Much needed break

[Yuurei]

( This is probly not the right place for this. I don’t know where it’s supposed to go )

I know what you’re all thinking. “ Oh great, someone else is pouting and threatening to leave.” that, or “ OMG no one cares. Just go”
I have expressed a lot of depression lately, I don’t want anyone to worry over my absence.
I’m not angry at anyone or anything here.

Yesterday I received a phone call from my Dr., guess I have heart problems now: Pericarditis and a ‘leaky valve’.

It’s all due to high blood pressure, which started about a year ago. ( I am now certain it is was took out my kidney) I didn’t think it was a big deal, until I talked to my Mother:
“ It’s consistently been between 185/ 105 and 230/ 115 for a little over a year.”
She flipped her shit and asked if I know how lucky I am to be alive at all. I rolled my eyes and tolled my friend “ Mom’s being a drama Queen again!” but when I repeated those numbers to my friend he agreed with her.

So, I guess now I actually need to focus on taking care of myself, which is not something I’ve ever been any good at nor wanted to have to do.
I’ve got to deal with dialysis ( which has been much easier to since I switched to 3 hours 3x a week) appeasing my vile, sadistic parole officers, the diet that goes along with dialysis as well as one to try and deal with my BP-I’ve already given up caffeine cold turkey.
I need to find an exorcise routine which is enough to be good cardio but not too much for my heart to handle or to injure myself (last time I did 20 mins on the elipticle my ankle swelled up for a damned week) as well trying to decrease the few stress inducers which I have any control over, the main one being the internet, so I need to significantly cut back on that. It isn’t just this forum specifically, and I would this place more of a ‘distraction’ than cause of stress, but I can’t have those either. There are no negative feelings here.
Of course, since there is no way actually leave this forum, if anyone actually needs me ( can’t imagine why anyone would) you can always PM and I’ll see it through E-mail.

I expect this to be temporary, maybe a weeks, maybe a couple months.
Good luck to everyone in this crazy Corona-hysteria infested world.

 

[Luminous]

Good luck, Yuu. I hope everything improves for you considerably, as easily as it possibly can. Best wishes, truly.

 

[The Cat]

( This is probly not the right place for this. I don’t know where it’s supposed to go )

I know what you’re all thinking. “ Oh great, someone else is pouting and threatening to leave.” that, or “ OMG no one cares. Just go”
I have expressed a lot of depression lately, I don’t want anyone to worry over my absence.
I’m not angry at anyone or anything here.

Yesterday I received a phone call from my Dr., guess I have heart problems now: Pericarditis and a ‘leaky valve’.

It’s all due to high blood pressure, which started about a year ago. ( I am now certain it is was took out my kidney) I didn’t think it was a big deal, until I talked to my Mother:
“ It’s consistently been between 185/ 105 and 230/ 115 for a little over a year.”
She flipped her shit and asked if I know how lucky I am to be alive at all. I rolled my eyes and tolled my friend “ Mom’s being a drama Queen again!” but when I repeated those numbers to my friend he agreed with her.

So, I guess now I actually need to focus on taking care of myself, which is not something I’ve ever been any good at nor wanted to have to do.
I’ve got to deal with dialysis ( which has been much easier to since I switched to 3 hours 3x a week) appeasing my vile, sadistic parole officers, the diet that goes along with dialysis as well as one to try and deal with my BP-I’ve already given up caffeine cold turkey.
I need to find an exorcise routine which is enough to be good cardio but not too much for my heart to handle or to injure myself (last time I did 20 mins on the elipticle my ankle swelled up for a damned week) as well trying to decrease the few stress inducers which I have any control over, the main one being the internet, so I need to significantly cut back on that. It isn’t just this forum specifically, and I would this place more of a ‘distraction’ than cause of stress, but I can’t have those either. There are no negative feelings here.
Of course, since there is no way actually leave this forum, if anyone actually needs me ( can’t imagine why anyone would) you can always PM and I’ll see it through E-mail.

I expect this to be temporary, maybe a weeks, maybe a couple months.
Good luck to everyone in this crazy Corona-hysteria infested world.

Good luck, high blood pressure like that. It's a big deal. You really are quite lucky to still be kicking around. But I'm sure your fighter spirit can be applied to being more healthsome with aplomb. Feel better Yuu.

*Sends you 5 scrolls of lesser restoration.*
*And a healers kit*
*And a pretty kinky yaoi doujinshi*

 

[Hermit of the Forest]

Best wishes, [MENTION=29849]Yuu[/MENTION].

 

[cascadeco]

My Dad was experiencing vision issues, so went to an eye doctor to get a check; he was promptly forwarded to the E.R., with a blood pressure of 300+/ something. The nurses all told him he should be dead by that point, but he felt fine. Long story short, similar to you, either the kidney disease triggered an increase in b.p. or the undetected high b.p. for several years caused the kidney disease. Either way, I know they are linked, and he went through the whole diet change for a number of years, then eventually got a replacement kidney (from my mother!). The initial detection was.. hmm, probably 15 years ago now? He certainly has had challenges, and newer ones recently, but though diet change can be difficult and I know you have other health concerns on top of all of this, these things can be dealt with. Blood pressure is indeed something to stay on top of, and you health should be your number one priority. I wish you well!

 

[á´…eparted]

As I know you don't value or benefit from platitudes, I won't give them, but feel like I would remiss not to offer some sort of acknowledgement or support, so I will do so in the form of being blunt.

