[ISFP] How to make an ISFP fall in L-O-V-E

[Luke]

Hi Luke, you definitely have more a of grip on the whole methodology and mechanics of personality typing than I do. I don't even really get the whole Fe Fi thing...it reminds me of the elemental table and I never memorized that either.

I do have to say though, that the ISTJ and ENFP thing -- perhaps that is not going by MBTI but Socionics typing. My long time friend is an ISTJ according to MBTI and HAHAHAHAHAH hell no we could never be in a relationship. Her J gets much more prononuced and rigid as time passes (been a decade) and now she is constantly exasperated by me. That is the exact word. Exasperated. Like an overtaxed mother of a toddler or den mother of an unruly brownie troupe. She is so literal and so linear thinking, she totally puts a damper on my escapades! She even told me I need to see her therapist!!! Just because I told her about my latest romantic fling. I do help her relax and cut loose though.

Well I dunno, maybe you do need to see a therapist.

Si is one trait that helps you memorize lots of variables. In ENFP, it's weak but in the preferred category -- i.e. if you exercise it, or see someone using it, it will make you feel better. Your ISTJ friend is probably exasperated by your failure to listen to what her Si has to say.

IJ types are actually less J than they seem and IP types are less P than they seem. ISTJ however is more S than they seem. J and S stereotypes overlap significantly, so probably that's what's getting to you. Si is very inflexible because the person does not want their physical world to undergo unnecessary change. They instead try to make life more comfortable and cozy. Ne types all crave this, because physical chaos distracts from their ability to make abstract observations.

If you're ENFJ that would make ISTJ your conflicting type. (ISTP would be your dual in that case.) But I think more likely this is a dual you're talking about -- you've been friends for a decade, and it sounds like they are criticizing areas you could benefit from improvement on anyway (and vice versa -- at least duality is symmetric). Out of curiosity, have your relationships with ISTP types been more positive or negative?

 

[hotmale]

If you're ENFJ that would make ISTJ your conflicting type. (ISTP would be your dual in that case.) But I think more likely this is a dual you're talking about -- you've been friends for a decade, and it sounds like they are criticizing areas you could benefit from improvement on anyway (and vice versa -- at least duality is symmetric). Out of curiosity, have your relationships with ISTP types been more positive or negative?

I've noticed that people of the same personality tend to be good critics of each other, especially ESTJs- I tend to listen to other ESTJs if they are being critical.

 

[Jeffster]

Yeah. I know I'm digging up old threads, but I needed some stimulation, dammit, and I just felt like hanging out in the Arthouse and just taking it all in.

This thread is hilarious. And makes me want to fall in love again. Making me fall in love really only takes two things:

1. Give me lots of attention
2. Be awesome.

One way of doing #2 is by doing #1. Other ways include giggling a lot, talking cute, twirling your hair, banging your head to the music, putting your bare feet up on the dash, singing happy songs, being goofy, putting your head on my shoulder, smelling nice, suggesting goofy activities, wearing tight colorful clothes, looking at me with wide eyes, complimenting my musical knowledge and overall awesomeness, giving me random little gifts (especially ones you made like made out of paper with markers and colors and writing on it that says stuff like "Special Jeff"), drinking a large amount of soda and then either belching loudly or saying "ahhhhhh" in a very refreshing way, doing jumping jacks or various cheerleader routines, watching movies with me, eating buttery popcorn and licking the butter off your fingers, spinning around in a circle until you're dizzy and falling down, giving me a back/shoulder rub, cleaning my apartment, cooking good food for me, making me a yummy smoothie, saying random stuff, calling me goofy names you came up with, sucking the spaghetti up into your mouth, playing video games, talking like Simpsons characters, talking and playing with my son, cutting my son's hair, jumping on a trampoline, wearing camo, kicking and punching the air like you're doing martial arts, actually doing martial arts, catching the rain with your tongue, eating an ice cream cone upside down, valuing life, praying with me, listening to music with me, whispering in my ear, going to waterparks with me in your hot swimsuit, playing beach volleyball, coloring, surprising me, letting me surprise you, smiling, laughing, holding my hand, winking at me, making up funny words, talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, giving gifts to strangers, riding the shopping cart down the aisle (wheeeeeeeeeeee!), spontaneously declaring a thumb war, making me breakfast, calling me on the phone to ask questions about stuff i know or just to tell me you were thinking about me, skipping, saying something would be better with nougat, writing my name on a balloon and giving it to me, going to church with me, introducing me to people, kissing me in random places, kicking your shoes off, pointing out my sexiness, stopping to feed squirrels, playing songs on the jukebox, eating hot dogs, cheering for our sports teams or Morgan's teams, listening to the radio with me, working out with me (preferably in awesome tight workout outfit), spelling words with the letters in your alpha-bits, wearing your hair in different cute ways, gently head-butting me in the chest, enjoying monster truck shows, telling me what's on your mind, crying when it's time to, letting me cheer you up, watching the sunset with me, giving me that look that says you can see deep into my soul and hear every bit of the light and the darkness and the fear and the insanity and the spirit and you still want to be with me as much as ever.

