the Journey into Thinking

[FFF]

As a kid I was pretty emotional, but as I progressed from 14 onward, I seemed to get flatter and flatter emotionally until I ended up as my usually cold, unfeeling extremely T type self.

Has anyone else ever reflected on this and wondered what it might be like to be an emotional F ball where you don't have to make the descent (or ascent if you prefer) into T land after childhood. I guess that is assuming all T types take this journey.

 

[Totenkindly]

It sounds interesting.

I don't ever remember making a descent/ascent into T-Land, though. I was always there to start with, in terms of what I allowed people to see of my inner workings.

There was a point where I actively chose to stop crying. But otherwise? Always internalized.

My INTP son was doing this when he was three: He'd start to smile at something, then you could literally watch him shove it back down to present a flat neutral face to the world. It was hilarious (and a little sad).

 

[FFF]

It sounds interesting.

I don't ever remember making a descent/ascent into T-Land, though. I was always there to start with, in terms of what I allowed people to see of my inner workings.

There was a point where I actively chose to stop crying. But otherwise? Always internalized.

My INTP son was doing this when he was three: He'd start to smile at something, then you could literally watch him shove it back down to present a flat neutral face to the world. It was hilarious (and a little sad).

I wonder if I'm an INFP forced into emotional flatness. Then I wonder if that explains all INTP type nines. I'm the youngest child, and at home I was surrounded by 3 NT guys and never had a good relationship with my ESFJ mom.

 

[Totenkindly]

I wonder if I'm an INFP forced into emotional flatness. Then I wonder if that explains all INTP type nines. I'm the youngest child, and at home I was surrounded by 3 NT guys and never had a good relationship with my ESFJ mom.

It is worth exploring.

Did you feel ashamed for expressing your feelings, commonly, when you were growing up?

How did your brothers view your mother? (Respect her? Dislike her? Make fun of her behind her back?)

Did you spend lots of time with your brothers, and did they have negative reactions to your feeling expressions?

(Those are a few questions to start things off with something like this...)

 

[rivercrow]

I often describe myself as "having had the F beaten out of me" as a kid.

Mom tells me I was always very logical as a kid. I think this is one of the reasons why dad and I get along.

 

[FFF]

It is worth exploring.

Did you feel ashamed for expressing your feelings, commonly, when you were growing up?

How did your brothers view your mother? (Respect her? Dislike her? Make fun of her behind her back?)

Did you spend lots of time with your brothers, and did they have negative reactions to your feeling expressions?

(Those are a few questions to start things off with something like this...)

Actually, I didn't express feelings because I felt it wasn't safe to do so.

Mom was viewed as someone who could become crazy and irrational at any moment.

I spent a lot of time with one of my brothers, mostly just playing video games and stuff like that. This same brother was often very critical and arrogant, though.

These days, the INTP profiles fit me very well, but I don't think they would've applied until I was about 15 or 16.

 

[Jezebel]

I was a very T child. I remember feeling humiliated if I showed emotion, often even if it was positive. I lived alone with my father between the ages of 3 and 12. I don't know if that had anything to do with it though as he is actually very F. He often gave me a hard time about being cold and unloving, and I viewed him as too moody and inconsistent. We had lots of fights with me questioning his reasoning and him not giving me satisfactory answers. We were often flustered with each other.

I'm more comfortable with my feeling side now than I was when I was younger. It's been a conscious effort though, and hormones have probably affected me too.

 

[FFF]

I was a very T child. I remember feeling humiliated if I showed emotion, often even if it was positive. I lived alone with my father between the ages of 3 and 12. I don't know if that had anything to do with it though as he is actually very F. He often gave me a time about being cold and unloving, and I viewed him as too moody and inconsistent. We had lots of fights with me questioning his reasoning and him not giving me satisfactory answers. We were often flustered with each other.

I'm more comfortable with my feeling side now than I was when I was younger. It's been a conscious effort though, and hormones have probably affected me too.

You just reminded me that I was uncomfortable with showing almost any emotion, even positive ones for fear of being criticized. I didn't really know that kids could be unemotoinal T types. I never really got to be around kids much any time in my life.

 

[Dufresne]

As a kid I was pretty emotional, but as I progressed from 14 onward, I seemed to get flatter and flatter emotionally until I ended up as my usually cold, unfeeling extremely T type self.

You have probably heard this before or thought of it, but it seems to me that you were just emotional as a kid because all little kids are emotional. Try watching other kids' behavior, and I bet it will be more emotional than your's was.

 

[FFF]

You have probably heard this before or thought of it, but it seems to me that you were just emotional as a kid because all little kids are emotional. Try watching other kids' behavior, and I bet it will be more emotional than your's was.

I do have this theory that all kids tend to spend most of their time acting like SFPs. Introversion and Extroversion seem to be very present during childhood, though. I don't really know that much about kids.

 

[bluebell]

I often describe myself as "having had the F beaten out of me" as a kid.

That would be a 'me too'.

Actually, I didn't express feelings because I felt it wasn't safe to do so.

