[Fi] Fi, Why Are You So Dependent On Others?

[entropie]

Dependence is not always type related either.

What's there else beside type?

 

[Mal12345]

OP seems like it's more about type 6 than anything else

I wasn't thinking about it, although Riso correlates type 6 with Fi (a somewhat loose correlation, I might add, since polls indicate that it doesn't pan out all of the time). There are type 6, type 4, and type 9 dependency traits which I would lump together as Fi, just as a rule of thumb. Then there are the social dependency traits of the 2 and 3 which I am not considering here.

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What's there else beside type?

Ohhh, let's say, being in the ICU ward?

 

[entropie]

Ohhh, let's say, being in the ICU ward?

UCU is more important

 

[Starry]

All day long I've been trying to repress the thought/image of a therapist suffocating their patient with a pillow...and yet no...the anger I feel is still completely accessible.


^Mal you are going to have to forgive me if I misunderstood what you were saying earlier but the above isn't exposure therapy/flooding... or at the very least it should not be compared to exposure therapy. This is merely because...for the most part... we do not want people to overcome their fear of the life-threatening. (that is abuse by a seemingly exasperated therapist if this actually occurred. if she was significantly traumatized by her son having made an attempt on her life...simulating an attempt on her life is not going to "gimmy her out of" her condition. Unless it's in the movies I guess)

Please make an anonymous complaint if this is something that you can do.

 

[Mal12345]

All day long I've been trying to repress the thought/image of a therapist suffocating their patient with a pillow...and yet no...the anger I feel is still completely accessible.


^Mal you are going to have to forgive me if I misunderstood what you were saying earlier but the above isn't exposure therapy/flooding... or at the very least it should not be compared to exposure therapy. This is merely because...for the most part... we do not want people to overcome their fear of the life-threatening. (that is abuse by a seemingly exasperated therapist if this actually occurred)

Please make an anonymous complaint if this is something that you can do.

You need to release this whole nightmare you're going through because it occurred a long time ago. I don't even know if the people involved are still alive.

 

[1487610420]

All day long I've been trying to repress the thought/image of a therapist suffocating their patient with a pillow...and yet no...the anger I feel is still completely accessible.


^Mal you are going to have to forgive me if I misunderstood what you were saying earlier but the above isn't exposure therapy/flooding... or at the very least it should not be compared to exposure therapy. This is merely because...for the most part... we do not want people to overcome their fear of the life-threatening. (that is abuse by a seemingly exasperated therapist if this actually occurred. if she was signficantly traumatized by her son having made an attempt her life...simulating an attempt an her life is not going to "gimmy her out of" her condition. Unless it's in the movies I guess)

Please make an anonymous complaint if this is something that you can do.

maybe the therapist thought the pillow needed mouth-to..er..pillow?

 

[Starry]

maybe the therapist thought the pillow needed mouth-to..er..pillow?

haha. This is possible. From suffocation...to watching tv comfortably...to learning how to french kiss er what? Pillows are very versatile.

 

[1487610420]

haha. This is possible. From suffocation...to watching tv comfortably...to learning how to french kiss er what? Pillows are very versatile.

to yoga, meditation, tooo...err very versatile indeed

 

[Starry]

to yoga, meditation, tooo...err very versatile indeed

To trying to trick a man into marrying you before alimony is no longer a thing...

 

[1487610420]

To trying to trick a man into marrying you before alimony is no longer a thing...

thx 4 heds up, gud2 no

 

[Starry]

thx 4 heds up, gud2 no

haha (I'm actually laughing to the point I really can't think...)

I heal...not just people but entire lives with the information I offer freely without asking for anything in return. That was my gift to you phobik.

 

[1487610420]

haha (I'm actually laughing to the point I really can't think...)

I heal...not just people but entire lives with the information I offer freely without asking for anything in return. That was my gift to you phobik.

and nothing is what you shall get (other than thx ofc)!

 

[Kas]

Speaking for myself, the only control I have over my life is repression. Other people can direct themselves to action, impact on their environment or foster good relationships through mirroring etc - I can't. For me it's a matter of censoring, filtering, editing, and releasing certain aspects of myself in ways that are vaguely beneficial or at least avoid undesirable situations.

Basically, repression (or the lack thereof) is the only tool in my toolbox. I just use it and blindly hope it leads to a desired outcome. I don't know how to else to go about things.

Well put. I can relate to that. Maybe not as only tool, but I do control my behavior a lot and filter my traits, so I get rid of traits I find my faults and get closer to who I want to be. The disadvantage is that you can’t get limit one thing without repressing others and I noticed that those traits I find my faults are often not even noticed by people I meet, but they see me as more distant than I see myself. So maybe it would be easier to just let it go… Though I’m not sure what storm that may cause.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

^Mal you are going to have to forgive me if I misunderstood what you were saying earlier but the above isn't exposure therapy/flooding... or at the very least it should not be compared to exposure therapy. This is merely because...for the most part... we do not want people to overcome their fear of the life-threatening. (that is abuse by a seemingly exasperated therapist if this actually occurred. if she was significantly traumatized by her son having made an attempt on her life...simulating an attempt on her life is not going to "gimmy her out of" her condition. Unless it's in the movies I guess)

I couldn't tell if he was referring to that specific story or if he was saying in general these threads he's been starting are 'exposure therapy'.

