I'm officially emotionally retarded...

[Halla74]

So I tell my counselor that if I had to place a wager of any magnitude on a decision that I had make using solely my emotions that I would not do it, and that I was begining to think I was emotionally retarded (for lack of a better term).

He laughed and said he had been trying to tell me as such for a few months now. I've been called blunt, crass, and even cold many times throughout my life, but I never thought I would be paralyzed in decision making because of this, because I never believed that there were such things as decisions that had to be made soley with emotions, and that could not be setup in a spreadsheet.

So, my homework is to develop my connectivity with my emotions so that I can become a better developed person.

I have been taksed to ask myself questions (and answer them) such as:

"How do I feel right now?"

"Why do I feel this way?"

"What in my past might be pre-disposing me to have these feelings?"

Etc.

Does this homework I've been assigned seem to be of potential benefit?

Any other tactics that might work?

Any that might work really quickly, maybe a video, or even a few bullet points?



I'm officially a FEEL-o-tard!!!

 

[King sns]

Doesn't a sensotard have to be a non-sensor? anyway, what kind of a decision would be based PURELY on emotions?

 

[spirilis]

LOL wouldn't it be a feel-o-tard?

Do you ever have these gut "hunches" that guide your decisions? I usually view emotional decisions as something like that. If I think about something, then imagine what I would think of it if I were a whiney little child who just wanted his way, it usually produces a "pulling" sensation towards a certain course of action, and that's what I consider my "emotional decision," roughly speaking. With enough practice, that "whiney little child's" thoughts start to take on a more... sophisticated form, like, say, curiously finding its viewpoint congruent with popular moral & ethical principles.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Doesn't a sensotard have to be a non-sensor? anyway, what kind of a decision would be based PURELY on emotions?

You are F so it can be somewhat hard to understand.
I am clearly a emotionally reataird. What means that I am unable to experiance many things that life offers. But I get certain bonuses for being like this. I am not bothered by this, but that is exactly because of emotional deficit. In theory I could use more emotion in my head.

 

[King sns]

You are F so it can be somewhat hard to understand.
I am clearly a emotionally reataird. What means that I am unable to experiance many things that life offers. But I get certain bonuses for being like this. I am not bothered by this, but that is exactly because of emotional deficit. In theory I could use more emotion in my head.

That wasn't my question. Its not about weather you fit in or experience things that life offers, its that I can't think of any decisions that one would ever make purely based on emotions. I can think of a few that CAN be based purely on emotions. Like "I'm going to cancoon next week cause its fun." (that decision would still probably be better made using logic.) But I can't think of any decision that could possibly require emotions only. Even as a feeler, every decision that I make requires logic and I can use emotion if I choose to do so.

 

[Virtual ghost]

That wasn't my question. Its not about weather you fit in or experience things that life offers, its that I can't think of any decisions that one would ever make purely based on emotions. I can think of a few that CAN be based purely on emotions. Like "I'm going to cancoon next week cause its fun." (that decision would still probably be better made using logic.) But I can't think of any decision that could possibly require emotions only. Even as a feeler, every decision that I make requires logic and I can use emotion if I choose to do so.

Well, I wasn't answering your question. I was just trying to offer you a insight about being strong T. Your question stands but that is not what this is all about. Since things are not so black and white.

 

[King sns]

but I never thought I would be paralyzed in decision making because of this, because I never believed that there were such things as decisions that had to be made soley with emotions, and that could not be setup in a spreadsheet.

So, my homework is to develop my connectivity with my emotions so that I can become a better developed person.

I have been taksed to ask myself questions (and answer them) such as:

"How do I feel right now?"

"Why do I feel this way?"

"What in my past might be pre-disposing me to have these feelings?"

Etc.

Does this homework I've been assigned seem to be of potential benefit?

Any other tactics that might work?

Any that might work really quickly, maybe a video, or even a few bullet points?



I'm officially a sensotard!!!

I'm referring to this.

What kind of a decision will paralyze you because you can't use your emotions?
The exercise is good if you want to develop a more sensitive feeling side, but I'm not really quite sure what the end result is supposed to be. (Besides just becoming more generally aware of your emotions.) Are you trying to achieve something?

 

[Halla74]

I'm referring to this.

What kind of a decision will paralyze you because you can't use your emotions?
The exercise is good if you want to develop a more sensitive feeling side, but I'm not really quite sure what the end result is supposed to be. (Besides just becoming more generally aware of your emotions.) Are you trying to achieve something?

To clarify, I would say as a class, the type of decisions that I would cateogrize as such would be very significant decisions specific to serious interpersonal relations. Does that make more sense? Those subject to lots of "Fuzzy Logic." (e.g .You just KNOW which house feels like home, you don't get that from your spreadsheet...)

 

[King sns]

To clarify, I would say as a class, the type of decisions that I would cateogrize as such would be very significant decisions specific to serious interpersonal relations. Does that make more sense? Those subject to lots of "Fuzzy Logic." (e.g .You just KNOW which house feels like home, you don't get that from your spreadsheet...)

I guess so. But is this lack of feeling causing you to not make those kinds of decisions? I mean, it seems to me that a thinker might say, "This house does not feel like a home, I am leaving." Not sit around and wait because they can't make decisions using emotions. You know what I mean? I guess being able to clarify those emotions that you're having may make for a better argument in those cases, and so that you could describe it better to the other person? Is that what you're trying to do?

