Extroverts: How do you experience extroversion?

[Economica]

As for myself, everything I do of importance has to do with other people. I have no problem whatsoever being the center of attention of many people, and I never experience the "overstimulation" llnf mentioned. I allow myself to be completely immersed in whatever conversation or activity the group is doing and let the Ne run it's course so that I can "go with the flow". The company energizes me. The more positive interaction occurs, the more engaged, hyper, and outgoing I become. Before I am engaged in a conversation/activity with someone, I kind of stay dormant and remain inside my mind, keeping mild awareness on the rest of the world. However, the slightest positive acknowledgement of my existence or sign of willingness to reciprocate socially that I notice on the part of others sets me off immediately, and the fog of dullness that gathered outside of me since the last interaction lifts and I become recharged again.

This is my ENFP SO in a nutshell.

niffer, I am awed that you can write such a self-aware and descriptive post at age 13. You are destined for great things.

 

[xNFJiminy]

A part of me is always watching and commenting on my actions, as if I were reading a book, such as: "she picked up the apple, taking a bite, while staring blankly into space, thinking about what she'd be writing. A few seconds later, her fingers were eagerly stroking the keyboard while she contemplated how ridiculous an exercise it was to write this sort of thing down".

I used to do this all the time as a kid! Always wondered if anyone else did.

 

[SillySapienne]

please take a moment to explain how you experience extroversion.

As an extrovert, I have always been sensitive to external stimuli, thus rendering me somewhat hyper-aware of the given environment in which I happen to be placed. I'm very spongy, I tend to absorb what I'm surrounded in.


What stimulates you? How much stimulation do you need?

Things that are pleasantly unfamiliar. When I'm curious, I'm engaged, when I'm engaged, I'm happy.


What is your internal world like?

It's far too intricately complex for me to even be able to attempt to describe it. (Oh how I wish I was a better writer!)



How much alone time do you need and how often do you need it?

A lot, and on a daily basis. Every day, I need at the very least an hour, but I prefer something like four.


What comes along with being an extrovert that most people don't realize?

I have no idea.

 

[sui generis]

I've been thinking about this post for the last two weeks and just now realized that I never replied.

What stimulates you?
Almost anything! Especially topics that hold my interest, or issues I can wrestle with. I'm definitely stimulated by other people (conversations, ideas, meeting new friends) but I'm almost equally stimulated by ideas. (I'm about 60% extrovert, ha.) I love crowds and find the communal energy to be... well, energizing.

How much stimulation do you need?
Quite a bit. I rarely feel overstimulated-- that generally happens when I'm emotionally overwhelmed. More stimulation generally means more energy! If stimulation doesn't present itself, I seek it out and explore my environment.

What is your internal world like?
There's about five things going on at once, generally! I think a lot about my interactions with other people, what things went well, what things could have gone better. I notice details and I overanalyze problems subconsciously in the background. I am serious and silly and very interested in the real world that surrounds me-- I have pretty much no use for fantasy.

How much alone time do you need and how often do you need it?
Several hours, every day. If I don't get it, the consequences aren't pretty. But I think I handle alone time differently than introverts do. I'm not usually doing Deep Thinking when I'm alone; I often use my alone time as a reprieve from thinking. I do most of my deep thinking out loud to trusted friends, and I think a lot about issues through interactions with other people (this is hard to explain).

Too much alone time leaves me climbing the walls, and I can't stay inside the house for more than about 24 hours straight, even if I've got phone and internet. I need to go out and do something!

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only extrovert who needs solitude! I've always felt so anomalous on that account.


What comes along with being an extrovert that most people don't realize?
The state of being "on" comes naturally to me, but I definitely require my alone time. Also, I'm deeper than my extroversion gives me credit for. I AM a mile wide and an inch deep when it comes to interests, but my internal world is more complicated than that.

Extroversion, for me, is expressed in wanting to go out and meet people and do things, but it's more expressed in my inability to make progress with ideas without talking through them aloud. If I have a problem, or something's confusing me, I need to talk it out in order to solve it.

