[SJ] SJs & sex

[Bella]

You're a blanky, ok?

Wet blanky? lol!

 

[swordpath]

You bet you are!

 

[Bella]

You bet you are!

I'll have you know, I'm not. I'm a fountain of unwet-blanky deliciousness.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

lol I need to remember that icon... Whats the tag line for it...

 

[chimpuloc]

While we are on the subject of relationships (well, the ISTJs are)...let's talk about sex baby!


Okay, why do I keep reading SJs have very traditional sex to basically make babies, and are rigid on their schedules and places regarding it??? Come on, is this true?

Open up...we can't see you!! Tell us your thoughts...

Okay, sooo....
Sex.

Wanted to be in a FWB relationship not too long ago. I even brought it up to them up front and bluntly.
Yes, I like sex. No, I'm not a slut lol
I enjoy sex because of the experience.
With the whole nurturing side of an ISFJ coming out, the experience is rich and filled with intimacy that, personally, assures a connection of closeness in that moment. Knowing that the person you're sleeping with is willing to have sex with you automatically sets a strong sense of trust and bond.
I love that.

 

[cherchair]

SJs and sex

Ok, but again that's built on the assumption that's bad. A hallmark of a mature person is the ability to limit one's options to the appropriate ones. It's usually immature people who want their cake and eat it too.

I'm not sure what you mean by "appropriate options." If you mean limiting your "options" to a spouse who, by his/her very nature cannot or will not meet a deep-seated need, but whom you love very much and are unwilling to disrupt the family, I see that as less the hallmark of a mature person but the hallmark of a truncated life. The phrase "want(ing) your cake and eat(ing it too" connotes irresponsibility while in fact it may be taking responsibility for one's own life.

I'm not speaking of casual sex here but of a relationship that is significant in other ways: emotionally, spiritually, mentally, as well as sexually. A further caveat, at least IMO, is that the spouse who is unwilling or unable to meet one's needs must be aware of and agree to the second relationship so that honesty is maintained in the spousal relationship.

 

[ehastin1]

i'm isfj and i love having sex and that's all i really have to say about it lol

 

[littledarling]

I met an ISTJ on a BDSM forum...and other such kinky places

 

[swordpath]

wut u doing on those forums?

 

[littledarling]

wut u doing on those forums?

Isn't it obvious?

 

[batumi]

Without revealing too much info, my SJ has a higher sex drive than previous boyfriends. I have no complaints!

My experience, now with a second ISTJ male, has been quite satisfying
and even wonderful. "Best kept secret", perhaps?
Or just the right combination of letters.....:hi:

 

[swordpath]

Isn't it obvious?

Not at all . Explain.

 

[littledarling]

Not at all . Explain.

Hahahahaha.

Really?

 

[swordpath]

No.

 

[simulatedworld]

ajblaise...I wasn't being nasty....never to you, my sweetieangeldelight.

You STJs sure have a funny way of showing it when you aren't being nasty. Maybe this has something to do with why people think you have ice for blood?

 

[Giggly]

You STJs sure have a funny way of showing it when you aren't being nasty. Maybe this has something to do with why people think you have ice for blood?

With STJs it's pretty much, you get what you give. So be nice, my friend.

 

[swordpath]

I'm nice.

 

[JocktheMotie]

I'm trying to "unlock" mine. She's so reserved, and defers to me all the time. Which is fine when I'm in super-predator mode, but other times I'm looking for a little assertiveness on her part to make it less one sided.

It's very bizarre because when it comes to anything but sex she's very assertive and self-confident. Oh well, keep plugging away I suppose.

 

[Giggly]

^What about non-sexual affection?

 

[charliefoxtrot]

Hey, another NON-ISFJ to add yet another two cents! hah
Well, my boyfriend is an ISFJ...at first he put on this really neat act of being buttoned-up and conservative, and not really interested sex. I think he had himself convinced too, what with a lack of experience. Once he got comfortable with me though, and was secure with the fact that I wanted him to "fulfill his duties"...oh boy! hahaha
He's just devilish, and the fact that he can be so generous is such a bonus. Funny thing...he definitely would not be comfortable with discussing it with anybody apart from myself, and that he doesn't want me discussing it with anybody I know, either!
So by my limited knowledge of the situation, I'd say SJs cultivate a sexually conservative facade, but once you get them behind closed doors, there can be some "serving joyfully" alright.

With the whole nurturing side of an ISFJ coming out, the experience is rich and filled with intimacy that, personally, assures a connection of closeness in that moment. Knowing that the person you're sleeping with is willing to have sex with you automatically sets a strong sense of trust and bond.

Interesting and useful insight into the machinations of your type. hm.