Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts The seduction styles of various enneagram variant combos

[Population: 1]

Those seem to be sound observations. Although I have to laugh at the idea of me being capable of seduction. I screw up basic flirtation! I would engage someone one on one because it’s a social interaction and I like all my social interactions to be in small groups or one on one.

 

[notmyapples]

I am sx/so and I notice that I tend to test the waters a bit before I really begin flirting. If I feel like my advances might possibly be reciprocated, I feel much more comfortable subtly expressing my interest towards a person or doing some back and forth. I don't play around for too long though, I either like you or I don't, if the person I am attracted to tries to turn it into a chase then I will quickly lose interest. I'll freely send signals but unless I'm 100% certain that the other person returns my affections, I will not confess or confront them in any way that resembles aggression or dominance. But my behavior can do a bit of a 180 if I feel like my affections are returned, so it's hard to say.

I do zero in on people though. My attention is either all on you or not on you at all. Some people really like this, others can find it intimidating earlier in the relationship so I put in effort to dial it back if I'm not sure which side they lean towards. It's funny because I am a relatively timid person in all other areas of life, but I highly value directness when it involves romantic pursuit or relationships. I suppose that's what some find shocking. I am better at making others pursue me than pursuing others myself. The tiger hunting prey example could work for me if you frame it as 'the tiger coercing the prey into it's mouth'.

 

[Metis]

Those seem to be sound observations. Although I have to laugh at the idea of me being capable of seduction. I screw up basic flirtation! I would engage someone one on one because it’s a social interaction and I like all my social interactions to be in small groups or one on one.

What?!

Population: 1: You're cute.

Cutie: Um, *giggle, sideways-eye-shift*, thank you?

Population: 1: *scratches head* Sorry, I'm not that good at flirting. *LOL* I'm a little stuck.

Cutie: *LOL* So... What do you do?

Population: 1: I (post on an internet forum called TypologyCentral, or whatever you really do). What do you do?

Cutie: I'm a dentist.

Population: 1: Dentists are the best!

Cutie: Yeah, I have two kids from my first marriage, and dentistry pays the bills. Plus, I get to help people stay healthy and remind them to brush and floss their teeth.

Population: 1: Would you like to have coffee with me on your day off?

Cutie: Oh, sure, let me give you my number, and you give me yours, and I'll let you know when I have a day free that we can get together. You seem like an interesting guy.

Population: 1: *bashful LOL*

Cutie: BTW, what's your name?

Population: 1: Bill McGillicuddy. What's your name, sorry, I forgot to ask. *awkward blush*

Cutie: *LOL* Belinda Carlisle. Here's my number, Bill. It was nice meeting you. *Hug*awkward, polite laugh*walk away with glance backward and a laugh*


So, nothing wrong with being awkward, if that's the problem. Just be direct so the person knows that you're interested. If s/he tells you to fuck off, then all you have to do is blow off the encounter and find another cutie.

 

[Metis]

Combo of these two:

Sp/sx and sx/sp

The sexual/self-preservation and self-preservation/sexual types tend to have a very one on one style of seduction. Many times they don't like to seduce people through social groups. However sometimes in a social group they will pull aside a person away from everyone else and have a one on one interaction with an individual. It should be well noted that the sx/sp and sp/sx styles of seductions almost always work best one on one. They will quickly create an intense bond between just them and the other individual. The sx/sp and sp/sx style of seduction tends to be very subtle as well and doesn't really come off as in your face.

Sx/so

The sexual/social style of seduction is almost like a tiger hunting for prey. The sexual/social style of seduction is very direct and in your face. There is no confusion as to what the sx/so is after. The sx/so style of seduction can either come off as extremely sexy or down-right creepy. With this style of seduction the individual in question goes to a social group and basically steals people out of that social group and makes their own group. Also, they can infiltrate the social group and work through the group to seduce the individual.​

 

[bluejay]

from afar: oh now you're curious..

from first meeting VERY shortly after: BAM. Something from behind the eyes.. "aha... now, now.... there you are..." a suspension of breath. An urge... then it becomes like "more"

Never experienced it any other way. No words, no seducing/flirting. It's there or it's not.

(All the "dancing" happens on a very unconscious level before and after the "aha moment"... the sexual display and receivers are on auto-pilot, it's very refined /attuned signals all around ... everyones going about their day, then there's that "sniff sniff.. " what's that smell and ooooh... whose this?? then the eyes meet or they are lowered and then it's on.... )

 

[Venus Rose]

Well, all SX-firsts have a "one on one style of seduction," and I also disagree with the over-the-top description for Sx/So. Over-the-topness is based on personality not instincts; while being passionate and engaging in a way where you leave your personal signature on everything is based on instinct.

