of it, instinct wise.

Social is also associated with adaptability, which I don't really possess when it comes to those around me, much to their dismay at times, I'm sure.

 

[Sacrophagus]

What does your blind spot look like?

Not giving a fuck about social hierarchy. You'll speak to whoever they are or whoever the fuck they think they are in the same respect you will accord to anyone.

Formalities and social trivia are out of the window, business is on the table, and it's goodbye once it's done.

 

[The Cat]

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Not giving a fuck about social hierarchy. You'll speak to whoever they are or whoever the fuck they think they are in the same respect you will accord to anyone.

Formalities and social trivia are out of the window, business is on the table, and it's goodbye once it's done.

Antisocial is not the same thing as social-blind.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I lack loyalty to others, largely. My coworker's last day is on Friday. We've worked together closely for 3 years, but we've also worked together elsewhere and known each other for 10 years. She's been a Facebook friend that entire time.

I pondered getting her a goodbye gift. Not to strengthen or secure a bond, but because I know it's the "normal" thing to do... the right and thoughtful thing. I would be doing it for her, because I know she is very sensitive to such social gestures, although she thinks it doesn't show and can't even see it in herself.

I will get her the gift, and maybe go out for a drink one time... but I guarantee we will never see each other again, because that's just how I am.

I cannot remember the names or faces of probably close to 80% of the people I've ever worked with, some of them for quite some time. It's made for some embarrassing moments along the way. "What do you mean you don't remember her? You're joking, right?" No, I'm not joking.

I also can only mostly guess where I stand with the majority of people. It's not that I don't have a good feeling for where I think they would place me if I think about it, but it's that I don't have a conscious radar for it. Even with guessing, I'm still often not totally sure (and mostly indifferent but not always).

I also suspect I probably say a lot of socially clumsy shit in semiformal situations, but usually realize after the fact. It is, however, nothing compared to my other coworker... the one I'm fucking stuck with now.

I can't cope with her, so my goal is to ignore her forever until she gets so uncomfortable and/or depressed in my presence that she decides to quit. You judge me.... but you have NO idea what it's like to be trapped in a small box with that animal. She's also ruining my reputation as the best groomer in the county (that's county and not country, for those of you outside of the US who don't have counties and thus possibly aren't familiar with them).

What were we talking about?
I don't know, and mostly don't care.

 

[Sacrophagus]

Antisocial is not the same thing as social-blind.

You're being short-sighted.

This was my intent :

SO-blinds are often unaware of certain social cues, or they might ignore them without even intending to rebel against them.

Naturally dealing with individuals on an object level without intending to take them out of their position.
You can't rebel against something you don't care about or acknowledge in your core being.

This too:

They are less concerned with how others see them and how they fit into the greater context of society or even their own small circle. In a sense, they lack a “genre,” the SO-doms having the clearest sense of this. They will take little pride in being part of any team, being from a particular city/place, having a “crew” or group, etc.

Being part of a hierarchy and simply attribute it to the duties and tasks I have to perform, as opposed of using it as a symbol of status, pride, and wave it around to meet other social ends.
I have no sense of loyalty unless I decide to whom I am going to be loyal to. Should they fuck up, and that loyalty ends.


If you can't read further that point, that's fine. Maybe another time when I'm not as lazy, or maybe never.

 

[Population: 1]

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

SP I think

 

[The Cat]

I'd say the weirdest thing about my blind spot, is how many eyes it has.

 

[Maou]

How can we see if our eyes aint real?

 

[ceecee]

SO is my blind sport. So to develop it I needed to learn to be warmer, more open, engaging, and socially responsible. Social types adapt themselves to serve the needs of the social situation they find themselves in, so I read. Fake it until you make it is how I took that. I mostly had to understand that I didn't need to give up being an 8 sp/sx to become a better 8 sp/sx.

 

[Pionart]

How can we see if our eyes aint real?