Also, these:

My mind is constantly working. It never stops. I'm always thinking about something. And I crave external stimulation to make me able to think about new things.

However, when I spend much time alone my thinking gets very intuitive and unclear and I need to extravert in one way or another to organize my thoughts (such as by talking or writing).

[E]ssentially you take more risks in relationships with an introvert because you're the one initiating, you're the one self-revealing, etc. Talking exposes you to many more dangers than keeping silent.

YES. I feel like I'm saying vulnerable or difficult things more often than my introverted friends are. And it's uncomfortable sometimes, but it feels like what I have to do.

Sometimes I like to be in really crowded places and feel the energy of the people washing over me.[...]Crowded places don't bother me, they make me feel like I'm in an envelope. My friends and I were talking about how dirty the streets were, but even the dirt was appealing.

The form the stimulation takes doesn't really matter to me, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I just go over to my closest (distance-wise) friends place and we just watch TV and talk and that's satisfactory. Sometimes I go to a dinner and movies with my friends and that's enough. Sometimes I call people up and chat for a couple of hours. Sometimes we hang out around the monuments till the sun comes up. Sometimes I book my enter week. Some weeks I don't do anything.

This summer, I've been by myself a lot. I have the place to myself and I'm LOVIN it! [...] I just drive, I don't care how much the gas costs and I turn up my music really loud and just drive. I usually go and drive someplace I've never gone. Sometimes I'll ride the subway back and forth until I'm ready to go home.

I do that too! I drive to nowhere or take transit to nowhere. I find living in the city to be really energizing.

I absorb all the good energy that people are having and I love it. I still need frequent trips to the bathroom though to collect myself or even a moment outside to catch a break from it all and when I get home I am ellated and drained all at the same time. I always look for the next time when I can do it again yet I am never in a hurry for it to happen.

Maybe the "introverted extrovert" concept is just an ENFJ thing or something, but I like to keep the balance of social time vs. alone time in proportion. That's mainly because I'm usually having to entertain people and be the talker -- which I normally do gladly anyway -- and so eventually I get burned out. Contrary to popular belief, extroverts don't have a limitless supply of outward energy.

 

[EsoteriEccentri]

This is fascinating, I've always found extroversion interesting because... well I'm not an extrovert. xD The unknown is always interesting.
Watching my ENFP mum, she has to have a certain amount of time to reflect, introspect, and gather up her thoughts. But at the same time she does like meeting people and going to social things. She has to have people around her and people to talk to each day. She's probably a more introverted extrovert but still definitely an extrovert because it stimulates her to be around others and talk to people, and helps her de-stress (presuming they're people she wants to talk to ^^)

 

[sui generis]

This is fascinating, I've always found extroversion interesting because... well I'm not an extrovert. xD The unknown is always interesting.

I'm the same way. I'm fascinated by introverts.

 

[Domino]

What stimulates you?

Anything I have to reach for or suss out. Anything that makes me take another look or baldly stare at it. Things with layers I have to peel away slowly.

I don't like anything that climbs aggressively up in my face (why I have to leave the room when the tv is on sometimes... why loud noises/sirens jangle me... why Gen Y sob-rock bores me... etc).

How much stimulation do you need?

Mentally, an absurdly huge amount. I'm always ferreting up something. I need it. I feel a compulsion to do it - maybe because it's the best way for me to experience the physical world on preview where I can shield my Fe against possible gouging.

Physically, very very little. In fact, it has to be targeted, or I get irritable, exhausted, freaked out, or hostile.

What is your internal world like?

Technicolor and SurroundSound.

I feel more real internally than I ever have externally. I generally feel besieged externally.

How much alone time do you need and how often do you need it?

Again, a huge amount, especially under stress. I need space and enough time alone every morning to "empty my head out" - otherwise, I'm unlivable. I don't like being invaded. Prying into my head without permission is a recipe for an ENFJ A-bomb. My twin is so much easier in nature. I need her around to temper me.

What comes along with being an extrovert that most people don't realize?

That we aren't always comfortable being pushed into the center of things. That makes me break out in a cold sweat. I hate being stared at. I can walk into a room full of people I already know and still feel like I'm going to faint.

