[INFP] INFPs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

[Lady_X]

rebe :hi:

 

[Rebe]

hi gorgeous

 

[sleuthiness]

MBTI type is highly irrelevant to me at this point, just so that we share the same base enneagram (5) and a compatible instinctual stacking (so/sp, sp/so or sx/sp in my case).

 

[unityemissions]

Are you a 9 perchance? I admit I didn't bother to look....

Honestly, I have no clue what my type is anymore on ennegrams or MBTI. I'm losing faith in these system's ability to accurately categorize people's behaviors/preferences.

Perhaps it works for some people...it seems my brain is wired outside of these categorizations.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Honestly, I have no clue what my type is anymore on ennegrams or MBTI. I'm losing faith in these system's ability to accurately categorize people's behaviors/preferences.

Perhaps it works for some people...it seems my brain is wired outside of these categorizations.

A 9 then

 

[Snuggletron]

INFP, INTJ, or ENFP in no order because types are so broad anyway

 

[unityemissions]

A 9 then

Only on tuesdays!



Yea, but hey I'ma funky lefty. I watched this google presentation the other week. . .

This neuroscientists wired up a ton of ppl who had their MBTI assessed from a professional beforehand. . .

So with the EEG in place, they found all sorts of correlations between MBTI and neural networks/types of processing. . .

. . . but guess what!! towards the end of the vid, the guy stated half of lefties have arbitrary brain organizations. . .

. . . as in, what would take ~95% of the people one firing pattern to execute a type of processing, they might have a more efficient route; like bypassing the corpus collosum and processing all on one side, brain regions right next to each other instead of far away, etc. . .

so I don't believe I fit into this stuff.

I don't seem to fit into any damned models out there. I score all over the place on an IQ test depending on a variety of factors (actual proctored testing, here), not to mention between each subset...many people think I'm an idiot, yet this adult 168IQ guy says I'm the second smartest he's ever met, and this chick who was the youngest to be a member of mensa in her home state says i AM the smartest she ever met...and I have no clue why!

I have all sorts of deficiencies, and savant-like skills. just wired, and structured different than practically everyone else on the planet. hooray, now I'm going to be labeled a narcissist!!

/rant

 

[flameskull95]

I would say ENFJ or INFJ for the sake of shadow functions. But it's unbelievably crap knowing that INFPs are not even on the radar for the ENFP, ENFJ and INFJ threads. They all seem to appreciate the better extroverted versions of us.. The ENFPs :/

I don't see how the INTP-INFP relationship would work seeing that they live in almost completely different realms and don't have much to offer one another by the looks of it. I can see it getting tiring for both types easily I mean.

 

[Salomé]

I don't see how the INTP-INFP relationship would work seeing that they live in almost completely different realms and don't have much to offer one another by the looks of it.

How so?

I arrived at INFP as best match (via process of elimination). But experience suggests I was wrong. Am just not up to the level of emotional engagement and sensitivity required.

 

[flameskull95]

How so? I arrived at INFP as best match (via process of elimination). But experience suggests I was wrong. Am just not up to the level of emotional engagement and sensitivity required.

I thought the best match would have been ESFJ for INTP. Because Fe is inferior for INTPs and that would satisfy them better than the self-absorbed Fi function.

And, Ti is the furthest shadow function from the INFP personality. And well, I was under the impression that INTPs wouldn't possibly even consider the emotional engagement aspect at all IRL, well at least the INTPs who don't know about MBTI theory.

But I'm actually really curious to know what your process of elimination is ? I'm just saying it could be tiring for both types with Ti going 'no,look at it like this' and Fi going 'no, look at it like this' all the time.

 

[RaptorWizard]

[MENTION=7275]flameskull95[/MENTION] I don't get why you go by functions in the pairing of romantic couples via type.

I'm not saying I think it doesn't work, but it seems like saying that I will date this person because they have the same IQ as me, or they have the same personality disorders as me.

The empirical statistics cannot account for every factor, in particular that which is immeasurable.

