Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What do you dream about? (literal dreams during sleep)

[Peter Deadpan]

I want you to really ask yourself what you dream about at night (or day for you 3rd shifters and vampires). Specifically, I want you to try your best to focus on your feelings during the dream and how the dream itself impacts your sense of well-being. This will probably take some time, so observe your dreams for awhile while you ponder impact and connections.

Here's what I often dream about (this is going to be painfully boring to many of you):
- running late for work
- driving around on chaotic overlapping highways and feeling stressed about missing my turn, and often missing my turn
- having to pee really bad and having my ONLY option be a long row of stalls that for some reason have walls that don't come high enough to obstruct the line of vision between me and those around me, or have no doors, and oftentimes the place is disgusting
- dressing rooms with the above scenario
- some of my most enjoyable dreams have been about sales at clothing stores where I get to pick through cool shit for cheap (I told you this would be boring)
- I almost never dream about sex, and my partner is generally not visible in my dreams but palpable as a supportive character by my side (I occasionally dream about Jilling Off though, and hugs)
- sometimes I have dreams about running from a threatening character who's plan is to kill me, and sometimes they trick me with their identity and I don't find out until after awhile (like a shady sidekick)
- I recently had a dream where I was enjoying having a home with a beautiful large wooden deck with pergola and several ridiculously large luscious plants dangling down from said pergola, and then shortly after I found myself looking off to the horizon and seeing several enormous tree branches flying toward me from the distance, spinning wildly as if a tornado was approaching, and my entire focus became getting back to the door of my home for safety

I have relatively boring dreams compared to many. I never have apocalyptic dreams and rarely have sex dreams (like my S.O. does alllllll the time), and I never dream about friends or family (except very rare occasions with family, and primarily my children, or possibly a deranged and dangerous version of my deceased father).

Upon deep reflection and perhaps a bit of an "Aha!" moment, I realized that my dreams are painfully centered around self-preservation. They always involve commodities such as time and money, or more overtly - feelings of insecurity. A deficit of a commodity causes me great distress but also a desire to hide and manage that distress (countertype 4 image control, perhaps?), and a surplus of commodity is pleasurable for me (I mean... who fucking enjoys dreams about clothing sales???). My dreams never give me a sense of excitement, but rather either panic/stress or a sense of calm and well-being. There is never a sense of fiery connection between myself and another, or a sense of community (ha... hahaha.... ha.... no), but I frequently enjoy a parallel companionship, which as I mentioned is typically sort of an off-camera role but nevertheless sensed.

Sooooo.... what I really wanna know is: "What do you dream about and how does that reflect your instinctual variants?"

And if you notice a rift between your dreams and instincts, it is my opinion that you should re-assess your instinctual subtypes. My reasoning behind this is that instincts are our most deeply immovable survival motivators, and it stands to reason that we dream to process and reconcile the differences between our needs and reality. It's really easy to look up at the beauty and wonder of a grand oak tree, but it's much harder to observe the roots grounding it below.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I've spoken about this a bit with my partner, who is probably Sx-first, and he stated that even his apocalyptic dreams are energizing and satisfying to him. I am kinda jealous (fuck you, I can still randomly voice envy) that he gets to have such exciting dreams. I remember once being aware that I was dreaming, and I took that moment to reach my hand out and touch the flowers on the bush next to me, then quickly lost the moment and transitioned back into oblivious Dreamland and proceeded to get lost while walking in uncomfortable shoes at midnight alone or some shit (I'm pretty sure that's actually what happened).

 

[Luminous]

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I have those bathroom dreams too. So often. It's the most frequent dream I have that I remember. I don't usually feel like I have to pee that bad, but for some reason I'll be in a bathroom. Most of the time with many stalls, sometimes as you say, they aren't tall enough. Or it might be a bathroom/gym area where there are bathtubs and showers, and toilet after toilet after toilet. I seriously got really excited when I saw you have these kinds of dreams too. And I can't emphasize enough how large some of the bathrooms are in these dreams, they are seemingly unending.

And I also dream about shopping, though with mine, it's usually more window type shopping where I don't think I ever buy anything. I just stroll and look. I was wondering if this was a Ne thing... a kind of exploring...

