Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What does your blind spot look like? (So, Sx, or Sp)

[Siúil a Rúin]

I feel definitely sx first, then sp, and so is clearly last.

I crave a sublime intimacy that I had not ever found, and have taken great risks in search of it. I'm not dramatic or intense in an extroverted way, but enjoy and relax with certain kinds of sensory intensity like a metal concert or a sunset. I love feeling overwhelmed. I would likely give up everything for a deep love and might end up doing that. It is my main reason to live - to hope for it.

My environment and upbringing has strengthened my sp. I lived an unstable and unsafe childhood, so I have heightened instincts to be safe. I tend to take calculated risks, but will increase the risk level if there is a promise of deep intimacy. I am something of a survivalist.

My blindspot would be so. I find the point of interacting with people confusing, especially on a shallow level. I find it painful and disorienting. It also drains me. I could live without any acquaintance interaction in my life. If in despair I could be a hermit, but in my ideal, I'd be with my love and most of the rest of the people would be kind of irrelevant. Although, I do like to help people at a distance, but get really regretful when I end up involved.

 

[Red Memories]

IxFP 147 Sx/Sp

I actually typed myself as Sx/So for a long while, until I was in an enneagram discord server. Where So doms and auxes began discussing how their So shows itself.
I resonated with none of it.
Matter of fact I thought some of their commentary was hard to fathom...keeping certain friend groups away from the other since you only share certain things with certain friends. That's just...not how I roll. I think I meet someone wonderful and I want to connect them with all the other wonderful people I know. So we can be one big grand wonderful of happy. I strongly prefer 1x1 connections as sitting in a group setting with unfamiliars can be awkward. If I am not treated as an equal to your other friends moreless in a friend setting I'm going to feel upset.

 

[Earl Grey]

• A persistent disinterest in deepening relationships or seeking intimate connections, to a degree that frustrates friends of all levels of depths of friendships.
  
• Compulsive withdrawing every time some vague boundary of mine of any kind gets trespassed.
  
• When someone has 'locked on' to me, I get uncomfortable, especially if they want to 'pull me aside' for a 'one-on-one'. I would answer dryly to bore them quickly.
  
• A near complete inability to do something spontaneously just for short-term gratification.
  - People say do it!! Or you'll regret not doing it later!! No thanks, it has been years, I am still happy I did not do that [reckless/stupid/senseless/dangerous] thing years ago, thanks.

And more from Instinct Stackings - Enneagram Universe, which I find to be pretty accurate.

 

[The Cat]

SP last: I live a very Sherlockian lifestyle.

 

[cascadeco]

Matter of fact I thought some of their commentary was hard to fathom...keeping certain friend groups away from the other since you only share certain things with certain friends. That's just...not how I roll. I think I meet someone wonderful and I want to connect them with all the other wonderful people I know. So we can be one big grand wonderful of happy.

This comment makes me think of one of my good friends who is an so-dom. She is friends with all sorts of people, and has a few or many 'groups' I suppose. Though, she's only close friends with a much smaller number of those folks. The thing is, is she relates and connects with these various people in different ways; different people bring different things out in her, I would imagine. I don't think she per se 'doesn't share' some things with some people, it's more that the nature of the relationship doesn't bring that out --- or, I mean, I don't know, maybe she's not super close to them, thus doesn't share.

But here's the thing -- I'd actually be greatly relieved if she did NOT invite me along with some of these people to do something, because I've met some in the past and they're not the sort of people I can connect with or relate to. So imo she (and maybe many so-doms?) is doing me a giant favor by 'segregating' her groups -- because I think she (all so doms?) is very keyed in on who each person is as an individual, thus knows when certain people or groups aren't going to mesh.

 

[rav3n]

None of the instincts are blind spots for me. It's that I simply don't value social hierarchy and can't be arsed to bother with it.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I feel definitely sx first, then sp, and so is clearly last.

I crave a sublime intimacy that I had not ever found, and have taken great risks in search of it. I'm not dramatic or intense in an extroverted way, but enjoy and relax with certain kinds of sensory intensity like a metal concert or a sunset. I love feeling overwhelmed. I would likely give up everything for a deep love and might end up doing that. It is my main reason to live - to hope for it.

My environment and upbringing has strengthened my sp. I lived an unstable and unsafe childhood, so I have heightened instincts to be safe. I tend to take calculated risks, but will increase the risk level if there is a promise of deep intimacy. I am something of a survivalist.

