MBTI Type Humor

[edcoaching]

OK Here are some car ones...

While riding with some friends in my new Toyota


ISTJ: Good mileage in this model.
ESTJ: Fairly good mileage in this model.
ISTP: Put your foot down.
ESTP: The acceleration sucks.
ISFP: Nice stereo. Love that new car smell.
ESFP: Turn it up! I love this track!
ISFJ: Let me drive. You must be tired.
ESFJ: You can tell a good driver by how the passenger feels. Brake earlier.
INTP: *Thinking* Toyota~Hybrid~Hydrogen~Honda *scribbling on paper
ENTP: Have you seen Toyota's latest concept car.
INTJ: I know a quicker way home.
ENTJ: Take this way. Turn left now! Turn right now!
INFJ: Buy a Prius next time.
ENFJ: Here's my Prius dealers card.
INFP: I drive a Prius.
ENFP: It's gorgeous!

Yeah, and I do own a Prius...now in need of a brake job

 

[Unkindloving]

These are all fantastic.. and maybe why Fuzzcrossed asked if i have a Prius.

 

[Space_Oddity]

ESTJ: Okay, so I'm supposed to spend 1 hour with my new lady because it will please her pity emotions. Well I guess, it could work... for now.

I wish this weren't so true...

*thinks of her ESTJ boyfriend*

I wish this weren't so true, too... ^-^;;;

 

[Tamske]

ESTJ: Okay, so I'm supposed to spend 1 hour with my new lady because it will please her pity emotions. Well I guess, it could work... for now.

I wish this weren't so true...

I am so glad it IS true. Don't lose time on my emotions. There are much more interesting things in the world! What about building a trebuchet?
If you want to console a sad ENTP, get him/her started on a project

INTP: Analyzing: q+x+ds*{error} = else if - x+? = logical .... ok I'm in love

ENTP: I've never felt like this before. I feel like I can do anything.... (quits job, to live on the streets and preach like a prophet about the experience of love)

Fairly accurate. Mix them up and you get me. I'll preach about my analysis of love

 

[EJCC]

Don't lose time on my emotions. There are much more interesting things in the world! What about building a trebuchet?

This is the most ENTP-ish ENTP-ism I've ever seen!

 

[Tamske]

ENTP-ism! (I was exaggerating a bit. But I'm sure that, if you find me in a dip, "let's build a trebuchet" would get me out of it much quicker than "talk about your feelings".)

Reminds me. I was trying to find type metaphors. Maybe these fit into a type humor thread:

Positive ones:

as reliable as an ESTJ
as diligent as an ISTJ
as social as an ESFJ
as loyal as an ISFJ

as visionary as an ENTJ
as independent as an INTJ
as interested as an ENTP
as cool as an INTP

as connected as an ESTP
as creative as an ISTP
as warm as an ESFP
as tolerant as an ISFP

as motivating as an ENFJ
as helpful as an INFJ
as enthousiast as an ENFP
as sweet as an INFP

Negative ones:

as bossy as an ESTJ
as stick-in-the-mud as an ISTJ
as protective as an ESFJ
as clingy as an ISFJ

as dictatorial as an ENTJ
as evil as an INTJ
as bored as an ENTP
as dorky as an INTP

as dodgy as an ESTP
as affectionless as an ISTP
as shallow as an ESFP
as lazy as an ISFP

as manipulative as an ENFJ
as proud as an INFJ
as whimsical as an ENFP
as irrational as an INFP

 

[simulatedworld]

If you're going for generic stereotypes, I think you mixed up INTP ("cool") and ISTP ("creative"), wouldn't you say?

 

[ajblaise]

If you're going for generic stereotypes, I think you mixed up INTP ("cool") and ISTP ("creative"), wouldn't you say?

Just go with it.

 

[Tamske]

I just wanted to make things like... if you want to say something is very hard, you say it's hard as rock, or as diamond. If you want to say someone is very cool, is he as cool as an ISTP? Or as cool as an INTP?
To me, both types seem quite cool, actually, but in a different way.

The ones I'm the most proud of are (unsurprisingly) the contradictory ENTP ones.

Type humor again?
An ISTJ, an ENFP and an ISFP walk into a bar... what happens?

 

[Tamske]

I know!

