[MBTI General] What do you truly think about feelers ?

[nozflubber]

I think that their illogical inductive inferences of where emotion HAS to be (because they process by this primarily, oftentimes this is the ONLY process) are so overactive at times, that they miss the real simplicity of many things (this is best demostrated by watching an NF with their beloved pet, if they are a pet owner.) However, this makes their understanding of people to be biased IMO. Feelers overinfer the existance and prevalence of emotion thusly they overinfer the signifigance of emotion.

 

[juggernaut]

^ Amen!

The assumptions that get made regarding other people's thoughts, motivations, and beliefs are truly mind boggling at times. I know that a purely rational existence is not only impossible, but would be quite awful. The feeling thing, however, looks a lot worse. Feelers have a great deal to offer when it comes to appreciating the things in life that pique our senses or are enriched by an emotional dimension, but I find them really painful to be around when it comes time to buckle down and take care of things. That constant feeling that one must be on guard leaves me wanting to avoid them almost entirely. I don't necessarily dislike them, I just cant'...and don't have any desire to... figure them out.

Very strong or unhealthy feelers are just plain scary. They "look" like crazy people to me. They can say and do things that are just absolutely vicious, but they do it with a smile on their faces and claim to be joking or start bawling when they're called on it. That perplexes me to no end. Balanced feelers that are well-adjusted are a lot of fun however.

 

[Cenomite]

Immature people with intense Fe I usually have a hard time getting along with, because a lot of them think I'm a douchebag (as one put it, after I literally did nothing). Mature ones are cool though, never had an issue.

People with high Fi I can generally get along with fine, probably because I have a very high Fi myself.

The one thing that I do with intense feelers or immature feelers, is to start arguments with them as little as possible. I can't stand trying to argue against somebody's morals with logic, it never works and just ends up pissing me off. Usually it consists of them talking over me by yelling random arguments that make no sense, while I stand there annoyed.

 

[Orangey]

The one thing that I do with intense feelers or immature feelers, is to start arguments with them as little as possible. I can't stand trying to argue against somebody's morals with logic, it never works and just ends up pissing me off. Usually it consists of them talking over me by yelling random arguments that make no sense, while I stand there annoyed.

A recent conversation with my ESFP sister:

Me: [stubbed my toe] Goddammit!
Her: You shouldn't say that...
Me: Why not?
Her: Because you just shouldn't.
Me: You haven't given me a reason.
Her: Just don't. You don't know what will happen.
Me: What do you mean "what will happen?" Do you mean to say that something bad will happen to me if I say it? That God will punish me?
Her: I'm just saying that you don't know in what ways God may be protecting you. So don't say it.
Me: So God will punish me by ceasing to protect me if I say "goddammit?"
Her: No, not punishing, just removing protection. God doesn't punish people like that.
Me: But that *is* a form of punishment. Do not parents often punish their children by removing their privileges?
Her: I know what you're doing. You just want to be rebellious. What have you ever suffered at the hands of Christians to make you so bitter?
Me: Huh? What does that have to do with the conversation?
Her: Because you just think that you're so smart and that you know everything. You don't know everything, so you shouldn't take risks by taking His name in vain. You're just being a pseudo-intellectual.
Me: I quit.
Her: That's because you have no point [insert exasperated half-laugh].

I don't think that this is necessarily typical of all Feelers, but it's what annoys me most about the ones that I've encountered. Also the constant vigilance that you need to practice in order not to hurt their feelings is annoying. Even with the healthy ones, their powers of interpretation tend to work on overdrive when it comes to discerning whether or not something said or done was meant as a personal insult.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I respect and enjoy mature feelers, but I usually can't stand the immature ones!



My sister (ESFJ) is very intruigued by my intellect and being and is extremely curious. She always tries to go through great lengths to try and understand me, but as she asks me questions for clarification, she usually only gets more confused. But she holds a lot of respect for me.

Me and my sister got a very healthy relationship despite out opposite MBTI types.

 

[thisGuy]

its a roller coaster for them to be in a relationship with us NT types

but then they think less and act more leading me to believe that they 'live' every moment to to fullest...especially NFs, i like 'em

 

[Fiver]

It's not that I don't like and respect F, it's just that it can be heaped on me when my inner resources are low. Exhausting.

 

[Oom]

Sometimes I think Feelers appreciate the small things in life more than me.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Sometimes I think Feelers appreciate the small things in life more than me.

Yeap.
I am pretty sure that this is true in almost all cases.

 

[Fiver]

Really? The one closest to me is so caught up in empathizing,body language, and who is feeling what, I'm not sure she notices much else. She is NF tho.

 

[laintpe]

some SFs make me crazy, but NFs and I get along very well... I tend to be a source of entertainment for a few of them.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Really? The one closest to me is so caught up in empathizing,body language, and who is feeling what, I'm not sure she notices much else. She is NF tho.

I have encountered people like this as well and would dare to say this is a trait of unhealthy NFs.

