Escape Through Alternate Internal Worlds

[Agent Washington]

Fantasy prone personality - Wikipedia maybe.

 

[Coriolis]

Question I have, is do you think thinking of such things does something for you? Do you find it as an exercise of some sort, giving your mind room to compose this story without need or purpose, or really, a purpose for the sole beauty that is creation, under no pretense for time. Unfortunately though, 8 hours actually wasn't enough time. Now, these stories, are you ever a part of it? Or are you usually crafting this world as its author? I feel both would offer something unique and invigorating for me.

These stories are pure escapism - an indulgence, especially for times when I cannot be more productively engaged. I am always in them. In fact, their main purpose is to allow me to step into an alternate reality for awhile, to take on roles and play around with interactions that will never happen in real life, sort of like a thought experiment. I suppose this makes it a bit like a RPG, but conducted entirely in my head, with no one else involved. There will be other characters, though usually not many. What I find especially interesting is that, while I set the stage and the general outline at the beginning, it quickly takes on a life of its own. Especially the dialogue. It comes automatically - I rarely have to think of what comes next. Sometimes what comes is going to precipitate a significant departure from the storyline I originally envisioned. Then I will either follow where it leads, or backtrack and try again. Sometimes I explore both.

Why do I enjoy listening to The Scientist? Because it parallels my understanding of those deeper, more abstract, sustained emotions and mysteries hidden within, and in some way, listening to that song, in concert with solitude and a freed mind, brings me closer to tapping into those areas.

I can sort of see what you mean, but I bet there are hundreds - perhaps thousands - of songs that would fit the bill. In fact, when you described what you see - the sustained lack of much variation, etc. - it made me think of the less frenetic pieces by Philip Glass, as well as music like the soundtrack to Solaris. I find something similar in these. Is it just that you ran across these Coldplay songs first, so they are what you associate with this?

 

[Dreamer]

These stories are pure escapism - an indulgence, especially for times when I cannot be more productively engaged. I am always in them. In fact, their main purpose is to allow me to step into an alternate reality for awhile, to take on roles and play around with interactions that will never happen in real life, sort of like a thought experiment. I suppose this makes it a bit like a RPG, but conducted entirely in my head, with no one else involved. There will be other characters, though usually not many. What I find especially interesting is that, while I set the stage and the general outline at the beginning, it quickly takes on a life of its own. Especially the dialogue. It comes automatically - I rarely have to think of what comes next. Sometimes what comes is going to precipitate a significant departure from the storyline I originally envisioned. Then I will either follow where it leads, or backtrack and try again. Sometimes I explore both.

This is quite fascinating to me as stories or thoughts don't...ok, nah, I'll get to that in a bit...take on a life of their own or the dialogue doesn't come naturally for me. My fantasies tend to feel more like play time rather than RPG time. Think, child playing with Legos or in a sandbox, and that's what my alternate realities feel like. I'm very much an active part of the fantasy, as its author, but I'm not a character in the scene. It just feels like a more active role for me than what you describe.

I almost stopped myself above, because there are times when a fantasy does in fact, sort of unfold in a more natural progression, than feeling like a kid in a sandbox, but those are almost limited to more creative endeavors, particularly with architecture. When thinking of a design, many times after working out some concepts in some abstract, figurative sketches for a while, a sort of epiphany will come to me, and I will instantly be transported to this space where my building stands tall and proud, and I "see" it for the first time. The interesting thing is, this form doesn't come from literal sketches, but shapes, colors, what have you. I tend to sketch out my thoughts and concepts in really bizarre ways that just don't make sense at all...but they do. Therefore, when a building takes form in my mind's eye, it's kind of surprising, but not really either. I feel that may be because even though I sketch out these abstract forms and have no tangible or spatial quality to them, they actually feel like a literal translation from thought to paper really, but because I know where those concepts came up, it's as if my subconscious has pieced together, or has constructing this form in the background, through this abstract language, and suddenly appears. Furthermore, when this imagery pops into mind, it is often very clear to me in materiality and form, how it would feel to walk around and through it, and how it would engage its participants. (I'm listening to The Scientist now btw, and see! somehow this song allows me to translate thought to word )

Which...is an excellent segway. The Scientist isn't held to some high degree in my mind as an epic song, but does carry some personal weight and significance for me. For one, that was one of the many piano songs I would play for my dad in the living room of my childhood home, right by the window bathing in a soft Fall sunlight. But there are certainly other songs that do much the same for me, for sure!

 

[Dreamer]

Yes, this happens quite often to me; escapism is like my middle name. I have my own alternate realities that play in my mind like a television show. I even have playlists dedicated to these daydreams all in chronological order. I know, I’m weird, ha. I always find time throughout my day to idealize about something, whether it is something in the distant future or a possibility that can happen anytime soon. Sometimes I get so fed up with reality that I need to imprint my ideas somewhere, so I look into some kind of creative outlet to let my ideas flow naturally. For me, that would be coloring my inner world on a canvas. It’s amazing to see a part of your own imagination on something tangible, something you can leave behind and feel proud of before you die. I need a part of that to be shared with the world in order to be content, but I keep a lot of it for myself to enjoy as well because it is like my own hidden sanctuary.

