[ENFP] So this infamous ENFP "Te Bitchslap".....

[Virtual ghost]

The only thing I see in this ENFP Te bitchslap are hurt feelings. So I usually just smile at them and continue my thing.

 

[Santosha]

I am a bit confused by the "Ne-Te Bitchslap" myself. I think there is a common misconception that when an ENFP is being mean, or unhealthy, or flips out, that this happens.. but I disagree. Cognitive functions may manifest into behaviors, but they are not THE behavior. They say that tertiary usage doesn't really even begin to develop until MID LIFE. I am highly skeptical of this so called Ne-Te bitchslap being thrown around as frequently as it seems to be.. especially by younger (myself included at 30) ENFP's.

But perhaps the difficulty in understanding this is the same difficulty you find when trying to define any cog process purely by behavioral manifestation. Is it ne-te? Is it ISTJ shadow? How can we ever really know?

So I think the best way to look at it is to take it at face value. What is being conveyed by the Ne-Te bitchslap is excatly what appears.. when the dominant functions skips right over the auxillary function feeding it with internal values, to an external "ends justify the means" action. So really, Ne-Te wouldn't be especially cruel or irrational. And I don't ever see it being used specifically to hurt or attack. I'm trying to think of a good example of how a true Ne-Te might manifest.. but I'm hella crazy tired and drawing a blank. Maybe someone else can shed some light.

 

[INTP]

I am a bit confused by the "Ne-Te Bitchslap" myself. I think there is a common misconception that when an ENFP is being mean, or unhealthy, or flips out, that this happens.. but I disagree. Cognitive functions may manifest into behaviors, but they are not THE behavior. They say that tertiary usage doesn't really even begin to develop until MID LIFE. I am highly skeptical of this so called Ne-Te bitchslap being thrown around as frequently as it seems to be.. especially by younger (myself included at 30) ENFP's.

But perhaps the difficulty in understanding this is the same difficulty you find when trying to define any cog process purely by behavioral manifestation. Is it ne-te? Is it ISTJ shadow? How can we ever really know?

So I think the best way to look at it is to take it at face value. What is being conveyed by the Ne-Te bitchslap is excatly what appears.. when the dominant functions skips right over the auxillary function feeding it with internal values, to an external "ends justify the means" action. So really, Ne-Te wouldn't be especially cruel or irrational. And I don't ever see it being used specifically to hurt or attack. I'm trying to think of a good example of how a true Ne-Te might manifest.. but I'm hella crazy tired and drawing a blank. Maybe someone else can shed some light.

development of functions isnt that you dont use them before, its that you use them mainly unconsciously. also this tert not starting to develop until mid life is how some people experience it, many say(including me) that they have started developing their tert in early/mid 20's and you can speed up the process by doing some self analyzing or experiencing something that forces you to develop tert.

i think its ISTJ shadow, but naturally Fi and Ne have their part in this. its just that Si Te sends SOOOO strong instincts that you just follow them without thinking. and i dont think this is just a bitchslap thing. my mom (ENFP) when she is annoyed enough by something, she gets extremely anal, every details has to fit(to her view of something), organizing, obviously she gets cranky, efficient(or at least in her mind), argue and cant stand any arguments back etc etc.

 

[Amargith]

LOL. Well, it definitely has the sting of righteous indignation to it, I suppose, but in my experience, the famed Te bitchslap often (but not always by any means!) involves taking mostly inconsequential facts, blowing them out of all proportion, and constructing an arguments that the angry ENFP thinks is supremely rational, when, in fact, they aren't making much sense at all. If you care about good logic or are just inherently a cruel person, this is when you step back and say things like "You're being very hysterical" in your most supercilious voice while they fume and fume like baby volcanoes.

If you're a big old softie, you wince, clutch your cheek, cry, and run away.

Yes. That bitchslap is diffused and more like watching a volcano blow up. Be glad. We're not targetting properly and rambling to defend and figure shit out.

=>NeTe.

