[Traditional Enneagram] holy shiz i really am a 9 :/

[Avocado]

Your life has changed significantly over the last year and you're in the grip. And I'm interested in hearing more about it including what type of support/therapy/support systems you have in place. You can write whatever you wish to write in the seven thread...there's no off-topic there. Or mention me where you wish and I will look for it sprout.

Ok, thank you.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

i think i might be 9w8

this is so crazy. it really is messing with me!! Haha

the best type. 9w8 seems like a conflicted type, in theory.

Do you tend to bottle anger up until it reaches a boiling point or does it show immediately?

I'm curious how a 9w8 ENFP acts vs a 9w8 ISTP or 9w8 other MBTI type.

 

[Evee]

dun think so, lady

Nice try, lady

 

[Kasper]

i feel like i need to apologize for evertime i schooled someone on what type 7's were about.

I'm sorry.

Samsies

Ne + So 9 = Pretty dang upbeat and bouncy on the surface, esp if excited. Social 9s can easily mistype as 7s (in other words consider your instinct stacking as well).

That said, my least favourite writers based on the 9 stuff are Riso and Hudson. Palmer and Maitri give a better take on 9 imo.

I created my "Whoa... what if I'm 9 not 7 =O" thread a few years ago and based on the 'upbeat' image I had, maybe the hyperness people saw the strong reaction was that I was a 7, but once seen it cannot be unseen. It's a very different kind of avoidance, 9s slow down, tread water as moving against something feels like it can create conflict, we are low energy (even if we are active), yet moving with something we do not want is unacceptable so we get stubborn and stop, kinda like a donkey . 7s on the other hand speed up with distractions, they get active, they are high energy (even if lazy).

Other distinctions to consider are Id v Ego. All the talk about ENTPs being prone to narcissism always shat me because I am so not egotistical, I see now that it comes from ENTPs typically being Id types. 9s tend to be humble and unassuming without drawing attention to it, if you can see everyone else's view as valid in its own right, and are unsure what your stance is so dismiss your own in favour of those who seem to care more, it's tough to put up a front and tell people you're all that. We may not put others first, but we can often put ourselves second.

Anxiety issues v anger issues, of course 9s can struggle to see their anger so that one takes time and observation. I'm a head type only in the way that I am always in my head, I don't do anxiety though, I can shut my thoughts off and just be in the moment.

One thing that can confuse me about 9s is that sometimes they come across as much angrier than I'd expect. Like an 8 or cf 6. Makes me wonder if there's some sort of phobic/counterphobic split with type 9.

There is always anger there, for me, I just don't show it, it is the most consistent emotion I experience, the cause of anger for 9s is generally feeling overlooked or easily dismissed/discounted which is something we create ourselves unless aware so it is tough to work past. Getting in touch with that anger is the hardest thing for a 9 though as we don't recognise it, our avoidance pushes our attention away from discomfort, before I realised I was a 9 I would have told you I was never angry.

I wouldn't say phobic/counterphobic, it's more a matter of w8 active anger v w1 critical anger. The counter-9 type is typically viewed as the So dom.

 

[Mal12345]

Huh, (this is off topic but) I'd love to hear more about that.

For example, I am analytical and critical, a typical 5. From a 4 I expect to see uniqueness and authenticity. Show me your uniqueness and authenticity.

 

[wolfy]

Just something on nines in general...

Conflict avoidance always comes up in talk about nines. I don't feel it is conflict with others as much as conflict within ones self. Conflict with others can stir that, but not always. Relationship conflict will often stir that because it is integral part of the self. But not necessarily so.

You can be calm in a storm.

the best type. 9w8 ...

For real!!

 

[small.wonder]

[MENTION=13589]Mal12345[/MENTION] So as not to derail this thread, I'll PM you.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Just something on nines in general...

Conflict avoidance always comes up in talk about nines. I don't feel it is conflict with others as much as conflict within ones self. Conflict with others can stir that, but not always. Relationship conflict will often stir that because it is integral part of the self. But not necessarily so.

You can be calm in a storm.

I think you just perfectly summed up 9w8 in the most concise way possible.

 

[Lady_X]

Samsies

Ne + So 9 = Pretty dang upbeat and bouncy on the surface, esp if excited. Social 9s can easily mistype as 7s (in other words consider your instinct stacking as well).

That said, my least favourite writers based on the 9 stuff are Riso and Hudson. Palmer and Maitri give a better take on 9 imo.