You have to take care of yourself if you want to continue to be alive. I think you will need to spend some of the time going into the future diging down deep, and see if you really do want to continue living the life you have. Regardless of what that answer is, understand why you have the answer that you do. Also, what has lead to you having that answer. Once you know and really know, ask yourself: "well, now what I am going to do with this?". Only you can answer. Finding your motivations, and seeing if the ones you have used in the past to get you to where you are are sustainable or not will be very important. You not only need to take care of your physical body, but your mental one since that supports engaging in physical self care, particular at such an intense level that you require to live.

The fact that you brushed off such a dangerously high blood pressure for so long and seem to have genuinely thought it wasn't a big deal is not a trifled data point. Those values are extremely medically significant. Blood pressure at those levels truly is not a matter of opinion. I have my own reasons why you seemed to have responded to all of this in the way you do, but I am not going to explain them. I think you'll stand to gain far more from figuring them out for yourself. In that way they will stick more. Once you do, figure how how you will deal and manage them - and your mechanisms of self-support - going forward.

Find your drives in this, take serious care of your body to the best of your ability, and when someone (who isn't a bad operator) tells you to take something seriously, do it. While for some this isn't the case, for others it is; these are not things of if you can, but if you want.

People do care about you.

 

[Yuurei]

As I know you don't value or benefit from platitudes, I won't give them, but feel like I would remiss not to offer some sort of acknowledgement or support, so I will do so in the form of being blunt.

You have to take care of yourself if you want to continue to be alive. I think you will need to spend some of the time going into the future diging down deep, and see if you really do want to continue living the life you have. Regardless of what that answer is, understand why you have the answer that you do. Also, what has lead to you having that answer. Once you know and really know, ask yourself: "well, now what I am going to do with this?". Only you can answer. Finding your motivations, and seeing if the ones you have used in the past to get you to where you are are sustainable or not will be very important. You not only need to take care of your physical body, but your mental one since that supports engaging in physical self care, particular at such an intense level that you require to live.

The fact that you brushed off such a dangerously high blood pressure for so long and seem to have genuinely thought it wasn't a big deal is not a trifled data point. Those values are extremely medically significant. Blood pressure at those levels truly is not a matter of opinion. I have my own reasons why you seemed to have responded to all of this in the way you do, but I am not going to explain them. I think you'll stand to gain far more from figuring them out for yourself. In that way they will stick more. Once you do, figure how how you will deal and manage them - and your mechanisms of self-support - going forward.

Find your drives in this, take serious care of your body to the best of your ability, and when someone (who isn't a bad operator) tells you to take something seriously, do it. While for some this isn't the case, for others it is; these are not things of if you can, but if you want.

People do care about you.

heh. I had no idea all of this was so transparent from my internet behavior, but you’re right, of course. I know I can be flippant about my own well-being, ( it can’t win if I don’t acknowledge it, right? ) this isn’t one of this cases. I was generally ignorant of the severity. Usually, my Dr will look me in the eye and say “ This is serious. You can’t shrug it off.”
I’m a little angry at him. When he first noticed that my kidney was starting to fail, he said that could not imagine why; his best guess was dehydration and told me to drink more water. He noticed my elevated BP, but barely mentioned it. “ It’s a little high. Take some meds for it.”
It wasn’t helping, still, he said little about it, for a year. He didn’t increase the dosage or offer serious IV meds. He didn’t seem worried so I didn’t worry. And since he was the Dr, I paid no mind while the dialysis nursed ‘ Mother-henned’ over me since I started in October.

Anyway, excuses or reasons really aren’t helpful. I just have to deal with it. All of the reasons you’ve given are why I’m taking my leave. I've never been much for introspection and I’ll take any distraction to keep from doing say.

I know people care about me-now-my friends have been doing everything they can to make taking care of myself a little easier. I have to admit, that I don’t like being ‘Mothered’ that the nurse at dialysis does so, when is busy with so many other patients is quite toiching.

Thank you for support and honesty.

 

[rav3n]

Sorry to hear this. Hope you get better soon and hopefully, your doctor's put you on something to help control your high blood pressure.

 

[Lexicon]

We'll leave the coffee on for ya, [MENTION=29849]Yuu[/MENTION].

 

[Vendrah]

Good luck.

 

[Merced]

Your health is important, please get lots of rest and take care of yourself. We value you.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Best wishes, [MENTION=29849]Yuu[/MENTION].

 

[Maou]

Get well soon, you are an important member to this community. You will be missed, and good luck.

 

[Stigmata]

I was meant to compile a few of your most notable posts to make a visual montage to go along with this song but then I got kinda lazy. Take care of yourself. Seriously...Maybe you'll come back at some point and show me what the fuck is going on in FF14.

 

[Pionart]

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Keep on goin' higher and higher, higher and higher, higher still.

 

[Population: 1]

I don’t doubt your resolve or your resilience. See you back here soon.

 

[Amberiat]

Take care of yourself and get well soon, Yuu. You're a strong person and I believe you deserve the best, I think you've gotten just about enough of the worst already.

We'll be waiting for you to come back, stay safe friend.

 

[Red Memories]

you are absolutely awesome, I've always admired your fighting spirit and candor, and hope you keep on kicking.

 

[Yuurei]

Thanks everyone for the support, truly. It means a great to deal to me.

I am currently taking a break from my break as I’m in the hospital yet again and probably will be for the next weeks.

As I do not need-hell, am not allowed-to focus on the medical side of my own health care while I am here, and since visitors are not allowed ( no one to bring me coffee) I figure I should switch gears in taking care to getting what human interaction I can.
So, here I am-whattup?

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Glad to see you back. Sorry that shit is so rough right now (or seemingly forever, in a way).