[INFP] INFPs and the Lack of Initiative

[JivinJeffJones]

I think the reason I slowly integrate other people into my life is that I do not want to boggle down myself with too many obligations. This may stem from my habit of not saying no. I want to give, but do not realize there's a limit until it's too late and shut down.

Yeah I relate to this. Again. Few things are more excruciating for me than (at the extreme end of the spectrum) involuntarily being elected someone's bestfriendforever. They want to hang out all the time, and produce all their insecurities for your inspection. You want to help them, but just know that a friendship should not be an invariably stressful/draining experience. Though I guess some people like dependent types. I don't - too much responsibility.

My friends all know what the score is with me and know that if I go missing for 6 months it's not because I suddenly hate them. They know I need space. It may not be healthy (let alone admirable), but it's part of the deal for the forseeable future. They know that, but new friends don't. There's no fine print with a new friendship, so it's hard to know what you're getting into sometimes. What exactly are your responsibilities in this new friendship? What are the penalties for failing to uphold those responsibilities? Exhausted just thinking about it. If I could flick a switch and not care at all about my friends then it'd be a lot easier to make new friendships, I feel.

Plus, I'm probably just getting old and therefore (according to Seinfeld) naturally disinclined to make new friends.