forum self v real life

[Little_Sticks]

You know, the purpose of this thread wasn't to point how how each of us was different vs. the same. Anyway, when in Rome.

It still serves the same purpose. Why do you even care?

 

[á´…eparted]

It still serves the same purpose. Why do you even care?

It bothers me when people default to thinking something is about them, when it isn't, or isn't supposed to be. It seems very self-centered, and it often makes me think of narcissism. In the context of this thread it just made my eyes roll, but overall isn't harmful. The thread direction effectively changed so I gave up.

 

[EJCC]

There is only one major difference between my forum self and my RL self, and that is that I am actually vulnerable and open about my emotions on the forum, on a regular basis. IRL if I opened up to you I'd probably only say a sentence or two about it, and try to cushion it with a joke.

That's pretty much it though. I make a point of being stream-of-consciousness when I write posts here, and only minimally proofreading, so my posts will be a better representation of how I talk. Most of the time, when I use emoticons, I use them to show where I would react similarly RL. (I was blessed (or cursed) by genetics to have a VERY expressive face.)

I agree with [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION]'s assessment. Less harshc, equally aggressive. And IRL you can see more of why [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION] and I joke about being twins -- she's actually as animated and jokey (and dry and sarcastic) as I am. She's just a lot more restrained on the forum.

 

[cascadeco]

It bothers me when people default to thinking something is about them, when it isn't, or isn't supposed to be. It seems very self-centered, and it often makes me think of narcissism. In the context of this thread it just made my eyes roll, but overall isn't harmful. The thread direction effectively changed so I gave up.

I think I see your point, though I'd say everyone answering in context of themselves answers just as well the question in the OP.

Re OP:

How does the relative anonymity of an internet forum affect how people present themselves on here v in their every day lives?

My answer would have been something along the lines of, 'it depends on the person'. Everyone feels 'safe' to a degree, though the safeness is I think a bit of an illusion. So, people will then shift based on what needs irl they have that they don't feel as able to enact irl. I mean, everyone's on a forum for a reason, and are going to get something psychologically out of being on a forum - interacting HERE vs irl. For some, it'll be more bullying/trolling, for others it'll end up being super raw and vulnerable/open about their personal lives, and so on. The anonymity factor will bring out different things in different people.

 

[prplchknz]

You know, the purpose of this thread wasn't to point how how each of us was different vs. the same. Anyway, when in Rome.

It's funny to hear so many people say they talk less and share their opinion in person less. I share mine more in person. My friends family and coworkers joke that there "isn't anything that Hard doesn't have an opinion on, and he never comes up for air!". I'd spend too much time on the forums if I said everything I wanted to, and write a ton more.

I'm also a lot less harsh in person, but no less aggressive. Other than that I am basically the same. [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] and [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION] confirmed. They can speak for themselves but they're largely the same too, though I'd say Showbread is more chatty in person than on here.

then what was the purpose? sense you have to control everything.

 

[Eilonwy]

You know, the purpose of this thread wasn't to point how how each of us was different vs. the same. Anyway, when in Rome.

You're not the OP, how do you know what the purpose of this thread is supposed to be?

 

[EJCC]

You're not the OP, how do you know what the purpose of this thread is supposed to be?

In fairness, OP had a very specific and clearly worded question in bold.

My answer, like [MENTION=1206]cascadeco[/MENTION]'s, would also be that it depends on the person. And I suspect that that's why everyone started answering for themselves. Though if I had to generalize, I'd suspect that there are two general trends in behavioral change on the Internet:

1) Emphasizing and showing off your strongest traits and minimizing your weakest ones

2) Doing things that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in real life

 

[prplchknz]

In fairness, OP had a very specific and clearly worded question in bold.