But I see that you tried to pull in the second instinct into how it is used in 'seduction' so to that end: Both Sx firsts are going to be focused 'one-on-one' in their pursuit or seduction. The Sx/So is going to be attuned to their 'social stock' as someone who is passionate, engaging, etc. (whatever their good qualities might be) and therefore attractive. They will be aware that they stand out, in a good way (sometimes provocative), and they like that. So their seduction will make use of this 'charm' though in the end they will be seducing through revealing of the self, baring yourself (as do all humans but in SX first there is thirst to get there almost immediately while others might be more careful).

Sx/Sp is not going to care very much for their social stock or their charm as perceived by the group. Both Sx types "take the individual away from the group" but with Sx/Sp their manner of dismissing the group is going to come across as more abrupt/rude etc. I wish I had more to say on this but unfortunately SP is my last instinct. Others can feel free to chime in if they wish.

 

[The Cat]

So/sx

The social/sexual style of seduction also works through the group. However, many times they will want to seduce individuals through the usage of groups. Many times they will try to be liked by the group and win the admiration of the group, and then win the individual that they want to seduce that way. Also, they often enjoy a fairly small group to hang out with as well.

 

[Metis]

So/sx

The social/sexual style of seduction also works through the group. However, many times they will want to seduce individuals through the usage of groups. Many times they will try to be liked by the group and win the admiration of the group, and then win the individual that they want to seduce that way. Also, they often enjoy a fairly small group to hang out with as well.

In other words, you're using us to impress your target.

 

[The Cat]

In other words, you're using us to impress your target.

Can't I just be using you because I like you? You know like friends do?

 

[Metis]

Can't I just be using you because I like you? You know like friends do?

Friends like who? Montel?

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Do not relate. To any.

 

[Luminous]

In other words, you're using us to impress your target.

Can't I just be using you because I like you? You know like friends do?

It's the sx firsts who would be more likely to join a group to find/seduce someone, then drop/ignore/forget about/neglect the group once that was accomplished.

 

[Metis]

It's the sx firsts who would be more likely to join a group to find/seduce someone, then drop/ignore/forget about/neglect the group once that was accomplished.

Ok. So who are you using us to impress?

 

[Metis]

For the record, I'm not using you weirdos to impress anyone. I don't do online relationships. I'm here because of my self-preservation instinct.

 

[rav3n]

As an sx/sp or sp/sx, seduction isn't my thing. Instead, I rely on other parties to approach and then engage in a friendly way, presuming friendliness unless they express otherwise. If I approach anyone, it's purely from a platonic perspective. It's exceedingly rare that I'm attracted to someone before they've expressed their attraction since it takes a lot of exposure for my attraction to be triggered. I can recall one, sort of two incidents in my entire life where I approached first from the perspective of truly being attracted. So maybe sp/sx is a better fit for me, although it's not self-protection that causes the lack of instantaneous non-platonic interest.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

As an sx/sp or sp/sx, seduction isn't my thing. Instead, I rely on other parties to approach and then engage in a friendly way, presuming friendliness unless they express otherwise. If I approach anyone, it's purely from a platonic perspective. It's exceedingly rare that I'm attracted to someone before they've expressed their attraction since it takes a lot of exposure for my attraction to be triggered. I can recall one, sort of two incidents in my entire life where I approached first from the perspective of truly being attracted. So maybe sp/sx is a better fit for me, although it's not self-protection that causes the lack of instantaneous non-platonic interest.

This is very relatable. I don't think this is abnormal at all for sx/sp considering we're the IV that seems most sensitive to and selective about connections.

Once someone here told me they think I'm sp/sx because I am percieved by them as cautious in my connections (well, to sx/so I see why I could be misinterpreted that way). In reality, when I have felt connected to people here I have pursued being closer to them despite being fully aware that it would end painfully and feeling conflicted about not being able to connect freely as I most instinctively feel compelled to for other reasons. It is not because I am cautious about connection forming that I most often do not approach others, but because almost unconciously I filter out the many lukewarm connections I could have with most people as not worth the effort in terms of not paying off. Although with other women I feel legitimately cautious and all things sp, it's very uncharacteristic for me and is entirely about other issues. I am usually a pushy merger.

Anyway, the fact that this was overall framed and approached from the underlying tone of connection/attraction makes me think your sx/sp is correct. I think sp/sx would not be one to mention or dwell on connection but rather speak to more concrete concerns about why they don't pursue others. I feel like part of the "phenomenal" nature of (in some instances, the word true should come before) attraction seen in sx/sp is how rare it is for us.

 

[Venus Rose]

I think I have commented on this before, but after further reflection, I also wanted to add a few things:

Sx/so

The sexual/social style of seduction is almost like a tiger hunting for prey. The sexual/social style of seduction is very direct and in your face.

I get what this is trying to say, in that I have actually ended up almost always establishing first contact with someone I was attracted to. That is, I pretty blatantly "pursued" them, at least in the very beginning. After that, of course, things can become more balanced, ideally.

