[INFJ] Hate an INFJ? Tell us why!

[Forever]

[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]: My mom's an INJ and likes children. So she says. Because she works with small children all the time. Childhood education is what degree she got, and her low tolerance for bull shows in how over the years she's slowly crept to the higher grades. What I'm saying is that she started out with the youngins, so it's not uncommon.

Also, this is called the hate an INFJ thread. I logged on just to say this. It's not "hate all INFJs" or "hate those people" thread. If people misconstrue it as a hate thread, that's their fault. Hate threads are easily banned on like every forum, and this is obviously a storytelling type of thing. Then, just maybe, it'd be witchhunting. But it's not right now.

Now let me go find the INTJ version of this so I don't have to explode into tears.

Just because a title says so doesn't mean people follow it jot and tittle to the word. A lot of these response generalize out of their few experiences.

Problem: people have not got enough concrete examples plus referencing back to theory on how INFJ's use of cognitive function is flawed in that situation or let alone make a sufficient generalization. If this thread is anyway to be productive they need to back it up.

If it's just some random person you hate and you try to correlate whatever you can in your head about whatever you think is an INFJ and say you hate all of them, you're really in no position to say and is more suitable to be a graveyard post. And you can simply remove the label and go to the rant thread!

People who are against me say this is for me and my benefit but without deep thought and critical thinking how can I change?

Typical rant: oh he can see all perspectives or at least claim to and say I should to.

Comment: regardless if his claim is faulty or not. There is nothing wrong with learning to see through another persons' eyes.

Typical rant: they think they're better than me

Comment: how is this specific to INFJ's? A lot of people think they're better than others. It's like human nature. Not type related.

Counter argument: idc about critical thinking I just want to cry about it on my vague and possibly untrue labeling. Have you heard of the rant thread? Take off the label and no one can deny you!

And this goes for all types SJ SP NT NF

If the person is not going to critically think and analyze and not change their mind or format about it. It's literally trolling. Because we have a feeling thread too that can accomplish our non-thinking areas in life.

- - - Updated - - -

[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]: My mom's an INJ and likes children. So she says. Because she works with small children all the time. Childhood education is what degree she got, and her low tolerance for bull shows in how over the years she's slowly crept to the higher grades. What I'm saying is that she started out with the youngins, so it's not uncommon.

Also, this is called the hate an INFJ thread. I logged on just to say this. It's not "hate all INFJs" or "hate those people" thread. If people misconstrue it as a hate thread, that's their fault. Hate threads are easily banned on like every forum, and this is obviously a storytelling type of thing. Then, just maybe, it'd be witchhunting. But it's not right now.

Now let me go find the INTJ version of this so I don't have to explode into tears.

Just because a title says so doesn't mean people follow it jot and tittle to the word. A lot of these response generalize out of their few experiences.

Problem: people have not got enough concrete examples plus referencing back to theory on how INFJ's use of cognitive function is flawed in that situation or let alone make a sufficient generalization. If this thread is anyway to be productive they need to back it up.

If it's just some random person you hate and you try to correlate whatever you can in your head about whatever you think is an INFJ and say you hate all of them, you're really in no position to say and is more suitable to be a graveyard post. And you can simply remove the label and go to the rant thread!

People who are against me say this is for me and my benefit but without deep thought and critical thinking how can I change?

Typical rant: oh he can see all perspectives or at least claim to and say I should to.

Comment: regardless if his claim is faulty or not. There is nothing wrong with learning to see through another persons' eyes.

Typical rant: they think they're better than me

Comment: how is this specific to INFJ's? A lot of people think they're better than others. It's like human nature. Not type related.

Counter argument: idc about critical thinking I just want to cry about it on my vague and possibly untrue labeling. Have you heard of the rant thread? Take off the label and no one can deny you!

And this goes for all types SJ SP NT NF

If the person is not going to critically think and analyze and not change their mind or format about it. It's literally trolling. Because we have a feeling thread too that can accomplish our non-thinking areas in life.

 

[VILLANELLE]

Ok..well the things that bug me the most are:

* passive-aggressive, especially in a snipy way. I actually use it myself when I get defensive with someone I feel uncomfortable with, but I very much try to avoid it as I find it to be the equivalent to cutting someone with a scalpel, just without the anaesthetics.