And I don't dream about sex that much either. Sigh. Occasionally. Half of those are probably partner-less scenarios. lol Some of them involve people who don't exist, some people who do. And I've had *waits for you to gag* a dream that was a lot like a movie scene where lovers twirl around...

I will dream about people from the past quite often, people I have or had strong feelings for, friends I haven't seen in a long time. I will sometimes dream about protecting animals. Or about animals I have or had close bonds with. Or animals that don't even exist (I drempt I had a puppy last night). And I have dreams where I am closer to some people than I am in waking life... so I guess I do dream about bonding.

And I also dream about running late. It's usually for a final or big test in college... where I've overslept, often by an absurd amount of time, like 8 hours or something... but I was attributing that to the fact that I am not a morning person, have a difficult time getting out of bed, and so have a legitimate worry about being late for important things.

I once had a dream where the man I was sharing my bed with and I were in a building that had beams on the ceiling and one was going to fall and I, asleep, pointed and yelled Watch Out! which he found highly amusing. My worst nightmares involve someone hovering over me. Those would be the handful of times I screamed out loud in my sleep.

The funniest dream I can remember was a dog who barked the William Tell Overture. The audience gave him a standing ovation and he came back and performed it again as an encore.

 

[Hiraeth]

Type 4, and thinking the social instinct. I tend to forget my dreams fairly quickly, so I like to keep a dream journal for the times I actually do remember them so I can study them further and decipher the symbolic content in them. I've noticed that I can remember pretty vivid details about my dreams when they are fresh in my mind and can spend pages writing them all out.

Based on my journal entries, I've noticed a pattern where most of my dreams are based on past experiences and reliving them in a different scenario, or me being younger in general, but a few were about the distant future. Almost all contained family members or friends. I had a few where they hinted at something in the future that came true. Many also revolve around secret concerns of mine that are uncovered in the dream itself, mostly pertaining to the future too, but also to not fulfilling certain aspects that I should as a person my age, or wishing I had done something else in my past to ward off guilt. I honestly have no idea what instinct this can be defined as, but I know it's not sx-first, as I very rarely have romantic dreams or ones with a super intense atmosphere in general.

I also never have nightmares or action-oriented dreams where I know I'm flying, falling, etc. They are pretty mundane for the most part, but I do have some that are utterly absurd and a bit surreal -- i.e. being followed by zombie robots in a haunted mansion headed by an Aleister Crowley dark magician/cult leader type, trying to care for a human baby with tadpole-like limbs interchanging from its normal human limbs, etc.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Dreams are something I've been working on for a number of years. I'm of such an age where the patterns are starting to become distinct...and I see dreams as a barometer of my inner state. Here are some things.

- First, I'm always a 7w8 in my dreams, and I'm not sure why.

- For about my first 28 years, I always had dreams I was running. Every single night. These were generally good dreams because at some point, I'd start to fly and the whole thing became fun. I can never remember what sparked the incident, but I would inevitably start running from my house, escaping either by jumping the fence in the back yard, or by running out the front door. When I was living at home, I used to get trapped in the telephone wires if I tried to fly; when I moved out, they disappeared.

When I did some digging after my mother abandoned me, I came to the conclusion that I was running from the horror of secretly sensing my mother was apathetic towards me. And surely enough, the dreams stopped. So now I don't have to run, but I also don't get to fly. I really enjoyed those dreams. Flying was winning.

- There's a map of the town I was raised in. My house, the roads surrounding my house, the state capital which, for some reason is accessible by train. The gas station at the bottom of the hill. My middle school (I guess this is when this map was consolidated). My grandmother's neighborhood, which is atop a cliff (it's on a hill irl). This dreamtown for some reason has outer limits that I am unable to cross, and I'm not sure why.

- My grandmother's house had these woods behind it irl, and they're there in my dreams sometimes too. I've come to associate the house with "roots", meaning my early childhood and family and heritage and stuff. The woods behind the house are my subconscious, which I basically found out when I started working on enneagram (long boring stories as to how I know this stuff, will spare you).