You may indeed find that you make much better friends with a type that would really surprise you.

Of course, that's just my opinion. Feel free to argue your case, and your pleas for mercy may be heard.

 

[flameskull95]

[MENTION=7275]flameskull95[/MENTION] I don't get why you go by functions in the pairing of romantic couples via type.

I'm not saying I think it doesn't work, but it seems like saying that I will date this person because they have the same IQ as me, or they have the same personality disorders as me.

The empirical statistics cannot account for every factor, in particular that which is immeasurable.

You may indeed find that you make much better friends with a type that would really surprise you.

Of course, that's just my opinion. Feel free to argue your case, and your pleas for mercy may be heard.

So why even make the link between the types in the poll, in the first place? The types are pretty much more their functions than the four letters that compromise them.

And I don't think I've been on the best 'relationship' terms with INTPs if experience is a reference either. And I've always thought that could be attributed to how differently we viewed the world (by personal experience and stuff).

and other than that, I think the other user who's post I was replying to mentioned a 'process of elimination' and INTPs being 'best match'... but I get what you mean nonethelesser.

 

[Standuble]

IMO INTP-INFP could work because of the perceiving functions (as would any type pairings with share perceiving functions.) They see the world the same way but different ways of judging a situation. Ti/Fi clash seems to be the main issue so I would suspect maturity on both sides would be the key (both needing to remember the other when the Ji is being thrown into the relationship dynamics.) I myself probably would not go for an INTP because my dealings of them have created a (potentially unfair) perception in my mind for them being just too cold. Better friends than relationship material. It would remain to be seen whether its like making out with a refrigerator or not (with the INTP being cold, metallic and not putting in much physical effort and me being a whiny bitch for getting my male member trapped in the refrigerator door.) To be fair though, most problems in these relationships are much more the fault of the INFP than the other way around.

It seems counter-intuitive to me to dismiss types with a shared judging preference (NTJ ideally) but it all rests on whether you can accept each other despite having a different function preference. Plus there is that pesky Fi function - we may evaluate the world the same way but our values may be wholly incompatible. But despite this other NFPs could be interesting if both parties were mature (not much maturity on my end admittedly.)

Of course all this is irrelevant if the suitable candidate expresses no attraction (I get this A LOT.) But then there are many women I am not attracted to either. Being not overly attractive to women and being very selective yourself narrows the chances to nearly zero.

 

[Salomé]

I thought the best match would have been ESFJ for INTP.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
no.

Because Fe is inferior for INTPs and that would satisfy them better than the self-absorbed Fi function.

I guess it depends how self-absorbed one is oneself. Being pretty self-absorbed I can relate. Also, (in common with most INTPs who may argue with me about it, nevertheless it's true) I have better conscious use of Fi than Fe, though I can certainly develop in this area.
Fe is so antithetical to my being that I don't even have a desire to develop it, and I find it hard to "appreciate" in others. ESFJs actually drive me crazy.

And, Ti is the furthest shadow function from the INFP personality.

I disagree with this interpretation. I think Ti and Fi work in similar ways just on different domains of use. Which makes them complementary. Also Ne is the route to great brain sex!

But I'm actually really curious to know what your process of elimination is ? I'm just saying it could be tiring for both types with Ti going 'no,look at it like this' and Fi going 'no, look at it like this' all the time.

I haven't found that to be a problem. As mentioned, the domains of use are different and therefore, there shouldn't be any conflict (unless you are dealing with immature use in an INTP who insists that even alogical problems be handled with logic (ironically, an illogical approach)). I have profound respect and admiration for Fi, and those who are most accomplished in its use are very attractive to me. They have an unparalleled ability to force me into altered perspectives that I sincerely value (and need).

My process of elimination is pretty crude. Essentially, it involves recognition of fundamental incompatibilities with the rigidity of the J mindset, and a frustrating lack of commonality with the S.
Basically, I find that only NPs turn me on (in any sense).