= Defense and creating space for Fi to get the chance to figure things out

The one that's actually lethal is the one that happens when Fi is focused instead of still juggling info. The one that suddenly realizes that you are being an ass to us. And doing so on purpose. And then that Fi gets intensily focused on who you are and why you're acting like that. And unlike the normal moment where we ease you into that kind of self-reflection, the self-reflection is forced, brutally, at a speed that few can actually keep up with and process and if done properly, is dead-on and often an utter surprise to the receiver. Add some guilttripping and overloading of your system with value judgements after putting your soul naked in front of the mirror and it can make the toughest T cry.

Believe me, I know. (not that I'm proud of it)

= actual attack/backlash of your behavior

 

[Oaky]

Yeah....................................................................................


How do you handle it?

Its not nice. At all.

Is it something to handle when it is never properly given?

 

[stalemate]

The one that suddenly realizes that you are being an ass to us. And doing so on purpose. And then that Fi gets intensily focused on who you are and why you're acting like that. And unlike the normal moment where we ease you into that kind of self-reflection, the self-reflection is forced, brutally, at a speed that few can actually keep up with and process and if done properly, is dead-on and often an utter surprise to the receiver.

This description is what I can most relate to. I've had it happen recently. Someone was being really antagonistic toward me and I kept calmly trying to make him stop and reflect, but he wouldn't do it. Once he was down a path, he had to be right, even if it meant completely steamrolling me in front of everyone. Once I realized where it was really headed, I didn't ramble on like a volcano or get all hysterical. I said 4 words to him and he got all mad and left.

 

[Malkavia]

Yes. That bitchslap is diffused and more like watching a volcano blow up. Be glad. We're not targetting properly and rambling to defend and figure shit out.

=>NeTe.

= Defense and creating space for Fi to get the chance to figure things out

The one that's actually lethal is the one that happens when Fi is focused instead of still juggling info. The one that suddenly realizes that you are being an ass to us. And doing so on purpose. And then that Fi gets intensily focused on who you are and why you're acting like that. And unlike the normal moment where we ease you into that kind of self-reflection, the self-reflection is forced, brutally, at a speed that few can actually keep up with and process and if done properly, is dead-on and often an utter surprise to the receiver. Add some guilttripping and overloading of your system with value judgements after putting your soul naked in front of the mirror and it can make the toughest T cry.

Believe me, I know. (not that I'm proud of it)

= actual attack/backlash of your behavior

This is what Im speaking of as well. The kind of attack that is precise and meant to do as much damage as possible with the least amount of words.

Its not being emotional or hysterical. Its being exactly the opposite, actually.

 

[Amargith]

Oh it can be emotional as well, coz you're so pissed they pushed you that far.. but it doesn't detract from the strength and preciseness of the character analysis you do, and the emotional bit can actually turn you cruel coz you've so had enough, to the point where you tear them to pieces through analysis and forcefeed them every fucking piece without giving them a chance to digest it, till they cry in complete horror.

Fwiw, you don't wanna go there, as an ENFP.

The calm, detached way is way more healthy for yourself and keeps you from being too cruel.

 

[chickpea]

Uh ... I think you might be overestimating its force, guys.

haha agreed. sorry to burst your bubble enfp's, but you are not as badass as you think you are.

 

[Amargith]

Be glad you haven't been on the receiving end then. My ENTP burst out in tears the one time I went there. It's not something I break out with everyone on a regular basis, nor that I ever wanna break out again.

 

[chickpea]

Be glad you haven't been on the receiving end then. My ENTP burst out in tears the one time I went there. It's not something I break out with everyone on a regular basis, nor that I ever wanna break out again.

my mother's a batshit crazy enfp, i've been on the recieving end thousands of times lol. my teenage years were a 24/7 enfp bitchslap. i've just noticed that when a lot of enfp's 'burn' someone they'll be super proud of themselves, and think it affected the person more than it usually did. not that it can't be really hurtful, i just think enfp's exaggerate and dramatize it in their minds sometimes.

 

[stalemate]

my mother's a batshit crazy enfp, i've been on the recieving end thousands of times lol. my teenage years were a 24/7 enfp bitchslap. i've just noticed that when a lot of enfp's 'burn' someone they'll be super proud of themselves, and think it affected the person more than it usually did. not that it can't be really hurtful, i just think enfp's exaggerate and dramatize it in their minds sometimes.

