Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx Considered "Dark"?

[Mia.]

seconded

Thirded.

 

[Mia.]

My best explanation is that when compared with the so-secondary crowd, we are a lot "darker" and more raw. Sx/So's have a greater need to be seen and accepted, so their expressions of sexuality are more in keeping with accepted norms. They're also more overt with their sex appeal. They have big, bright, bold energy that seems to say, "Look at me! Look at me!". When they're really on, they're charismatic, dazzling, and virtually irresistible.

Self-preservation second frames things a little bit differently for an Sx/Sp. Issues of connection and intimacy take on a more urgent and visceral connotation. We prioritize our sx needs above everything else, and there's really no external moderating influence to speak of. At my core there is just this hunger, this need, for more, more, more. Like a fire within me that I wish I could feed until it consumed me altogether.

I think this is why we are perceived to be "dark". We are deeply in touch with those things about ourselves that are not exactly civilized or polite, and we revel in them. We smolder with them. But we take an equal delight in the uncivilized things in others. We want that nasty. That realness. People can sense it, they aren't comfortable with it, so they put a label on it. Who knows, though? Maybe we are fucked up lol.

This does a good job of picking up on various elements of it, especially the underlined.

 

[Etherea]

<--------- Exhibit A: roses aren't supposed to be black.

:/ Not doubting your darkness or anything, I just don't think that proves much. Black roses are my favorite flower because they are unique and are cultivated especially. I am a sort of dark individual, but I have a lot of "light" in me as well.

 

[Viridian]

Oh, watch Lord Elfboy, he adores it when things are "Badass" for effect.

Now, come on, he hasn't used that word non-ironically for months, AFAIK.

 

[skylights]

What [MENTION=7254]Wind-Up Rex[/MENTION] posted is really spot-on. It seems to be about rawness and visceral connection. So has a moderating force on Sx where it draws it out into the social sphere and tempers it by ensuring that your Sx drive is not too polarizing such as to put off others, because you do strongly want to maintain that connection with the greater social sphere. We have a need to be actively engaged and to belong, and as such we cannot devote ourselves to exposing our energy in the same way that an Sx/Sp can cultivate. A Sx/So 7w8, for example, is probably going to be that big, bright, bold force Rex mentioned. Dazzling, irresistible. But not quite raw - that would risk putting people off, losing the global connection.

That isn't to say that Sx/So can't be dark. In my own personal ways, I think I carry a lot of darkness. But it comes from a different source - it comes from the dark spaciousness of Ne and the sacrificial edge of Fi and it comes from the chaos and fear of 6 and the desperation of 7. And of course a Sx-dom is going to be "darker" than a So-dom - our energy is more condensed, more intense, more private.

 

[TreeBob]

I don't think I would ever use the word dark to describe me. Maybe this is more the introverted Sx/Sp

 

[sulfit]

I'd say these stackings are the most attuned to the animal self. Whether this makes them dark or not, it could be but I think there must be some other personality aspects at play. It was mentioned here http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/133-Instinctual-Stackings that sx/sp and sp/sx inhabit the world of "underground".

 

[Elfboy]

I don't think I would ever use the word dark to describe me. Maybe this is more the introverted Sx/Sp

you're also an ESTP. ESTPs aren't known for their dark personalities. being "dark" is generally more of an Fi thing

 

[sulfit]

you're also an ESTP. ESTPs aren't known for their dark personalities. being "dark" is generally more of an Fi thing

never heard ESTP being called dark personality
usually distracted, low attention span, playful, inconsistent but dark never

 

[garbage]

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/133-Instinctual-Stackings

On reading this tidbit

sx/sp
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.

the thought struck me that, in order to truly resolve inner conflict and know oneself and one's heart's desires, one has to slog through a lot of crap. Ergo, there's gotta be a twinge of darkness that gets drudged up every once in a while.

Some people just don't know how to embrace or reconcile that aspect of themselves in a healthy way.

Also: if that whole sx/sp description isn't a bit "dark" or at least a bit "brooding," then I don't know what is. Internally conflicted? Yearning for a missing piece? Restless and torn?

 

[Coriolis]

Also: if that whole sx/sp description isn't a bit "dark" or at least a bit "brooding," then I don't know what is. Internally conflicted? Yearning for a missing piece? Restless and torn?

Well, 2 out of 3 describe me, but I'm sp/sx, not sx/sp. The OP referenced both stackings, but I haven't seen a good comparison of the two yet. How much changes when the stacking is reversed??

 

[MissyMaron]

Well, 2 out of 3 describe me, but I'm sp/sx, not sx/sp. The OP referenced both stackings, but I haven't seen a good comparison of the two yet. How much changes when the stacking is reversed??