I like ENTPs, but find them to be too demanding, impatient, competitive and often narcissistic and emotionally callow.
I love INTPs, but we are too alike to benefit from each other - beyond friendship. I think you need the friction of opposites on at least one dimension to create heat.
I enjoy ENFPs, but find they have a tendency to be flighty and to feel less than their engagement implies, which leaves me feeling confused/ insecure.
So that only leaves INFPs, who are lovely, but frequently impenetrable and perplexing and evasive and given to maudlin excesses and so goddamned passive that I wind up wanting to kick their behinds. Much too fragile for my abrasive, fiery nature.
Which kind of leaves me out of "ideal" matches...

I myself probably would not go for an INTP because my dealings of them have created a (potentially unfair) perception in my mind for them being just too cold. Better friends than relationship material.

We are not much preoccupied with expressions of warmth and affection and affirmation, it's true. I suspect this would be hard for most INFPs to live with.

It would remain to be seen whether its like making out with a refrigerator or not (with the INTP being cold, metallic and not putting in much physical effort and me being a whiny bitch for getting my male member trapped in the refrigerator door.)

LMAO. Try catching?

Oh dear. How wrong can a person be...
If your INTP isn't up for it, you're not even going to get the door open, if they are, they'll have you begging for mercy...

 

[Standuble]

We are not much preoccupied with expressions of warmth and affection and affirmation, it's true. I suspect this would be hard for most INFPs to live with.
LMAO. Try catching?

Oh dear. How wrong can a person be...
If your INTP isn't up for it, you're not even going to get the door open, if they are, they'll have you begging for mercy...

I get most things wrong unfortunately, I think of it as part of a learning curve which in the grand scheme of things is completely meaningless. So it would be rewarding for an INTP if they feel like they can educate and correct stupid mistakes and enjoy doing such. Of course not so if idiocy grates on them.

 

[Salomé]

I get most things wrong unfortunately, I think of it as part of a learning curve which in the grand scheme of things is completely meaningless. So it would be rewarding for an INTP if they feel like they can educate and correct stupid mistakes and enjoy doing such. Of course not so if idiocy grates on them.

We aren't fans of idiocy. Or sycophancy. Self-deprecating whimsicality works though.

 

[flameskull95]

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
no.

I guess it depends how self-absorbed one is oneself. Being pretty self-absorbed I can relate. Also, (in common with most INTPs who may argue with me about it, nevertheless it's true) I have better conscious use of Fi than Fe, though I can certainly develop in this area.
Fe is so antithetical to my being that I don't even have a desire to develop it, and I find it hard to "appreciate" in others. ESFJs actually drive me crazy.

I disagree with this interpretation. I think Ti and Fi work in similar ways just on different domains of use. Which makes them complementary. Also Ne is the route to great brain sex!

I haven't found that to be a problem. As mentioned, the domains of use are different and therefore, there shouldn't be any conflict (unless you are dealing with immature use in an INTP who insists that even alogical problems be handled with logic (ironically, an illogical approach)). I have profound respect and admiration for Fi, and those who are most accomplished in its use are very attractive to me. They have an unparalleled ability to force me into altered perspectives that I sincerely value (and need).

My process of elimination is pretty crude. Essentially, it involves recognition of fundamental incompatibilities with the rigidity of the J mindset, and a frustrating lack of commonality with the S.
Basically, I find that only NPs turn me on (in any sense).

I like ENTPs, but find them to be too demanding, impatient, competitive and often narcissistic and emotionally callow.
I love INTPs, but we are too alike to benefit from each other - beyond friendship. I think you need the friction of opposites on at least one dimension to create heat.
I enjoy ENFPs, but find they have a tendency to be flighty and to feel less than their engagement implies, which leaves me feeling confused/ insecure.
So that only leaves INFPs, who are lovely, but frequently impenetrable and perplexing and evasive and given to maudlin excesses and so goddamned passive that I wind up wanting to kick their behinds. Much too fragile for my abrasive, fiery nature.
Which kind of leaves me out of "ideal" matches...