* The high-and-mighty thing. I get that that's Ni for ya, and I love Ni normally, but there's something about the NiFe combo that just irks me. It's that whole 'This is the way it is/should be and you're an idiot for not seeing it or unworthy for not living up to that standard'. I know INTJs are prone to the same thing especially when it comes to work standards, but somehow I can smile better at that (I'm allergic to guilttripping Fe, so that might be it)

* The martyr-thing. The 'Woe, me, I'm so tough for bearing this burden while nobody cares.' Not everyone is gifted in seeing that you need help. You have a mouth, you're not a child, ASK! Do NOT guilttrip.

* Judgemental. Someone who doesn't live up to your standards and has a different pov somehow has to prove their worth to you 10 times before you'll even consider them potentially interesting, or so it feels, at times.


Note: I'm aware that due to my own perspective and my limited sample pool of INFJs, this is bound to be somewhat subjective and biased. And it clearly mostly applies to the more..immature ones still. Hope this was what you were looking for

I'm passive aggressive and a bit of a martyr but I don't relate to a lot of the rest of the stuff... or maybe I don't see it. What do I know, I don't really know my type, anyways.

 

[skimpit]

Just because a title says so doesn't mean people follow it jot and tittle to the word. A lot of these response generalize out of their few experiences.

Problem: people have not got enough concrete examples plus referencing back to theory on how INFJ's use of cognitive function is flawed in that situation or let alone make a sufficient generalization. If this thread is anyway to be productive they need to back it up.

If it's just some random person you hate and you try to correlate whatever you can in your head about whatever you think is an INFJ and say you hate all of them, you're really in no position to say and is more suitable to be a graveyard post. And you can simply remove the label and go to the rant thread!

People who are against me say this is for me and my benefit but without deep thought and critical thinking how can I change?

Typical rant: oh he can see all perspectives or at least claim to and say I should to.

Comment: regardless if his claim is faulty or not. There is nothing wrong with learning to see through another persons' eyes.

Typical rant: they think they're better than me

Comment: how is this specific to INFJ's? A lot of people think they're better than others. It's like human nature. Not type related.

Counter argument: idc about critical thinking I just want to cry about it on my vague and possibly untrue labeling. Have you heard of the rant thread? Take off the label and no one can deny you!

And this goes for all types SJ SP NT NF

If the person is not going to critically think and analyze and not change their mind or format about it. It's literally trolling. Because we have a feeling thread too that can accomplish our non-thinking areas in life.

I get that. That's why I always try to speculate which type I'm talking about, because I could be wrong. The random-person-I-hate thing is definitely strong here, especially when most of the people they talk about seem to be just introverts with issues. That's not an INFJ, guys - do you read?

I'm just saying, if people read, they'd know what to write. I love to rant, but I know there's a time, place, and proper etiquette for ranting that should be saved for a dedicated thread or elsewhere.

That first comment about perspectives is just ironic. This is a thread about INFJs, who can see multiple perspectives, through multiple perspectives, and in them. Yet we don't try to be considerate or kind when we comment about them. Or even try to see through their perspective. What do they see about me that could be important? Why is my viewpoint valid? Why am I mad? Am I mad? Most people don't know lol

For a type that's so insightful, you guys sure aren't letting them have an ounce of credit, even when they're being nice about their observations. Pff

 

[Amargith]

That was a fascinating demonstration of tertiary Ti and witch Fi, right there.. I think that's the first time I've seen it used by the same person, let alone that intertwined. Definitely illuminating.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Oh my god.

Enough already. We get it.

It's funny - yes, other types get defensive in their own way in their hate threads, as well, as people vent there as well, and yes, they do attribute things to a type that may not be universal - I know Ive thought that more than once in an enfp thread and responded to it, so no, it's not exactly an INFJ hate thread only phenomenon, and yes, you guys got slammed the most recently, and had several threads at the same time going with an INFP/INFJ conflict blowing up on you, so I get that there is a certain sensitivity to this, but seriously?

This thread is 6, count em, 6 years old and got recently resurrected. *Every* type has threads like that, AND it was started by an INFJ asking for it- the hate title was tongue-in-cheek.

And let's not even get into the irony of pretty much giving a serious demonstration of just about *every* trait that's been mentioned in this thread

Add some INFJ's don't like feedback unless it's been stamped and approved in format, size and content to the fucking list. Tertiary Ti for the fucking win.


