[INTP] INTP Central

[Totenkindly]

Worst. INTP. Ever.

No, that would be FranG.

 

[pippi]

I've experimented with posting only in threads in their first page, before they got derailed with aimless off topic banter, or posting at the end of a 5 or 10 page thread when the banter had died out and a bit of a discussion seemed to be taking place. Posting in the middle of the banter is a complete waste of time. I tried that too, to see if on topic posts would bring a thread back on track. Fail.

In order to even read threads, I have half a dozen people who only post banter ignored. When I run across a page of banter in a thread I stop reading. Other people like the banter, no worries, that is the culture of this forum, I accept that and have no interest in changing it. It just means that this forum doesn't meet my own needs, I'm the one who doesn't fit.

A few months ago after last batch of bannings I did a little experiment on here. I made 20 or so posts in a week across this forum in different threads (on topic, a paragraph or two, helpful, directed at specific posters questions, etc.). At the end of that week I took inventory. I had received no rep comments on those posts and there were responses to my posts in only two the threads. So as a further experiment, I deleted all the posts except the two someone had responded to. No one noticed.

I'm not complaining btw, the culture of the forum is something I notice and I thought a few other people would be interested in my take on it. If you aren't, just ignore me.

 

[simulatedworld]

I've experimented with posting only in threads in their first page, before they got derailed with aimless off topic banter...

You were aware from the start that you were posting on INTP Central, right?

 

[Totenkindly]

...A few months ago after last batch of bannings I did a little experiment on here. I made 20 or so posts in a week across this forum in different threads (on topic, a paragraph or two, helpful, directed at specific posters questions, etc.). At the end of that week I took inventory. I had received no rep comments on those posts and there were responses to my posts in only two the threads. So as a further experiment, I deleted all the posts except the two someone had responded to. No one noticed.

heh. You are far craftier than I had even imagined.

I gotta say, another thing impacting my comments here the last few days... I am physically sick again and have lessened energy, and now sort of overwhelmed by keeping too many plates in the air... and because I generally take time to reinforce people's cues and/or maintain relationships so that people won't get the idea if I ignore them too long that I don't care about them, I get worn down and now I feel sort of stuck because I can't keep up, and am actually sort of tired of trying.

But... I can't really do this thing long-term. I guess some people do it easily. It's still an effort for me, and right now I just can't keep up so I've found myself crawling into my hole and feeling like I'm ignoring people or leaving them hanging. Learned behaviors can be effective and compensate for a time but the innate still wins out when there's not enough resources to go around...

 

[pippi]

You were aware from the start that you were posting on INTP Central, right?

No actually, I don't post on INTP Central, it was made very clear that an INTJ was not welcome there. My comments were about posting here at TypoC. There are parallels though, since NPs also dominate this board.

 

[avolkiteshvara]

A few months ago after last batch of bannings I did a little experiment on here. I made 20 or so posts in a week across this forum in different threads (on topic, a paragraph or two, helpful, directed at specific posters questions, etc.). At the end of that week I took inventory. I had received no rep comments on those posts and there were responses to my posts in only two the threads. So as a further experiment, I deleted all the posts except the two someone had responded to. No one noticed.

You must've had something Really Reallie Reelly important to say.

 

[Night]

Hmmm...

INTPc was the first website I encountered after re-discovering the MBTI (thanks to an employee personality/workforce survey) and informally deciding to do some additional research into the value of the personality system.

As an INTJ, I experienced some 'typism' hesitation over the authenticity of my interest in a non-INTJ forum. Even then, there was little overt aggression/resistance to much of what I wrote; if anything, I found that I was expected to better equip my reasoning with credible sources if I was to be taken seriously. Nothing really invasive or insular beyond standard cultural memes.

As a result, I have fond memories of INTPc. Like any forum, it has the usual crop of personalities competing for individual reputation/gain with emphasis on solidifying culture-specific 'values' (Hustler/mgb are great examples of status quo-seeking INTPs who try to reinforce codes of conduct important to their particular system of belief (what it means to be an 'INTP')) as to protect variables valuable to their forum identity.

We have the same agency here. We have people who are purposely suspicious of 'different' thinkers; those who endeavor to reinforce forum norms; and those who just interact for the sake of interaction. It's just herd behavior.

There's little broken with INTPc that isn't broken with ourselves.

 

[simulatedworld]

No actually, I don't post on INTP Central, it was made very clear that an INTJ was not welcome there. My comments were about posting here at TypoC. There are parallels though, since NPs also dominate this board.

Which I guess I've illustrated here. That's what I get for trying to skim through and get the gist, I guess. Go details!

 

[Tallulah]

heh. You are far craftier than I had even imagined.