 

[jenocyde]

1. How can your counselor be trying to tell you something for months? Why doesn't he just say it?? Seems incredible ineffective as a professional. (sorry, just my honest opinion)

2. I could never complete a bs assignment like that. I feel happy or I feel sad. That's about the extent of surface emotions - I feel shit MUCH later, once I've had a chance to think about it. However, I could learn from NOT acting on impulse. If someone is crying, my first instinct is to interrogate. If I take a deep breath and step back and assess, I realize that I should hug first. I learned how to connect to people by stepping back and asking:
"what is it that would make this person feel better?"
"what does this person need me to do right now?"
if I think about acting the way I want to and I know we'll argue about it later: "what would this person say is the root of the argument?", then I would try to avoid that argument by providing what it is that I think they need.

It still has NOTHING to do with how I feel, though... A leopard can't change its spots.

 

[King sns]

It still has NOTHING to do with how I feel, though... A leopard can't change its spots.

And a Halla can't change his T.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I'm referring to this.

I know, but I think you are taking the oiginal information too litteraly.
That is why I said "black and white" part .


I am sorry if I sound like a smartass

 

[Halla74]

1. How can your counselor be trying to tell you something for months? Why doesn't he just say it?? Seems incredible ineffective as a professional. (sorry, just my honest opinion) -/quote]

Agreed, that has not been the only topic though, I guess he's hit on it here and there. I too would have preferred a more direct means of dleivery.

2. I could never complete a bs assignment like that. I feel happy or I feel sad. That's about the extent of surface emotions - I feel shit MUCH later, once I've had a chance to think about it.

HELLO! We're on the same planet! The assignment recommended seems hokey to me too, glad I'm not alone! :

However, I could learn from NOT acting on impulse. If someone is crying, my first instinct is to interrogate.

We might have been separated at birth...

If I take a deep breath and step back and assess, I realize that I should hug first. I learned how to connect to people by stepping back and asking:
"what is it that would make this person feel better?"
"what does this person need me to do right now?"
if I think about acting the way I want to and I know we'll argue about it later: "what would this person say is the root of the argument?", then I would try to avoid that argument by providing what it is that I think they need.

That's alot of work, isn't it?! :doh"

It still has NOTHING to do with how I feel, though... A leopard can't change its spots.

Apparently not, so why I am being told to analyze my coat?

 

[Halla74]

And a Halla can't change his T.

Haaa! Need the laugh today, thanks!

Nope, I can't change my T, but apparently I need to develop more F according to some.

Maybe I just need to get F'd more often?

 

[King sns]

Well, according to some, but.....
what i'm trying to get at, (without articulating very well) is,

Do YOU want to develop a feeling side?
And if so, what would be the benefit? (Besides doing fluffy exercises in a nice office and maybe not saying funny things any more for fear of not being sensitive or politically correct.)

 

[jenocyde]

That's alot of work, isn't it?! :doh"

The way I see it is that it's a lot less work to figure out how someone else feels, then it is to identify my own emotions. Because once I start to try to identify my emotions, I pull myself out of actually feeling them, then it all becomes fake. And then I question if I'm really feeling that, or if I just think I'm supposed to feel that. It's a never ending cycle. It's easier to just hug the damn person in the first place.

and yes, getting F'd more would help me get in touch, hahahaha...

 

[Halla74]

Good for you, you are better at staying on track than me, even in my own thread.

Do YOU want to develop a feeling side?

Yes, so long as it does not interfere with my thinking side, which I am very fond of.

And if so, what would be the benefit? (Besides doing fluffy exercises in a nice office and maybe not saying funny things any more for fear of not being sensitive or politically correct.)

Recently I have tried to make a few big personal decisions. i have done more research on the topics than any ever could, as I take my life seriously, and will make decision of large magnitude without considering all consequences. I hold myself accountable for my decisions and thus must be OK with them to the Nth degree, where N increases with the relative importance of the decision.

When all the analysis was done, and all the numbers crunched, and scenarios considered, I realized that I had not considered my feelings in all this, not significantly anyway. And at that time, I tried to apply them to the body of work that I had put together, as the final missing ingredient to make it all clear and allow me to choose my path and proceed forward, but there was nothing to apply. So, I'm either devoid of summoning my emotions for purposes of decision making when needed, or I am emtoionally drained and paralyzed to use them in this capacity at this time.

Does that make any sense?

 

[Halla74]

The way I see it is that it's a lot less work to figure out how someone else feels, then it is to identify my own emotions. Because once I start to try to identify my emotions, I pull myself out of actually feeling them, then it all becomes fake. And then I question if I'm really feeling that, or if I just think I'm supposed to feel that. It's a never ending cycle. It's easier to just hug the damn person in the first place.

and yes, getting F'd more would help me get in touch, hahahaha...

You might have hit a big nail right on the head. WOW. Especially with "It's easier to just hug the damn person in the first place."

This is kind of freaking me out a little bit; I'm pretty sure I've been in a spot like this before:

Because once I start to try to identify my emotions, I pull myself out of actually feeling them, then it all becomes fake.

Bottom line is though, if I KNOW how I feel about something, and am asked to describe it, I can blurt it out with exacting detail, in speech or writing. It's the whole figuring out how I feel about something that has become the real thorn in my side.

 

[Domino]

lol - good thing we love Feel-O-Tards here at Typology Central.

Just do your best to develop your inner awareness - I'm the feeler-y of the Feelers, and I *still* had to reach hard for my emotional truth. Programming is difficult to break.

 

[Halla74]

lol - good thing we love Feel-O-Tards here at Typology Central.

Just do your best to develop your inner awareness - I'm the feeler-y of the Feelers, and I *still* had to reach hard for my emotional truth. Programming is difficult to break.

I'm trying Pinky! I want to be a good boy!