Can we close this fucking whine fest already? I think it would be in everybody's best interest, at this point.

Yeah, come on you guys. This isn't fair to Amargith. Who has to read these threads.

It would be different if she didn't have to. But she has to. So let's ease up.


eta: I just noticed the thread title was changed. Which seems kind of weird to me. Did someone actually ask for the thread title to be changed? That's kinda lame.

 

[Forever]

Yeah, come on you guys. This isn't fair to Amargith. Who has to read these threads.

It would be different if she didn't have to. But she has to. So let's ease up.


eta: I just noticed the thread title was changed. Which seems kind of weird to me. Did someone actually ask for the thread title to be changed? That's kinda lame.

I can't tell if you're being serious or not. Last time I check her name wasn't the blue of the moderators.

 

[Amargith]

Someone made the argument that the thread title was 'Hate an infj', and therefore people are sharing stories about an infj they hated.

Perhaps the mods felt that that point of contention between those posters and the ones that are posting here now was enough to change the title and indicate the new turn this thread has taken?

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Furthermore as [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] mentioned there are thread like that on most types. Especially enfps - as they are the worst

So I wouldn't say infjs are in any way singled out in that matter. It is true however that - in my experience - infjs are sensitive to criticism (not the only ones obviously). However that doesn't mean there's any witch hunt going on.

I don't agree with this. (Not the part about INFJs being sensitive to criticism, because that's absolutely true, but the other part.) I do think- in an objectively quantifiable way- INFJs have gotten the worst of all the NFs. Just like it seems INTJs get the worst bashing of the NTs, though I could be wrong. I mean, if anyone can point me in the direction of hundred page threads (plural) bashing any other NF type that I haven't seen, my opinion is open to change.

It's not like I want to make a big thing about this, but I am curious what moderators thing (since they have to pay attention when things get rocky). [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION], [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION], and anyone else who happens to see this (I don't care enough to look up spelling of usernames): does it seem like INFJs historically in this forum get bashed the most out of the NFs?

eta:

I can't tell if you're being serious or not. Last time I check her name wasn't the blue of the moderators.

I was being facetious. Not in an antagonistic way, but in a "we are a bunch of monkeys on a big rock flying through space, taking the internet too seriously" kind of way.

 

[Amargith]

I don't agree with this. (Not the part about INFJs being sensitive to criticism, because that's absolutely true, but the other part.) I do think- in an objectively quantifiable way- INFJs have gotten the worst of all the NFs. Just like it seems INTJs get the worst bashing of the NTs, though I could be wrong. I mean, if anyone can point me in the direction of hundred page threads (plural) bashing any other NF type that I haven't seen, my opinion is open to change.

It's not like I want to make a big thing about this, but I am curious what moderators thing (since they have to pay attention when things get rocky). [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION], [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION], and anyone else who happens to see this (I don't care enough to look up spelling of usernames): does it seem like INFJs historically in this forum get bashed the most out of the NFs?

Recently? Absolutely. But over the years, it was in fact INFJS that got 'pedestalled' the most. Especially in the beginning, as there was a lot of NTPs here that loved that type, back when. INFPs, in contrast, were the ones that got the most bitching, in the beginning due to Fi being considered the 'whiny and useless' function.

Interestingly,then it was ENFJs that got the worst of it, for a long time - maybe due to the fact that there weren't that many around to really defend the type, which made it easier to bitch in their absence? I was around for at least 2, maybe 3 'hate an ENFP' threads, where people didn't hold back either.

Historically, these threads are venting threads, really
I reread several of them, back in the day, on my own type, to sift through the nuggets I could use for self-improvement, but mostly it was a lot of people who just came there to make sense of things or share a story.

Similarly, INTJs have gotten the brunt of it recently, but ENTPs have gotten their share of hate as well...cant remember ENTJs and INTPs getting *as* much flak, though.

The recent shift on INFJs seems to be about 1-2 years old, though, and from what I recall, got started due to the whole INFP vs INFJ fight that's going on all over the internet, to 'weed out' false INFJs.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Recently? Absolutely. But over the years, it was in fact INFJS that got 'pedestalled' the most. Especially in the beginning, as there was a lot of NTPs here that loved that type, back when. INFPs, in contrast, were the ones that got the most bitching, in the beginning due to Fi being considered the 'whiny and useless' function.