I created my "Whoa... what if I'm 9 not 7 =O" thread a few years ago and based on the 'upbeat' image I had, maybe the hyperness people saw the strong reaction was that I was a 7, but once seen it cannot be unseen. It's a very different kind of avoidance, 9s slow down, tread water as moving against something feels like it can create conflict, we are low energy (even if we are active), yet moving with something we do not want is unacceptable so we get stubborn and stop, kinda like a donkey . 7s on the other hand speed up with distractions, they get active, they are high energy (even if lazy).

Other distinctions to consider are Id v Ego. All the talk about ENTPs being prone to narcissism always shat me because I am so not egotistical, I see now that it comes from ENTPs typically being Id types. 9s tend to be humble and unassuming without drawing attention to it, if you can see everyone else's view as valid in its own right, and are unsure what your stance is so dismiss your own in favour of those who seem to care more, it's tough to put up a front and tell people you're all that. We may not put others first, but we can often put ourselves second.

Anxiety issues v anger issues, of course 9s can struggle to see their anger so that one takes time and observation. I'm a head type only in the way that I am always in my head, I don't do anxiety though, I can shut my thoughts off and just be in the moment.




There is always anger there, for me, I just don't show it, it is the most consistent emotion I experience, the cause of anger for 9s is generally feeling overlooked or easily dismissed/discounted which is something we create ourselves unless aware so it is tough to work past. Getting in touch with that anger is the hardest thing for a 9 though as we don't recognise it, our avoidance pushes our attention away from discomfort, before I realised I was a 9 I would have told you I was never angry.

I wouldn't say phobic/counterphobic, it's more a matter of w8 active anger v w1 critical anger. The counter-9 type is typically viewed as the So dom.

weird...i totally don't feel angry at all. i think it usually registers as mildly annoyed.

i don't think i'm social first tho....i'll look into how it plays out in 9's tho...but still think not...i'd still guess maybe sx/so if it's not still sx/sp...i feel very sx...and feel passionate and intense...and if 9 isn't that it would have to be the sxness.

but i thought i was distracting when i was stressed but really i do think it's more of a standing still daydreaming...or escaping into my own world of ideas.

 

[Lady_X]

Nice try, lady

??? whya say that man?

 

[Starry]

standing still daydreaming...or escaping into my own world of ideas.

^^basically the definition of the 7 sx

 

[Lady_X]

^^basically the definition of the 7 sx

but starry what if were wrong? what if we just always had it wrong? haha i love you...is my identity crisis giving you an identity crisis? haha

 

[Starry]

but starry what if were wrong? what if we just always had it wrong? haha i love you...is my identity crisis giving you an identity crisis? haha

Yes!!! haha (it's funny you know that.)
Please hurry up and decide on our type haha oh I love you Lady X

 

[PeaceBaby]

^^basically the definition of the 7 sx

Not that I wouldn't welcome you to the 9-camp. But anger has to really paralyze you interiorly, be the hardest thing to express externally.

 

[Lady_X]

Yes!!! haha (it's funny you know that.)
Please hurry up and decide on our type ha oh I love you Lady X

no really...my thoughts forever were like....do i even have a 9 fix??? because i am not someone without a clear identity. i know who the hell i am!! like deep passionate knowing...right? and...i'm no doormat...i confront issues! i don't care so much about keeping the peace that i'll not speak up!

but...reading that that i read the other night...i was like holy freakin hell...i do just go numb...i do become immobilized...i do become one with things...the environment...music...the ambiance of an experience...i do most often feel serene...i do let everyone be exactly who they are...i can put up with peoples difficult personality quirks. i will...and so often do put everyone first...why do i do this?? idk... it feels like because i just don't care...or...it's fine...i'm fine..

disintegrating to 6 makes sense ...even integrating to 3 makes sense..

i do not seek out activity and experience after experience...i do not feel the least bit materialistic...i do not feel the least bit selfish or egotistical...i don't feel as tho i'm one who talks all the time about all the cool things i'm doing and am a shit listener...i actually do not talk much at all. i don't like to. i stumble over my words....and get bored of hearing myself talk...i try to condense my words so i don't have to bend peoples ear too long. i hate being in the spotlight conversationally...hate for people to ask me lots of questions...i very often want to be left alone. i like asking people about themselves...i like engaging with others...but it doesn't need to be mutual in terms of attention...i prefer it not to be...i don't like being sought out....i resent it sort of...after too much.

just...there's a lot...help me hash it out?

 

[Lady_X]

Not that I wouldn't welcome you to the 9-camp. But anger has to really paralyze you interiorly, be the hardest thing to express externally.

i think i say bs to this. i don't know yet but i'm going to go with bs for now haha i don't feel i have any issue with anger.

