ok...I dont get angery alot but I will tell you about my arguments and my fights with those I care about.
To start I will give an example of the extremes I reach when I have talked about me and my ex screaming and yelling when we fight. I hate anger, I hate everything that revolves around anger. I dont have much anger in me, I will yell and scream as a method of arguing, getting my point across, taking more control of the situation, etc. I have been in knock down drag out fights(never physical, just using that terminology to explain the heat in it) with my ex. I have walked out and went somewhere out of frustration, but it never blocks how much I care for that person or what I will do for that person. Me and my ex got into it one time and I left and went to my parents because I was frsutrated and was ready to throw in the towel. Our cars used to have remote start, so when I left my parents house to go to work in the morning I drove by our house, hopped in her car, turned the heater on, and then used remote start to turn it on so it was already warmed up when she got in.
I got in an argument today with my INFP friend at work. She accused me of being angery because I asked her opinion on a questionaire and didnt agree with her. I decided that I didnt agree with her answer and she said I dont understand and accused me of being angery(this was over IM). Well we got into it more because of the way things went after I was accused of being angery and some of the things we talked about, words were said, I apologized because one thing I said was more extreme then I actually believe, let her know am not mad, and thanked her for helping me. What I said was along the lines of I understand you perfectly, it you who doesnt understand me at all(which when you have been really good friends for awhile this can hurt and I dont believe what I said anyway). I understood exactly why she chose what she did and I can see that, but I believe its a phase in my life and part of it I am working through yet the outside world keeps pushing me and not so much who I am. But because I didnt agree it was that I am angery and dont understand. Well anyway...she pulled away just because she needed time. I had a team lunch this afternoon and she likes the mints at that restaurant so even though we got into it, I still grabbed her a handful of mints on the way in and then another handful on the way out. Not to sway her in anyway, or to get past any of this, or as a peace offering, but just because I care.
I dont get blinded by arguments, or anger, or any of that. I know what matters in this world despite all the little set backs that me and others may face together. I do not let anger control my actions.
Right now me and my ex can have arguments where we completely disagree, get into a huge heated discussion argument where we hang up the phone on each other or whatever, but she can always turn around at anytime and ask me a question about my son, or tell me he needs something and all my frustrations are put to the side because he is what matters the most. My worst is when something like this happens and I ignore her calls/text because I dont want to deal with her as I may miss one of those times where its not about the argument and about something else with my son.