[ESTP] ESTP Relationships - What do ESTPs look for in romantic relationships?

[Pillows]

It's a weird situation because it looks like we're dating and even others have asked if we're dating but we aren't. There's definitely a connection there, even if she's not really into dating the same way other girls are. I think I've found out the problem- ESTP's can you tell when someone fancies you? - PersonalityCafe

She probably didn't even realize I was asking her out before. It probably didn't help that her English wasn't good when we first met (she's French). I now realize I just need to be very direct and ask her straight up. I like her now just as much as the day we met a year ago. I've had other girls come and go in my life, but none like her.

Reading your post, I had two different reactions. Yes, being straightforward is really important. If you want something you had better communicate it. However, my visual (albeit exaggerated) of someone asking me “straight up” if I liked them gave me a knee jerk reaction to run to the hills for freedom. I may be alone, but verbally committing to feelings makes me a bit squeamish… less talk more do please. I tend to believe that ESTP conversation style is charming and savvy, keep it light and fun and you’d do well to be more straight up with your actions. Make it clear that you’re pursuing her romantically...Do it. Go in for the kiss.

I think a consistent trait among ESTPs is that we can get along with pretty much anyone…that being said it's possible that she just sees you as a friend. On the other hand, it’s equally possible that she has just been waiting for you to step up your game. Personally, that thread you linked didn’t hold true for me, I am pretty aware of how people feel about me, and more importantly how I feel about them. I have a lot of friendships with guys that could probably evolve, but I keep them platonic to keep life from getting complicated… I’m present-oriented and I notice that although there are numerous possibilities, often the most appealing thing is what is most effective at getting my attention. So if this girl is what you want, make it clear you intend to sweep her off her feet

 

[Clonester]

Thanks first of all. I appreciate the suggestions.

However, my visual (albeit exaggerated) of someone asking me “straight up” if I liked them gave me a knee jerk reaction to run to the hills for freedom.

I wasn't planning on asking her if she liked me. I know she does to some varying degree (see below). It would be to ask her straight up if she wants to go on a date, and make it CLEAR it IS a date.

That being said it's possible that she just sees you as a friend. On the other hand, it’s equally possible that she has just been waiting for you to step up your game.... I have a lot of friendships with guys that could probably evolve, but I keep them platonic to keep life from getting complicated…

I've never gotten "just friends" vibes from her. But it could definitely be a friendship that she doesn't want to evolve for whatever reason, or to keep her life from getting complicated like you said. Either way I want to know for sure. I DO need to step it up, which is why I'm asking her out. So I have the opportunity to step it up. Does all this make sense?

 

[sculpting]

My sister-in-law is an ESTP. I spent christmas day with her and her husband an ESFJ. They seem to complement each other pretty well, but he says he does all the housework and says she is pretty mean due to her very sarcastic sense of humor. However I think he complains in a sort of playful way as they dated for a really long time and seem very happy together.

Biology got em though-they have an ESTJ 7 year old.

 

[Halla74]

My sister-in-law is an ESTP. I spent christmas day with her and her husband an ESFJ. They seem to complement each other pretty well, but he says he does all the housework and says she is pretty mean due to her very sarcastic sense of humor. However I think he complains in a sort of playful way as they dated for a really long time and seem very happy together.

Biology got em though-they have an ESTJ 7 year old.

Mother of God! ESTP + ESFJ + ESTJ under the same roof as a family?!?!!? :horor:



They are going to have ALOT of fun during the teenage years!

Lots of strong personalities under one roof is never boring.

 

[lookingglassworld]

My husband (ESFJ) hates my sarcastic sense of humor! I tell him,this is how I am! And he is the one complaining about me not being real!:steam:

 

[Halla74]

My husband (ESFJ) hates my sarcastic sense of humor! I tell him,this is how I am! And he is the one complaining about me not being real!:steam:

Sounds like it's time to open up a can...



...of WHOOP-ASS!

 

[sLiPpY]

Jes! as Halla says! Show him some wruv!

 

[lookingglassworld]

That would look real cute!! I'm 4"11",he's 6"6"!!! Of course,I'm a little steamroller when I want to be!! lol

 

[Halla74]

Jes! as Halla says! Show him some wruv!

BWWAAHHH!!!! :yim_rolling_on_the_

That would look real cute!! I'm 4"11",he's 6"6"!!! Of course,I'm a little steamroller when I want to be!! lol

There's a reason God created you at the height of 4'11." If you were 5'6" you would need a man that was 7'3", and those are actually not easy to find.

 

[lookingglassworld]

Thank God,he loves me little and feisty!! (Excellent wrestling matches)

 

[Halla74]

Thank God,he loves me little and feisty!! (Excellent wrestling matches)

All's fair in love and war. Give him hell. Take no prisoners!

Do you ever ambush him?

My wife does that to me.

I will be walking into the bedroom, and then out of nowhere, she runs out of the closet and tackles me onto the bed like a little Tasmanian Devil! Sneaky little shit! She's dropped my ass a couple of times!

 

[lookingglassworld]

Well,one time my knee landed right in the ole fun bags(I swear it really was accidental. Honest Abe.) The other,he stumbled off the bed,broke his little piggy!! The first incident,he swore it was intentional!(Slight disagreement) I'm really not that bad!(Did I just hear lightning strike in the distance?)

 

[justadbag]

The answer to the question "What do ESTPs look for in romantic relationships, personality wise?"

Is ridiculously simple (and obvious)

All types subconsciously seek for the mannerisms of their DUAL in ALL relationships. That's a fact.

So I'm pretty sure all ESTPs (secretly/subconsciously) look for the qualities of INFPs in their romantic relationships. (ESPECIALLY their romantic relationships)

Here's a few qualities (of their dual, the INFP):

-Victim-like (needs a "protector")
-soft and emotionally expressive
-able to "take the backseat" role
-supportive (highly appreciates a strong and decisive partner)
-indecisive (to let the ESTP make all decisions)
-sexy/cute, obviously
-etc etc, look up INFP for more info

 

[PJWakt]

Here's a few qualities (of their dual, the INFP):

-Victim-like (needs a "protector")
-soft and emotionally expressive
-able to "take the backseat" role
-supportive (highly appreciates a strong and decisive partner)
-indecisive (to let the ESTP make all decisions)
-sexy/cute, obviously
-etc etc, look up INFP for more info

Yes that's kind of right. I'd also say, open & honest, trusting, enthusiastic, un-jaded, talkative, open to new experiences and willing to throw themselves into it.

 

[Azure Flame]

Fighter, assertive, warm and friendly, outgoing, go with the flow, tagalong, powerful voice, able to help me assimilate into crowds better, needs my help and protection but can also simultaneously protect herself.

 

[jixmixfix]

Alot of this ESTP stuff sounds like myself...scary.

 

[jixmixfix]

Mother of God! ESTP + ESFJ + ESTJ under the same roof as a family?!?!!? :horor:



They are going to have ALOT of fun during the teenage years!

Lots of strong personalities under one roof is never boring.

I would go nuts....

 

[Rebe]

I met an ESTP and I can guess that he wants someone

- very physically attractive
- assertive and can hold her own
- but soft and feminine and gentle
- very open and laid back sense of humor
- someone who can wrestle and tackle him to the ground for fun
- someone who talks a good amount so that he doesn't have to
- very smart

 

[Poindexter Arachnid]

Poontang.

 

[Azure Flame]

As far as duality goes, lets not mix up INFp with INFP. ESTP's dual is Ni Fe which is INFJ.

INFJ's are crude, INFP's are not.