Gender

[Yama]

This annoys me for some reason.

Maybe because it focuses on self to a ridiculous degree.

That's because it relates to the self. Gender dysphoria is a SELF diagnosis. Therapists can help, but even try understand this.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

That's because it relates to the self. Gender dysphoria is a SELF diagnosis. Therapists can help, but even try understand this.

Suicidal ideation is a real thing too. But it doesn't mean we should go round creating names for each type of suicidal fantasy, and celebrating them.

 

[Yama]

Hunh. This is interesting, and I have never consciously thought about this before. To me they are extremely linked. I mean, I don't expect it to be the same in others, but I always assumed it is for the majority. Have you noticed any trends with this?

One way I have found is good to explain it is to think of it like this: you can be straight and cis, or gay and cis. You can also be straight and trans, or gay and trans. Not all trans people are straight before or after transition. However, some trans people find that their sexuality DOES change after HRT, and others do not. Me, I am asexual, and gray-aromantic. I currently have a crush on another dude, and have had crushes on girls in the past (this was before I identified as trans, but I would not be against having a crush on a girl now if I knew any I really liked that way).

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Suicidal ideation is a real thing too. But it doesn't mean we should go round creating names for each type of suicidal fantasy, and celebrating them.

I'm having a hard time seeing how this is related, if you could expand for me?

 

[á´…eparted]

Suicidal ideation is a real thing too. But it doesn't mean we should go round creating names for each type of suicidal fantasy, and celebrating them.

Look, we get it. You think anyone who doesn't follow binary gender rules is wrong and sick. Many have been down this road before with you, and ultimately it boils down to you having zero clue what your talking about, and peddling psychologically harmful advice.

If you don't have anything constructive to add, then you should save us all the time and energy and let us discuss this rationally without you derailing this with your wrong and unsubstantiated opinions once again.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Look, we get it. You think anyone who doesn't follow binary gender rules is wrong and sick. Many have been down this road before with you, and ultimately it boils down to you having zero clue what your talking about, and peddling psychologically harmful advice.

If you don't have anything constructive to add, then you should save us all the time and energy and let us discuss this rationally without you derailing this with your wrong and unsubstantiated opinions once again.

Au Contraire. You cannot see the forest for the trees with me. Possibly because you are sensitive, which I understand.

I LOVE gender issues. I pray to God I end up with a chick with a dick.

What I hate is the narcissism inherent in labels regarding sexuality and self. I don't think it's healthy, and takes one away from what is truly important, love of God and love of neighbor.

Understand your issues, YES! I think that is great. I am working on understanding mine. But don't be tempted into focusing on self so much with ambiguous sex labels. Knowing you are trans is one thing, labeling every nuance of it another. It's like using those eugender pronouns; t just doesn't work.

 

[Yama]

My label is a part of my identity and who I am. I will proudly call myself trans, and the more people/society try to quiet me down or tell me I'm wrong, the louder I will get. I don't think anything is wrong with wearing who I am proudly, only with the people trying to oppress others. I'm not accusing anyone here, just stating my opinion.

 

[á´…eparted]

One way I have found is good to explain it is to think of it like this: you can be straight and cis, or gay and cis. You can also be straight and trans, or gay and trans. Not all trans people are straight before or after transition. However, some trans people find that their sexuality DOES change after HRT, and others do not. Me, I am asexual, and gray-aromantic. I currently have a crush on another dude, and have had crushes on girls in the past (this was before I identified as trans, but I would not be against having a crush on a girl now if I knew any I really liked anyone that way).

I guess I wasn't clear. To me masculinity is seen as something sexual, as that is what I am attracted to. Same with feminity, but I don't respond to it. When it's a blend of both in fairly equal parts, my brain sort of gets confused and sees opposite running signals. Generally I mean that in physical traits, but also in a personality way. Gender presentation has some sort of sexual undertone or overtone to some degree as I look at it. Maybe it's because I look at the physical first. This is a lot harder to explain than I anticipated. Maybe another way to put it, is gender is linked to attraction to me.

 

[Yama]

I guess I wasn't clear. To me masculinity is seen as something sexual, as that is what I am attracted to. Same with feminity, but I don't respond to it. When it's a blend of both in fairly equal parts, my brain sort of gets confused and sees opposite running signals. Generally I mean that in physical traits, but also in a personality way. Gender presentation has some sort of sexual undertone or overtone to some degree as I look at it. Maybe it's because I look at the physical first. This is a lot harder to explain than I anticipated. Maybe another way to put it, is gender is linked to attraction to me.

Ohh I see. Well the reason we probably differ here then is because of my asexuality. Though, I would expect gender to be linked to sexuality in you somewhat--if you're a gay man, then masculinity is going to play a larger role in your life, sexually and otherwise. For me though, my attraction's kind of just a big question mark mixed with a shrug emoji, and exists somewhere separate from my gender identity. Though I don't expect it to be the same for all other trans people.