I gotta say, another thing impacting my comments here the last few days... I am physically sick again and have lessened energy, and now sort of overwhelmed by keeping too many plates in the air... and because I generally take time to reinforce people's cues and/or maintain relationships so that people won't get the idea if I ignore them too long that I don't care about them, I get worn down and now I feel sort of stuck because I can't keep up, and am actually sort of tired of trying.

But... I can't really do this thing long-term. I guess some people do it easily. It's still an effort for me, and right now I just can't keep up so I've found myself crawling into my hole and feeling like I'm ignoring people or leaving them hanging. Learned behaviors can be effective and compensate for a time but the innate still wins out when there's not enough resources to go around...

I'm going to stop trying to figure out how to put my brain machinations into words, because Jennifer will eventually state it all perfectly and I can just sit back and eat Cheetos. Yes, totally, me, too. In fact, I'm totally aware that I owe you a PM back, and I want to be all thoughtful, which makes me put it off, whereas here, I just kinda let stuff catch my eye, dash my immediate response off and toss it into the ring. But when I'm trying to be all thoughtful or friend-y, I put it off until it's been way too long to make a timely response.

I have noticed this tendency IRL a LOT lately. The older I get, the more people I feel responsible for keeping in touch with, and I can handle it when I'm feeling more mentally on top of things, but when I get stressed, I pull in and maybe talk to a handful of people that are right in front of my face. And then I catch flak for not keeping in touch, or people wonder if they did something wrong.

I suppose, especially for younger INTPs, it would be hard to keep the Fe train a' rolling for very long, or even be aware it exists. Sometimes I wonder how aware I would be at ALL about social expectations, if not for my mother making me aware.

 

[INA]

We have the same agency here. We have people who are purposely suspicious of 'different' thinkers; those who endeavor to reinforce forum norms; and those who just interact for the sake of interaction. It's just herd behavior.

There's little broken with INTPc that isn't broken with ourselves.

+1

 

[Totenkindly]

Which I guess I've illustrated here. That's what I get for trying to skim through and get the gist, I guess. Go details!

I gotta admit, I was laughing out loud here when I saw your first post.

 

[Athenian200]

The older I get, the more people I feel responsible for keeping in touch with, and I can handle it when I'm feeling more mentally on top of things, but when I get stressed, I pull in and maybe talk to a handful of people that are right in front of my face. And then I catch flak for not keeping in touch, or people wonder if they did something wrong.

I suppose, especially for younger INTPs, it would be hard to keep the Fe train a' rolling for very long, or even be aware it exists. Sometimes I wonder how aware I would be at ALL about social expectations, if not for my mother making me aware.

Oh, parents can have a strong influence. Let me put it this way. My mother is a rather strong Introvert and doesn't really try to keep up with anyone except her own mother.

Consequently, I have a very strange approach to social interaction. I pretty much never keep up with anyone who I'm not actively participating with in some kind of connection. I grew up believing that if I wasn't currently attending class with someone, or in some other kind of group with them (like being part of a group that sits together at lunch), then I wasn't affiliated with them and had no business contacting them. So essentially, I wiped my contacts slate clean of a group as soon as I was no longer an active group participant, and tried to form new contacts when I joined a new group.

Basically, I made the unconscious assumption that people don't form ties based on their past, only based on their present and future. So I essentially believed that my justification for contacting them would have to be something regarding a mutual concern, something that was relevant to both of us. If we no longer shared any mutual concerns, then there was no reason to communicate. If anything, I believed that contacting someone after you were no longer in the same group or shared any mutual concerns was essentially stalking. So I didn't do it.

I wish I had known. If I hadn't broken ties with everyone (that I wasn't even aware had formed) each year...

Sorry to throw my own experience into this thread, this post just provoked the thought, and I didn't want to let it slip away.

 

[simulatedworld]

I gotta admit, I was laughing out loud here when I saw your first post.

I just figured that since the thread was about INTPc, that's what he'd be talking about, and I didn't really care enough to read all the details to make sure. Such is my way, I suppose.

 

[Totenkindly]

I just figured that since the thread was about INTPc, that's what he'd be talking about, and I didn't really care enough to read all the details to make sure. Such is my way, I suppose.

Pippi's not a he either.

 

[simulatedworld]

Effing details. stfu!

 

[bluebell]

^^^ I was hoping my last post would get zero replies, so now I can safely assume that y'all completely agree with me. *grin*

(ok, so I got some rep comments)

I guess because I felt like in a group of INTP people, it would seem like the ideas would be the more important variables, rather than the pure social factor.

Ideas get absorbed without anyone necessarily commenting about it at the time. Took me quite a while to realise that.

