[INFP] INFP Attraction

[TopherRed]

*Fuzzy rests chin on folded arms*

So tell me INFPs, what are you attracted to? Also, what functions do you enjoy most in a mate?

 

[Coeur]

I love Fe and Ne.
As for what I'm attracted to... really, I have absolutely no problem being constantly smothered with attention and affection. XD Seriously. If you go out of your way to pursue me and make me feel special, I will be flattered. That might sound self-centered, but I'm not trying to be... I just hate it when guys act distant or keep me guessing. [Well, on one hand keeping me guessing WORKS... but it is not pleasant and I'm fed up with mind games at this point.]

Before doing this, though, you need to make sure:
a. You're not RESTRICTING me. If I said: "I want to go do _____" and you said: "NO! You will be with me always!" Well... that isn't endearing anymore. >_>
b. That I like you and want you to smother me. There's a difference between being affectionate and latching onto me. Don't assume that just because I smiled at you once that I am yours. >_>

 

[WoodsWoman]

NT - I miss my ENTJ very much - however I've seen enough other NT interaction to find the whole lot of them very enticing. I find I like them to be a bit more extraverted than I am - I'm quite introverted and like the 'buffer' between me and the rest of the world. ---That said, if the spark was there I can imagine a relationship with any type that would be willing to work at it equally.

 

[Sizzling Berry]

Hmmmm - what a yummie question.

I will answer like a true Fi user - from within. I most enjoy the company of people who allow me to keep the balance between my Fi and Ne use. U see Fi in me is like that hot-blooded, half-wild, pit-bull stubborn warrior. Ne is a cheaky and quirky damsel, who is open, curious and wants to explore stuff.

But, once my teritory is in danger it's wam, bam, whoosh - the damsel is in the cave and all is left is collected, calm soldier (don't get me wrong - the worrior has and shows a passionate, caring side - but it's not with teritory in danger). Or if I need to fake a reaction just the damsel stays - and then she is totally rootless and scared.

I think recently somewhere in the forum The state I am in talked about Fi INFPs and ballanced INFPs. I believe it very much (at least for me) depends on the people u r surrounded with and their behaviour towards u. Though the older u get the harder it is to imbalance u. I feel in the way described above around people whom I see as arrogant or trying to exert unjust power over me (I am actually growling writing it - grrrrrr, rawrrrrr). And it's not a fun state to be in. :steam:

But Darlin if u let me keep my balance then it's pure lambadamba and salsa together . And once u get to a passionate side of a warrior.... mmmm, grau, rawrrrr....

And what girls said resonates - especially Coeur about freedom (though in a form u allow me to feel my way, I allow u to feel ur way - then we negotiate and reach) and WoodsWoman about working at it equally.

Finally, I think we should have "a tiger" emoticon.

 

[Udog]

Since you are likely looking for female INFP feedback, I'll be brief.

When I look back at the women who I've crushed on, I find a pattern of being drawn to Fe. Especially paired with Ni. (I've never known an ENFJ though. I'm talking about INFJs and xSFJs.)

However I've never really known any NT women, so the whole lot of them are a huge wild card. The ones I've interacted with here, and one possible real life experience, suggests a potential, though.

As far as traits, intelligence, ability to make me laugh, and good character will get you far.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I definitely want to be pursued, but not thrust upon (no pun ).
I find that INTPs pursue me well without cramping my style (I'm surprised at how shy INTPs will suddenly step up to the plate when it comes to pursuing me). My little experience with ISTPs shows the same, and of course being "too cool for school" makes them quite attractive. I think I respond well to Ti-dom, as long as we have similar interests/values. Of course, having a Ne connection is always fun. I'd only be concerned that with another introvert we'd be too isolated, haha.

I adore ENFJs, but have only been friends with them thus far. As long as they are upfront about their intentions and don't flirt with other girls, then I think I'd really like one for myself. Fe + Ni is so very charming, fun, warm, interesting, etc. Fe + Si can grate on my nerves though. I'm not familiar with ESFJ men though, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

INTJs seem to drop the ball too much, yet they seem to think the relationship is on a level it is not and want to commit too fast. ISTJs are like pit bulls that won't let go ("I've added it all up and we're a great match, so you cannot possibly resist me!"), and I inevitably get turned off. I guess Te-aux just doesn't work for me.

xNFPs give me a buddy vibe, but no romance. I don't have enough real world experience romantically with other types to say.

As for traits, there's some recent thread where I made a list, but it's a lot of obvious stop (loyalty, compassion, honesty etc). I generally want someone physically attractive to me with intelligence, common interests (mostly the arts for me), strong morals and similar life goals/values, and a compatible sense of humor (witty and silly). I think I'd prefer someone who seems warm externally, and an extrovert who is more outgoing than me. I think that's why types with some Fe appeal to me, even if it's inferior Fe, haha.