My blindspot would be so. I find the point of interacting with people confusing, especially on a shallow level. I find it painful and disorienting. It also drains me. I could live without any acquaintance interaction in my life. If in despair I could be a hermit, but in my ideal, I'd be with my love and most of the rest of the people would be kind of irrelevant. Although, I do like to help people at a distance, but get really regretful when I end up involved.

You are the most kind sexual 4 I've ever seen.

Apologies if you aren't wanting to hear this, but I really like you and think you deserve to hear it.

I don't get a cut-throat competitive vibe from you, as in "I'm going to be the best at ______ , better than that person over there, because I'm secretly and subconsciously envious of them and have to put myself at #1 in order to push that envy off of myself and project it onto others".
I honestly think I do this more than you do, but still probably not enough to be sexual first.

I do wholeheartedly feel your yearning and disappointment in love though. I don't think any 4 is completely void of that.

 

[Hiraeth]

I don't get a cut-throat competitive vibe from you, as in "I'm going to be the best at ______ , better than that person over there, because I'm secretly and subconsciously envious of them and have to put myself at #1 in order to push that envy off of myself and project it onto others".
I honestly think I do this more than you do, but still probably not enough to be sexual first.

I do wholeheartedly feel your yearning and disappointment in love though. I don't think any 4 is completely void of that.

This makes me wonder sometimes because even though I don't have the angry streak of an sx 4, I seriously have that particular issue, but try to repress it in order to not admit to having it myself, especially since it's regarded as something completely amoral. Yet the feeling of extreme envy always lingers regardless, but it could possibly just be a 4 thing in general.

 

[Hiraeth]

I think I once mentioned that I was social blind on here, but now I wonder if I even have a blindspot since I relate to all 4 subtypes to a large extent. I'm having issues identifying if I am a social first 4 and just extremely private and asocial in general, but wouldn't mind identifying with like-minded individuals, or whether it's actually a repressed trait in that it's something I'm severely lacking, hence it being a blindspot for me.

The social 4 description fits me well in regards to it supposedly being the most sensitive 4 overall and me being a bit of a social critic (though not the whiny, I'm going to tell you all my problems aspect), yet I don't identify with social instinct traits at all and very much identify with everyone else who is social last in general. So I'm not sure how that even works, hah. I'm pretty much evenly spaced at this point.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I think I once mentioned that I was social blind on here, but now I wonder if I even have a blindspot since I relate to all 4 subtypes to a large extent. I'm having issues identifying if I am a social first 4 and just extremely private and asocial in general, but wouldn't mind identifying with like-minded individuals, or whether it's actually a repressed trait in that it's something I'm severely lacking, hence it being a blindspot for me.

The social 4 description fits me well in regards to it supposedly being the most sensitive 4 overall and me being a bit of a social critic (though not the whiny, I'm going to tell you all my problems aspect), yet I don't identify with social instinct traits at all and very much identify with everyone else who is social last in general. So I'm not sure how that even works, hah. I'm pretty much evenly spaced at this point.

I also relate to all 4 descriptions. I think it's hard not to, especially the more reading you do. I'd just try to sort of measure what you do from most to least.

Actually, the best way is to observe your natural thoughts day-to-day. Just look at what your mind goes to most frequently and determine if it's focused around security, people, or intensity (broadly speaking).

 

[Hiraeth]

I also relate to all 4 descriptions. I think it's hard not to, especially the more reading you do. I'd just try to sort of measure what you do from most to least.

Actually, the best way is to observe your natural thoughts day-to-day. Just look at what your mind goes to most frequently and determine if it's focused around security, people, or intensity (broadly speaking).

I tend to think about them all very frequently to the point where it's pretty murky in identifying what I naturally gravitate towards. I would assume maybe security since that is where I tend to gather all those thoughts in general. But then the uncompetitive and dauntless aspect of sp 4 doesn't fit me very well, though sp by itself does. So I think I should probably just let it go at this point because I always end up finding objections either way. Yet I always get squeezed back in to this because I'm always trying to figure things out, and end up driving myself bonkers in the process.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I prioritize self-care and have no desire to merge with people if that isn't fulfilled. So I might have answered my own question. Maybe.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

It feels as if I see little to no reason to attach to groups or feel the weight of social structures. I do very poorly with people who do want to impose some sort of dynamic on me in terms of the social, because I'm not inside the structure I'm like an incomprehensible squiggly line next to the structure. I essentially connect with others in a way that doesn't mesh well with social expectations or "normal" reactions as dictated by the aforementioned social structure I can't really pay attention to. I can only really force myself to do things like network, for example, for desire based and practical reasons.