- I sometimes have dreams that it's winter/early spring, and I go into my garden and all the plants and flowers are starting to grow again, except they're plants that are way better than normal. Other times, I have dreams that I'm in a pet shop and all these adorable...well, they're usually rats, but sometimes mice or bunnies, or some sort of multipurpose adorable small animals...that are multi-colored and have little babies with them...and I get to take care of them. Still trying to crack that one, but it has something to do with the life force.

- I sometimes have dreams I'm going to some exotic location that's way more awesome than it is irl. Like I visited Yemen one time, and then spent years dreaming about going to Yemen, except it was always lush and green with this huge colonial manor and I was always going to study there lol. Then it became Indonesia after I went to Cambodia. I'm always really excited in these dreams, it's like dreaming of the literal spirit of adventure.

- Sometimes I'm trying to take pictures of things, which usually works, except then I wake up and I'm mad as hell that I lost the images.

- I have tornado dreams sometimes too; in my case it represents my fears.

- I pretty much never have sex dreams, either, which I assume is because I am open with myself about my feelings during my waking hours, idk.

- And I've not spoken to anyone who doesn't have the toilet dreams. I just had that one the other day, myself. I think it's something cultural.

- Other than the above patterns, my dreams tend to be vivid and pretty awesome. Not usually apocalyptic.

Idk what that says about my instincts. I've thought about this before, and can't determine a pattern. It's nothing specifically to do with being sx-first...I don't think...is it? Idk. I've had one dream in my life that specifically revolved around that. I basically dreamed that I looked out, and literally everyone else n my life had found a partner, and I had this crushing sense of despair (the pure unbridled emotion you can only feel in your dreams) because I was left out, and I knew it would come true irl (which it did). Then the scene changed, and I was floating on an inner tube somewhere in the south Pacific, and I realized I was going to travel instead, and this would somehow make it up to me. This part basically came true, too, except traveling made me life far worse than it had to be.

But that's it.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Dreams are something I've been working on for a number of years. I'm of such an age where the patterns are starting to become distinct...and I see dreams as a barometer of my inner state. Here are some things.

- First, I'm always a 7w8 in my dreams, and I'm not sure why.

- For about my first 28 years, I always had dreams I was running. Every single night. These were generally good dreams because at some point, I'd start to fly and the whole thing became fun. I can never remember what sparked the incident, but I would inevitably start running from my house, escaping either by jumping the fence in the back yard, or by running out the front door. When I was living at home, I used to get trapped in the telephone wires if I tried to fly; when I moved out, they disappeared.

When I did some digging after my mother abandoned me, I came to the conclusion that I was running from the horror of secretly sensing my mother was apathetic towards me. And surely enough, the dreams stopped. So now I don't have to run, but I also don't get to fly. I really enjoyed those dreams. Flying was winning.

- There's a map of the town I was raised in. My house, the roads surrounding my house, the state capital which, for some reason is accessible by train. The gas station at the bottom of the hill. My middle school (I guess this is when this map was consolidated). My grandmother's neighborhood, which is atop a cliff (it's on a hill irl). This dreamtown for some reason has outer limits that I am unable to cross, and I'm not sure why.

- My grandmother's house had these woods behind it irl, and they're there in my dreams sometimes too. I've come to associate the house with "roots", meaning my early childhood and family and heritage and stuff. The woods behind the house are my subconscious, which I basically found out when I started working on enneagram (long boring stories as to how I know this stuff, will spare you).

- I sometimes have dreams that it's winter/early spring, and I go into my garden and all the plants and flowers are starting to grow again, except they're plants that are way better than normal. Other times, I have dreams that I'm in a pet shop and all these adorable...well, they're usually rats, but sometimes mice or bunnies, or some sort of multipurpose adorable small animals...that are multi-colored and have little babies with them...and I get to take care of them. Still trying to crack that one, but it has something to do with the life force.

- I sometimes have dreams I'm going to some exotic location that's way more awesome than it is irl. Like I visited Yemen one time, and then spent years dreaming about going to Yemen, except it was always lush and green with this huge colonial manor and I was always going to study there lol. Then it became Indonesia after I went to Cambodia. I'm always really excited in these dreams, it's like dreaming of the literal spirit of adventure.

