Jealousy and Envy

[SillySapienne]

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For as long as I can remember I have always been intrigued by both of these human qualities.

That being stated, I would love for you guys to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with jealousy and envy.

So, please state your type, and your sex and the scenarios in which you find/found yourself feeling either jealous or envious.

And please be as honest as possible in your responses.

Thanks much!!!

 

[Jeffster]

Cause jealousy and envy, and you still act friendly
You could find the end and pretend to be

Friends will let you down
Friends wont be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
Talkin bout your friends

 

[Kora]

Today I've felt terribly envious. I was walking through my town and saw the boy I 'like' (or feel attracted to, or whatever) with his new girlfriend. And I feel envious not because she's with him, I feel envious because I lack that charm for attracting a guy. I talk to that boy usually, and we have a lot in common... yet, I'm not the kind of girl a guy likes. Maybe I'm too dry or distant. That girl is not a bad person, but she's rather plain.
So I envy that 'charm' some girls have.

(Wow I feel stupid)

 

[Thursday]

I have tried and tried to recall ever feeling that way, but to no avail.
I'm an INFP male.

 

[Lady_X]

well in all honestly i don't think i've felt it and it surprises me when i see it in others...i don't get it. i feel no personal entitlement to things other people have.

 

[Edgar]

Today I've felt terribly envious. I was walking through my town and saw the boy I 'like' (or feel attracted to, or whatever) with his new girlfriend. And I feel envious not because she's with him, I feel envious because I lack that charm for attracting a guy. I talk to that boy usually, and we have a lot in common... yet, I'm not the kind of girl a guy likes. Maybe I'm too dry or distant. That girl is not a bad person, but she's rather plain.
So I envy that 'charm' some girls have.

(Wow I feel stupid)

Yes, it's never pleasant when a NT realizes that her/his mastery of knowledge of certain subject has little relation to the mastery of the application of that knowledge.

 

[Thursday]

well in all honestly i don't think i've felt it and it surprises me when i see it in others...i don't get it. i feel no personal entitlement to things other people have.

" all we have to see
is that i don't belong to you, and you don't belong to me.....freedom "
George Micheal

 

[SillySapienne]

I am a female ENFP and I have never been prone to feeling either jealousy or envy.

I think this has something to do with my Fi and confidence, i.e. I am very concerned with who I am and my life and far less concerned with comparing myself to other people and their lives.

There is one type of jealousy that I do experience, and that is romantic jealousy, *sigh*, unfortunately. When I am in love with a guy I can and do feel pangs of jealousy regarding my fear-induced perception of nonexistent threats. :blushing: But, I handle my jealousy relatively well, I *never* take it out on the girl whom I deem a threat and rather temporarily act like a bitch towards my SO only to later apologize and explain that I was feeling jealous.

Envy, I rarely if ever feel, and the type of envy I experience is like, Oh you got to go to Tahiti?!?!?!? Luckkyyyyy!!!!! But it is never a contemptuous kind of envy like, damn you, *I* should be going to Tahiti, not *you*, bleh, never!!!

To be honest, jealousy and envy kind of scare me when I witness these behaviors/attitudes in other people.

What good ever comes of feeling either of these things?

 

[SillySapienne]

Today I've felt terribly envious. I was walking through my town and saw the boy I 'like' (or feel attracted to, or whatever) with his new girlfriend. And I feel envious not because she's with him, I feel envious because I lack that charm for attracting a guy. I talk to that boy usually, and we have a lot in common... yet, I'm not the kind of girl a guy likes. Maybe I'm too dry or distant. That girl is not a bad person, but she's rather plain.
So I envy that 'charm' some girls have.

(Wow I feel stupid)

I appreciate your honest response, thank you!!!



Oh, and, some guys like vanilla, while other guys like some spice.

 

[Valiant]

When someone wins the lottery I kind of get jealous I also want to win! I've cut down on my smoking habits drastically, and instead of wasting them on cancer sticks, I waste them at gambling! It's not much and I will always find some way to waste money, it might as well be something that has a slight possibility of fortune in it.

Anyway... I get jealous when people that already have a lot win money without having gambled a lot

EDIT: Not very much, though. Yeah... Some.

 

[Dwigie]

I'm a nasty envious and jealous bitch, my name is Dwigie, I'm 17, "Hi".

