[INTP] INTP asked me out on a date?

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...-submissive-paradox-power-in-sexual-relations

Some of this applies to personality types too.

Basically, someone from a type you might assume to be more "dominant" could turn out to sexually "submissive" (and I've noticed this with NTPs, though a lot also seem to be asexual. Weird). You might be surprised just how often this turns out to be the case if you read into BDSM.

You mean to say socially submissive folks are more likely to be dominant in bed? Sounds about right.

 

[Kullervo]

You mean to say socially submissive folks are more likely to be dominant in bed? Sounds about right.

No, that's a step further than I would go. Only that it's possible.

 

[Luke O]

I believe you.

However, what you or I might find appealing on a moral and intellectual level is usually not what turns us on. Why do you think there are so many people who are very embarrassed about their sexuality?

There is always the fetish guys are afraid to tell their girlfriends/wives about...

Sorry for the delay in responding but does it revolve around taboo? As in they feel it is wrong (either because of what they were told, or concluded after some thought) and either suppress it or do it in secret; the judgement of others (to be seen as a 'pervert'/'sexual deviant') and the damage it can do to one's personal/professional life; and/or whether being possibly 'found out' is part of the fetish (some want to be caught in the act).

In the case of men who crave submission, the taboo here is breaking from the traditional view of male/female relationships - men are traditionally expected to be the head of the family, dominant and in control, women are expected to be subservient and obey their husbands and ensure his house is maintained adequately. Men who are seen to allow their female partners too much power are seen as henpecked, weak, pathetic and unmasculine.

 

[Luke O]

I agree. He's a pretty dominant one, the only exception being in social situations. Maybe he hasn't figured himself out yet?

He canceled today. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I am really sad though. He continuously promised all week so I was starting to have a little faith. Didn't see that one coming this time.

Have you spoken to him since? If he can't get his priorities right, maybe you're wasting your time with him. Even if he is an INTP.

 

[Kullervo]

Sorry for the delay in responding but does it revolve around taboo? As in they feel it is wrong (either because of what they were told, or concluded after some thought) and either suppress it or do it in secret; the judgement of others (to be seen as a 'pervert'/'sexual deviant') and the damage it can do to one's personal/professional life; and/or whether being possibly 'found out' is part of the fetish (some want to be caught in the act).

I imagine any of these factors could come into play. The most powerful are probably a sense of shame about one's own sexuality, which takes time to heal, and the fear of ridicule/rejection by other people you care about were they to know (especially if it involves role reversal).

In the case of men who crave submission, the taboo here is breaking from the traditional view of male/female relationships - men are traditionally expected to be the head of the family, dominant and in control, women are expected to be subservient and obey their husbands and ensure his house is maintained adequately. Men who are seen to allow their female partners too much power are seen as henpecked, weak, pathetic and unmasculine.

Something I've noticed is that while there is little social stigma directed at women who are dominant, the inverse is not the case.

 

[Flamme et Citron]

"Can't stop bringing it up"

From somebody who supposedly has only two posts...you have been paying me a lot of attention.

I'll take it as a compliment though.

I'm talking about this thread. You've been bringing it up on every thread then? I'm a new member, not somebody's alt. I love how the first thing I get from this site are accusations of being an alt and douchebaggery.

 

[Kullervo]

I'm talking about this thread. You've been bringing it up on every thread then? I'm a new member, not somebody's alt. I love how the first thing I get from this site are accusations of being an alt and douchebaggery.

You should stop acting in a way that might lead to such accusations being brought against you.