Example, when I was about 12, I told my crush that I liked him. I needed to tell him! My friends pulled me aside one day and they said "wow, that's really brave. I cannot do that." I was very confused, because the only alternative would have been to NOT tell him and that never appeared as an option in my mind...
Of course, I was also a child, and my 'approach' more unsubtle I guess, naive, straightforward. But one thing I cannot do, is to never try to get close to someone I am attracted to. To watch them from afar or something. That has just never happened.

But I am also not direct in the Se sense, I cannot force anyone, have a rather "soft" vibe compared to Se egos.

There is no confusion as to what the sx/so is after.

makes sense

The sx/so style of seduction can either come off as extremely sexy or down-right creepy. With this style of seduction the individual in question goes to a social group and basically steals people out of that social group and makes their own group. Also, they can infiltrate the social group and work through the group to seduce the individual.

I am however, a little confused on the "social groups" part. To me, the group does not matter once I have the attention of the individual. I don't think I use to group to "seduce" them or anything. In fact, I don't think I flirt, my interest is sincere and serious.

I am just not focused on any "group" when I have my eyes set on someone. I pretty much don't really see anything else. I want to talk to them one on one.

 

[The Cat]

Sx/so

The sexual/social style of seduction is almost like a tiger hunting for prey. The sexual/social style of seduction is very direct and in your face. There is no confusion as to what the sx/so is after. The sx/so style of seduction can either come off as extremely sexy or down-right creepy. With this style of seduction the individual in question goes to a social group and basically steals people out of that social group and makes their own group. Also, they can infiltrate the social group and work through the group to seduce the individual.

So/sx

The social/sexual style of seduction also works through the group. However, many times they will want to seduce individuals through the usage of groups. Many times they will try to be liked by the group and win the admiration of the group, and then win the individual that they want to seduce that way. Also, they often enjoy a fairly small group to hang out with as well.


hmmmm....

 

[cascadeco]

I have never really wanted to 'become part of a group' or worked towards gaining respect or influence or acknowledgment from a group as a whole, or any such thing - that's never been a motivation for me. So there's little to no underlying drive for me working towards any group influence. I've only ever been interested in individuals and any time I am in a group yes, I'll totally pull those aside or attempt to only interact with one or some people. If I happen to see 'potential' with someone I'll target them and ask questions and such.

With the opposite sex yes, I can see how I could come across in a little too excitable or eager way early on (I mean... assuming I see a potential. If I don't see that, I come across starkly opposite). But I never want to force anything; it's more.. putting out feelers or sometimes blatantly showing interest. It usually or almost always flops - in the sense of not building and reaching a stopping point. I can't say doing this or being this way has actually amounted to much of anything in the past; I mean, so many things on both ends need to be present for anything to amount to something... and you only really know that with time, anyway.

I'm starting to drop really active pursuing though and now in the future would just prefer to wait for reciprocation or just not even bother instigating anymore, waiting for others to actually show interest in me first. I've historically been The Initiator simply because I'm pretty quiet and no one's going to have much to go on anyway, thus why would anyone pursue the quiet unapproachable person. Also, I'd rather just be open about it and see where the chips fall - there's no point in playing a long waiting game if I know I like someone, and at this point in life I don't have much or any real belief of reciprocation (true connection/reciprocation/mutual desire is exceedingly rare) so there's not a whole lot to lose. Given all of that, sp/sx, sx/sp, or sx/so would fit me, based on OP descriptions. The few times long ago I actually tried random groups, it was always with the hope of meeting someone(s) in particular. The group was just a means to an end. I had a desired wish/hope, which was to meet people I actually liked, and the group was the only means to try to meet people.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Sp/sx and sx/sp​

The sexual/self-preservation and self-preservation/sexual types tend to have a very one on one style of seduction. Many times they don't like to seduce people through social groups. However sometimes in a social group they will pull aside a person away from everyone else and have a one on one interaction with an individual. It should be well noted that the sx/sp and sp/sx styles of seductions almost always work best one on one. They will quickly create an intense bond between just them and the other individual. The sx/sp and sp/sx style of seduction tends to be very subtle as well and doesn't really come off as in your face.

This does resonate with me, but I think my approach is also influenced by E4. I'm lost in a group entirely, and it alienates me from being able to form any intimacy because I can't deal with different levels of intimacy at the same time. I always seek out a way to connect individually. I don't start with an expression of sexual attraction, but find a way to do something together that is unique to both of us, that defines something about both of us. For as shy and introverted as I am, I do end up communicating my intentions clearly by giving unique and deep compliments. Then I often give the person space to reflect on the compliment. I've ended up doing the majority of the seducing in my relationships, even initially, but I would have preferred it the other way. I like to see in someone what others can't see, and desire that in return. For being as obliterated as I am, I still do have a lot of intensely private, quiet, but persistently seductive tendencies. I desire connections that are deeper, more unique, and quietly overwhelming than anything experienced before. I also tend to get intensely hurt in the process, but hide most of that. Every intimate relationship caused me to cry uncontrollably at times, mostly in private, from its beginning, middle, and end. And then I did it all again.