[MBTI General] I'm Not Good at Being a "Girl"

[Hera]

I am biologically female, but I am hella awkward at being what people think that means.

I try to curl my hair and it comes out a mess, I try to apply my makeup but it looks caked-on and obvious, I try to giggle and I sound like I'm sneezing or horking, I try to apply self-tanner and I look like a patchy crocodile... I'm just not good at being conventionally pretty, a conventional girl. I don't know why I try, I think it has a lot to do with getting people to leave me alone about why I am who I am. It got tiring to explain why I think it's much more important to be complimented on my intellect and not my "pretty face" and expecting to be treated like an intellectual equal to others instead of being patronized.

I say we riot, ladies. Who's with me?

(Or I can stop caring and put up with the flack. Whatever, rioting is much more interesting.)

 

[redcheerio]

I say we riot, ladies. Who's with me?

<- (see avatar )

 

[Totenkindly]

If we riot, can we blow things up? I like pretty explosions with lots of fire and noise.

You can take them from the outside.
I'm more of an "inside agent / spy" -- I look like one of them ("the girl next door") but they don't know how subversive I am. I like it that way, it leaves me a lot of flexibility.

I like being complimented for my intellect and I don't tolerate people disrespecting my intelligence; but at the same time, I like being recognized for many different things, even if I value some of those things (e.g., intelligence) more than others.

 

[Such Irony]

Hera, I saw your picture. You look beautiful.

 

[Hera]

Hera, I saw your picture. You look beautiful.

Thank you.

I'm not saying that being beautiful is a bad thing for anyone, I just don't understand why when I try to be a conventional girl it doesn't work out, it convinces others but I feel like I'm less me when I'm dressed up. You know? I only really do my hair/makeup for work.

 

[Hera]

You can take them from the outside.
I'm more of an "inside agent / spy" -- I look like one of them ("the girl next door") but they don't know how subversive I am. I like it that way, it leaves me a lot of flexibility.

I only appreciate it for this reason. Get them off-guard. Nothing is more shocking than a female NT for most people.

 

[funkadelik]

I've been told that I come across as feminine on the outside, but masculine on the inside.

Whatever THAT means.

Maybe they meant I'm like a geode...except with penises and vaginas instead of amethyst crystals.

 

[Hera]

I've been told that I come across as feminine on the outside, but masculine on the inside.

Whatever THAT means.

Maybe they meant I'm like a geode...except with penises and vaginas instead of amethyst crystals.

A lot of people tell me that my personality is way too masculine, and it offends me only because the traits they're talking about are inherently human. Why is rationality, logic, or being stoic masculine? As a woman, I'm expected to be whiny, emotionally-driven, unfunny, and illogical. I'm sorry I can't live up to those very dignifying and natural expectations.

I am a freak of nature.

 

[Patches]

Im not particularly feminine either. I'd say my only qualm with that is... When girls are doing "Girls Night Out" kind of things, no one ever thinks to invite me, because I'm not girly (Rightfully so, I probably wouldn't enjoy it.) When guys do, "Guys night out" kind of things... Be it a Strip club or a LAN party... They rarely think to invite me, because despite my more masculine personality - I am still a chick. It just sort of sticks you in the social limbo where you really only get invited to situations that are perceived as gender-neutral like bar or movies.

Other than that... I have no issues with my "less than feminine" personality.

 

[Mole]

A Good Girl

I am actually good at being a girl even though I am a bloke. I think it is because I have been ineluctably drawn to girls all my life. I even read my mother's Women's Weekly magazines in order to understand women. So I understand women as a hunter understands the hunted. I understand how they think, I understand how they feel, so much so I can flirt with any of them. The hunter waits and watches and observes the habits and mores of the hunted. And the hunter becomes the hunted just as I become a girl.

And when I become the girl, I can follow her every movement, her every intonation, her every intention. And as I mirror her, she mistakes me for herself. But by then it is too late. I am too close. And as I close in, we both hold our breath together.

 

[redcheerio]

I am actually good at being a girl even though I am a bloke. I think it is because I have been ineluctably drawn to girls all my life. I even read my mother's Women's Weekly magazines in order to understand women. So I understand women as a hunter understands the hunted. I understand how they think, I understand how they feel, so much so I can flirt with any of them. The hunter waits and watches and observes the habits and mores of the hunted. And the hunter becomes the hunted just as I become a girl.

And when I become the girl, I can follow her every movement, her every intonation, her every intention. And as I mirror her, she mistakes me for herself. But by then it is too late. I am too close. And as I close in, we both hold our breath together.

Hm, the first few sentences sound nice, but the "hunter/hunted" metaphor makes it sound more like an ad for a "How to Stalk Women" course....




Show me that's not it...?