I never exaggerate anything!

 

[Amargith]

[MENTION=7991]chana[/MENTION] I'm hardly proud of it. Quite the opposite in fact. Perhaps you did learn how to close off of it, and I'm sorry to hear that your mother did this so often. The key is in it being properly done, aka, being actually right about the things you're analyzing and that often isn't that easy when you're emotional. Not sure how good your mom is at psycho-analyzing others and using it against them when she's in that state. Often, the first state (the NeTe one) I described is what is others classify as a batshit crazy enfp, ime. If she truly goes into the attack-mode, then I do feel for you for having to grow up with that as well as her for feeling the need to go there that often.

 

[011235813]

i've just noticed that when a lot of enfp's 'burn' someone they'll be super proud of themselves, and think it affected the person more than it usually did. not that it can't be really hurtful, i just think enfp's exaggerate and dramatize it in their minds sometimes.

Yeah, this. Not to say I don't do it myself ... which is probably why it's easy to recognise.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Oh it can be emotional as well, coz you're so pissed they pushed you that far.. but it doesn't detract from the strength and preciseness of the character analysis you do, and the emotional bit can actually turn you cruel coz you've so had enough, to the point where you tear them to pieces through analysis and forcefeed them every fucking piece without giving them a chance to digest it, till they cry in complete horror.

Fwiw, you don't wanna go there, as an ENFP.

The calm, detached way is way more healthy for yourself and keeps you from being too cruel.

I've been there. And I must say it's a pretty horrifying experience.

I noticed that my ENFP starts to retaliate, the power is at least triple to a point that I couldn't sleep for days because a) I felt manipulated (he was being overtly emotional and use self-pity way beyond my limit) and b) because I felt exactly what chana mentioned--a mission accomplished vibe, which both have caused me casting even more doubts on him.

I've seen ENFP girls fighting with others, but the level of impact is far different from ENFP men I've encountered. Any thoughts on this?

 

[Amargith]

^^ It's not the first, nor will it be the last time that ENFPs don't get taken seriously. That's ok.

 

[Billy]

ENFP bitchslap? lol... more like a fail-slap. Anyone with perception can see it coming a mile away, and prepare accordingly. I had a few ENFPs attempt this on me, not only did I turn everyone against them, use them up for what I could before I ditched them and then door slammed their ass and left them in the cold. Too easy. Now an INTJ/ENTJ Te bitchslap, that can be scary because their Te smack downs tend to be less emotionally aimed and go after shit that matters.

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

ENFP bitchslap? lol... more like a fail-slap. Anyone with perception can see it coming a mile away, and prepare accordingly. I had a few ENFPs attempt this on me, not only did I turn everyone against them, use them up for what I could before I ditched them and then door slammed their ass and left them in the cold. Too easy. Now an INTJ/ENTJ Te bitchslap, that can be scary because their Te smack downs tend to be less emotionally aimed and go after shit that matters.

y r u so cute??? omg, billy, i just want 2 wet your hair with my saliva and sit on your head until im completely engorjed.

 

[Billy]

fap fap fap?

 

[King sns]

ENFP bitchslap? lol... more like a fail-slap. Anyone with perception can see it coming a mile away, and prepare accordingly. I had a few ENFPs attempt this on me, not only did I turn everyone against them, use them up for what I could before I ditched them and then door slammed their ass and left them in the cold. Too easy. Now an INTJ/ENTJ Te bitchslap, that can be scary because their Te smack downs tend to be less emotionally aimed and go after shit that matters.

I don't think you can see mine coming from a mile away. That doesn't make it any more reasonable of a bitchslap though. I'll be fine, fine fine, someone will aggravate me and then I will just *SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!!* It's really hard to know the triggers or when it's going to come. Except there are the times when people stand too close to me, and then you can probably see it coming. Because it starts where I get that song, "don't stand so close to me" in my head... (I'm not sure what it's called.) And that's the warning, and I'm pretty sure that's when my face turns sour, and people have about 30 seconds to a minute to catch my drift and give me some personal space.