Been that way ever since I can remember and it manifested itself in fierce obsessive compulsory competitiveness for all things, palpable or not and at times over achievement.
I didn't do it to because I felt entitled to people's belongings or affection, I was just measuring my own self-worth by others. I have less "x"= I am less "x".
This combined by a habit of noticing what good qualities people possessed first sent me on a mission to restore my self-worth by "bringing" myself to their level.
My self-esteem was either sky-high or downtrodden by the failures and losses the achievements and the victories. I was a thief and still am, sometimes not consciously but I have a pretty "revealing" habit of sweeping the entire surroundings and picking everything in sight regardless to whom it belongs to without thinking.I realize later on I stole something and return it.
Interestingly enough, being aware of this feeling of worthlessness in myself increased my compassion for people because I sometimes "put people in my shoes" to their own benefit and not the other way if that makes sense. I thought people's self-worth was as fragile as mine and made sure to pamper them for this reason by being generous and trying to instill equality in everything.(equality=harmony to me). Basically the boundary between me and others has always been a very big problem for me.


I still have trouble controlling it, but I don't "manifest" so nobody knows.
When we are feeling insecure we get jealous or envious of others if we think about it though.
If everything is going well on our side, there's no need to check elsewhere unless it is to provide or take something.
(I rambled and confused myself a bit actually)

 

[Edgar]

I'm a nasty envious and jealous bitch, my name is Dwigie, I'm 17, "Hi".

Don't say anything more... I like you already.

 

[Dwigie]

Don't say anything more... I like you already.

Lol!

 

[SillySapienne]

I'm a nasty envious and jealous bitch, my name is Dwigie, I'm 17, "Hi".

Been that way ever since I can remember and it manifested itself in fierce obsessive compulsory competitiveness for all things, palpable or not and at times over achievement.
I didn't do it to because I felt entitled to people's belongings or affection, I was just measuring my own self-worth by others. I have less "x"= I am less "x".
This combined by a habit of noticing what good qualities people possessed first sent me on a mission to restore my self-worth by "bringing" myself to their level.
My self-esteem was either sky-high or downtrodden by the failures and losses the achievements and the victories. I was a thief and still am, sometimes not consciously but I have a pretty "revealing" habit of sweeping the entire surroundings and picking everything in sight regardless to whom it belongs to without thinking.I realize later on I stole something and return it.
Interestingly enough, being aware of this feeling of worthlessness in myself increased my compassion for people because I sometimes "put people in my shoes" to their own benefit and not the other way if that makes sense. I thought people's self-worth was as fragile as mine and made sure to pamper them for this reason by being generous and trying to instill equality in everything(equality=harmony to me). Basically the boundaries between me and others has always been a very big problem for me.


I still have trouble controlling it, but I don't "manifest" so nobody knows.
when we are feeling insecure do we get jealous or envious of others if we think about it though.
If everything is going well on our side, there's no need to check elsewhere unless it is to provide or take something.
(I rambled and confused myself a bit actually)

Wow, thank you so much for this thoughtfully honest response.

I do think that jealousy and envy are related to one's feelings of self-worth and whether or not they derive this self-worth primarily via intrinsic or extrinsic means.

 

[01011010]

MBTI: INTJ
Gender: XX

I think I've been jealous once. Though, I can't verify that as truth. One of my friends was trying to lord ownership over my current girlfriend. I'm still not sure what my feelings were exactly, but I told the friend to back off.

 

[SillySapienne]

I think I've been jealous once. Though, I can't verify that as truth. One of my friends was trying to lord ownership over my current girlfriend. I'm still not sure what my feelings were exactly, but I told the friend to back off.

I am pretty sure that is a form of romantic jealousy.

And what does "lord ownership" mean?

 

[The Ü™]

I am very jealous not by anyone in particular most of the time, but of the world in general. Jealousy and envy compels me to want to take the joy out of others.

 

[Anja]

Can't do jealousy. I tried it on as a teen and it didn't fit good. Hurt.

I suppose it helped to have been born into a family which had enough material things. And I had "good enough" parenting, plus the willingness to set straight the errors which caused me problems in later life by making some changes.

I can honestly say that the only time I am stung with envy is when I see grandparents with their grandchildren.

And that emotion still stings.

There is no desire to rob them of their joy, though, and I am able to appreciate their joy vicariously.

But I am most familiar with what it feels like to want something that someone else has and I don't. Sigh.

My secret "sin?" Sometimes when I'm particularly jonesing I do a sour grapes and think, "Oh heck. Good thing I don't have grandkids. They'd probably be little monsters, anyway."

All better then? NOT!

 

[SillySapienne]

I am very jealous not by anyone in particular most of the time, but of the world in general. Jealousy and envy compels me to want to take the joy out of others.

I don't think you are alone in feeling/thinking this way.

And it is this that I find to be scary and no offense, but also morally wrong.

Why would you want others to be unhappy?

What would that solve?

How would that make anything, or anyone better?

 

[01011010]

I am pretty sure that is a form of romantic jealousy.

And what does "lord ownership" mean?

I'm pleased I can feel those emotions.

lol Lord as in Lording over. Ownership as in asserting herself unnecessarily into what should be my position or relationship dynamic, with my gf.