 

[machintruc]

What stimulates you?

Sense of impact, friendly people, pleasurable things, making happiness around oneself, constructive conflicts, truthful ideas, wideness of options and alternatives, being loud, having control over things, etc. etc. etc.

How much stimulation do you need?

Not very much, but I like to be stimulated. It doesn't "drain" me.

What is your internal world like?

A model of the logic and functioning of the external world. Yes. My internal world is useful for that purpose.

How much alone time do you need and how often do you need it?

I can't really handle loneliness. I just accomodate with it. I don't die if I'm alone for too long, but I rather become angry.

If I'm in constant contact with friendly people, I can handle their company even for weeks. If I'm with hostile people, I don't socialise with.

Overrall, I do have tolerance to loneliness, but that's not my thing. I like to be with people.

What comes along with being an extrovert that most people don't realize?

You know, outgoingness, liveliness, communicability, that's pretty cool ! Besides, extroverts are friendly and empathetic. Nothing like the "pushy aggressive redneck" definitions of Wagele or such. I'm an extrovert, and I'm not aggressive or pushy.

 

[alcea rosea]

What stimulates you?

People. Talking with people. Talking all the time with people. Talking a lot. Meeting a lot of different kind of people. People = very interesting.

How much stimulation do you need?

A lot. Really.

What is your internal world like?

It really didn't exsist until few years ago. I have been almost extreme extrovert all of my life. Actuall it did exsist but I didn't look inside myself. I knew myself but I didn't find myself interesting enough. It was like I even didn't exsist by myself, I needed people to feel alive. I was always too busy moving that I forgot to look inside.

How much alone time do you need and how often do you need it?

I don't need too much time by myself. I do need some quiet time because I have small children. During my quiet time people can be around, they do not bother me if they are quiet. I need about 30min of quiet time per day so it's not long.

What comes along with being an extrovert that most people don't realize?

Being too open. Telling everything even if I every time think I shouldn't. (That's why online it is easier. I have more time to think when I write.) Being the energy source for energy leaching people. Being exploited by people who take my friendliness for granted.

And more

I love parties, I love warm people. I love to be in parties where there are lots of people and where I can mingle around and talk to lots of people. I don't stay in one place at parties for long because I love to move around and see people. I'm very much energized by people but there is also a downside with the energy leaching people. They drain my energy and I hate it. I don't have defence against it.

I really appreciate and love my introverted moments. I was not able to be without people at all when I was young. These days I enjoy the company of myself so I don't need people as much. I'm so glad I have learned to introspect at times. It's really a great thing.

 

[substitute]

When any extroverts out there can tear themselves away from the party they're currently attending (), please take a moment to explain how you experience extroversion.

Heheh... we could start by dispelling the "all extraverts have millions of friends and are constantly invited to great parties where they're the life and soul" myth... hehe...

What stimulates you?

Pretty much everything that happens around me. Anything from a person walking into the room, to a painting on a wall. I wouldn't say everything stimulates me an equal amount, by any means. A fun, pleasant conversation with like minded friends over a pint and a pub lunch leaves me feeling invincible. A phone conversation with someone I haven't seen for a while, who carries their side of it well and has plenty to say, can give me the energy to say, wash the dishes.

But just standing/sitting in a room where lots of people are and things are happening makes me feel a strong compulsion to interact. If something prevents me from doing so - if I don't feel incredibly welcome, ill at ease, or perhaps it's a matter of protocol/etiquette, or if I'm just not feeling very confident or able to put my thoughts into words - whatever the reason, if I'm prevented from interacting and just have to sit there observing, it feels like one of the worst scenarios possible for me. I become extremely frustrated and the feeling of pent-up-ness is unbearable. I tend to seek to leave at the earliest possible opportunity and as soon as I'm out of the building I might even literally scream, shout out or run across a parking lot or something, because of the great need to expel the pent-up energy. Woe betide the friend who accosts me in such a mood - they'll be talked to death!!!

How much stimulation do you need?