 

[anticlimatic]

As someone who acquired a sense of logic and intuitiveness prior to the SJW shit-show that millennials have been subjected to, I have a pretty simplistic approach to gender. There's two of them, and ideally they match your sex. Unless they don't. Which is fine.

You are what you are and it can't be helped, therefore there's no sense taking pride in it.
You do what you do because you choose to. That's where you should earn your pride.

 

[fetus]

Exactly why so many trans people just try to avoid going to the bathroom in public at all. Its a lose-lose situation.

I found an app on the app store called Refuge. It maps restrooms that are safe for non-binary people. Type in your location, and restroom locations will show up on the map. Even though I'm cis, I downloaded it to try it out for my non-binary friends. It's really helpful if you live near a major city. If you live in the middle of nowhere, it's going to be hard. But it's worth a shot!

 

[Yama]

My professor was talking to me about a study she read that found that the more evidence you show to someone to try and convince them that they are wrong, the more stubborn they become in not changing their point of view. With that, I'm gonna have a kickass time hanging out with my nonbinary friends over the summer.

 

[Mustafa]

[MENTION=6336]AphroditeGoneAwry[/MENTION] i wish i could get a chick with a dick too! And I'm a man! ... Actually I do doubt that God permits intersex.

H eck, i wanna become one myself but am afraid.

 

[Yama]

You are what you are and it can't be helped, therefore there's no sense taking pride in it.
You do what you do because you choose to. That's where you should earn your pride.

Oh, no. My gender identity's not a choice. If it was, I'd choose not to feel this way because it's a pain in the ass with all the discrimination I have to put up with.

And I will be prideful. I'm sick of people telling me how I can and can't feel. Other people don't get to validate my gender. Only I do. Once I finally accepted that and stopped putting up with other people's hate, I became much happier and much more comfortable with myself.

I have no more choice in being trans than a cis person has in being cis.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

[MENTION=6336]AphroditeGoneAwry[/MENTION] i wish i could get a chick with a dick too! And I'm a man! ... Actually I do doubt that God permits intersex.

My chick would be a bio male.

God does forbid homosexual liaisons (with males).

 

[anticlimatic]

Oh, no. My gender identity's not a choice. If it was, I'd choose not to feel this way because it's a pain in the ass with all the discrimination I have to put up with.

And I will be prideful. I'm sick of people telling me how I can and can't feel. Other people don't get to validate my gender. Only I do. Once I finally accepted that and stopped putting up with other people's hate, I became much happier and much more comfortable with myself.

I have no more choice in being trans than a cis person has in being cis.

What are you talking about.

File gender under "you are what you are" in my quote. By choices I meant behaviors, like doing good deeds. Taking pride in who you are is such a narcissistic waste of self-encouragement. "I sat on my ass today being ME, good job!" *pats self on back* "Maybe tomorrow I can be ME twice as much! Nyeee!"

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Oh, no. My gender identity's not a choice. If it was, I'd choose not to feel this way because it's a pain in the ass with all the discrimination I have to put up with.

And I will be prideful. I'm sick of people telling me how I can and can't feel. Other people don't get to validate my gender. Only I do. Once I finally accepted that and stopped putting up with other people's hate, I became much happier and much more comfortable with myself.

I have no more choice in being trans than a cis person has in being cis.

I agree wholeheartedly feelings and emotions are not chosen, necessarily (though they can be in some situations).

It's the acting out that is chosen.

You guys think I am so terrible and a LBGTXYZ Hater, and it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm just trying to guide you in understanding the difference between identity and choice. Identity is feeling-emotion. Choice is the acting out of the feeling-emotion.

 

[Yama]

What are you talking about.

File gender under "you are what you are" in my quote. By choices I meant behaviors, like doing good deeds. Taking pride in who you are is such a narcissistic waste of self-encouragement. "I sat on my ass today being ME, good job!" *pats self on back*

Which is harder to do when people are telling you that you can't be yourself.

 

[Yama]

I agree wholeheartedly feelings and emotions are not chosen, necessarily (though they can be in some situations).

It's the acting out that is chosen.

You guys think I am so terrible and a LBGTXYZ Hater, and it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm just trying to guide you in understanding the difference between identity and choice. Identity is feeling emotion. Choice is the acting out of the feeling emotion.

I haven't accused you of being a hater or anything (intentionally), I'm sorry if you interpreted it that way.

Yes, my feeling trans isn't a choice. Choosing to feel comfortable and take pride in that and take action to start HRT, however, is a choice. A good choice, I think, that will make me so much happier and my life feel more worthwhile.

 

[anticlimatic]

Which is harder to do when people are telling you that you can't be yourself.

Then git gud at giving 0 fucks and proceed to life's next challenge before you waste any more of your time.

 

[Yama]

Then git gud at giving 0 fucks and proceed to life's next challenge before you waste any more of your time.

Yep, that's the plan! So far I would say I definitely recommend it.