Interestingly,then it was ENFJs that got the worst of it, for a long time - maybe due to the fact that there weren't that many around to really defend the type, which made it easier to bitch in their absence? I was around for at least 2, maybe 3 'hate an ENFP' threads, where people didn't hold back either.

Historically, these threads are venting threads, really
I reread several of them, back in the day, on my own type, to sift through the nuggets I could use for self-improvement, but mostly it was a lot of people who just came there to make sense of things or share a story.

Similarly, INTJs have gotten the brunt of it recently, but ENTPs have gotten their share of hate as well...cant remember ENTJs and INTPs getting *as* much flak, though.

The recent shift on INFJs seems to be about 1-2 years old, though, and from what I recall, got started due to the whole INFP vs INFJ fight that's going on all over the internet, to 'weed out' false INFJs.

I haven't even noticed anything recently. I'm actually talking about the past 5 years or so.

I joined in 2009. I don't recall any pedestal.

Weird.

[eta: Although, I mean, I should add I remember [MENTION=1456]Domino[/MENTION] making fun of that INFJ pedestal (in her usual absolutely hilarious way). So I believe you. I'm just saying that pedestal seems to have been mostly gone by the time I paid much attention to the place. Even at the time, when she made her hilarious comments about it, I remember wondering where these posts were that her jokes were based on.]

 

[Amargith]

I haven't even noticed anything recently. I'm actually talking about the past 5 years or so.

I joined in 2009. I don't recall any pedestal.

Weird.

I honestly do recall it. I joined in 2008. INFPs were considered fragile creatures, useless and too sensitive to discuss anything with. The rants that some members, those that even claimed to be experts or at least serious hobbyists of MBTI went on, were nothing short of scathing. And it wasn't contained to a simple thread or 2 - it was just...part of the culture.

INFJs, otoh, were honorary NTs and therefore very much approved of by the overwhelming NTP membership. It was a result of how TypologyCentral started.

Over the years, it's evened out, for sure, until recently it escalated on the INFJ front. Just like the SJ-hate used to be really common around here, and has evened out over the years, to now be actively included in the community.

 

[cascadeco]

I haven't even noticed anything recently. I'm actually talking about the past 5 years or so.

I joined in 2009. I don't recall any pedestal.

Weird.

There was more of a pedestal in 2007 and 2008, the very beginning. They were much more glorified. But I do remember a feisty enfj hate thread in I think 2008-2009, so yeah, enfj's were much more hated and infj got the free pass. I haven't paid attention to trends in recent years so haven't personally noticed the intj hate (I too recall more frequent entp threads, and a fair amount of bickering between intj's and intp's). But yeah in recent years I have noticed more antipathy towards infj's.

 

[EcK]

Recently? Absolutely. But over the years, it was in fact INFJS that got 'pedestalled' the most. Especially in the beginning, as there was a lot of NTPs here that loved that type, back when. INFPs, in contrast, were the ones that got the most bitching, in the beginning due to Fi being considered the 'whiny and useless' function.

Hey, for the record I never said Fi was useless

 

[Amargith]

Hey, for the record I never said Fi was useless

No, you enjoy bickering with Fi too much to consider it useless

 

[EcK]

No, you enjoy bickering with Fi too much to consider it useless

 

[1487610420]

I honestly do recall it. I joined in 2008. INFPs were considered fragile creatures, useless and too sensitive to discuss anything with. The rants that some members, those that even claimed to be experts or at least serious hobbyists of MBTI went on, were nothing short of scathing. And it wasn't contained to a simple thread or 2 - it was just...part of the culture.

INFJs, otoh, were honorary NTs and therefore very much approved mistakenly tolerated by the overwhelming NTP membership. It was a result of how TypologyCentral started.

Over the years, it's evened out, for sure, until recently it escalated on the INFJ front. Just like the SJ-hate used to be really common around here, and has evened out over the years, to now be actively included in the community.

fyp

 

[BrainySchmuck]

Detecting even the smallest changes in someone's mood, attitude, etc... that powerful ability of yours INFJs, don't use it on me. Feeling vulnerable whenever I'm around you guys is exhausting.

 

[Forever]

lol right now there is like virtually no hate for ENFJs, some dislike for ESFJ's. More dislike for INFJ's and probably a slight dislike for NTP's.