 

[Udog]

I definitely want to be pursued, but not thrust upon (no pun ).

How do you know an INFP likes you? We let you try and win us over.

(Not that I'm advocating our approach here, especially for the males. But you gotta admit there is truth to it.)

 

[Gothmawg]

Finally, I think we should have "a tiger" emoticon.

Precisely the reason for my avatar...rawr!

 

[Coeur]

How do you know an INFP likes you? We let you try and win us over.

(Not that I'm advocating our approach here, especially for the males. But you gotta admit there is truth to it.)

^Exactly.

We pick up on signals really well. Not overtly responding to the signals isn't a bad sign. The fact that we're letting you continue is good. If we don't like you, we will flee from those same signals.

Edit: Also, do any other INFPs have the tendancy to ignore someone that is looking at you? I usually do it as a test to see if they are really looking at me, or if I'm just imagining it. XD If someone creepy or undesireable is staring at me, I will leave the area. Immedietely. This ties into the above.

 

[OrangeAppled]

^Exactly.

We pick up on signals really well. Not overtly responding to the signals isn't a bad sign. The fact that we're letting you continue is good. If we don't like you, we will flee from those same signals.

I need clear signals though, or I will convince myself it's all in my head.

 

[Coeur]

I need clear signals though, or I will convince myself it's all in my head.

Agreed.. don't be TOO subtle. Backing up your actions with words is very helpful.

 

[neptunesnet]

Ne typically says aloud what I'm thinking. Ne brings out my Ni and I actually enjoy my Ni.
I like Ti because it isn't as ridiculous as my inferior function, Te.
Fe complements me, too.
But these aren't exclusive. It's just what has been the pattern for me. I can see potential in just about any NT, NFJ, or ISFP type.

Uh functions aside, I like masculine guys. Not those brusque crass a-holes, though. I'm talking the type that when you're with them you feel safe and protected. Some guys just give off this male orb ?? that other dudes can pick up on. I love when out with them and because of that orb other guys back off. I like that! Plus, my introversion can wane on the extreme side sometimes, so I like someone to hide behind. I dated this ENTP guy once who I couldn't understand why I didn't like him romantically. We had an awesome chemistry and did a whole lot of (harmless) flirting, but something about him just turned me off. I couldn't put my finger on it until one day it just hit me. All his friends were girls and he was slightly effeminate (that "slightly" already being too much efFEMinate for me). <sigh> Can't help it. Call it a character flaw, I suppose.

I also really like guys who aren't self-conscious. I have enough of that for the both of us, thank you. I don't need someone else to be as paranoid as I am. Generally, I like someone who can calm me where I'm at my most anxious: being in public places, managing finances, making decisions, etc.

So...
[x] Ne/Ni
[x] Ti
[x] Fe
[x] Sincerity
[x] Sharp as a Whip
[x] Christian (that's a personal preference; sawree )
[x] Masculinity. Hawt.
[x] All the other crap I mentioned...


Fuzzy, I don't know any ENFJs, but I think ENFJ/INFP would be great together.
I wish I knew you guys!

 

[Stanton Moore]

I want an empathetic mate. I can let a lot of shit go if it's there. It's more important than intelligence, by far, imo.

 

[neptunesnet]

I want an empathetic mate. I can let a lot of shit go if it's there. It's more important than intelligence, by far, imo.

Agreed.

 

[Thessaly]

Obsession is a turn on.

 

[TheEmeraldCanopy]

Be patient, understanding and gentle with me. Be yourself; make me feel accepted enough to do the same.

 

[Unique]

Obsession is a turn on.

Weird, exactly what I was like with the only girl I loved for a long long time and she didn't respond well at all

She responds well to the "hard to get thing"... I don't have the energy for that though

She's INFP

Strangely another INFP was head over heels for the way I treating this other girl she said "I think I'm in love with you loving ****" sweetest thing ever said to me

and I know it might get asked... why didn't I go for the 2nd INFP... well she moved and lives way too far away now

 

[Udog]

Obsession is a turn on.

Not for the INFPs I've known. Perhaps flattering at first, it quickly becomes way too restricting.

 

[BlackCat]

Not for the INFPs I've known. Perhaps flattering at first, it quickly becomes way too restricting.

I'd say for 3's of some sort the obsession would be taken much better, since 3's love attention. 4w3 INFPs would enjoy it much more IMO... but still too much of a good thing makes it bad.

 

[Udog]

I'd say for 3's of some sort the obsession would be taken much better, since 3's love attention. 4w3 INFPs would enjoy it much more IMO... but still too much of a good thing makes it bad.

Perhaps you are onto something.