is working with people turning me antisocial?!

[miss fortune]

sorry to start a thread when I've been more of a lurker or non-presence lately...

I've been working in sales for the past 7 months and am forced to interact with people and be nice to them (ok- I sometimes fail at the last part) on a daily basis. I meet a lot of interesting people and a majority of them are pleasant, but at the end of the day there's nothing I want to do more than to retreat home! When going out I even have narrowed down who I hang out with to just a small, select group of friends- this whole chatting up strangers thing just doesn't happen anymore like it used to.

Is it possible that forced interaction can make a person an introvert? Or did I have antisocial tendancies in the first place?

 

[Amargith]

Yup. When I worked as a receptionnist, I had 3 phonelines at once coming in, customers to help, clients to put on the waiting list and doctors who nagged at me. At the end of the day, I was about ready to kill anyone who was stupid enough to call me on my phone and didn't wanna see another computerscreen ever again. And social obligations became pure torture. Once I left, the computerscreen thing vanished, but I still cannot stand my phone and I'm moody on the social obligations

 

[Snow Turtle]

Don't think I've ever met as many people but there comes a time where I just really can't be bothered interacting with friends or strangers. It all feels the same and becomes really pointless, jumping from one person to another. What's the point in knowing so many people but spending so little time with them?

Course that's an introverts view of when he has too many aquaintances wanting to become friends.

 

[prplchknz]

well maybe the people coming in suck, and so it's their fault. see if they weren't so lame you wouldn't be as exhausted I'd say I don't know what you should do.

 

[entropie]

WHATEEEVVEEERR YOU ARE BACK

Been missin you here already !

YES working with people can turn you on, no I mean antisocial .

I have that often that after a day of work I talked alot on the job, I have no real motivation to talk to friends on an evening out. If my friends would talk about work-related topics, I could prolly talk to them, but because they dont, getting into their mindset sometimes is too taxing then.

 

[sculpting]

Interacting with people I like to talk to is stimulating. Having to interact with people I am forced to is exhausting as it requires Si style focus. It becomes work, not fun.

 

[Usehername]

Whatever is back!


Woo!

(As an introvert I feel I have nothing of substance to contribute.)

 

[Oaky]

sorry to start a thread when I've been more of a lurker or non-presence lately...

I've been working in sales for the past 7 months and am forced to interact with people and be nice to them (ok- I sometimes fail at the last part) on a daily basis. I meet a lot of interesting people and a majority of them are pleasant, but at the end of the day there's nothing I want to do more than to retreat home! When going out I even have narrowed down who I hang out with to just a small, select group of friends- this whole chatting up strangers thing just doesn't happen anymore like it used to.

Is it possible that forced interaction can make a person an introvert? Or did I have antisocial tendancies in the first place?

No, it's not that your becoming antisocial. It's that who your socializing with forces you to change your personality type at the given situation. Changing personalities is what is exhausting you. If everyone you were working with were your friends (as in friends that you can 'be yourself' around) you wouldn't have this problem.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

sorry to start a thread when I've been more of a lurker or non-presence lately...

I've been working in sales for the past 7 months and am forced to interact with people and be nice to them (ok- I sometimes fail at the last part) on a daily basis. I meet a lot of interesting people and a majority of them are pleasant, but at the end of the day there's nothing I want to do more than to retreat home! When going out I even have narrowed down who I hang out with to just a small, select group of friends- this whole chatting up strangers thing just doesn't happen anymore like it used to.

Is it possible that forced interaction can make a person an introvert? Or did I have antisocial tendancies in the first place?

I think I can somewhat relate to this. When I interact with a lot of people, but my mind isn't stimulated I feel physically energized, but mentally starved in a way. Conversely, at my current job I have interesting things to think about, but I rarely interact with everyone so I still feel drained in a more physical way even if my mind seems nourished. As an ENxP the ideal is some sort of external stimulation that also feeds your mind.

 

[Athenian200]

sorry to start a thread when I've been more of a lurker or non-presence lately...

I've been working in sales for the past 7 months and am forced to interact with people and be nice to them (ok- I sometimes fail at the last part) on a daily basis. I meet a lot of interesting people and a majority of them are pleasant, but at the end of the day there's nothing I want to do more than to retreat home! When going out I even have narrowed down who I hang out with to just a small, select group of friends- this whole chatting up strangers thing just doesn't happen anymore like it used to.

Is it possible that forced interaction can make a person an introvert? Or did I have antisocial tendencies in the first place?

It's hard to say. I think it's possible that you're just overstimulating your Extraversion, and your mind needs Introversion for balance at the end of the day. It's funny, though, because I thought Extraverts were supposed to be energized by people. Apparently that's only true to a certain extent. I wonder what the Es have to say about it?

In my opinion, it could. Seriously, most of them are so annoying and dumb. Being constantly confronted with them in a work situation could show you just how much.

By the way, some people were talking about you while you were gone...

Whatever Gets You Off...

 

[NewEra]

Nice to see you back, stick around. Sounds like you're not a strong extrovert. I don't know about antisocial (that's like going against the rules and being reckless), and usually extroverts are good at being anti-social, but it could be bringing out your introverted side. If it were me though, I'd have gotten sick of it far before.

 

[JAVO]

I think forced interaction is at fault. I'm definitely more introverted when I'm forced to interact, especially if interacting is the work itself.