So, yeah, it's not too difficult. There's so many ways, and so little time. Get busy.

 

[Sunshine]

I would think the ISFP would be the easiest to make fall in (and out of) love.

No actually. Well not all of them anyway. Certainly not me.

 

[Sunshine]

Oh, I wanted to mention that ENFPs are the type that need affirmations the most--I know, my mom is one!--and ISFPs have to learn to respond to that need. Don't expect it to happen immediately! They present their love in more physical than verbal ways.

Yuuup. Agreed. If you want verbal affirmation you might have to right out ask for it.

 

[SillySapienne]

Yeah. I know I'm digging up old threads, but I needed some stimulation, dammit, and I just felt like hanging out in the Arthouse and just taking it all in.

This thread is hilarious. And makes me want to fall in love again. Making me fall in love really only takes two things:

1. Give me lots of attention
2. Be awesome.

One way of doing #2 is by doing #1. Other ways include giggling a lot, talking cute, twirling your hair, banging your head to the music, putting your bare feet up on the dash, singing happy songs, being goofy, putting your head on my shoulder, smelling nice, suggesting goofy activities, wearing tight colorful clothes, looking at me with wide eyes, complimenting my musical knowledge and overall awesomeness, giving me random little gifts (especially ones you made like made out of paper with markers and colors and writing on it that says stuff like "Special Jeff"), drinking a large amount of soda and then either belching loudly or saying "ahhhhhh" in a very refreshing way, doing jumping jacks or various cheerleader routines, watching movies with me, eating buttery popcorn and licking the butter off your fingers, spinning around in a circle until you're dizzy and falling down, giving me a back/shoulder rub, cleaning my apartment, cooking good food for me, making me a yummy smoothie, saying random stuff, calling me goofy names you came up with, sucking the spaghetti up into your mouth, playing video games, talking like Simpsons characters, talking and playing with my son, cutting my son's hair, jumping on a trampoline, wearing camo, kicking and punching the air like you're doing martial arts, actually doing martial arts, catching the rain with your tongue, eating an ice cream cone upside down, valuing life, praying with me, listening to music with me, whispering in my ear, going to waterparks with me in your hot swimsuit, playing beach volleyball, coloring, surprising me, letting me surprise you, smiling, laughing, holding my hand, winking at me, making up funny words, talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, giving gifts to strangers, riding the shopping cart down the aisle (wheeeeeeeeeeee!), spontaneously declaring a thumb war, making me breakfast, calling me on the phone to ask questions about stuff i know or just to tell me you were thinking about me, skipping, saying something would be better with nougat, writing my name on a balloon and giving it to me, going to church with me, introducing me to people, kissing me in random places, kicking your shoes off, pointing out my sexiness, stopping to feed squirrels, playing songs on the jukebox, eating hot dogs, cheering for our sports teams or Morgan's teams, listening to the radio with me, working out with me (preferably in awesome tight workout outfit), spelling words with the letters in your alpha-bits, wearing your hair in different cute ways, gently head-butting me in the chest, enjoying monster truck shows, telling me what's on your mind, crying when it's time to, letting me cheer you up, watching the sunset with me, giving me that look that says you can see deep into my soul and hear every bit of the light and the darkness and the fear and the insanity and the spirit and you still want to be with me as much as ever.

Talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, lol, oddly enough, I do that, sometimes.

"Pointing out your sexiness".

lol

Jeffster, you crack me up!!!

Great post.

 

[Sunshine]

The Fi is important. You both have it; you both will focus on values in a situation.

[Example: I know in one situation with a close ISFP friend, his priority was who was getting hurt in a situation whereas mine was "what is the best long-term solution for everyone, regardless of feelings." This was typical. ESFPs can get flightly; ISFPs are more quiet and stable with their Fi, like INFP. Actually in some ways they can seem more stable, since N can cause a wild ride, while S is practical.]