But how can real eyes realise real lies if eyes aren't real?

And how can a lie be real? Only if the truth isn't realised.

 

[Lexicon]

Blind spot looks like this:

 

[The Cat]

Blind spot looks like this:

I tend to call new people by the first distinguishing features that I notice, until I get their names down.

The cycle:
Everyone starts out as "Human."
Then Trait Human
Double Trait
Nickname
Proper name.
I only need to know their full name if I'm upset at them. Usually I just make up their middle name. It's usually James.

Y'all I'm starting to wonder if I'm not a So dom after all?

 

[EJCC]

How can we see if our eyes aint real?

But how can real eyes realise real lies if eyes aren't real?

And how can a lie be real? Only if the truth isn't realised.

... (resident Sensor backs slowly out of room)

 

[Morpeko]

Considering sx blind.

The idea of intimacy makes me extremely uncomfortable and I'm quite poor at maintaining one-on-one connections with most people.
I'd rather have a lot of acquaintances than a few really close friends. I try to withdraw whenever I become too close to someone.
I don't like to "merge" with other people, even those I consider myself closest too, and I avoid intensity in relationships.
I try to figure out how I am perceived by groups of people and what kind of impact I make (if any) wherever I go, be it school or work or even online forums.
I am sensitive and receptive to what other people think of me.

Wow, me in early 2018. What the fuck happened...

I used to claim I hated intimacy, merging, and intensity, despite craving it, because I wasn't very good at obtaining those things. I'm the king of sour-graping. I'm kind of bad still at maintaining one-on-one connections in general, except that now I've learned that it comes naturally and is a MUST if I deeply care about someone. And I'd rather keep everyone at a distance unless I have reason to connect. I guess that's the self-preservation in me.

Now that I've found outlets for my sx within those three years, there is no other option for me, I must pursue them and life is meaningless without it.

I'm confident now that I am social blind. The paranoia about how I am perceived by others is related to how I experience the shame triad, and also what I believe is over-compensation for a social blindspot. I am very negative to "social" instinct attitudes in general, and I prioritize sexual and self-preservation needs much more.

 

[Apeironstella]

Sx blindspot, given so/sp typing.

I usually do consider myself as someone who chases after my passions, and while in a sense that's true, it is also never things that would require me to give up my comfort/well being to what I'd see as an absurd extent- I always have that sp pulling me back when I get "too far". I think only some sort of social issue that I can't turn a blind eye on and push coming to shove on that kind of issue would be able to override my sp, rather than a singular personal bond (unless there is some sort of an overlap/it is about some sort of injustice they are facing and I'm pissed enough about it risk my own safety- which has happened before).

While I don't mind being friendly with people, and like to think that people in my life had varying degrees of (mostly positive) effect in my life that will linger even after we have moved on from each other and vice-versa, I also feel fairly rootless- as in, I could just move to a completely new place tomorrow, and be fine with that. (Which is not wrong, I've moved a lot since I was a kid, and so I got to try different methods to try to make friends with different people at different ages to try to join friend groups around me.)

I'm super easily emotional when I see any media that is about connection between people, yet even for people I do treasure, there is always often some space left- I tend to have an awareness of what part of me is "safe" to share with someone, and hold back anything that can lead to rejection, especially if it is someone I feel like I already "click" with and don't want to lose that bond, or someone who can jeopardize my safety and comfort, even if that means said bonds tend to be shallower in a sense.

I also don't really have much interest in romantic relationships, in the sense that I'm not really attracted to people romantically or sexually, main way I tend to relate to others is through shared interests and the way they look at social issues I care about- which is not to say I'm a squeaky clean person by any means, but that I can't really relate to higher sx people when it comes to them being interested in others beyond where you click with them on shared interests/opinions, or discussing where you don't meet them; someone just being able to be attracted to someone enough to push aside other concerns and jump head first into a relationship (not necessarily just romantic/sexual) is not something I can relate to much.