And yeah, I noticed that I wasn't the only one getting ignored, but that was maybe even more frustrating, because you just feel like, "Okay, gotcha. Everyone's already formed their friendships and there's no point in trying to shoehorn your way into the discussion."

Before you gave up on INTPc, you were definitely on my radar at INTPc and I enjoyed your posts there. Perceptions aren't always accurate.

Yes, totally, me, too. In fact, I'm totally aware that I owe you a PM back, and I want to be all thoughtful, which makes me put it off, whereas here, I just kinda let stuff catch my eye, dash my immediate response off and toss it into the ring. But when I'm trying to be all thoughtful or friend-y, I put it off until it's been way too long to make a timely response.

I have noticed this tendency IRL a LOT lately. The older I get, the more people I feel responsible for keeping in touch with, and I can handle it when I'm feeling more mentally on top of things, but when I get stressed, I pull in and maybe talk to a handful of people that are right in front of my face. And then I catch flak for not keeping in touch, or people wonder if they did something wrong.

Slightly off topic, but yeah, this is a very similar pattern for me IRL (and on the forums too I guess). I used to feel guilty but now I just figure that there is so much crap going on IRL that it's only going to be a friendship that lasts if people can handle me dropping out of sight for fair chunks of time. I'm trying to break my habit of trying to contort myself to fit to others.

 

[mippus]

so in short: don't nag about it, plonge in and you'll learn things are not as bad as they look like from the outside?

 

[Totenkindly]

Slightly off topic, but yeah, this is a very similar pattern for me IRL (and on the forums too I guess). I used to feel guilty but now I just figure that there is so much crap going on IRL that it's only going to be a friendship that lasts if people can handle me dropping out of sight for fair chunks of time. I'm trying to break my habit of trying to contort myself to fit to others.

Yes, exactly. I've been doing it too a lot, I've been forced to... but some of them are already sending me notes asking me if they've done something wrong. (And I want to scream, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!")

Which of course leaves me feeling like a dork because I used to do the same thing they're doing, Before All This. Oh well, live and learn. But the point is that right now, even though I know I just need to keep it short and simple and otherwise trust people to read things right, it still is an emotional hit... and when you get a bunch at once when you're tired, you just want to batten down the hatches and lock everyone out.

 

[FemMecha]

Yes, exactly. I've been doing it too a lot, I've been forced to... but some of them are already sending me notes asking me if they've done something wrong. (And I want to scream, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!")

Which of course leaves me feeling like a dork because I used to do the same thing they're doing, Before All This. Oh well, live and learn. But the point is that right now, even though I know I just need to keep it short and simple and otherwise trust people to read things right, it still is an emotional hit... and when you get a bunch at once when you're tired, you just want to batten down the hatches and lock everyone out.

After time online, I think people start getting used to this dynamic. It might be especially true for INs - the dropping off the radar and retreating inside. I'm on both sides of that coin often enough that I would classify it as the expected modus operandi. That is what works well with the internet, though. If I happen to be out of sync with one of my friends and one of us drops off the radar, the other one can seek out someone else. There is always a supply of people even for the introvert in this context. It is quite the eloquent solution to the social needs of the IN (and perhaps other types)

Changing the subject a bit...
After several months of not looking at INTPc, I've been reading a little over there. Before the existence of TypoC, non-INTPs typically had mixed signals at INTPc. Creating this site was an eloquent solution to that problem. In reading post at INTPc lately, I was surprised at a handful of non-INTP n00bs really going at it criticizing INTPs on the site. I think most non-INTPs would cringe at least a little reading that. The motivation must be off the visible radar online.

My favorite debate style is one in which various angles are analyzed and participants are open to being right or wrong. Rather than beating two sets of conclusions out using social dominance, I value people who set all social dynamics aside and zero in on the issue so that learning results from the process. There are bits of that at INTPc, at some philosophy forums, and perhaps at INTJf, but that was another issue that drew me to INTPc initially. The social history there mostly keeps me from posting as a non-INTP, and more often use this forum and others to search for a similar debating style.

(apologies for any of this that is off-topic.)

 

[Ivy]

Slightly off topic, but yeah, this is a very similar pattern for me IRL (and on the forums too I guess). I used to feel guilty but now I just figure that there is so much crap going on IRL that it's only going to be a friendship that lasts if people can handle me dropping out of sight for fair chunks of time. I'm trying to break my habit of trying to contort myself to fit to others.

Word to this, in a big way.

And, I don't think it's necessarily off-topic. One of the things I enjoy about INTPC is that the connections I've made there have by and large been with people who really get that.

TypoC I love you too, but there would be no you without INTPC.