 

[Lethe]

I have the opposite reaction: when I'm working with people, I transform into my Te/Se mode -- "We have to get this done, now!" -- and plow right through the obstacles. It energizes me as if I were on my own. Nonetheless, I don't have nearly the same energy for casual socializing.

Is it possible that forced interaction can make a person an introvert? Or did I have antisocial tendencies in the first place?

Even extroverts will exhaust themselves in a social environment eventually. It's the preferences, not the mileage. Preferring to do something never guarantees skill. For instance, many American Idol hopefuls take delight in singing, yet few have the actual talent.

Extroverts, how much nonstop socializing and noise can you take before you break?

 

[kelric]

Nice to see you around, Whatever

I think it's probably just that everyone has their limits to interaction - and that forced interaction as part of a job is a whole different set of stresses than even interacting with a lot of people in a more casual (ie, purely social) setting. I don't know much about sales (understatement there ), but my guess is that although you're surrounded by people, you're not really free to be yourself - you're having to route your behavior through the funnel of behavior and goals that are part of your job - and not just be *you*. I'm thinking of what you'd normally do to someone who was being a jerk/stupid/selfish/annoying (ha ha, I'm *so* diggin' for some more fun Whatever-stories )... and how you might be expected to act differently with a prospective customer.

If that's true (and I think it is for an awful lot of people at work, in various ways), it makes sense that you'd be a little more reluctant to put yourself in a similar sort of situation when not working - sort of an unconscious response to having your "normal" self stressed in unusual ways at work?

But hey, if nothing else you know what it's like among the introvert crowd .

 

[alcea rosea]

Is it possible that forced interaction can make a person an introvert? Or did I have antisocial tendancies in the first place?

I think it (forced interaction ith people) can make even a strong extrovert need more introversion.

I've been feeling the same way lately too.

And nice to see you around, whatever. :hi:

 

[miss fortune]

Thanks! For a bit of background...

I've been working in direct marketing and in home sales lately, partly as research for a book that I'm having my arm twisted to write by a foundation chair... it's certainly an interesting experience- I usually am interacting with the same group of people for about 2 hours or so at a time and then move on to others, but I get the nagging feeling that my natural personality type isn't what the bosses really want us to be Most of my really successful coworkers are ESxPs (don't get me wrong here, my coworkers are absolutley great- it just gets scary to have only 3 Ns in the whole office!)

As one of the few girls working there I'm pretty much expected to be a stereotypical ESFP on the job (which is at least not the same stretch as my INTJ coworker endures while trying, and failing miserably, to be an ESTP ) Reading the replies here made me think... is it necissarily having to be extroverted that's causing the issues or having to tone down my other normal traits and play up other traits?

Maybe having to act like another type all day just isn't good for the brain?

and kelric? no fears, I have plenty of stories, I'll get around to reopening the blog in due time

 

[nightning]

Welcome back whatever! Was wondering where you've been...

Reading the replies here made me think... is it necissarily having to be extroverted that's causing the issues or having to tone down my other normal traits and play up other traits?

Maybe having to act like another type all day just isn't good for the brain?

Well, I would have thought that acting to be something you're not... whether it be type, or any other personality traits... will take something out of a person. It is a unnatural state to run counter to your normal behaviour. It's like you have to check yourself every time you wanted to act your way but you can't and have to "play nice" and act in another way. Obviously as you mention, there are degrees of unnaturalness. The more different your base behaviour is from what's required... the more strain it puts on your mental restrain. Push over the limit... one often just snap (become grouchy and refuse to comply). I wouldn't say it is bad for your mind on the whole because the mind is a very resilient thing.

 

[kelric]

Maybe having to act like another type all day just isn't good for the brain?

Welcome back whatever! Was wondering where you've been...
Well, I would have thought that acting to be something you're not... whether it be type, or any other personality traits... will take something out of a person. It is a unnatural state to run counter to your normal behaviour. It's like you have to check yourself every time you wanted to act your way but you can't and have to "play nice" and act in another way. Obviously as you mention, there are degrees of unnaturalness. The more different your base behaviour is from what's required... the more strain it puts on your mental restrain. Push over the limit... one often just snap (become grouchy and refuse to comply). I wouldn't say it is bad for your mind on the whole because the mind is a very resilient thing.

I think that's it... anytime you're forced to spend a lot of time acting unnaturally, it tends to stress/tire you out, and you'll tend to want to stay away from that sort of thing when you can. I know that it works that way for me, anyway.

and kelric? no fears, I have plenty of stories, I'll get around to reopening the blog in due time

 

[Domino]

Hello, my darling!!!

When I was a mechanic, I'd be so physically drained by the work and emotionally/mentally drained by the boys (and men think women are cold/crude when they get in groups and talk?!) that I would go home and lay on my bed semi-unconscious and avoid the phone.

Bracing up under the derogatory conversations, I'd get "peopled-out" and hole up somewhere. Having to act unnatural will do that.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Hello, my darling!!!

When I was a mechanic, I'd be so physically drained by the work and emotionally/mentally drained by the boys (and men think women are cold/crude when they get in groups and talk?!) that I would go home and lay on my bed semi-unconscious and avoid the phone.

Bracing up under the derogatory conversations, I'd get "peopled-out" and hole up somewhere. Having to act unnatural will do that.

That sucks.


On topic: I seem to have the opposite going on. I'm fairly asocial at work. (feigned social). But it improves my social behaviour outside of work. Like a subconscious compromise. I suppose it just sucks to have certain responsibilities at work when in a dominant position. Blegh.