 

[Amargith]

Hera, try looking at make-up the way you'd look at any creative endeavor (like drawing or painting) and realize it can a) be very fun to muck about with colours and try out the craziest things (you can remove it afterwards anyways <3) and b) it's an art in itself. It's quite a challenge to be good at it

Often the people with the least experience end up with pumpkin orange faces, ime (and hell, with all the confusing stuff out there, it's only normal )

 

[Octarine]

A lot of people tell me that my personality is way too masculine, and it offends me only because the traits they're talking about are inherently human. Why is rationality, logic, or being stoic masculine?

Because these characteristics are more commonly associated with males. People like to generalise and stereotype because it makes their life easier. If it is not one thing (female stereotypes), it is another (MBTI)...

There is always dissonance between behaviour and initial expectations, this is common no matter who you are. But the effect is obviously greater for those who are more likely to deviate from the norm. No one likes being placed in boxes by other people, but we have to expect that they will and commit to being ourselves anyway. If you don't like applying fake tan and make up, then don't do it!
The cementing of our identity is something we all go through in our 20s.

Hera, try looking at make-up the way you'd look at any creative endeavor (like drawing or painting) and realize it can a) be very fun to muck about with colours and try out the craziest things (you can remove it afterwards anyways <3) and b) it's an art in itself. It's quite a challenge to be good at it

Applying makeup is certainly a creative endeavour, but the fact is that you are still presenting yourself as an artwork. This is fine if this is who you are, but....

 

[Amargith]

Nobody says you have to wear it while going outside. Besides, you already *are* a work of art, both as a human but also through the clothes you choose, whatever your style is. It's already going to portray an image of who you are. I don't see the problem with actually following up on that with make-up. Additionally, many people who dislike the look of make up often refer to the make up that is clearly visible on the face and overdone. And..ironically, it's often people who don't practise this 'skill' that end up looking like that while often being part of the population that indeed *hates* that particular overdone look. It takes some insight and refinement to be able to pick the right products and apply them correctly and achieve a naturally enhancing look, instead of a painting on your face-feel.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating that everyone *should* wear make up. I'm just advocating that nobody who actually feels the need to wear make up (be it through peer pressure or through sheer attraction to what it can do), should have to feel awkward and frustrated when they actually *do* use it.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I'm Not Good at Being a "Girl".

 

[Thalassa]

That's cool, you should just be who you are.

Sometimes I'm a little too good at being a girl, but it surprises people. Like "what did you do with Marm? Who is this pretty girl? Shall I take a picture?"

It's all relative. You are who you are. I do not think you are a freak of nature. I think you are simply not what society dictates to you to be a gender role. You are so much more interesting than that.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm Not Good at Being a "Girl".

Your icon and user title are fantastic.

 

[Totenkindly]

I am actually good at being a girl even though I am a bloke. I think it is because I have been ineluctably drawn to girls all my life. I even read my mother's Women's Weekly magazines in order to understand women. So I understand women as a hunter understands the hunted. I understand how they think, I understand how they feel, so much so I can flirt with any of them. The hunter waits and watches and observes the habits and mores of the hunted. And the hunter becomes the hunted just as I become a girl.

TBH, your writing style might be very N, but I don't think I've ever scanned you as female. (The "hunter/hunted" comments don't help much either. )

Maybe they meant I'm like a geode...except with penises and vaginas instead of amethyst crystals.

Thanks for that, I laughed out loud. At work.

A lot of people tell me that my personality is way too masculine, and it offends me only because the traits they're talking about are inherently human. Why is rationality, logic, or being stoic masculine? As a woman, I'm expected to be whiny, emotionally-driven, unfunny, and illogical. I'm sorry I can't live up to those very dignifying and natural expectations.

I don't know what your particular environment is, but I think it's more about task-orientation (maybe not the right term, but I can't think of it at the moment) vs nurturing. Obviously a "woman" is whatever a woman happens to be and a "man" likewise (we are whatever we are), but I think people are less hung up on the strongly emotive and irrational aspects you describe as female here and more on that behavior that shows up more typically in females -- the same sense used when having a baby and raising kids. Even detached, rational, tough women are capable of exuding it, so it's not really about rationality vs irrationality although our culture tries to define it as such perhaps. I think T women are more apt to express it after having children, although not nearly so overtly as more emotive women.

I'm just advocating that nobody who actually feels the need to wear make up (be it through peer pressure or through sheer attraction to what it can do), should have to feel awkward and frustrated when they actually *do* use it.

There's a range of how makeup can be used, but I think often the best makeup is makeup one does not even realize is there... it just brings out the natural lines and coloration and enhances them. And for those who don't like having to wear it, that's probably the best of both worlds.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

I just don't understand why when I try to be a conventional girl it doesn't work out, it convinces others but I feel like I'm less me when I'm dressed up. You know? I only really do my hair/makeup for work.

I'm the same way. I feel like I'm handicapped at being conventionally female when it comes to those things. I just can't figure out how other chicks do it.

 

[mmhmm]

I'm the same way. I feel like I'm handicapped at being conventionally female when it comes to those things. I just can't figure out how other chicks do it.

post a picture of yourself in your swimmers. preferably bikini.
i'll validate you.