The ISTJ nods to the barman and says "The usual." The barman taps him a pint of ale.
The ISFP smiles, because that's the way he knows his ISTJ friend.
The ENFP nods to the barman and says "The usual."
The ISFP is totally flabbergasted.

The barman is flabbergasted, too.

 

[simulatedworld]

I just wanted to make things like... if you want to say something is very hard, you say it's hard as rock, or as diamond. If you want to say someone is very cool, is he as cool as an ISTP? Or as cool as an INTP?
To me, both types seem quite cool, actually, but in a different way.

The ones I'm the most proud of are (unsurprisingly) the contradictory ENTP ones.

Type humor again?
An ISTJ, an ENFP and an ISFP walk into a bar... what happens?

SPs are typically associated with being "cool" because Se leads them to a make of point of being aware of trends. Most ISTPs that I know are "the cool guy" in their social group. They're always with a new girl, always have nice clothes, etc. (I only know one female ISTP and am not really sure if this is true for her.)

INTPs, on the other hand, are typically among the most socially awkward of all the types, so "cool" (even though I personally think some of them are very cool) is not a very accurate stereotype for them. Ne is associated with abstract creativity, so "creative" is often a stereotypical description of any xNxP type.

Not saying ISTPs can't be creative or INTPs can't be cool, just that since you were intentionally going for stereotypes, you've really got those two backwards.

 

[EJCC]

An ISTJ, an ENFP and an ISFP walk into a bar... what happens?

They each go up and talk to the bartender:

ENFP/J: "I need a drink so bad! Today was, like, one big stress attack! All my friends kept asking me for favors and I couldn't say no, and so I got totally overloaded with CRAP, and hey that reminds me of a story!..."

ISTJ: "What my friend meant to say was that she'd just like water. No more alcohol for HER tonight."

ISFP: "Dude, bartender, that Frank Zappa poster is bitchin."

Bartender (ENTP): says nothing, gets the ENFP her water and starts daydreaming about building a robot that will do this stupid job for him

 

[Speed Gavroche]

These are awesome !
... but where are the ENTPs ?

I know! They are gone from the island in a boat which has the coolest prow ever but no hull nor sails.
Thirty kilometers from the island, one of the male ENTPs realizes just why the female ESTJ didn't want to come with them...

Actually, ENTPs are responsive of the shiprweck. They wanted to improve the speed of the boat, and have concept a new combustion motor wich was supposed to allow the boat to move at 200 miles/hour. The model was almost perfect...almost.

Just after the shiprweck, the ESTJs have proclamed the ENTP's culpability and order to kill them, what the ISTJs have done with efficiency and discipline. Poor ENTPs.

 

[Johnfloyd6675]

Mayor of Chicago for a Day

ISTJ: Porn banned, riots ensue; Mayor replaced by ringleader of the porn riots; new government compared to "a 3-year old sociopath playing Sim City drunk."
ESTJ: *Pssst. Buy stock in companies that make jackboots*
ISTP: Unsuccessfully prosecuted ESTJ for insider trading. Bored for rest of day.
ESTP: Yelling
ISFP: Yelling in an indoor voice
ESFP: Cops can come up to you with no warrant or anything to give you a hug
ISFJ: Cops told to stop embarrassing the city and go fight crime. Firefighters told to hug citizens instead.
ESFJ: It took the National Guard almost a week to dislodge the ESFJ's right-wing militia from the city.
INTP: An unnamed source in the Economist said they're setting up a secret police, but it's very hush-hush.
ENTP: The Mayor led a commando raid of secret policemen and shot several crack dealers dead, then ordered the SWAT team to raze the high-rise with explosives. When our reporter asked the Mayor why, the Mayor slapped him with his glove. We don't really know about the whole high rise thing. Probably just for fun.
INTJ: Mafia hitmen inexplicably assassinated fifteen of the Mayor's enemies on City Council this morning
ENTJ: The Mayor rehired the former secret police and ordered a judge to order that all secret policemen have the same rights as Judge Dredd
INFJ: The whole Judge Dredd thing spirals a little out of control
ENFJ: The Mayor passes legislation that will prevent felons from owning assault weapons. Later that night, the Mayor was arrested for hitting his wife with a bronze statue of his own head.
INFP: Doesn't want to fire the secret police because they'll be sad, so buys them all 12 kittens each to keep them off the street
ENFP: Uses the kittens as bait for sting operations. A decorated officer, just back from a 3 week vacation, died of an allergic reaction. Mayor orders that all cats be stuck up in trees and unable to come down. Speaking of "coming down," that Mayor was arrested today after federal agents found "about a half a ton" of cocaine under the Mayor's very large desk.