I don't think the sense of urgency to find that 'missing piece' is the same for the sp/sx, which is what I am. It is there and surfaces time to time, but I can go on without that desperate craving for quite a while as long as I tend to my own personal goals and needs. Sx energy is pretty distinct and can be intimidating to a lot of people who feel its force of presence. Being sx secondary allows me to tuck it away much more easily and I appear to be one of the least threatening and intimidating people out there. I have a grounded energy, as far as 6w7 and ENFP goes, anyway. I prefer to think of myself as internally intense, but it doesn't mean I can't be "light" either.

As far as "darkness" goes, I do feel I possess it and have a strong attachment to that side of my personality, but I don't immediately send off that vibe. I'm glad I don't. Most wouldn't detect that from me. Warm smiles and giggles from me. I come off very friendly and accepting, a little bit reserved to those I'm unfamiliar with. Being sp dominant makes me prioritize protection of the self first so I'm always weary who I let in.

So as much as I like to think of myself as dark and intense and whatnot, it's not exactly the first thing people have to say about me xD But, that's fine by me. It just means I can reserve it for just me and whoever I feel compelled to show.

 

[Lady_X]

you know...yeah. i totally relate to that. i can see how that applies to me.

sx sp yep

 

[Mal12345]

Oh, I'm dark, baby. Way dark.

Ok, seriously now.

My best explanation is that when compared with the so-secondary crowd, we are a lot "darker" and more raw. Sx/So's have a greater need to be seen and accepted, so their expressions of sexuality are more in keeping with accepted norms. They're also more overt with their sex appeal. They have big, bright, bold energy that seems to say, "Look at me! Look at me!". When they're really on, they're charismatic, dazzling, and virtually irresistible.

Self-preservation second frames things a little bit differently for an Sx/Sp. Issues of connection and intimacy take on a more urgent and visceral connotation. We prioritize our sx needs above everything else, and there's really no external moderating influence to speak of. At my core there is just this hunger, this need, for more, more, more. Like a fire within me that I wish I could feed until it consumed me altogether.

I think this is why we are perceived to be "dark". We are deeply in touch with those things about ourselves that are not exactly civilized or polite, and we revel in them. We smolder with them. But we take an equal delight in the uncivilized things in others. We want that nasty. That realness. People can sense it, they aren't comfortable with it, so they put a label on it. Who knows, though? Maybe we are fucked up lol.

The important thing to remember is to keep it off of others. Because if the darkness comes out into the light of day, then there are consequences to deal with for a long time.

 

[skylights]

i think in terms of sp/sx versus sx/sp, you're going to see a huge "temperature" difference. it's like sp is self-contained, sx reaches outwards, and so opens up. in neutral-negative terms, sp is inert; sx is aggressive; so is passive.

 

[Mal12345]

i think in terms of sp/sx versus sx/sp, you're going to see a huge "temperature" difference. it's like sp is self-contained, sx reaches outwards, and so opens up. in neutral-negative terms, sp is inert; sx is aggressive; so is passive.

In math terms, -1+1 = 0.

I don't think so.

 

[Elfboy]

Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx are considered more "dark" because their focus is much more narrow and, frankly, they probably aren't going to pay much attention to you unless you are somehow significant to them. the focus of the instinct variants is
So: the social group, what's going on around them (several people)
Sp: me (1 person)
Sx: my significant other or interest (1 person or thing)

so if you have both Sp (1 person) and Sx (1 person or thing), you tend to be much more closed off to 99% of the world.

 

[skylights]

In math terms, -1+1 = 0.

I don't think so.

except it's more like -1 + (.5)(1) = -.5 since the primary variant will always have a stronger drive than the secondary. the primary drive is almost like a compulsion... you can't help but do it. even the most self-contained of sx/sp will still be reaching outwards to satisfy their needs at some level since you prioritize ensuring connection over ensuring self-sufficiency, and even the most outgoing of sp/sx will still be maintaining their boundaries to satisfy their needs at some level since they prioritize ensuring self-sufficiency over ensuring connection.

 

[Coriolis]

i think in terms of sp/sx versus sx/sp, you're going to see a huge "temperature" difference. it's like sp is self-contained, sx reaches outwards, and so opens up. in neutral-negative terms, sp is inert; sx is aggressive; so is passive.

How do you think the two (sp/sx vs. sx/sp) compare in terms of the idea of darkness referenced in the OP?

 

[Lady_X]

Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx are considered more "dark" because their focus is much more narrow and, frankly, they probably aren't going to pay much attention to you unless you are somehow significant to them. the focus of the instinct variants is
So: the social group, what's going on around them (several people)
Sp: me (1 person)
Sx: my significant other or interest (1 person or thing)

so if you have both Sp (1 person) and Sx (1 person or thing), you tend to be much more closed off to 99% of the world.

Yes agreed.

I seek out intensity and if it's not present I just turn to whatever ideas or projects that I'm consumed with.