 

[marmandahalf]

<3 NFs. My ENFPs and I have amazing debates because we share a lot of ideas, values, etc. but for completely opposite reasons. So tracing back how we got to a certain point is a fascinating exercise of which we never tire.

 

[EcK]

Yeap.
I am pretty sure that this is true in almost all cases.

Sometimes I think Feelers appreciate the small things in life more than me.

You guys confuse F with E

I mean, most people appreciate the small things in life more than introverted rational conceptualists (intj\intps) that's not really a property of F

 

[marmandahalf]

You guys confuse F with E

I mean, most people appreciate the small things in life more than introverted rational conceptualists (intj\intps) that's not really a property of F

Eh, I would agree with them. That's a giant philosophical diff I've noticed between myself and my ENFP friends. I notice details and use them for analysis. They notice details and are like, "Isn't life great?!"

 

[EcK]

Eh, I would agree with them. That's a giant philosophical diff I've noticed between myself and my ENFP friends. I notice details and use them for analysis. They notice details and are like, "Isn't life great?!"

Dunno, I see the bright\humorous side of pretty much everything. And contrary to most of the feelers I know I don't have thunderous moods\get all negative at times.
Yet I don't have a micro ounce of Fi inside of me.

 

[marmandahalf]

Dunno, I see the bright\humorous side of pretty much everything. And contrary to most of the feelers I know I don't have thunderous moods\get all negative at times.
Yet I don't have a micro ounce of Fi inside of me.

Right, I don't disagree with that statement.

Trite example:
Someone said something about the flowers on my ENFP friend's coffee table. And I mentioned that some flowers have ultraviolet markings that serve as landing pads for pollinators. The ENFP was like, "Yeah, but that doesn't really add or deduce anything from the beauty of the flower." I disagreed. I think knowing the complexity behind something adds to its value, while ENFPs, in my experience, tend to see something's value as more intrinsic, especially when you get to really abstract concepts like beauty and truth.

 

[EcK]

Right, I don't disagree with that statement.

Trite example:
Someone said something about the flowers on my ENFP friend's coffee table. And I mentioned that some flowers have ultraviolet markings that serve as landing pads for pollinators. The ENFP was like, "Yeah, but that doesn't really add or deduce anything from the beauty of the flower." I disagreed. I think knowing the complexity behind something adds to its value, while ENFPs, in my experience, tend to see something's value as more intrinsic, especially when you get to really abstract concepts like beauty and truth.

truth is a stupid concept if u ask me. It tells us more about our evolution than about the universe. But that's off topic
And I agree with both statements as far as multiples views are concerned. But if you go for a relativistic view (meaning everything is connected) then the\this enfp in this case just misses the beauty of all the connections, structures, superstructures one can draw out of the associations between sciences, human objectification, how this fit more general patterns in biology, the creation of structures in the universe's history and so on and ...

Unability to connect and understand both views is just related to someone own mental limitation, so the nf was just being intellectually lazy or shortsighted here.
That's not beauty, that's bliss. As in ignorance is bliss.

It's like loving somebody while ignoring all of their lives and points of view
That's using only one's right brain to judge a thing instead of using both.

That's confusing laudable and laughable

 

[marmandahalf]

truth is a stupid concept if u ask me. It tells us more about our evolution than about the universe. But that's off topic
And I agree with both statements as far as multiples views are concerned. But if you go for a relativistic view (meaning everything is connected) then the\this enfp in this case just misses the beauty of all the connections, structures, superstructures one can draw out of the associations between sciences, human objectification, how this fit more general patterns in biology, the creation of structures in the universe's history and so on and ...

Unability to connect and understand both views is just related to someone own mental limitation, so the nf was just being intellectually lazy or shortsighted here.
That's not beauty, that's bliss. As in ignorance is bliss.

It's like loving somebody while ignoring all of their lives and points of view
That's using only one's right brain to judge a thing instead of using both.

That's confusing laudable and laughable

But it gets billed as "enjoying" life, when such mental shortcuts are taken. Which is silly, because what I enjoy about life is the analysis.

 

[EcK]

But it gets billed as "enjoying" life, when such mental shortcuts are taken. Which is silly, because what I enjoy about life is the analysis.

well of course, behavioristic reinforcement is partially linked with the pleasure centers, and pleasure is rooted in things that help us survive, so, in general terms eating, having sex and problem solving.
When i say problem solving I mean whatever gives us the means to get ressources (as evolution is all about differencial access to ressources).

But then metacognition comes in, and we draw pleasure from concepts. This ability to conceptualise is directly related to our success as a species (let's not get into defining success ).

where was i?
Yeah so anyway, it then all depends on how horizontal or vertical your prefered neural\information pathways are. [right\left cortex chatter via corpus callosum in relation to each brain's vertical cortex\limbic ]
I'm simplifying as always, it's about ratios and the order of passage of informations etc...but I lack information and I'm too lazy to go on