And another 'me too', although it was definitely a not safe thing to do, as opposed to just feeling like it wasn't safe.

 

[FFF]

That would be a 'me too'.



And another 'me too', although it was definitely a not safe thing to do, as opposed to just feeling like it wasn't safe.

Well just because I felt like it wasn't safe doesn't imply that it really was safe.

 

[FFF]

Actually, what I think I'm experiencing these days is a sort of rare trading of dominance. What I mean is that typically INTPs are dominated by Ti. Ne is there, but it's subject to Ti; some say it feeds Ti. Even Si seems to be subject to Ti. There seems to be a rare trading of dominance, though, between Ti and Fi. I think it might be related to high introversion and high perceiving, making me very much an introverted judger.

Any body else notice a sort of function dominance and even trading dominance?

 

[Totenkindly]

I do have this theory that all kids tend to spend most of their time acting like SFPs. Introversion and Extroversion seem to be very present during childhood, though. I don't really know that much about kids.

From my experience, kids all do have fairly clear type preferences (at least 3 out of the 4)... but as kids they are also in that "explore the world and experience sensation" mode -- and I think that is what you might be reading as the "SFP" thing.

Even my INxx kids commonly get into that mode, where they become rambunctious and mess with everything and go nutty just because they can. It's sort of nice to see for the INxx kids who easily could become withdrawn and self-encapsulated; I wish the ESFP would sometimes drop back into IT mode, though.

 

[wildcat]

I wonder if I'm an INFP forced into emotional flatness. Then I wonder if that explains all INTP type nines. I'm the youngest child, and at home I was surrounded by 3 NT guys and never had a good relationship with my ESFJ mom.

Yes that explains it.

 

[indigo2020]

I do have this theory that all kids tend to spend most of their time acting like SFPs. Introversion and Extroversion seem to be very present during childhood, though. I don't really know that much about kids.

no, I have a child and she is clearly an F, yes (and an introvert). She loves to be messy. She seems to have no logic at all. She is 7 years old.

But her best friend (8 years old) is very different. She is an extrovert. She does seem to have more logic, more self control and almost no intuition. She does not like to be messy either.

My mother (INTP) describes herself from the age of 4 years old as being very cerebral and logical, learning to read the NYT at the age of 4 and given an IQ test at the age of 6 because she was so gifted.

There are clearly different types. There is a great website that explains childrens' types.

Personality and Kids

 

[niffer]

As a little kid I was introverted, but eventually I got the E beaten out of me. I was probably always an F, but I used to make a huge effort to suppress it from showing, especially in public. I always viewed my NF-ness as a weakness as a child. But as I grew and had the E beaten out of me because my family wanted me to make an impression socially, I found that I was more comfortable with showing my F. These days I think I've fully learned to control my emotions, and suppress them when acting upon them would not benefit me. It's still an almost-conscious effort for me to do this though. You know what helps to distract you and make you emotionally neutral? Choosing a 4-digit number and counting backwards in increments of 7.

 

[substitute]

I remember as a kid, seeing my sister having temper tantrums and feeling contempt for her and how she made such a spectacle of herself, wondering how she could have so little self-respect. And I remember sneering at my aunts when they'd all be hugging and kissing each other like long lost friends, when they only saw each other two days before, and my brother and I used to make fun of them - but my brother's ENFP so I'm not sure that's an exclusive T thing.

Dufresne makes a good point in that most of us looking back to when we were kids, would think we seem to have grown less emotional, but comparing our child selves to our adult selves perhaps isn't as productive or enlightening as comparing our child selves to other children of the same ages, either then or now.

Like Jennifer, I remember making a conscious decision not to cry again, and I remember there was a time when I was sorta proudly counting the days, then weeks, then months, before I lost count when it went into years, since I'd last cried, when I was about 8 that started.

Ah - there's the other thing: when I was about 12 I remember asking my mom what the hell 'values' means, I didn't understand the concept or the use of it, but just heard people talking about it all the time. And I thought it was silly when she explained it, and said you can't have fixed values because I only 'valued' whatever was most useful or prudent at the time, which changed according to the situation. I didn't get it.

And I remember my uncle, an architect living in Canada and probably ENTP, saying to my mom when she was stressing about my social skills, that she shouldn't worry because I was interested in people, but just more in a kind of 'bug under a microscope' way, a 'poke with stick to see what it does' kind of way!

 

[FFF]

Maybe I am just the weird form of INTP, the type 9 kind instead of type 5. Maybe there's just rare emotional times when all INTPs end up feeling and acting like INFPs.
I've always been under the impression that I'm an emotion stuffer, and I'm a lot colder and unemotional than I should be.

 

[Totenkindly]

Maybe I am just the weird form of INTP, the type 9 kind instead of type 5. Maybe there's just rare emotional times when all INTPs end up feeling and acting like INFPs.
I've always been under the impression that I'm an emotion stuffer, and I'm a lot colder and unemotional than I should be.

Well, I've seen both INFPs and INTPs type as Nines, so it's possible there is some overlapping behavior there.