LostInNerSpace
New member
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2008
- Messages
- 1,027
- MBTI Type
- INTP
Oh, no. You dug up one of my old threads. It's sooo embarrassing. Let me find a post to hide behind.
How's your love life?Oh, no. You dug up one of my old threads. It's sooo embarrassing. Let me find a post to hide behind.
You may think you're keeping it to yourself but believe me, maybe it's because I'm a F-dom myself, but with Fi-doms they're feelings just emanate from them in pulsing waves without saying a word. When it's a good mood, it's a silent cheery buoyancy like a fragrant flower in the room contributing to the overall pleasantness and well-being of the atmosphere. When it's bad it's this inexplicable draining energy.
This is an interesting thread.....
Some noted patterns in ENFJs I know IRL:
- Uncanny ability to discuss personal topics without revealing a lot of personal info about themselves.
- Most of the male ENFJs have this nonchalant, faux-caddish attitude. It's like they pretend to be arrogant, but with a wink so that it's almost self-deprecating instead. I'm not sure how to explain it....it's terribly charming though
- Seek out, create, maintain, and organize social connections above almost anything else. They make friends, or friendly connections, rather easily. They don't see themselves as social butterflies though, because they have high standards for friends - so anything less than "deep" is not seen as anything extraordinary. From my perspective though, it is interesting how easily they get a response from people and how well they adapt to the other person to do so.
- Most of the ones I know are not ambitious in the way the "typical" J is. The dreamer/idealistic/perfectionist aspect of being an NF can get in the way, or their ambitions are so much in the interpersonal realm that practical goals get put on the back burner.
How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read?
Well, on social networking sites, they often have little personal info, but a lot of interests and opinions listed. In a contradiction of that they'll sometimes have a blog entry that is very personal in nature, or they'll post rather emotionally dramatic statements for their statuses (but often vague again). Many of the ones I know like to write, so blogs are a big thing for them.
And will participate in a belching contest with no worries of not being lady like:yim_rolling_on_the_ In fact probably initiated it.
haha, Are you for real? "Transfer"?I know only one guy who I'm absolutely sure of that he's an ENFJ. He always comes across as if he's trying to imitate George Clooney's facial expressions and body language. He's very charismatic, he always tries to be in the spotlights and he makes a lot of jokes. He tries to come across as very intelligent, but he doesn't even know what the word "transfer" means.
haha, Are you for real? "Transfer"?
( SORRY, I know this thread was about how to spot an ENFJ, but reading all those traits made me want to post this...)
I'm a female late 20-something INFP (adjustable I/E and F/T , no compromise on the N and P) and I'm hopelessly, hopelessly still attracted to a 40-something man whom I'm sure is an ENFJ.
I just find him so enigmatic , intelligent, truly nice and sooooo fiendishly polite in an utterly sexy way. But he can also be a riot and life of the party too ( something I think is wonderful ). He's just all cautious exuberant warmth with dark pools of doubt which I reckon very few get to see.
At one point we were in a romantic online relationship together,meeting up very occasionally for a few friendly 'dates'. There would have been more but I was much younger than him and shy ( in real life ), and I sense he didn't want to scare me off...and he enjoyed the unfolding process , taking things slow. I was rather outrageous ( in a subtle way, of course ) in our online and phone chats....good times...
On our first meet together I was very very shy and I'll always remember the way he held out his palm to me with a smile as soon as I mentioned I dabbled in palmistry for fun. It was his way of making me feel comfortable. We were sitting at a cafe and as the conversation progressed he would playfully and gently nudge his knees against mine..."I like you" without actually saying a word. It wasn't long before we were nudging each other back and forth in return under the table while chatting non-chalantly. It just felt so sweet at the time
Alas...he was a married man, separated, but married nonetheless. I was only planning on being friends with him, and I like to think I nurtured his ego and spirit back to health ( he caught his wife , a beautiful woman whom he loved, cheating on him again with the same man after he thought they worked things out).
When I found myself actually in love with him, I panicked , backed off, thinking that if it was meant to be , he would find me after his separation. But I did'nt know how to express my feelings verbally...all he saw was a sudden slew of mixed signs and my fumbled , angry ( at myself ) attempts at goodbye. I think it confused him and turned him off. We more or less parted ways on those confused terms.
I did occasionally try to touch base a few times to say hello after that, but there was a wall. I sensed he would not appreciate me asking about his martial status. After a while I gave up any hope I had. I had a few rebound flings in college but I couldn’t forget him or stop thinking about him.
To cut a long story short ( HAH! Too late for that ! ) he did send me an IM out of the blue one day to say hello…unfortunately that happened to be the eve of my wedding day…
I found out recently that he did divorce his first wife. And remarried another lady with children not long after I got married. So I guess things worked out they way they did for a reason…but I still wonder sometimes, if I had waited a little longer or if he had said hello a little sooner…