- Sometimes I'm trying to take pictures of things, which usually works, except then I wake up and I'm mad as hell that I lost the images.

- I have tornado dreams sometimes too; in my case it represents my fears.

- I pretty much never have sex dreams, either, which I assume is because I am open with myself about my feelings during my waking hours, idk.

- And I've not spoken to anyone who doesn't have the toilet dreams. I just had that one the other day, myself. I think it's something cultural.

- Other than the above patterns, my dreams tend to be vivid and pretty awesome. Not usually apocalyptic.

Idk what that says about my instincts. I've thought about this before, and can't determine a pattern. It's nothing specifically to do with being sx-first...I don't think...is it? Idk. I've had one dream in my life that specifically revolved around that. I basically dreamed that I looked out, and literally everyone else n my life had found a partner, and I had this crushing sense of despair (the pure unbridled emotion you can only feel in your dreams) because I was left out, and I knew it would come true irl (which it did). Then the scene changed, and I was floating on an inner tube somewhere in the south Pacific, and I realized I was going to travel instead, and this would somehow make it up to me. This part basically came true, too, except traveling made me life far worse than it had to be.

But that's it.

I think some of the intensity of Sx is showing up in your dreams (the flying is a good example of that).

 

[neko 4]

Common dreams:
I'm on a family vacation and something goes wrong.
I'm at the pet store where I help the rescue cats and something goes wrong.
I'm finding fashion magazines (I collect the pictures, so this is a good dream).
I'm in grade school. I used to dream that I was stuck in regular school, but my dreams have changed to me going to alternative high school (which is where I really went).

 

[Luminous]

I should add to mine that I am occasionally angry at someone in my dreams. Generally not for irl reasons, but the anger feels the same.

 

[Lark]

I took a sleep earlier today and I dreamt about a tankard which was always full of beer and no matter how much I drank it it was always refilled with whatever I wanted to drink.

 

[Qlip]

I'd say most of my dreams are somewhat surrealistic. I had a dream with an odd sequence today where I rollerbladed in the alleys of a subterranean city avoiding dogs eating freshly killed bunnies. In the past I had some strong themes, but not so much anymore. They used to be:

Being back in High School and not understanding why, and not knowing where any of my classes are.
Trying to phone a loved one, but completely unable to operate a phone dial. Usually a payphone.
Going to a public space without any shoes on and only realizing it when I'm there.
Attempting to tie my shoelaces, but them breaking.

I guess I have some sort of shoe thing going on. And no, no sex dreams.

 

[cascadeco]

Ooh, cool topic.

I feel like there have been times past where I have dreamt more often or more .... interestingly... than I have in recent years, and also I might go in phases (prob tied to emotional state as well as overall amount of sleep over the time period or on a given night, etc).

A few more 'common' patterned ones that aren't full-blown dreams per se but what I'll call sensory elements of dreams that can repeat -
*I will have peeing dreams but not normal ones, they're ones where I'm in terms of sensations in a slow-motion or completely drunken state, with little control of my body and limbs, like falling down onto the toilet or off the side of the toilet, etc, trying to grasp onto things so I don't fall onto the toilet. I really don't know what this means other than possible sensory recollections from college when I *was* really drunk on a few occasions. Also I am pretty phobic about touching any surface in public restrooms in general, so it probably has ties to that, ie 'omg noooooo I can't touch the toilet seat or floor with my bare skin dread horror' haha
*I also occasionally have a dream where I've got like endless amounts of chewing gum stuck in my mouth and I'm having to try to extract it with my fingers, it's totally gross, and the thing about my dreams is that they must be semi-lucid because I actually have the physical sensations, so when I have this dream it is really, really unpleasant.

I sure *wish* I had sex dreams more often that I do, but I do have them on occasion and I enjoy them a lot, usually, due to semi-lucid actually feeling things and being able to control how the dream proceeds, to a degree

I used to have more fantastical type dreams more often, occasionally flying or running away from bad guys through neighborhoods (I also recall one time actually dying, and then I immediately woke up, and when it happened in the dream I remember thinking it was very odd because one isn't 'supposed' to die in dreams, haha), some very color-rich landscapes, sometimes I must be trying to take photographs so I see things zooming in, etc. I have had some cool tornado dreams in the past, but they tend to be more cinematic vs 'terror'/close by. I have probably only had a few true nightmares in my lifetime; typically though even in a more 'scary' dream I am not scared per se -- ie being chased by bad guys, I don't really view those dreams as nightmares. It may be partly because they're lucid, though, so I am kind of making choices, if that makes sense, vs things just happening to me. It ends up being more of a game/challenge/rush, I suppose.

