Introverts! How have you developed your social skills overtime?

[Maou]

The premise is wrong. Introverts are fully capable of socializing when they need to. The stereotypical definition that one who's able to socialize fluently is an extrovert is preposterous.

This thread is almost a year old (when I first joined), and I am more educated on the introversion and extroversion aspects now. But thanks for reminding me how far ive come.

 

[Yuurei]

The premise is wrong. Introverts are fully capable of socializing when they need to. The stereotypical definition that one who's able to socialize fluently is an extrovert is preposterous.

Sometimes I think they spread this stereotype themselves so they do not have to learn any proper social interaction.

My hair dresser as well as therapist is an introvert. yet she is a very socialized and friendly woman.

My best friend is also an introvert. When she gets bored she loves to spend time with her friends out of the house and when she's had enough of people, sometimes I wont hear from her for weeks. It's perfectly normal.

 

[Sacrophagus]

This thread is almost a year old (when I first joined), and I am more educated on the introversion and extroversion aspects now. But thanks for reminding me how far ive come.

Good for you. The discussion about the stereotype remains since it's not of your own making, rather something that persists.

 

[Tilt]

Introversion = conservation of energy wrt socializing. Extroversion = expansion of energy wrt socializing.

 

[Pionart]

Introversion = conservation of energy wrt socializing. Extroversion = expansion of energy wrt socializing.

Socialising isn't that connected to extroversion, c'mon now.

It ties into Fe in particular, but extroversion is just an external/objective focus, it can even occur in your own mind. e.g. if you have a primarily verbal train of thought, that is extroverted judgement.

dk what else say

 

[Tilt]

Socialising isn't that connected to extroversion, c'mon now.

It ties into Fe in particular, but extroversion is just an external/objective focus, it can even occur in your own mind. e.g. if you have a primarily verbal train of thought, that is extroverted judgement.

dk what else say

That doesn't negate or contradict what I am saying. Introversion is containment of energy and is more selective about socializing (where the energy is directed) so it doesn't dictate your ability to socialize. I am Fe dom but I am fairly muted in my socialability.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

I developed conversation-ending skills, mad skillz. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

The premise is wrong. Introverts are fully capable of socializing when they need to. The stereotypical definition that one who's able to socialize fluently is an extrovert is preposterous.

Introverts do as well as anyone else, but the development of the skills happens differently. They watch, study, and read books. They're probably more reflective about social interaction too. At least, that's how it has been for me. I don't just walk up to people and start blabbering and then wander off to the next person and blabber some more on a continuous cycle. Maybe not all extroverts do that, but some definitely seem to.

 

[Sacrophagus]

Introverts do as well as anyone else, but the development of the skills happens differently. They watch, study, and read books. They're probably more reflective about social interaction too. At least, that's how it has been for me.

You reminded me of this guy:

 

[Luminous]

I developed conversation-ending skills, mad skillz. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

How much?

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

You reminded me of this guy:

I see that you refuse to acknowledge my Rightness and your Wrongness. Instead, you posted a video that MOCKS ME FOR READING, and isn't funny. That's one strike against you sir. You don't want to know what happens when you get two!

 

[Jaguar]

walk up to people and start blabbering and then wander off to the next person and blabber some more on a continuous cycle.

I've never known a human being who behaves like that. Did they snort cocaine first or what?

 

[Sacrophagus]

I see that you refuse to acknowledge my Rightness and your Wrongness. Instead, you posted a video that MOCKS ME FOR READING, and isn't funny. That's one strike against you sir. You don't want to know what happens when you get two!

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

What is this shit? Am I the cat or are you the cat?

 

[Mind Maverick]

What would happen if an introvert needed to get good at socializing, or simply by choice of not wanting to be terrible at it? If an introvert accepts that they need to develop their people skills, how would they go about it? What do they think is the best approach? What was the best approach? Introverts, lets hear your answer.

I did this in person. What happened? Every guy thought I was flirting with them or developed more of an interest because I learned how to make people laugh. I also couldnt consistently use all the skills I learned because the more I exert myself, the faster I become exhausted.

TL;DR - I don't have the energy to use the skills I acquired.