Yeah totally. With all the ISFPs I know they absolutely can't stand hurting people. Errr....hmmm well actually...for me (as an ISFP) I guess my approach is more like yours...like if my mom asks for my opinion on what she's wearing and what she's wearing is hideous I'll tell her (in a gentle way) even if it hurts her feelings a little because I wouldn't want her to walk out of the house like that which would be way worse than the tiny bit of unhappyness she'd feel when I tell her her outfit isn't flattering. But you are right...instinctively I'll focus on/gravitate towards simply the present emotional aspect of the situation and getting that to be the best possible and then if I see that it's a serious situation I'll step back and look at the best possible solution even if it means people get hurt a little in order for the best outcome...lol apparently what people wear is a very serious matter for me. =P I'd never not consider feelings though...I just couldn't do it...after all that's the whole point anyway...if the best solution won't make you feel the best in the end then it's not the best possible solution. The goal is for people to be the happiest they can be.

 

[Jeffster]

Talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, lol, oddly enough, I do that, sometimes.

I know, I heard your rap.

OH SNAP!

"Pointing out your sexiness".

lol

Jeffster, you crack me up!!!

Great post.

I know. It was the best post EVAR since the last one I did.

 

[riel]

I don't know about male ISFP's, but I know how to get the female ones to fall in love with me.

No, really, it's not bad. You just have to be really sweet to them.

You got that right. Damn it!

 

[warm8]

wow, it's unfortunate that this thread is about 2 years old. I'm an ISFP and my girlfriend is ENFP and I could write an essay on how this ENFP made me fall for her

 

[Just another ISTJ]

wow, it's unfortunate that this thread is about 2 years old. I'm an ISFP and my girlfriend is ENFP and I could write an essay on how this ENFP made me fall for her

Hold up warm8, age isn't everything. Spill the beans if you will.

 

[warm8]

Hold up warm8, age isn't everything. Spill the beans if you will.

well I'm feeling a little lazy right now so an essay will have to pass, but Jeffster wrote an essay on it on the last page if you're curious. :]

but naw, for me to fall in love with the girl, she pretty much has to be what's been already said: exciting, life-loving, silly, attentive, serious when she has to be, devoted, sympathetic, motherly at times

I dunno! what the thread author said about the semi-duality between ISFPs and ENFPs is definitely very true and keeps things intriguing, although ENFPs tend to go do their own thing sometimes and that might be taken the wrong way. goes away with time though

 

[Julie1962]

Do ISFP, really, really, REALLY like sex?

QUOTE]

You're kidding, right?

For me .. it's best not to come on too strong in the beginning perhaps playing hard to get. I needed to observe someone for a while to decide if it's safe to become close to that person. Also .. I hate having to explain myself; my feelings, thoughts, and opinions. So it's best not to ask open ended questions. I'm liable to avoid people that ask too much of me or make me feel inept with communicating these things. A great sense of humor helps and is an icebreaker! The thing I hate most is being with someone so outgoing that they draw attention to us. Good manners in public is a must.

Good luck!

Good luck!

 

[riel]

Yes, I've noticed ISFP girls tend to be low energy types.

My mom always says that I am slow in doing things

 

[Fading Dead Star]

I think you should do a lot of the talking, since he may have trouble with that initially, even after several conversations. After that he may join in with equal enthusiasm.

 

[Kambro]

This is a classic example of the Socionics Problem. People think J/P definitions can be copied straight over, when in reality they mean the opposite thing for introverts in the Myers-Briggs system. If I'm an INTP according to the MBTI, that means Ti and Ne are my preferred traits. Which means I'm an LII, commonly called INTj in Socionics. (Socionics only uses it this way unofficially anyway... the three-letter system is more canonical.) The same rules logically hold for sensor introverts. If he's an SEI (ISFp) in Socionics, then it follows that his MBTI designation is ISFJ -- because he's a Si-dominant type with Fe-supporting. In Socionics, the dual is someone whose first three letters are different. In MBTI, the dual is someone who has all four letters different. (The semi-dual of ENFP is actually what we would call an ISFJ.)