Another thing is that I find my daydreams to be most prominent when I am in my own comfort zone, usually working on something creative, like a painting or a DIY project. It is most stimulated when I blast my music loudly and just zone out for the moment. It’s one of the most exhilarating feelings for me, almost as if I am back to being the purest essence of a child again at one with the universe. I feel so alive during that moment, as if I am in a trance-like state of meditation. A sober intoxication, perhaps, would be a good way for me to describe it.

Clothing can make or break how I feel during the day, but as others have said it has to reflect on my mood or image in mind for the day. If I was dressed differently than how I would prefer to dress, I would feel like I was being an inauthentic version of myself. I like exploring with different, unique clothing and accessories, but not to the point where I would deviate from who I am as a person.

Finally got around to posting a reply to this great post. I can relate so much to what you've written, though, less internal I feel. Let me guess, I have a feeling some of your artistic creations are kept private? For fear of other people seeing it, seeing that part of you, so exposed? I ask because the mental state and process you describe, sounds so much like myself. With me, I put so much of my inner feelings and thoughts into whatever I create, that there are times, when I wish no one to see a painting I've created, or a poem I've written. When creating such works, to me, it is so natural of a flow that it all comes out rather easily and, to me, is VERY apparent of what I'm feeling on the inside and what I'm all about. I almost feel like anyone that comes across a painting of mine, will be able to then look at me and say, "I know exactly who you are", and that actually kind of frightens me. In reality, my paintings probably aren't all that self-revealing, but to me, they are as transparent to my being as can be.

 

[Dreamer]

I relate a little too much. I am often more connected to these alternate realities in my head than reality as it is happening. I have a constant story running alongside stuff as it happens, and I often find it more stimulating than whatever is going on around me. It may even simply be that moment but with more interesting things or people in it. It is often spurred or fed by something in my environment too. Hard to explain that you're late because some object caught your eye and your brain went on a fantasy tangent.... And I definitely do the clothes thing. Outfits seem to embody moods as if I am personifying emotion.

Do you find yourself more within this inner world, even as you are out and about? Or do you sort of go in and out? I find I sort of do both, and so often, that the line between reality and fiction can sometimes blur. Not meaning I'm not sure what reality is even more, but hmm, perhaps it's similar to what you describe, as having this running story occur alongside reality. Ok, I had to back up my thoughts for a second to collect them, but here is what I do, and maybe this is something similar to what you do? So, say I'll see a family beside me in a restaurant, or a family on the streets, I like to observe them, the different members in this family, how the dynamic is playing out between them. Is the son closer to the mother? The daughter with the father? Are the kids best of friends or just siblings? I think the inner "storyline" for me, is looking for these connections between people, through emotions. It's not obviously centered around emotions, like that's not what I specifically look for, but I think deeper down, that is what I am picking up on, how the relationships within that family play out in front of me. Though, I don't often interject in these observations, as they are more just observations in these particular cases.

Well...shoot, this has me thinking this may have just opened some new doors for me now. I think off the bat, I can list three very particular ways I go about living in these alternate realities, and I'm sure there's more! Ranging from me as a participant, to being a complete observer. Me interjecting my perceptions and assumptions onto a scene, and me letting it just naturally play out and wait to see.

 

[The Cat]

 

[Hiraeth]

Finally got around to posting a reply to this great post. I can relate so much to what you've written, though, less internal I feel. Let me guess, I have a feeling some of your artistic creations are kept private? For fear of other people seeing it, seeing that part of you, so exposed? I ask because the mental state and process you describe, sounds so much like myself. With me, I put so much of my inner feelings and thoughts into whatever I create, that there are times, when I wish no one to see a painting I've created, or a poem I've written. When creating such works, to me, it is so natural of a flow that it all comes out rather easily and, to me, is VERY apparent of what I'm feeling on the inside and what I'm all about. I almost feel like anyone that comes across a painting of mine, will be able to then look at me and say, "I know exactly who you are", and that actually kind of frightens me. In reality, my paintings probably aren't all that self-revealing, but to me, they are as transparent to my being as can be.

Yes! I even try to avoid showing my artwork to my own family and agonize over other people seeing it because it makes the situation incredibly awkward for me. People would always ask intricate details about what’s going on, so ‘exposed’ is the right word for such private material that I would rather otherwise keep enclosed, ha. I think it also catches some people by surprise because I don’t normally talk about myself and my inner emotions very much at all. I guess I find it easier to express myself visually than verbally because I can somehow project these feelings more smoothly on canvas than if I were to speak openly about something with such profound emotion. I do have to eventually show people once everything is finished, but for the time being when it is a work in progress, I try to not let other people in on what I’m doing just so I can concentrate freely without any hesitations.

So yeah, I can definitely relate to getting nervous when one's artwork is being viewed by other people. However, one good thing is that I find many people are unable to get my exact intent behind a painting as I usually get plenty of different perspectives in comparison to my own, so sometimes there is a bit of a shield involved to some degree. I'd just tell them it was meant to be whatever they perceive it to be as an escape route.