That's it for now; I might think of more later.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I actually came back here to say this exact thing:

I also occasionally have a dream where I've got like endless amounts of chewing gum stuck in my mouth and I'm having to try to extract it with my fingers, it's totally gross, and the thing about my dreams is that they must be semi-lucid because I actually have the physical sensations, so when I have this dream it is really, really unpleasant.

Except it's usually not gum, per say. It's most often an unidentified substance, or food, or even puke. I am unable to spit ANY out, so I'm just digging and clawing it out.

I also used to have dreams where I'd be unable to walk. I'd just be trying to cross the street and my feet would move like 1 inch and then I'd just get no where.

My least favorite dreams were where I'd just shoot straight up into the air like 50 feet, then fall toward the ground quickly. I'd never hit the ground, I'd just shoot up into the air and fall over and over again.

It's been awhile since I had any of those dreams, but I did lose several teeth in one recently. I find those to be the most vivid and realistic ones I ever have and am always relieved to wake up with a mouth full of teeth.

 

[rav3n]

Sex dreams aren't really about sex. They're about intimacy and connection. That's why people sometimes dream about having sex with someone they're in conflict with and/or dislike. It's the mind wanting to find a connection with the other person, so hostilities are dialed down.

 

[cascadeco]

Sex dreams aren't really about sex. They're about intimacy and connection. That's why people sometimes dream about having sex with someone they're in conflict with and/or dislike. It's the mind wanting to find a connection with the other person, so hostilities are dialed down.

Except when they are. haha j/k I imagine it is more about intimacy and connection.

Except it's usually not gum, per say. It's most often an unidentified substance, or food, or even puke. I am unable to spit ANY out, so I'm just digging and clawing it out.

I have to admit I'm really surprised someone else has this repeating dream, I hate it so much and haven't run across anyone else who's had similar. And yes, it's totally like clawing it out.

 

[1487610420]

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Sex dreams aren't really about sex. They're about intimacy and connection. That's why people sometimes dream about having sex with someone they're in conflict with and/or dislike. It's the mind wanting to find a connection with the other person, so hostilities are dialed down.

That's why I have dreams about hugging or just a general supportive presence.

I used to dream about an old flame whenever my relationships were lacking. It was very comforting. I haven't done this with my current S.O. and he's in many of my dreams, which is a new experience for me.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Except when they are. haha j/k I imagine it is more about intimacy and connection.


I have to admit I'm really surprised someone else has this repeating dream, I hate it so much and haven't run across anyone else who's had similar. And yes, it's totally like clawing it out.

I HAVE THIS DREAM TOO.

It started one time when I chewed gum so long IRL that it disintegrated in my mouth and then it was all gross and ew and it wouldn't work free from my teeth. So now condemned to nightmares about it lol. Every time I have this dream I wake up feeling sick. And one time it wasn't gum, it was glass. Ffs.

Ftr, I still can't chew gum to this day.

 

[cascadeco]

I HAVE THIS DREAM TOO.

It started one time when I chewed gum so long IRL that it disintegrated in my mouth and then it was all gross and ew and it wouldn't work free from my teeth. So now condemned to nightmares about it lol. Every time I have this dream I wake up feeling sick. And one time it wasn't gum, it was glass. Ffs.

Ftr, I still can't chew gum to this day.

Interesting. Apparently it's not uncommon. Who knew!

 

[Lark]

I wonder would anyone like to hear some of the terrible nightmares that interfere with my ability to sleep?

I'm not sure you guys want to share the PTSD like symptoms though

 

[1487610420]

I wonder would anyone like to hear some of the terrible nightmares that interfere with my ability to sleep?

I'm not sure you guys want to share the PTSD like symptoms though