Basically what it amounts to is you can't trust that fourth letter. But personality typing being what it is, you shouldn't be trusting it anyway, not without some reservations. It's very easy (and potentially hazardous) to get it wrong. So if you ever go dual-hunting, the best thing is to get a mental list of potential duals where you know the first three letters are almost certainly correct (opposite your own), then carefully eliminate the ones who make you uncomfortable from the list. These will be most likely the Conflicting types, who have the wrong fourth letter, and might tend to feel threatened (rather than helped) by your strengths. Also beware that duals are more "invisible" than conflictors -- they seem more ordinary and less noticeable seeming.

ISFP and ENFP share Fi in common, but the Se is theoretically "at odds with" the Ne. So if this is the right typing on both counts, you are the supervisor of the ISFP -- always dominating his area of greatest vulnerability. I will leave it to your own judgment as to whether you want to go through with this; I'm a big duality fan myself. If he's ISFJ (aka Socionics ISFp), the semi-dual, it might be a pretty good idea -- some people think it's better to have one of the middle letters in common. But in this case you'll have to be prepared to put up with his being at odds with your Fi due to his Fe on the auxiliary side.

Any advise on a male INTJ female ISFP combination ito socionics?

 

[Kambro]

ISFP women

wow, it's unfortunate that this thread is about 2 years old. I'm an ISFP and my girlfriend is ENFP and I could write an essay on how this ENFP made me fall for her

Please do so

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Yeah. I know I'm digging up old threads, but I needed some stimulation, dammit, and I just felt like hanging out in the Arthouse and just taking it all in.

This thread is hilarious. And makes me want to fall in love again. Making me fall in love really only takes two things:

1. Give me lots of attention
2. Be awesome.

One way of doing #2 is by doing #1. Other ways include giggling a lot, talking cute, twirling your hair, banging your head to the music, putting your bare feet up on the dash, singing happy songs, being goofy, putting your head on my shoulder, smelling nice, suggesting goofy activities, wearing tight colorful clothes, looking at me with wide eyes, complimenting my musical knowledge and overall awesomeness, giving me random little gifts (especially ones you made like made out of paper with markers and colors and writing on it that says stuff like "Special Jeff"), drinking a large amount of soda and then either belching loudly or saying "ahhhhhh" in a very refreshing way, doing jumping jacks or various cheerleader routines, watching movies with me, eating buttery popcorn and licking the butter off your fingers, spinning around in a circle until you're dizzy and falling down, giving me a back/shoulder rub, cleaning my apartment, cooking good food for me, making me a yummy smoothie, saying random stuff, calling me goofy names you came up with, sucking the spaghetti up into your mouth, playing video games, talking like Simpsons characters, talking and playing with my son, cutting my son's hair, jumping on a trampoline, wearing camo, kicking and punching the air like you're doing martial arts, actually doing martial arts, catching the rain with your tongue, eating an ice cream cone upside down, valuing life, praying with me, listening to music with me, whispering in my ear, going to waterparks with me in your hot swimsuit, playing beach volleyball, coloring, surprising me, letting me surprise you, smiling, laughing, holding my hand, winking at me, making up funny words, talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, giving gifts to strangers, riding the shopping cart down the aisle (wheeeeeeeeeeee!), spontaneously declaring a thumb war, making me breakfast, calling me on the phone to ask questions about stuff i know or just to tell me you were thinking about me, skipping, saying something would be better with nougat, writing my name on a balloon and giving it to me, going to church with me, introducing me to people, kissing me in random places, kicking your shoes off, pointing out my sexiness, stopping to feed squirrels, playing songs on the jukebox, eating hot dogs, cheering for our sports teams or Morgan's teams, listening to the radio with me, working out with me (preferably in awesome tight workout outfit), spelling words with the letters in your alpha-bits, wearing your hair in different cute ways, gently head-butting me in the chest, enjoying monster truck shows, telling me what's on your mind, crying when it's time to, letting me cheer you up, watching the sunset with me, giving me that look that says you can see deep into my soul and hear every bit of the light and the darkness and the fear and the insanity and the spirit and you still want to be with me as much as ever.

So, yeah, it's not too difficult. There's so many ways, and so little time. Get busy.

can i steal this? lol
my man better do these things for me

 

[Jeffster]

can i steal this? lol
my man better do these things for me

Like a man who twirls his hair and wears cheerleader outfits, eh?

Hey, whatever flies your plane, babe.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Like a man who twirls his hair and wears cheerleader outfits, eh?

Hey, whatever flies your plane, babe.

oh yes, you nailed it

lol i just really like the vibe that type of person gives off. They sound fun and exciting to me
i'll take 1 please with a side of fries