Quite a lot. Well, it's more a case of variety than quantity. I can't seem to really spend very much time on any one thing before it ceases to stimulate me, and if I have to continue with it after I'm bored with it, it begins to have the opposite effect of making me feel tired and drained. I'd say that on an average day, I'd need to have at least three or four different experiences of interaction with the outside world, to maintain a minimum level of mental energy that it takes to say, be bothered to cook dinner.

As a rule, the longer I'm left still and without stimulation, or in an environment where the stimulation doesn't change sources, the more lethargic and down I get. That's sorta 'most of the time'. But there are days, probably about one in seven, where I need to stay at home and just sit and contemplate, without having to interact with the outside world. If I don't get those, I get very grouchy.

Out of each 24 hours though, say I spend 8 sleeping (no, let's just pretend hahahaha), I'd say I need around 4 to 10 of the remaining hours to contain external interaction. Anything from a trip to the grocery store to a friend or two staying round all evening. But reading a book or watching a good TV show or movie can also count as external stimulation for me. But I still always need a couple of hours to myself before I go to bed.

What is your internal world like?

Pretty rich actually. Though I don't give as much time to it as I do to external stimulation, I do give just as much priority to meditation each day. At least half an hour in silent reflection with my eyes closed, and at least once a week I need to spend a good 3 hours or so at it. In those times an awful lot of stuff goes through my head, gets turned over, analyzed, dwellt on, y'know... pretty much everything I've seen, heard and experienced gets processed and turned into all sorts of strange and wondrous ideas, thoughts and feelings. I'd say a fair proportion of my inner world time is spent trying to locate, identify and understand my emotions... with little success But just as much is spent in purging and disciplining them, where they're analyzed and realized as inappropriate or destructive.

Every now and then, I drive to the beach (in all weathers) to just spend several hours gazing out at the sea and listening to it. I couldn't even say what goes through my head when I do that... everything and nothing.

I have rich, complex, dynamic and deep relationships with quite a few people who died a long time before I was born, which were developed in my inner world, in my 'me times', and which provide a reference point or loom upon which my experiences of the world are woven.

What comes along with being an extrovert that most people don't realize?

Pressure. To always be the one that carries everything along while other people passively look to you for leadership, often contributing nothing but dependency. Exhaustion - the physical toll that's taken by the mental demands for stimulation, and the mental toll that's taken by having to repress your own needs to lead and draw out others.

And ill health - when you feel tired and need to rest, but a person unexpectedly calls and the energy that comes from the stimulation of their presence instantly fools you into thinking you're not tired or ill any more, so you push yourself beyond the boundaries of physical endurance all the time. Kinda like a copier that's been running too long, printed too many copies so it's all overheated inside... if you keep putting paper in it then it'll just keep on copying and copying until it gets so hot it explodes... people need to be sensitive to when extraverts are tired or ill, and take the initiative of leaving us alone so we can rest, because it's highly unlikely that we'll realize we need it when you're around, let alone ask you to leave.

You may return to your regularly scheduled extroverted activities.

I wouldn't say much is regularly scheduled in a typical ENTP's life

I'd also say that I relate to what niffer said as well, except that whilst being completely immersed in the dynamic of the group, I'm also strangely detached from it... which I think is the difference between Ne/Fi and Ne/Ti.

 

[substitute]

Oh and the other unexpected/unrealized thing about being an extravert, that some introverts might not think about, as I mentioned in the stalking thread, it can be a bit of a disadvantage when the way you sort through your thoughts and figure out what you think is by talking them through externally, because you're left vulnerable to anyone overhearing or catching you mid-process and taking what they hear as your final word, your definitive opinion on the matter.

People who do this stuff internally can simply approach someone at the end of the process with their reasonable, calm and well thought out conclusion and nobody's any the wiser and they don't have to worry about anyone finding out that a couple of hours previously they were contemplating capital punishment as a viable method of dealing with the person whose hand they're shaking right now.

As an extravert I often find myself having to explain and defend myself against accusations of what people have wrongly construed that I think about them or about something else, based on having blundered in on me in mid-process and taken my preliminary ramblings and brain dumps as my actual opinions.