[MBTI General] How to sustain a conversation that you have no interest in?

[Synarch]

Generally, you could ask them questions about themselves and put yourself to the task of finding something of interest in it and maybe rise to the challenge of being social and courteous. Keep digging.

 

[Thursday]

Generally, you could ask them questions about themselves and put yourself to the task of finding something of interest in it and maybe rise to the challenge of being social and courteous. Keep digging.

or....just ask them a question about themselves
people will then feel obliged to brag and boast - you can then go stand in the line at the 2nd nearest starbucks

by then - they should be done

 

[Synarch]

As someone with a short attention span it is a constant struggle to stay interested in what other people say especially if it is not altogether instantly compelling, but I know implicitly that it has nothing to do with the other person, so I do try to make an honest effort even if it's just an attempt at optimizing my own discipline.

 

[BlackOp]

Here is where the "conflict" lies. My type is rare (I think "realized" intj's are far less than 1 in a 100) and this leads to problems. People arent acclimated to dealing with the "ultra-criticals" in light social environments.....it is uncomfortable. No one likes to have their shortcomings exposed in such an effortless manor...its unconsciously threatening. Sensors detect this immediately...and they are everywhere. It is terrible to know you are doing it as it happens but cant control it....its just the energy that projects from you. I try to 'dumb down" and am an absolute failure...like a zebra in a tree. I'm not fooling anybody. I know it makes them uncomfortable and just play damage control....but what about me? No one seems to take the same strides and its frustrating. I really want to be better at it.:steam:

 

[Synarch]

No one likes to have their shortcomings exposed in such effortless manor...it threatening.

You will be hard-pressed to find someone who actually enjoys this. Some will handle with equanimity while many will take offense. If you would be liked, be likable. I daresay being critical will not get you there, though you and I would probably enjoy a little competitive debate, which would likely annoy anyone else not actively competing. If you can't be charming just smile and ask basic questions. The most charming people I have ever met were the ones who imposed themselves the least and who were the most receptive and attentive to their conversational companions.

 

[Synarch]

Also for general guidelines on the social graces I have always enjoyed, Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son: The Letters of the Earl of ... - Google Book Search

Highly recommended.

 

[BlackOp]

Also for general guidelines on the social graces I have always enjoyed, Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son: The Letters of the Earl of ... - Google Book Search

Highly recommended.

I am a terrible liar........but at my finest when I'm surrounded by them. Not surprising they fail to recognize my "charm".........

 

[Synarch]

The only thing anyone recognizes is their own charm, which is why to charm you must be charmed.

The people who do not project their own ego will like you anyway.

 

[Bella]

The only thing anyone recognizes is their own charm, which is why to charm you must be charmed.

The people who do not project their own ego will like you anyway.

Synarch, meet Victor.....Victor, meet Synarch.

 

[Synarch]

Synarch, meet Victor.....Victor, meet Synarch.

Who is Victor, Bella?

 

[Bella]

He's a slice of crazy deliciousness, here on the forum.
I think the two of you might enjoy each other....

(the way you worded your last post reminded me of his posts, that's all)

 

[BlackOp]

The only thing anyone recognizes is their own charm, which is why to charm you must be charmed.

The people who do not project their own ego will like you anyway.

I can charm the dress off a nun..... This thread wasnt meant as a pity party....I can strangle spiders with their own web. Flanking isnt my weakness..the fact I am in a constant state of war is. Maybe acting class is my best bet.

 

[Synarch]

I can charm the dress off a nun.....

The truly charming would just do it and let the results speak for themselves. Actions are louder than words. Also, nuns wear habits, not dresses per se.

 

[BlackOp]

nuns wear habits, not dresses per se.

Charm killer.......and black isnt a color.

 

[SillySapienne]

 

[Synarch]

Charm killer.......and black isnt a color.

In additive processes, black is the quintessence of color.

Though from a physics perspective, black is the absence of color?

 

[BlackOp]

I black is the absence of color?

and a nun is the absence of hot......I think we are saying the same thing. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? My educated guess is three....but I dont trust owls. (old 70's commercial)

 

[Rachelinpa]

Ask them anything you can think of, and mention anything you know about what their answer is.

My INTJ female friend uses this tactic. She fires off questions like a senior detective. Most sensors take well to her interrogation as she only asks what she actually wants to know and most people like to talk about themselves, so it keeps it fairly interesting for both parties.

Personally, I do not understand why you would want to sustain a boring conversation in the first place. Seems like a waste of time and energy. Either avoid it or change it.

 

[Mempy]

This thread is boring.

 

[INTJMom]

and a nun is the absence of hot......I think we are saying the same thing. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? My educated guess is three....but I dont trust owls. (old 70's commercial)

So you're old enough to remember that commercial?


How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie


My suggestion:
Learn to not be so selfish and self-centered because it's offensive and/or hurtful to other people.
That's what I had to do.