LOL. well as far as MBTI matching systems go, since it's the ESFJs that practice the inferior function of Fe positively, it would be attractive to INTPs (in theory). I would suspect that INTP-INFP doesn't go together in MBTI matching as Ti is the INFP's "demon function" and that activates in the most severe situations that an INFP could be put into. My parents are in an INTP(dad) -ESFJ (mum) link. They haven't separated ever since they were married to my awareness.

And you don't have a 'better conscious use' of Fi, it's the least of the least in the INTP. I see a relationship with an INTP going somewhere, like "Oh so you think so?" and then the relationship ending, even when I try to nice it out and consider the other POV. I try not to be rampant with my Fi, as a 4w5 would. I relate much more strongly with my ENFP sister, and I learn from her more 'open minded' tricks of the trade. Dissecting the fallacies of conditioning that many people can't escape.

Yeah, and that's what I was practically trying to infer before. I have no real 'ideal' match other than ENFJ, and the ENFJs don't even have INFP on the radar. Adding to that, everyone seemed to favor the ENFP and INFJ personality types, despite the MBTI matching system. I think this shows that an 'ideal match' is rather based on someone that satisfies the information/values itself that is perceived through the functions rather than the functions of the type themselves.

and I'm sorry I'm not the one for you

 

[Salomé]

And you don't have a 'better conscious use' of Fi, it's the least of the least in the INTP.

Oh, so you think so?

There's no foundation for this, neither theoretical nor empirical. Check out the cognitive functions threads. Almost all the INTPs have Fi>Fe.

 

[flameskull95]

Oh, so you think so?

There's no foundation for this, neither theoretical nor empirical. Check out the cognitive functions threads. Almost all the INTPs have Fi>Fe.

But Fe is the INTP inferior? Wouldn't that mean their cognitive functions would have to invert to Te and Fe to balance out under stress? (Hence making Fi the least readily available function to the INTP --> what I meant by 'least of the least')

I've always believed Jungian psychology to show that our 'shadow self' is the inverted function, and that is what we repress. The INTP prefers Fe, and represses Fi. Fi is like the repressed inferior function of the INTP, which works under the most stress.

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/other-psychology-topics/43422-intps-more-fi-than-fe-6.html (skylight's post in particular)

And here: http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/35371-manifestation-demonic-fi-intps-2.html
("yet Fe will ultimately enable the activity of Ti to achieve societal fruition and usefulness. Fi may seem to be this emotionalized, senseless entity that threatens to come in" )

I actually have to say the same about Fi>Fe. Where is the theoretical or empirical evidence? Is it that Ti and Fi are both right brain functions? That doesn't necessarily mean one is greater than the other, if that is what you're saying.

LOL. dwelling deeper into it, I find your side of the argument stemmed : http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...ario-nardi-s-neuroscience-personality-14.html

"Um, no. He doesn't say this anywhere. Rather, he discusses the dynamic nature of the inferior with his INTP embarrassment example. The Fe is still there as "embarrassment", but it doesn't trigger without a lot of stimulation."

It actually makes sense that the brain uses the Ti region in the same place stimulation for Fi is given. That would suggest that Ti is being excited and Fi is being inhibited the most. Proving Fe>Fi by empirical evidence if you ask me. But Inferior Te is mine thing, Te isn't even that good, so I guess you could debunk me quite easily

 

[Standuble]

INTPs having stronger than Fi over Fe does sound intuitively correct to me. Ti evaluation of the Fe function would simulate the Fi function. Likewise the INFP's would simulate Ti very well. However in a relationship I think this would only help to build understanding between the two unless one side willingly puts the usage of their dominant function to the side for a while (I do this when I put Fi to the side so I can understand the various aspects of a theory) but it would only be temporary. In my experience I have seen many times how Fi and Ti are similar but the different domains the Ji function uses leads to much butting heads. Though I admire INTPs (and all the NTs) and experience dealing with a manager at work who is probably an INTP (along with her coldness and sarcasm) I think if I was more mature and reasonable a person I would consider one. But as of 2012, it is not yet the case.