Are you over concerned with your desirability?
I think I was at one time. Over time, you realize that people are either going to like you or they aren't.
Are you obssessed with something or somebody?
I can get that way if I'm idle with my time. If I stay busy with work and other such things, then it's hard to have time for that. But, with something like entrepreneurial aspirations or a new hobby, yes, it can become a fixation.
What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?
Talking about ideas. Listening to people who have vision. Hanging out with someone interesting and just picking each other's brains and laughing as the time innocently passes. It's rare. I'll try to go deeper, but 99% of the time I hit a brick wall at some point. When it happens, it just happens. You run into someone and the conversation is just off-the-charts amazing.
Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?
Not jealous. Can be paranoid if I'm not getting good "vibes" or signals from the other person (i.e. they are withdrawing, changes in their behavior that lead me to believe something isn't right, etc.)
Not at all. Only thing along those lines is that I hate being cut-off or interrupted when I'm talking about something important (i.e. you asked me a question and I'm answering, or I'm telling you something important about myself or my situation). Like if it's kind of an intense moment or I'm really focused and engaged in my explanation and someone interrupts with something really lame. It's not that I need the attention, it's just that it's downright rude. Other than that, I'm not needy.
Not in a physical sense. In dialogue, I can be aggressive (I think *direct* is a much more accurate word) if I'm being overtly challenged, manipulated, coerced, or backed into a corner.
Do you cultivate your masculinity?
I don't really actively *cultivate* it, but I'm aware of areas that I could do better and so I try to be more complete, or well-rounded if a situation may call for it.
Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?
Never to the point to where I considered a same sex relationship. I was confused in the sense that I couldn't relate to people all that well, like in my teens and early 20's. I was always attracted to women and often them to me, but I had a difficult time connecting with them or approaching them. Someone would tell me that a girl liked me, but I wouldn't know where to take it from there. And so I would wonder, "What's wrong with me?"
Happy to report that things have gotten much better on that front. It's gotten MUCH better with age.
Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?
I don't fear it at all. I desire it very much (with anyone I meet). It's just been my experience that very few people I come into contact with (1%?) desire the same thing.
Not avoidant, just extremely selective. If I find out that someone who I find attractive is interested in me, I will not get involved unless I have a pretty good idea that our personalities will mesh. Even if she's attractive and is showing interest, I'm not going to commit the large amount of time required to build true intimacy if I'm pretty certain that it wouldn't work. There's a beautiful girl that I know who is interested in me (and me in her), but she has 2 kids and I'm not sure I'm ready to get involved in that right now, so I hold back. I don't lead her on, even though I'm interested. When the conversation starts to "go there", I redirect it to something else. Another girl I know wants to go out, but she's extremely "J" and I just know that I couldn't tolerate that part of her personality. So, even though we've gotten close as friends, I really try to keep tabs on how "intimate" I allow the conversation to be - as to not mislead her.
How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?
I'm open to new things, although I generally like to think things through a little bit before just jumping in. But, the idea of new experiences is good, because I don't like monotony.
Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?
Not to become one, as we are two unique individuals. But a deep understanding of one another, a deep bond, a deep trust - most definitely. Very rare to find it, however.
Do you consider yourself as sexy?
Hmmm. In some ways yes, in other ways no. And I don't judge my own "sexiness" on my own opinion. I can only go off of feedback from others - and that varies. I get compliments on the physical and people also enjoy my humor and personality (on the surface). The deeper we go, however, the more unique of an individual it takes to *tolerate* me, I suppose. In other words, someone might find my physically attractive and they might like my personality a lot, but the more they get to know me, they find me very complex and overanalytical. So, I just keep it lighthearted and only "go deep" with those that I think can handle it or appreciate it (or who want to see it).
Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?
It happens sometimes. Today when I went to lunch at my regular place, two of the girls behind the counter started arguing (playfully) about which one should help me. One said, "I get this one." And the other said, "Why do you get it? You're married!" And then the supervisor said, "In case you didn't know, they're fighting over you." I said, "Well, I kind of like it."
Here's the real scoop though: it sometimes can make me feel uncomfortable to get a compliment and, in this case, for a moment I did. It's mainly an introvert thing, I think. I just really don't like the spotlight to be on me. When this happened, other customers and all the workers were listening to it all. And I don't want to be center stage. It's not my thing. I don't feel "at home" in that position. It feels awkward. But, as I alluded to earlier, it has gotten better with age. You learn what to say, how to make people laugh, etc.
Have you some passion for something or someone?
Yes. Business ventures. Faith.
As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?
It's a strange combination, I think. Sx has a deep desire to be intimate, to know the depths of someone, what makes them tick, what drives them, to understand them, to have them seek those same things out of me - to have them reach deep down into me and ask the right questions that will draw those things out of me as well. That mutual desire to go deeper. It often (not always) has nothing to do with falling in love either.
Sp, on the other hand, wants to keep strangers out. It *protects* from unwanted invasion of privacy, etc. Like if someone that I am only an acquaintance with says something like, "What's your last name? What part of town do you live in?", it often annoys me. I mean, I can give out the information and be OK with it, but it's like, "Why do you really want to know? Just because you're a nosy person who wants to know what everyone is up to and gossip about people?" If I intuit that you are that type of person or that you're capable of that kind of behavior, I'm not giving up much information to you. I might respond with, "Oh, I live over on the west side of town, how about yourself - where do you live? How long have you lived there?" I'll turn the questioning back on to them. If it's someone that I intuit that I can *go deeper* with, then I'm much more open and they'll have "sx" access. They'll get more information than just "where I live" and "what my name is". They'll get the good stuff - my beliefs, my values, what I'm thinking inside, my dreams, my aspirations, my ideas, what makes me tick, etc. They'll have *access* to all of that, so long as they give some of it back. It has to be mutual.