The only time I even mildly try with groups is usually to get close to one or two people, not for allegiance or anything like that.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

You are the most kind sexual 4 I've ever seen.

Apologies if you aren't wanting to hear this, but I really like you and think you deserve to hear it.

I don't get a cut-throat competitive vibe from you, as in "I'm going to be the best at ______ , better than that person over there, because I'm secretly and subconsciously envious of them and have to put myself at #1 in order to push that envy off of myself and project it onto others".
I honestly think I do this more than you do, but still probably not enough to be sexual first.

I do wholeheartedly feel your yearning and disappointment in love though. I don't think any 4 is completely void of that.

thankyou PD

While I have read that competitiveness is correlated with sx-dom and with E4, I think a person can argue that a true focus on originality makes competition meaningless. If a person is seeking authenticity and uniqueness, then competition doesn't make sense because competition has to do with being like others, but better. Being unique is about doing something and being something that you really can't compare to others. Winning a competition is most meaningful and accurate the more easily you can measure the same thing in each attempt like jumping the furthest. A poetry contest becomes more subjective and less accurate about who is the "best".

I think one can also argue that an overwhelming desire for a deep connection also negates competition because competition is oppositional and not connecting. That's how I see it and also why the other descriptions are somewhat confusing to me, but I still identify with those types.

To me it feels like freedom to not have to deal with competition, and my life has been pressured by it and hurt by it, so I also have personal reasons shrink away from it and have no use for it.

 

[misfortuneteller]

I honestly don't know what my first/second instinct is. Saying that i'm a sp/sx is easy for a hermit to say that they are but I did seem to care about being a part of society as a kid.

 

[saskiazaaza]

INFP 4w3
My blindspot is SO

To be honest. I find talk on groups make me uncomfortable and i prefer 1-1 conversation. i'm not aware about social hierarchy and i don't give a fuck about social niceties. And , talk like ' How are you ? ' , ' Where have you been ? ' , make me uncomfortable too.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Look at me...

 

[Neokortex]

INFP 4w3
My blindspot is SO

To be honest. I find talk on groups make me uncomfortable and i prefer 1-1 conversation. i'm not aware about social hierarchy and i don't give a fuck about social niceties. And , talk like ' How are you ? ' , ' Where have you been ? ' , make me uncomfortable too.

who's that on your avatar?
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lol, i didn't expect this forum to be still active. I have just recently reported one of my coworkers to the administration for using the back alley as a pissoir and the resultant pungent smells. The next thing I know, my whole department is mad at me. Call that an So blind spot if you will. Oh, and most people here are just trying to be cool and "not caring" for "social hierarchy." But you know, that's just how the social people signal worth and bond in Western culture where "individualism" is overvalued. But "So blind spot" is not about self-image, is not about not caring what other people think, it's more about the recognition that you indeed care and want to look a certain way, except that you're just too tired to join in the appropriation game that's going on, keeping up with the Joneses and one-upping the other in "autism." But of course, this instance of me butting in with my criticism/insight is also one of competing, of debating away others' viewpoints, so I am being social right now. There is a difference, however, between people who really struggle with autism and people who only pretend they weren't aware of social trends and expectations. And the difference is emotional: people are hiding how much they wanted to fit in. It takes vulnerability to admit that we need others to survive, that all alone, left to our own devices we are weak and exposed. Yes, we are all losers when by ourselves. So our current alienated societies' emergent pattern/culture of connecting w/ people is this: to be unique/original, to be corky, nerdy, slightly eccentric = to stand out without seeming to be desperate to/in need of social capital. There was even a comment done in a GTAV "radio station" by the DJ that today, in the American culture at least, originality is so important that you're not recognized if you don't stand out in some way. It's being socially clumsy, "awkward," being confident in downplaying strength, social assertivity over which people connect nowadays. Could be something we imported from Asian culture (?).

 

[saskiazaaza]

who's that on your avatar?

Liam Gallagher , ex frontman from Oasis

 

[Neokortex]

Liam Gallagher , ex frontman from Oasis

now that's social awareness! You picked an iconic person from the social hierarchy as your avatar!

 

[Luminous]

lol, i didn't expect this forum to be still active.

Damnit! Who left the lights on and the curtains open?! He wasn't supposed to know we're home!

now that's social awareness! You picked an iconic person from the social hierarchy as your avatar!

Clearly you're not even a human judging from your avatar.