The thing about exposure therapy (in either case) is that it's only actually beneficial if you have the consent of the person being exposed to something uncomfortable/threatening. It has to be a choice they're making. There are precious few people who go through their day encountering everything that makes them uncomfortable or feels threatening as a positive opportunity for growth- who already make the choice (every day, all day long) to view obstacles that way, without a reminder or prompt to do so. When Person A makes that choice for Person B and exposes Person B to something uncomfortable or threatening- without making it clear the exposure is about intentional desensitization- that's far more likely to end in misunderstanding (or worse, making trauma worse) than it is to end in anyone's growth.

/nitpicking

 

[Mal12345]

I couldn't tell if he was referring to that specific story or if he was saying in general these threads he's been starting are 'exposure therapy'.

The thing about exposure therapy (in either case) is that it's only actually beneficial if you have the consent of the person being exposed to something uncomfortable/threatening. It has to be a choice they're making. There are precious few people who go through their day encountering everything that makes them uncomfortable or feels threatening as a positive opportunity for growth- who already make the choice (every day, all day long) to view obstacles that way, without a reminder or prompt to do so. When Person A makes that choice for Person B and exposes Person B to something uncomfortable or threatening- without making it clear the exposure is about intentional desensitization- that's far more likely to end in misunderstanding (or worse, making trauma worse) than it is to end in anyone's growth.

There's no exposure therapy at the basis of this. But if someone asks me, I'll tell them that exposure therapy helped with my introversion/triple withdrawn traits which consists of enneagram 5 (social anxiety), 9 (lack of assertiveness), and 4 (feeling exempt from the laws of nature).

 

[Jaguar]

Her therapist tried to instill some anger in her by pressing down on her face with a large pillow during a therapy session. But it didn't work, and the therapist had to let off so she wouldn't suffocate.

Therapist, my ass.

 

[Mal12345]

LOL to the reputation I received.

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Therapist, my ass.

Your ass is a therapist? I'm just telling you what she said.

 

[Starry]

I couldn't tell if he was referring to that specific story or if he was saying in general these threads he's been starting are 'exposure therapy'.

The thing about exposure therapy (in either case) is that it's only actually beneficial if you have the consent of the person being exposed to something uncomfortable/threatening. It has to be a choice they're making. There are precious few people who go through their day encountering everything that makes them uncomfortable or feels threatening as a positive opportunity for growth- who already make the choice (every day, all day long) to view obstacles that way, without a reminder or prompt to do so. When Person A makes that choice for Person B and exposes Person B to something uncomfortable or threatening- without making it clear the exposure is about intentional desensitization- that's far more likely to end in misunderstanding (or worse, making trauma worse) than it is to end in anyone's growth.

/nitpicking

^^The importance of consent...I'm so glad you got "nitpicky" as you called it and wrote that out. There's been a lot of "public service - the more you know" type messages concerning consensual sex and as I imagine I could have anticipated had I thought about it...have now seen this word and concept turned into a joke in many places to the point I almost wish they never used it in a campaign that will ultimately be viewed as... well...entirely feminist to the majority of people regardless of what its originators truly intended.

We needed to go bigger with the concept of consent in my opinion. I see little things each and every day...incidents where one person robs another of their consent and it's troubling. Throwing the kid that's afraid of swimming into the pool is super funny when it's done by other kids...or obviously a case of therapeutic exposure if done by an adult. What is often unclear to me, however, is which is the bigger insult? Having your consent taken from you...or what happens to you if you protest having your consent taken from you in these obviously *harmless* ways. *sigh* I'm always a little confused when I hear someone ask "What's wrong with people these days?"

"Consent" - it's not just for therapists and the rapists anymore.

 

[Avocado]

^^The importance of consent...I'm so glad you got "nitpicky" as you called it and wrote that out. There's been a lot of "public service - the more you know" type messages concerning consensual sex and as I imagine I could have anticipated had I thought about it...have now seen this word and concept turned into a joke in many places to the point I almost wish they never used it in a campaign that will ultimately be viewed as... well... feminist regardless of what its originators truly intended.

We needed to go bigger with the concept of consent in my opinion. I see little things each and every day...incidents where one person robs another of their consent and it's troubling. Throwing the kid that's afraid of swimming into the pool is super funny when it's done by other kids...or obviously a case of therapeutic exposure if done by an adult. What is often unclear to me, however, is which is the bigger insult? Having your consent taken from you...or what happens to you if you protest having your consent taken from you in these obviously *harmless* ways. *sigh* I'm always a little confused when I hear someone ask "What's wrong with people these days?"

"Consent" is not just for therapists and the rapists anymore.

I don't always wallow in the pointlessness of all existence, but when I do, I meditate.

 

[Allywally]

Over the years I've read a lot of complaints about terrible Si types and those horrible INTJs, but those criticisms are usually being leveled by Fi types who have their own evil tendencies.

You seem to be soooo independent, but you're not. You only think you are. At one point in your life you truly were independent, your values were set and stable; but then you lost confidence in them, in yourself. And now it's gone and you don't want it to be that way. So you lead a life of subtle pretense which fools nobody but yourself. You need people yet you despise them at the same time because they make your neediness more obvious. And it's not just people in general, you need specific people to be reliant upon you and never leave, just as you rely on them to help dispel your feelings of abandonment. You curse them and cast them out, and then either come crawling back or manipulate them into taking you back. These shameless manipulations are a cover up for a deeper lie: you are a charlatan, an intellectual and emotional fraud without a single original idea to call your own. You would like to believe they are original to you, but you plagiarized them from someone else, usually one person who serves as the secret source. At best, you would call that person an influence; but "cause" is a better word for it. In other words, you are effect of someone else's reality, and have no individual existence to call your own.

.........................holding a grudge?...............................................................................