My answer, like [MENTION=1206]cascadeco[/MENTION]'s, would also be that it depends on the person. And I suspect that that's why everyone started answering for themselves. Though if I had to generalize, I'd suspect that there are two general trends in behavioral change on the Internet:

1) Emphasizing and showing off your strongest traits and minimizing your weakest ones

2) Doing things that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in real life

no for 1

yes for 2

but i think thats because i'm trying to fool people that i'm fine irl and on here you can't do anything well you can but its harder and i doubt anyone would ever so i feel more comfortable.
it bugs me because he tries to control every damn aspect of the forum its like just stop please.


but i guess 1 is true for most people, but the thing is it doesn't matter how great you appear online if you suck irl.

now if you're pretty cool irl and great online that's wonderful.

i'm not saying anyone who is awesome, sucks irl on here, please don't think that. you might but i wouldn't know and that's between you and your conscious.

 

[Poki]

Because the forum is not crazy busy as most media sites where there are a ton of comments in a short time.

Because in general people here tend to be more intelligent then the masses.

Because I don't have to actually spend a single session of focused time at once.

Because people can actually get thoughts together before they post for those that need time to process.

Because it's a personality forum so it is about differing views and differing views is more widely accepted.

Because this place is made to be more open in regard to who and why.

Because I don't actually have to deal with any of these people in real life. Well a few I wouldn't mind at all, but like I said before I am picky with who I hang around with.

 

[Cellmold]

Because people can actually get thoughts together before they post for those that need time to process.

You often have to remember this one, especially with regards to a post that someone produced and you realise that..wow and they did actually think about this before hitting reply, what a shame. I don't think before hitting reply, because if I did I would be a liar.

Just make a face, squint, and give the impression of thought. Ignoring that the real reason is the build-up of gas you've been holding on the train for 3 hours while you gaze at your 4g phone. Don't forget to tell everyone you've been reading Nietzsche too or some such person.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I've read each person's way of living RL and Internet life and I've founded all very interesting.

As I'm concerned I feel very true to myself in here as much as in real life.

People sometimes complain of my frankness in Real Life. In here they don't seem to

I feel I can/or even have to share my freedom of expression for the best in real life as well as here. In real life I am a very hard to please person, looking for truths beyond apparences,

enjoying listening and observing people, how they behave, think.
I am probably more focused on the external world.

In this forum or in my general internet life I'd say I try to be more focused on my inner truth because I'm not here to look for excitement, fun, performing or whatever I could do outside.

I'm looking to share with people that are living at any corner of that earth. Posting my comments,

reading differences is a great satisfaction and real joy to me.


Life offers us great opportunities for opening our mind and letting ourselves go, be more vulnerable.

I think as an extrovert internet does not make me grumpy or more lonely. I'm a social geek !

To me it is a tremendous way to share some truths found here and there, and therefore all
those habits we take, uncounsciouly push us to be more familiar with that vulnerable part or ourselves.

Last point, I think I'm far more impulsive/aggressive in my RL, as writting allows us more
deep thoughts and less unkind remarks. It is possible that one seems more confident behind one's screen and less awkward that he/she really is

 

[Eilonwy]

In fairness, OP had a very specific and clearly worded question in bold.

Point taken.

 

[miss fortune]

You're not the OP, how do you know what the purpose of this thread is supposed to be?

In fairness, OP had a very specific and clearly worded question in bold.

and in even more fairness, the OP didn't end up answering her own question in her reply

 

[Coriolis]

and in even more fairness, the OP didn't end up answering her own question in her reply

More to the point, threads are not generally the property of the OP, and often take on a life of their own once other members start posting. As long as the posts are reasonably related to the original topic they are not considered derails, even if they take the thread in directions that the OP did not anticipate. Often this is a good thing.

 

[miss fortune]

^ sometimes the detour is more fun than the planned route

 

[prplchknz]

^ sometimes the detour is more fun than the planned route

yup just read our wall convos *pets the human*

 

[Coriolis]

^ sometimes the detour is more fun than the planned route

I suspected you might agree.

 

[Nijntje]

The forum gives me the appearance of being more open and 'outgoing' than i would normally be in a face to face interaction, however, what isn't taken into consideration is how long i've been lurking and spying on you fucks to get an idea of how i should behave.

 

[Forever_Jung]

I don't know that I have a forum persona, except perhaps for bland niceness, and a light tone. I have quite a large persona to help me survive the social world IRL though.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I come off as more extroverted and sociable than I actually am. I think I give off INFP vibes to some people that aren't really accurate.