[NT] Harmless banter vs seriously speaking your mind

[Simplexity]

Be afraid prepared. Be very afraid prepared... for cuddles

NTs and especially female NTs make me go everytime they open their mouth. I mean look at that, so warm and welcoming!

 

[nightning]

It's such a good question. I don't understand banter and some of the things NTs say to each other set my hair on end, so they do make me nervous, too. Even with ones I know well, I never feel like I know what's really going on.

Sometimes arguments (aka "banter") is fun. You can call it harmless one-up-manship. A way of assessing and confirming intellectual competence between fellow NTs. Mutual ego stroking. (oh yes I like that term )

NTs and especially female NTs make me go everytime they open their mouth. I mean look at that, so warm and welcoming!

And I suppose to give you a hug and a kiss now?

 

[Alpha Prime]

You see, what I'm looking for is (1) how do you guys 'hint' that you don't like the person and therefore would like to leave the conversation and not meet them again, and (2) how is it different from the banter you use to bond?

1: I'm gonna ignore them, in all ways. If I'm talking to you it either means I'm interested in talking to you, or nothing more interesting is going on around us, in which case I'ma leave you asap.
2: You'll just know. It depends on the context.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

I tell people, "If you're confused about whether I'm joking, that means I'm joking. If I mean it--trust me--you'll know."

Often they don't get it until they see me being serious. Then they long for the good ole days.

 

[Amargith]

yeah well, I've had the whole sarcasm at my expense-thing happen as well. You think they're just bantering and you join in and instead it turns out they don't and humiliate you in front of everyone. Makes me always check to be sure I'm not falling into a trap. Hence this thread

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

yeah well, I've had the whole sarcasm at my expense-thing happen as well. You think they're just bantering and you join in and instead it turns out they don't and humiliate you in front of everyone. Makes me always check to be sure I'm not falling into a trap. Hence this thread

I test people to find out what sort of banter they can handle. If they're sensitive, I'll pull it back a bit and treat them tenderly. If they can dish it back, I know I've spotted a keeper.

 

[Amargith]

I test people to find out what sort of banter they can handle. If they're sensitive, I'll pull it back a bit and treat them tenderly. If they can dish it back, I know I've spotted a keeper.

That's much appreciated Once I know you a bit better, I'll be able to take it a lot better and dish it out myself

 

[01011010]

NTs and especially female NTs make me go everytime they open their mouth. I mean look at that, so warm and welcoming!

Sometimes arguments (aka "banter") is fun. You can call it harmless one-up-manship. A way of assessing and confirming intellectual competence between fellow NTs. Mutual ego stroking. (oh yes I like that term )

Ah, yes. Banter ahoy.

 

[Tiltyred]

If the people doing the bantering are both really smart and really quick, and it doesn't descend too far below the belt, it can be entertaining, but as a spectator sport. Like watching boxing, maybe. Not something I'd want to participate in, but I do like to watch.

When I'm forced to engage, though, I often don't manage any better than "Fuck you" either. Against the right foil, that's funny, too, but when I say it I'm generally just exasperated rather than going for the laugh.

 

[Salomé]

yeah well, I've had the whole sarcasm at my expense-thing happen as well. You think they're just bantering and you join in and instead it turns out they don't and humiliate you in front of everyone.

Well now. That's just plain mean.

 

[Wild horses]

I think that banter can be used effectively to speak your mind and keep people's feelings safe... Good banter is based on humour and I think in general humour is such an effective tool all around; medical, spiritual, revealing... speaking your mind is great and releases tension and is called for but hurting someone perhaps is not... Just my thoughts as I randomly plough my way through a research paper locked in my room like Anne bleedin Frank