I won't even lie, this thread was giving me an upset stomach trying to read it all so I just scanned it. I only wanted to say that I think we all have this narcissistic desire and hope the other person wished they had made a different choice and thinks about/misses us often. The reality is that I think some types move on faster than others and I know for fact many NTs and NFs fall into that group.
As an ENTP, when I'm done I am very very done and unwilling to visit the past. It takes a lot to get me there but once I am, it's over. This combined with always having dated S types who tend to have a harder time moving on I find they tend to wanna visit the past more and express a wish that there had been a different outcome.
Having people in my past that feel were "the one that got away" is more a reflection of my poor choices in a partner as opposed to their mistakes. Whatever the cause, be it Sensors that could never meet my needs, youth, ego, cheating, lack of honesty with me/self or what ever. The real issue if I'm going to be 100% honest with myself in every single case has been more about me and less about the other person.
This may have something to do with my level of autonomy and a desire to learn from everything that has happened in my past knowing that I'm the master of my life and this includes the people I allow into it as well as what they do once inside.
Being Buddhist, I know there are girls in my past that would have been wonderful partners for me however I don't see them as the "ones that got away", I see them as women I wasn't ready for so I stepped aside so they could be with somebody that was ready. I have learned and grown so much from the choices I've made that I liked least or was least proud of that I have zero regrets. One can't be expected to not make mistakes, the only mistake one can make from them is not learning from them.
Now I sit 100% open to love and for the first time in my life able to be a man instead of a boy, I know how to treat a woman with the respect, passion, loyalty, compassion and the honesty I feel should make up the foundation of a healthy relationship. Yet with this internal search and understanding of self comes even less of a willingness to settle for somebody that isn't in the same place. So maybe there's a catch 22 here at play as well.