The Constant Misconception of Wings

[Bubbles]

WINGS CAN ONLY BE A NUMBER ADJACENT TO YOUR TYPE.

I cannot tell you how many times I have to explain to someone that a wing is not the type you're second closest to in your quiz scores/personality.

I'm sure a lot of people on the forum have dealt with similar problems: you get someone proclaiming they're 9w6 or 3w7. Heh, for a while I know I thought I was 4w9.

I think this is because people confuse the point of the wing. They assume it's a "second-best," when, if that were true, we could have a 6w9 integrating towards 9...making the process entirely more complicated because, if we take the application of wings into account, you'd have the traits of a 9 anyway.* This is why the wing system works the way it does--to avoid those complications.

The enneagram types are in a certain order for a reason. We keep them so that the triads are bunched together:

Heart (2, 3, 4)
Thinking (5, 6, 7)
Instinct (8, 9, 1)

Certain enneagrams (4, 5, 7, 8, 1, 2) are settled right next to another triad, and are quite likely to have similar behavior to that other triad. Many people (from what I've noticed on this forum) relate to both their possible wings, although one is dominant. I noticed this especially in the 4w3 vs 4w5 discussion I started earlier.

For the enneagrams that are NOT near another triad (9s, 3s, and 6s), they are unique in that they disintegrate towards a a triad besides their own and then integrate towards the third. There's a series of checks and balances here; a 3 may only be able to have a Heart wing, but integrates into a 6 (Thinking) and disintegrates into a 9 (Instinct).

I'm too lazy to go into how the shape of the enneagram affects the Harmonics and the Hornevian groups, but basically: when someone tells you that the wing is the number adjacent to your type that you most identify with, we're not saying this for no reason. It's shaped the way it is to try and portray a precise system; if we can question how the wings work, then why don't we question how the integration and stress points work as well, and make it way too flexible to work for a general population.

I hope this was coherent, and any other explanations would be wonderful.

--

*(People also don't realize that a similar score on two types can make sense. I'll use myself as an example: I scored similarly on 4 and 9. I related to the 9 profile because I shy away from conflict and like there to be peace. After reading the profiles, though, I understood that those moods for me are caused by being a 4 disintegrating into 2 and seeking approval, not by being a 9 type. 9s are willing to sacrifice parts of themselves to keep the peace; a 4 is obsessed with being an individual and couldn't fathom any compromise with their identity. So a similar behavior can exist with different motivations.)

 

[OrangeAppled]

So a similar behavior can exist with different motivations.

I think that's an important point to keep in mind with any typing system.

 

[Two Point Two]

What does it mean if you identify equally with the two types adjacent to your number?

 

[MonkeyGrass]

So helpful, thank you!

 

[speculative]

Good post Bubbles. Yes, your wing needs to be directly adjacent to your main type. It's just how it works.

 

[Bubbles]

What does it mean if you identify equally with the two types adjacent to your number?

You have balanced wings, then.

 

[Wonkavision]

Thank you, Bubbles.

 

[bcvcdc]

i'm actually misanthropic because i take life seriously and i'm surrounded by jokers.

 

[Eric B]

WINGS CAN ONLY BE A NUMBER ADJACENT TO YOUR TYPE.

I cannot tell you how many times I have to explain to someone that a wing is not the type you're second closest to in your quiz scores/personality.

I'm sure a lot of people on the forum have dealt with similar problems: you get someone proclaiming they're 9w6 or 3w7. Heh, for a while I know I thought I was 4w9.

I think this is because people confuse the point of the wing. They assume it's a "second-best," when, if that were true, we could have a 6w9 integrating towards 9...making the process entirely more complicated because, if we take the application of wings into account, you'd have the traits of a 9 anyway.

I would think this would happen with those examples you just gave, because those types are so similar, and a lot of people probably fall inbetween them. You would think some of them should be adjacent. Like 3 and 7 will have similarities, with 3 being like a cross between 7 and 8; yet 8 and 9 (which being adjacent have wings of each other) are like night and day, and you would think would be far from each other.

I think another thing that should be considered is people being different types along the instinctual variants (which are direct parallels to the FIRO's three areas of interaction).

 

[Jeffster]

If you only have one wing, it is difficult to fly.

 

[Bubbles]

I would think this would happen with those examples you just gave, because those types are so similar, and a lot of people probably fall inbetween them. You would think some of them should be adjacent. Like 3 and 7 will have similarities, with 3 being like a cross between 7 and 8; yet 8 and 9 (which being adjacent have wings of each other) are like night and day, and you would think would be far from each other.

On the contrary, I find 3s and 7s being considered alike to be much like saying a peaceful 9 and a people-pleasing 2 are similar (which I've already delved into). A 3 may appear more 7-like because--by working for success, achievement, and personal pride--it's similar to the 7's constant pursuit of the happier essences of life. Therefore, a 7 might pursue the same ambitions as a 3 just to achieve happiness, while a 3 wants to achieve approval. A 7 is not in constant competition in the same sense that a 3 is. As I said, a 7 is more concerned about their own happiness than the happiness brought about by other's approval. Again, similar behavior with different motives.

Also, I see no point in having such alike behaviors aligned as wings. If you already have one behavior, why do you need an altered version of that same one?

To comment on your dislike of the 9 and 8 wings: having met several 9w8s and an 8w9, I have seen this balancing act in motion, and have no problem with this wing alignment.

I think another thing that should be considered is people being different types along the instinctual variants (which are direct parallels to the FIRO's three areas of interaction).

Absolutely. But why would this contradict the system I'm supporting?

I'm also curious as to your opinion of the triads, since you seem to think they're not grouped well in the enneagram.

 

[Mole]

i'm actually misanthropic because i take life seriously and i'm surrounded by jokers.

Actually you are witty, 'cause you just made a witty comment.

 

[norick]

Bubbles, have my babies.
That's how much I like this post.

 

[Two Point Two]

You have balanced wings, then.

Is that possible?

I've never seen anything about balanced wings, nor about type without wings.

Would balanced wings mean you were like both of your number-wing pairs, or would it mean you were closer the the description of the single number itself?

 

[Requeim]

I UNDERSTAND

where's my medal?? (a diploma is fine too)

 

[Speed Gavroche]

I got a question: can we have developped the two adjascent wings in different degree?

 

[speculative]

What does it mean if you identify equally with the two types adjacent to your number?

It means you haven't found a method of identifying which adjacent type is your wing yet.

I got a question: can we have developped the two adjascent wings in different degree?

You can have developed the two adjacent types to a different degree, and the one you have developed more will be your wing.

 

[wren]

how did you determine a wing? if my guess is correct it was through some sort of test, no? so then you would ask yourself the validity of the test. or i would. there is a lot about type that isn't easily measured and when tests are developed its not always accurate because the questions haven't been developed to the point of depicting the heart. i go with theory first and when it doesn't hold up i may speculate some other way of viewing a system of personality. for me the way numbers line up or circulate i have more faith in adjacency than chunking, but i'm not a numbers person by nature and so, well, there ya go. just a gut feeling i have about it. could be wrong if i had a head about it.

 

[BlackCat]

You measure wing based on what you relate to more. With the type's motivations and stuff.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Bubbles, have my babies.
That's how much I like this post.

She's all mine buddy.