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<<The biggest thing I'd be afraid of with dating (, courting, marrying) an INFP is their affinity for not telling you what they really think of you. I know how wrapped up I can get with that type; I really don't want to be thinking everything's okay when suddenly, someday, I come home to an empty house and a heartfelt, but bruising, and tear-stained note about how you couldn't take it anymore. I don't think I could stand the heartbreak, I'd super-blame myself and probably would date again for another decade, if ever. It hurts to even consider that. >>
what does INFP like? ENFJ.
I don't think running away is down to immaturity but just evidence of how intense the relationship is, I've bailed a few times .. and realised afterwards how hurtful it was but at the time thought, he is ENFJ, he can cheer himself up or go out and have fun and distract himself, whereas I get swamped without a clear plan for how to recover.. and I think maybe the seriousness of completely disappearing should make it clear that I'm obviously really involved in this and not coping very well or behaving 'properly', it isn't a gradual fading out of little consequence.
And talking.. I don't want to be the one raining on the parade (that ENFJ organised and built by hand and hosted and invited everyone to), or create 'trouble' and know that ENFJ doesn't want to hear negative stuff in that respect, sure they'll help with your problems if there's enough distance from themselves, but its like an earthquake or something when its related to your relationship and his feelings like a new dimension of unpredictability and.. fear,
and I think there's also a sort of confidence, possibly misplaced, that the INFP thinks they have thought through everything and need the other's input only as a last resort, or verbal input I should say, just because there aren't words communication is crystal clear.. almost, or the delusion of the INFP that their version of events and emotions is perfectly accurate and there's no need to have an unpleasant conversation,
ENFJ in the past has always been pushing me to talk, but it seems a bit cheap in a way, why do we need to explicitly say what is already understood? and understood on a much *higher, or rare level. But for me I don't know about other INFPs the idea of an amazing ENFJ being interested in them is still a bit hard to swallow, everyone loves ENFJ, but for ENFJ to love INFP out of everybody? it seems unlikely, but maybe healthy INFP has enough esteem to accept it. definitely feel pressure to live up to ENFJ expectations and when it gets too much or feel like i've failed feel like i want to hide it from them because i respect them so much and don't want them to think worse of me or be disappointed.
and this is deep-seated ..possibly 'childish' reactions, that only come out because we are so connected, I would never be so impolite or callous to somebody who i felt clear-headed around, i definitely feel a loss of control around ENFJ. but yeah there seems an element of danger with INFP ENFJ but i think it is worth the risk as the highs are extraordinary.
but if all that has been gone through, and a commitment made then thats it, you're stuck with them.
[caveat: they still may run away sometimes but know they're always going to be coming back]
(but not too much - needs to be able to be serious too)