 

[typologyenthusiast]

I don't usually take the initiative to greet people. Often it is other who greet me first and I just reply : "I am fine". I remember that when my friend introduced me with their acquaintances, I was awkward that I spent the whole time mostly silent. I become mostly a listener. My friend even told me to speak up on that occasion because he must have been noticing that I did not take part in the conversation. However it was different when I talked with prospective client in brokerage. We talk about serious business thing which is different with more casual conversation. I remember also I high school when we talked about an RPG game with a friend, I was enthusiastic and sometimes I even have a new acquaintance by having a video game as a conversation topic. I remember that in junior high school, during an english course after school hours, we practiced conversation with a classmate. There was a moment that I learnt that the boy that I talked to was also a gamer and he told me that he owned Nintendo 64 console, which according to him was better than Playstation 1's cubistic graphic. He then invited me to his house to play with him.

Btw, Sometimes I think that studying this typology may be the way to develop the social skills.

 

[Coriolis]

I don't usually take the initiative to greet people. Often it is other who greet me first and I just reply : "I am fine". I remember that when my friend introduced me with their acquaintances, I was awkward that I spent the whole time mostly silent. I become mostly a listener. My friend even told me to speak up on that occasion because he must have been noticing that I did not take part in the conversation. However it was different when I talked with prospective client in brokerage. We talk about serious business thing which is different with more casual conversation. I remember also I high school when we talked about an RPG game with a friend, I was enthusiastic and sometimes I even have a new acquaintance by having a video game as a conversation topic. I remember that in junior high school, during an english course after school hours, we practiced conversation with a classmate. There was a moment that I learnt that the boy that I talked to was also a gamer and he told me that he owned Nintendo 64 console, which according to him was better than Playstation 1's cubistic graphic. He then invited me to his house to play with him.

This describes me as well, especially the highlighted.

 

[Maou]

I actually greet people frequently. People think I am cheerful. Other times I am quiet all day, and a bit rude. It just depends on my mood.

 

[LightSun]

“I go for deep talks and conversations on important queries of life. I’ll give an analogy of what it is to talk with a hypothetical NF. I was an amateur chess champion on a team matches 12 best against 12 best. No one touched my father, he had to have spatial intelligence.

I’d need to do a Myers Briggs test on him to fully determine his type but I give him *ENTJ (with asterisk for it’s not fully defined). When he taught me, he beat me hands down. Whereupon I mastered the game of chess I beat him.

However it was a Flow state (Flow: Pivotal classic in psychology by (not sure of the spelling therefore-*Czhishwiskwski*), a state of timelessness and endlessness. A heightened mental plateau of thought. It was an endorphin metropolis and a high intellectual stimulation for myself.

My CPU (Moves calculated in a minute is a base 39 moves). In humility what I can’t do is a grandmaster 50 or an entire game plan scheme. It took me 40-60 minutes to wrestle that man’s mind. We played 2-3 sets so that’s 2-3 hours.

Dialoging with an NF is like a back and forth smooth tennis paddle swing; back and forth. I could easily dialogue with a peer for 2-3 hours.

I have some sense of humor. At the clinic I go to are an INF female Rn, a PA female INFP (Physicians Assistant), Kelley INFP a female bachelors, a Psy.D female INFP and a female INFP Masters Behavior Coordinator.

We’re basically contemporaries. I call her mam as courteous. I tell her it is like a sign of respect. I accord her the rank of Colonel in the United States Army and refer to her as Lady Dianne. It’s refreshing we have intelligent conversations and we are both elder intuitive’s.

They all have a higher estrogen level than their female equivalents. I am the lone male high estrogen. I say to Dianne line up all you high estrogen feminine based ladies.

Then there is a mirror in between. On the other side is the single male masculine INFP. My right eye is your left eye. My left eye is your right eye and we are the 5 female and one lone male brain of the medical center.

I am a very introverted hermit. It’s because I can’t stand superficial talk on rudimentary very day issues. I had an idea of a closed gated community of NT and NF. Then by all means I’d go and have coffee and have deep to me meaningful deep conversation.” LightSun

 

[FemMecha]

My version of small talk is jokes. I didn't develop it on purpose, but have watched a lot of comedy. Mostly I try to see life as funny and sometimes share it in chit chat. Like when I went through the checkout at the grocery store and had some tiny whisky bottles - I told the cashier that I get these for myself and my cats. Or at the music store a colleague asked me the difference between a Bodhran and the frame drum I was holding. I said that the technically complex difference is that mine is flatter. I just say goofy stuff like that and I giggle easily in response to what others say, so it is a weird way to make shyness and nervousness work for me. I just let everything strike me funny.