 

[Starry]

no really...my thoughts forever were like....do i even have a 9 fix??? because i am not someone without a clear identity. i know who the hell i am!! like deep passionate knowing...right? and...i'm no doormat...i confront issues! i don't care so much about keeping the peace that i'll not speak up!

but...reading that that i read the other night...i was like holy freakin hell...i do just go numb...i do become immobilized...i do become one with things...the environment...music...the ambiance of an experience...i do most often feel serene...i do let everyone be exactly who they are...i can put up with peoples difficult personality quirks. i will...and so often do put everyone first...why do i do this?? idk... it feels like because i just don't care...or...it's fine...i'm fine..

disintegrating to 6 makes sense ...even integrating to 3 makes sense..

i do not seek out activity and experience after experience...i do not feel the least bit materialistic...i do not feel the least bit selfish or egotistical...i don't feel as tho i'm one who talks all the time about all the cool things i'm doing and am a shit listener...i actually do not talk much at all. i don't like to. i stumble over my words....and get bored of hearing myself talk...i try to condense my words so i don't have to bend peoples ear too long. i hate being in the spotlight conversationally...hate for people to ask me lots of questions...i very often want to be left alone. i like asking people about themselves...i like engaging with others...but it doesn't need to be mutual in terms of attention...i prefer it not to be...i don't like being sought out....i resent it sort of...after too much.

just...there's a lot...help me hash it out?

Okay I just wanted to say that I'm here I'm just sitting with this for a minute...

 

[Lady_X]

like...i noticed the other day that the boyfriend gets bored more often than i do...i'm like oh...right. we should do something...like it hadn't occurred to me that we maybe should.

like i'm just floating around so very occupied....i didn't realize we weren't doing something.

i thought i was just very ne and so very un se and that's why i was so out of touch with my physical body. like honestly starry i often feel about 20% present in the here...the now and just my physical space in general...

also..thought i was just so 7 in my head but sounds like the truth of the experience is more 9 ish

 

[BlackCat]

so i read 9...and really all was able to see how it was a closer fit....i relate to aspects of both but if i am a 7 i'd be like on health level one and have always been pretty healthy...but when reading 9 i could see that i'm often very healthy but could also relate to the lower levels of health...or realize how things could end up that way if i weren't careful. which to me makes more sense that one should be able to relate to all of it....

and....i do feel very happy most times...but it is more sort of serene then elated.
i do feel like i merge with people...a lot.. i felt that was just sxness..
i don't get bored with people any more than i get bored with myself...because people become parts of me...

i don't feel like i bend to people but maybe i do?? if i really look at it...maybe i really fucking do??

I actually relate to this. Maybe you have an 8 wing? I don't consider myself a doormat. But it's like I have a really hard time not considering others or understanding the consequences. It's just kinda natural for me. I have no problems with consoling people and it makes me happy to know that others benefit from my presence.

A healthy 9 will often go more toward 3, and unlock some sudden energy I think. I have kinda done this, and it's like when I'm not healthy I feel really sluggish. But it's like when I am healthy I am full of energy and very serene. I rarely get elated. The whole "people become part of you" thing sounds really 9 sx. I do that too. It's like I pick up on things that I like and make them apart of myself. You have never seemed very 7 nor soc last to me. Now we know why!

Also I think that type 9 sp last may be less obvious, since 9 seems kinda sp in and of itself. Might have to do some reading to understand that, but I think it would manifest about being chill about your belongings and maybe not stressing money or resources that much.

 

[Lady_X]

I actually relate to this. Maybe you have an 8 wing? I don't consider myself a doormat. But it's like I have a really hard time not considering others or understanding the consequences. It's just kinda natural for me. I have no problems with consoling people and it makes me happy to know that others benefit from my presence.

A healthy 9 will often go more toward 3, and unlock some sudden energy I think. I have kinda done this, and it's like when I'm not healthy I feel really sluggish. But it's like when I am healthy I am full of energy and very serene. I rarely get elated. The whole "people become part of you" thing sounds really 9 sx. I do that too. It's like I pick up on things that I like and make them apart of myself. You have never seemed very 7 nor soc last to me. Now we know why!

Also I think that type 9 sp last may be less obvious, since 9 seems kinda sp in and of itself. Might have to do some reading to understand that, but I think it would manifest about being chill about your belongings and maybe not stressing money or resources that much.

yes...i stress less about money or any sort of major life component than anyone else i know. and reading that 9's sort of have this magical type thinking like it will all just work out...that just resonates...i do just do what i can and not stress much about the things that i can't fix yet.

not sure about instincts yet but are you saying you think i'm sx/so?