Sx Last, when do you show intimacy?

[Elfboy]

just curious

 

[Phantonym]

Whenever I feel like it but only with people I feel very close to and very comfortable with.

 

[Kasper]

What do you mean by intimacy? I'm not being funny but it can mean different things like sex, vulnerability, closeness, familiarity, warmth, affection or lack of guardedness and so on, some things are easier than others.

 

[Elfboy]

What do you mean by intimacy? I'm not being funny but it can mean different things like sex, vulnerability, closeness, familiarity, warmth, affection or lack of guardedness and so on, some things are easier than others.

any of these things except sex (that's different)

 

[Kasper]

Damn, sex would have been the easy one to answer well then...

Vulnerability: Never more than I have to and generally only when my defences are inhibited, ie when drinking. Trust and openness I have no issues with, I tend to use that so show intimacy more than vulnerability.

Familiarity: More often than not, I am never very formal.

Warmth: Whenever the moment hits and something strikes me as touching.

Affection: With friends not too often, with a lover frequently.

Lack of guardedness: I don't, it's always there, even when drinking.

 

[Elfboy]

Damn, sex would have been the easy one to answer well then...

Vulnerability: Never more than I have to and generally only when my defences are inhibited, ie when drinking. Trust and openness I have no issues with, I tend to use that so show intimacy more than vulnerability.

Familiarity: More often than not, I am never very formal.

Warmth: Whenever the moment hits and something strikes me as touching.

Affection: With friends not too often, with a lover frequently.

Lack of guardedness: I don't, it's always there, even when drinking.

guardedness is an Sp/Sx thing more than an Sp/So thing

 

[Such Irony]

Whenever I feel like it but only with people I feel very close to and very comfortable with.

This

 

[Southern Kross]

I am intimate when it feels genuinely natural for me to be so - when people inspire me to be so. However, I rarely feel the inclination. Mostly I find moments of intimacy awkward because it feels forced. I feel self-conscious because often I'm not feeling what I'm meant to be feeling in that moment. Few people have ever managed to draw me in enough that I would wish to be intimate with them.

Oh and when I'm really, seriously drunk. But that's pretty rare too.

 

[EJCC]

I'll bite.

Vulnerability:
I can't really control this one; sometimes I'll have an outburst of built-up emotion and won't be able to control it, and I'll feel very vulnerable then. But I would only choose to show vulnerability if I knew that I needed to. And I would pick the people I opened up to very carefully, i.e. only close friends, family, or people with expertise (and by that I mean either 1. psychologists/psychiatrists, or 2. people who understand what I'm dealing with and could advise me in such a way that I could escape whatever situation is eating away at me).

Familiarity:
Pretty much everyone. I try to be friendly, cordial and respectful with everyone I meet.

Warmth:
See above.

Affection:
Friends. This is one of the only areas where I don't differentiate between close and not-so-close friends. I'm the sort of person who has a very large circle of friends but a very small group of truly close friends, but I think I can show affection with any member of the larger group.

Lack of guardedness:
Preferably no one, but if it had to be someone, it would be someone who wouldn't be offended by my true opinion on certain things. Speaking of guardedness and drinking (which Kas brought up earlier), the way that I become less guarded when I drink is to get incredibly harsh and blunt with people -- no longer cushioning verbal blows, letting out all my Te-perfectionistic irritation, flat-out insulting things, and, in other words, being an arrogant jerk (which is a tendency that I try very hard to hold in). The person I'd be less guarded with would be the person who wouldn't be offended by a display like that. Unless you're talking about guardedness relating to deep personal feelings... in which case my answer would be the same as with "Vulnerability".

 

[miss fortune]

sex has always been the easiest of the things on that list

I control what information people know about me... I'm a control freak that way and I enjoy manipulating my image by information control Occasionally I am frank and open about a topic because I feel that it is important... afterwords I wish to slink behind the couch and hide...

I'm one of the few people that I know who ends conversations with thier long term signifigant other with "see you" instead of "love you"... I almost never tell anyone I love them or express any form of verbal affection that doesn't boil down to "good job, man!"

I like people in general, but do not trust most people particularly... I can be with someone years and they still don't know important chunks of my life... I don't feel that it is any of thier business really... I still need SOME form of privacy. I'll talk to strangers about any topic under the sun except for my past or what I feel about anything

don't know if that helps any

 

[Kasper]

sex has always been the easiest of the things on that list

I know

I'm one of the few people that I know who ends conversations with thier long term signifigant other with "see you" instead of "love you"... I almost never tell anyone I love them or express any form of verbal affection that doesn't boil down to "good job, man!"

That is insanely more comfortable. The alternate unmentionable option always causes me to internally jar when I hear other people say it. I appreciate that they can but it feels too awkward to me, as if saying that would cause everyone within a 1-mile radius to turn and stare at me and find me naked for being expressive about a vulnerable emotion *shudders*

 

[Fluffywolf]

Generally, if someone shows it to me first. I'm Sp/So.

 

[Tallulah]

Basically what SouthernKross said. I show it when someone is able to make me feel comfortable enough to show it. Otherwise, I am acutely aware of the expectation, and it makes me go into sp mode. That said, I LOVE it when people can get through to my sx side.

 

[JAVO]

...as an sx/sp prowls through this thread...

 

[mrcockburn]

My biggest show of intimacy is when I sing in front of the person. I normally never ever ever sing. Ever. Because I am deathly afraid of someone hearing me.

Not in my room (I have flatmates), not in the shower (neighbors/flatmates could hear), and not even when driving if I'm in traffic and cars stopped next to me could hear. I don't know why I'm so weird about that, but I am. I'd only dare sing in front of someone if I fully trusted them.

So, if I sing in front of you, I probably really love you.

/ewewew*wipeshands*feeeleryness!*

 

[BlueGray]

I'm not quite certain I can identify intimacy vs non-intimacy. Brings back the warm, fuzzy feeling of dealing with frequent migraines and saying "But it's NOT a headache."; primarily due to the pain being near my eyes, not my "head". Definitions are rather annoying.

I'm not exactly forthcoming, but I don't worry about people knowing what many consider personal details.