[Type 4] Looking for 4w5 sx/so examples

[small.wonder]

Thanks! I feel compelled to spoiler my reply because it runs more personal about sx-last than I'm comfortable occupying the full page space with in an sx/so thread, though it may be of relevance as a comparison to sx.

Nope, we're on the same page. What's funny is that out of my immediate family (in which I suspect all of us are sx-last!), I am the most like what you describe in this paragraph, perhaps because of 4. Because of this, I had an sx-like self-image when I was younger that slowly got refuted as I moved away and got to know a wider range of people, many of whom wish they were less impulsive. What different life it would be that leads someone to work for that rather than the opposite of more immediate expression, and yet I can still relate to some of them over having the same core type. It's just that one of us is inside out.

I have a theory that sx-last is the type most prone to being misunderstood as contrived when they express their emotions, but I'm blocked for now on explaining how this works.


This exactly answers my question.


I consider my first and second instinctual variants to be very close in strength, which in my experience expresses as a more balanced push/pull between these two tendencies affected by level of health and situation. When reading about what variants look like through specifically a 4 lens, often I'll be stumped between sp-first and so-first. What breaks the tie in the end is going back to what the basic triggers of the variants are regardless of type. I see them as a series of three locked boxes nested within each other, the one on the outside being sp and the one in the core being sx, and the unlocking of a box meaning that I've become confident (in my own 4-colored way) in the respective instinctual sphere. sp must be unlocked before any of the others, and sx only after the others. Another guiding question that seals sp-first is: if you could only satisfy one instinct, which would you be the most psychologically functional living on whilst totally deprived of the other two?


That said, I can become too inwardly focused to realize how sp-like I'm objectively being. This is because I have access to the feelings underneath and know the full extent of their storminess. When someone else says that they see me as unemotional or as being tougher than I experience myself inside, it catches me off guard. It's a little satisfying to tell that observer that they have no idea. I'm just barely holding it back, they've never seen it pop out. Also, I will do a lot of things alone and cope with that as if it's the only option, later to be confused when others say they would never be able to do such a thing without help.


This is where there's a countertype buffer. I'll pound into my head for years that I don't need connection, that I can and must be able to survive on my own because it's my lot as an outsider etc etc core distortions, but in the end, what you say here is what's really true. I hunger for intimacy no less than anyone.


Your response was both insightful into the experiences I had in mind and consistent with what I've read - what very little there is to read - about the expression of sx-lastness in type 4.

On sx/so 4w5, I don't have examples but can imagine the type and believe that any variant on a core is possible. However, I do suspect some variants will show up more often than others in types with traits that they reinforce. So, while an sp-last 4w5 is possible, I don't expect there to be as many of them as the other variants among 4w5s. However, sx-first in general may be more frequent in 4s than it would be among other cores.

I totally agree with your last paragraph here, likeliness of instincts for 4's might go something like Sx/Sp, Sp/Sx, So/So, Sp/Sp, So/Sp, Sx/So.

As to everything else, I so loved reading your response about your instinctual place in your family vs. the world and your actual need for intimacy (despite being Sp first). I kind of don't want to reply too much here, since most of it was your experience (nothing to add, just glad to hear your insight! ) I must however, comment on how cool the locked box picture to describe instincts is, and this question: "if you could only satisfy one instinct, which would you be the most psychologically functional living on whilst totally deprived of the other two?". Mine is undoubtedly Sx. Such a great way to pinpoint instincts (if the person understands what each one is, anyway)!

I thought I'd point you to this thread I just started to compile a better look at exactly what we are talking about here, the variety among types in the Enneagram!