Other than that everyone else seems to be okay (except in the relationship section with NP's and some SJ's)

 

[highlander]

I don't agree with this. (Not the part about INFJs being sensitive to criticism, because that's absolutely true, but the other part.) I do think- in an objectively quantifiable way- INFJs have gotten the worst of all the NFs. Just like it seems INTJs get the worst bashing of the NTs, though I could be wrong. I mean, if anyone can point me in the direction of hundred page threads (plural) bashing any other NF type that I haven't seen, my opinion is open to change.

It's not like I want to make a big thing about this, but I am curious what moderators thing (since they have to pay attention when things get rocky). [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION], [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION], and anyone else who happens to see this (I don't care enough to look up spelling of usernames): does it seem like INFJs historically in this forum get bashed the most out of the NFs?

eta:

I was being facetious. Not in an antagonistic way, but in a "we are a bunch of monkeys on a big rock flying through space, taking the internet too seriously" kind of way.

There was a similar threat about INFPs. I moved it to the dumpster.

 

[PeaceBaby]

Two comments:

1) In all fairness, the reason that "hate INFJ" threads are so long and involved is because INFJs crowd on into them and dispute every word. It's INFJs that make those threads long. By contrast, "hate INFP" are short because INFPs don't give a crap and often agree with whatever complaints people make against them. INFPs are into the whiny martyr thing, so INFPs kind of like and agree with INFP put-downs. [I say that as an INFP myself.]

Conclusion: "Hate INFJ" threads would be a hell of a lot shorter if INFJs would just lighten up and shrug off the criticisms, instead of trying to "lawyer" everyone to death over every criticism made.

2) The very traits that sometimes *can* make INFJs a pain in the butt interpersonally often make them absolutely fabulous professionally. I had an INFJ lawyer in my hostile divorce from a narcissistic hoarder, and he was splendid. Cool and calm under fire, unruffled by anything, but always working for my advantage. I paid top dollar for him, but he was worth every penny. And I've had excellent INFJ bosses and subordinates.

Conclusion: INFJs can't please everyone; there are always going to be some people who are rubbed the wrong way by INFJs and their typical traits. But INFJs are still fabulous people in terms of the big picture. Furthermore, this assessment is reflected in the poll numbers at the top of the thread. So again, INFJs need to try and pry that big stick out of their ass occasionally and recognize that they've already got the world by the balls. They need to lighten up and understand that no personality type is able to universally please all other personality types, and arguing that everyone should be pleased with you isn't going to increase people's love for you in any case. [By the way, I voted "Awesome" in the poll.]

Indeed.

Several of these threads were made by INFJs themselves, and probably wouldn't have originated otherwise. Very much in the vein of this one, actually.

So like all good self-fulfilling prophecies, hearing negative experiences is what happens (imagine that) *eye roll*. Other types see threads like this as an opening for individual honesty when it's actually a trap, but you don't realize that until your leg is hooked and you try to escape but there's blood all over the place by the time you break free (if you do).

I see the core issue as INFPs don't take general comments personally, yet INFJs do. INFPs have an inner wiring that says individual experiences vary, and vary widely. INFP tendency however is to take personal comments and generalize. INFJs rarely do this.

Said another way -- INFPs can take personal criticsm and make it general (as in, "You criticised my report, therefore I'm a massive failure at being a human being") and INFJs the opposite (as in, "You criticised my population and therefore you see me as a failure on an individual level.)

Both tendencies are bollocks, but oh how each type loves to cling to them.

And yes, INFJs were exalted here for the first two-ish years of my membership. Could say or do no wrong. Like Lark loving on fidelia kind of worship. 'Cause people knew what side of the bread their butter was on. Sheesh. Why mess that up? No one wants an INFJ on their bad side. People aren't stupid. And INFJs never forget.

I mean, the last threads I participated in where INFP / INFJ conflicts were directly working through stuff was started over 4 YEARS AGO.

FOUR YEARS. Talk about not forgetting. http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...enfj-infj-/59948-infps-infjs-drives-nuts.html

And yes, I've been personally involved in other threads since then, but when I go back in time, the bulk were THREE years ago. Like for fucking ever ago -- such a long time to hold on to a persecution complex.

But again, the whole "tell us what you really think about us" threads are a giant INFJ trap, because they really don't want to know, and you know, if INFJs don't want to know, they really shouldn't ask.