 

[Rebe]

If Trapped on a Desert Island:

ESTJ: Tirelessly collects coconuts
ISTJ: Counts, categorises and inventories ESTJ's coconuts
ISTP: Fashions a spear and promptly kills a shark
ESTP: Starts selling coconuts to the highest bidders
ISFP: Kicks back under a palm tree and enjoys his holiday
ESFP: Can't stop talking about having a Luau
ESFJ: Organises a Luau
ISFJ: Worries about everything
ENFP: Demands protection for the rest of the lagoons sharks
INFP: Climbs the nearest mountain and gets back intouch with his inner self
INTP: Goes into withdrawal due to lack of technology
ENTP: Fashions a hotair balloon out of banana leaves and seaweed rope and laughs at the others as the wind carries him away
INTJ: Lectures the ISTJ on the inefficiencies in his counting system
ENTJ: Starts planning a 13 story tree hotel
INFJ: Envisions a new idyllic societal structure for the island
ENFJ: Says "come on everyone, follow me!" as he paddles out to sea on a log only to drift back three days later

I prefer the ENFP one to the INFP one, even the INFJ but otherwise ...

 

[miss fortune]

the ESTP wouldn't be yelling... they'd be taking the mayoral jet for a thrill ride despite never having taken flying lessons... the thrill ride quickly turns into skydiving after jets prove to be more difficult to fly than expected

 

[goodgrief]

How would each Type react to:

Realizing they're in love: (hey, what did you expect from an INFP? )

I dunno much about others people types. Here's my reaction though when I found out I was.

INTJ: "Wow. I think I am in love with that person. But wait. Maybe it's just infatuation. Let me think. Are we compatible? Well I'm pretty sure they're INTP MBTI type so we're pretty close that way. Yes, our interests are quite similar, although she gets annoyed by that show I love. I hope I will be able to handle that. I could probably live with it. She's an N so our conversations will be suitably intuitive and be able to hold my interest for a conceivable amount of time. She has a lower attention span than me, which can occasionally be annoying, since she doesn't remember what I tell her. I don't find her particularly physically attractive, but I would not be dettered and personality is more important. Speaking fo which, will she be able to challenge me intellectually. As far as I have seen she is quite intelligent and her knowledge areas and beliefs are similar to mine. She can be a bit misanthropic at times, but the values she complains about the lack of are good. Her sense of humour is appropriate and makes me laugh, and I am reasonably capable of making her laugh as well. Overall I think we are quite compatible. Well that settles it.

There is a 80% chance I am in love. Now what to do about it..."

I'll try one other.

ESFP: Runs up to person and kisses them passionately.

 

[Rebe]

^ oh good grief ...

istp: oh my god she is kinky, i am in love (with a stripper)

infp: i don't know how i feel. i don't know how you feel. i don't understand this concept of love. maybe i should just try it and see how it goes. maybe. i don't know though. okay, fine it's try it. but...i really don't know though. but i do like this feeling. but i don't really understand this feeling. but i do like it.

 

[Johnfloyd6675]

EDIT: I am sorry you are reading this. This post didn't turn out like we'd hoped because of some technical issues, including the inability to delete one's own posts, that entrusted me the responsibility of writing this unattractive sentence.

 

[Tamske]

Needed to search this thread back...
Collective Nouns for the types!

A hierarchy or ESTJs
A rank-and-file of ISTJs
A family of ESFJs
A group of ISFJs

A war of ENTJs (well, face it, if you have more than one ENTJ, you'd have war )
An intrigue of INTJs
A Monte Carlo of ENTPs (you can be lucky with them, but...)
A matrix of INTPs

An arrangement of ESTPs
A shed of ISTPs
A festival of ESFPs
A studio of ISFPs

A choir of ENFJs (as in "preaching to the choir")
A mentorate of INFJs
A possibility of ENFPs
A dream of INFPs