[Traditional Enneagram] Enneagram 8: Why can't I ask you guys questions?

[Tem]

You know, now that I reflect on it, I don't think I have ever had an 8 professor.

The nastiest professor I've ever had is actually a 1. He tried to cause me trouble yesterday, but it didn't work .

I also dislike 1 professors -- I feel like a lot of what they do is just so unnecessary and redundant.

This quarter I think I've encountered my first type 8 professor. She's either an 7w8 or an 8w7 -- but she is incredible.

Yeah, she is a little rough around the edges and is really blunt, but she gets things done and treats people with respect and really brings the topic to life. I think 8s have a good way of getting others to listen to them and that's a good value to have as a professor.

 

[Animal]

Hey hey now, lol, I was just poking fun at you, no need to get feisty I know you are genuine no need to get offended.

Surprising to hear I come off try hard, but that avatar is the real me And Tem is short for Temur which is my real name Nothing phony here, you are welcome to FB friend me if you'd like.

There are no questionable combinations, as everyone is different

Haha. Some Animals like to get feisty
Sure I will FB friend you. Pm me the link?

I wasn't offended by the way - I'm nearly impossible to offend. I was more amused that someone would find something In that post that was worth calling me out on when the post was so tame. but it's cool we both got a good laugh it seems.

 

[rav3n]

No, what he said is right. 8s may not be exuding this 100% of the time but he is right.

Vehemence won't change how twice, he misconstrued the direct intent of my posts where we've only exchanged two posts.

Clearly he's right that if I say 'fish' and 'bird', he translates that to 'bow wow' and 'ooga booga' because enneagram says that 8s say 'bow wow' and 'ooga booga'.

 

[á´…eparted]

I also dislike 1 professors -- I feel like a lot of what they do is just so unnecessary and redundant.

This quarter I think I've encountered my first type 8 professor. She's either an 7w8 or an 8w7 -- but she is incredible.

Yeah, she is a little rough around the edges and is really blunt, but she gets things done and treats people with respect and really brings the topic to life. I think 8s have a good way of getting others to listen to them and that's a good value to have as a professor.

Well the reason I hate him has nothing to do with his teaching style. He's actually rather effective, and very fair in grading. Totally different from how I would approach it, and him and I disagree on some fundemental levels, but he's also ISTJ so there's a lot of difference there.

The issue is he tried to effect my life, outside of class and outside of school because he "disapproved" of my lifestyle. He feels essentially if you have time for fun you aren't working enough. I'm in grad school so how all this works is a little different. I don't work in his lab, nor is he on my graduate committee, so he has no control over my schooling. I play a game on campus called Humans Vs. Zombies (I'm a mod for it too, head of missions and mission design), and when he discovered me doing this a year and a half ago he did NOT approve. He went to my advisor, and then later other professors and secreteries to try and force me to stop playing the game. I do this on my own time and it doesn't interfere with my labwork. When they all told him he couldn't do that and he was overstepping bounds, apparently he went to his students, asked them if any of them were playing the game, and luckily none of them were, because he said he'd fire them on the spot (i.e. kick them out of his group, potentially school) if they were or ever played.

He was on the panel for my 3rd year seminar (last time he'd ever any sembelence of influence over me) and tried asking "gotcha!" questions; other professors caught on and stepped over him so he couldn't do it.

 

[Tem]

Vehemence won't change how twice, he misconstrued the direct intent of my posts where we've only exchanged two posts.

Clearly he's right that if I say 'fish' and 'bird', he translates that to 'bow wow' and 'ooga booga' because enneagram says that 8s say 'bow wow' and 'ooga booga'.

Oh, my apologies, I don't have the full picture I only read what you quoted of him out of context and, out of context -- what he said does have value.

When it comes to enneagram I think all these little details and descriptions shouldn't be taken so seriously -- it's kind of like we find some ancient manuscript and inspect every nook and cranny on it with a mag glass whilst drawing obscure conclusions on what it must have been like to live in that time.

I think when it comes to enneagram all you need is an understanding of the basics, a willingness to look at yourself, and then an understanding of what aspects of yourself might be driven by those basics.

All these bow wow 8 looks like this 5 turns like that 3 sounds like that I think are just ill-informed and dramatic.

 

[Amargith]

Ive honestly found that being upfront about your intentions and giving them the benefit of the doubt works wonders. Yes, many have that 'what do you want?'-vibe but i have no problem answering that without dancing around them nervously - which seems to make them want to swat you like a fly.

Presumptions tend to make them highly suspicious of you while acting confident and relaxed while being earnest tends to disarm and relax them some ime.

And personally, if they get impatient or annoyed with me, i have no qualms getting just as annoyed and reminding them that i aint them and im just asking while mentioning the reason why i need this info so i can get back to work. Once ive laid that out, my annoyance disappears and i go right back to benefit of the doubt and repeat the above. If it happens again, i ll state clearly this aint working, point out the consequences and walk away. That way, they can decide what they want to do about it since im out of options

In essence, they just want their boundaries respected, i find. If they cross yours - aka are rude or unfair - i find that being just as blunt and pointing that and the consequences out goes a long way as they understand the importance of that. If they dont respond to that, it tends to be a symptom of an unhealthy one who will usually have a temper tantrum i have no probs ignoring while pointing out all he stands to lose and just walk away. Their own drive to succeed and sense of fairness tends to correct the behavior at that point. If it doesnt - their loss and their responsibility

I dunno.. It seems 4s tend to naturally do this dance with 8s - it might not be so second nature for others

 

[FDG]

I dunno.. It seems 4s tend to naturally do this dance with 8s - it might not be so second nature for others

Yep. Most of all, it's a waste of my time and I'm not there to cater to their often stunted emotional apparatus (at work - if they're friends it's usually better).

 

[Amargith]

Yep. Most of all, it's a waste of my time and I'm not there to cater to their often stunted emotional apparatus (at work - if they're friends it's usually better).

Err..honestly, speaking as a 4, a 7's seems equally 'stunted' - just in a different way

Hell, if mastery in the emotional realm was a prerequisite for me to deal with people of another enneagram, I'd bloody well stay home.

..Oh wait.

 

[Tem]

Yep. Most of all, it's a waste of my time and I'm not there to cater to their often stunted emotional apparatus (at work - if they're friends it's usually better).

I feel you on the difficulty in dealing with 8s, 8s can often be big babies. That being said, it's plain disrespectful to not approach someone because you don't want to take the time to deal with them. If this person is part of whatever it is you are doing, I would urge you to reconsider voicing your opinions and ideas to them.

Err..honestly, speaking as a 4, a 7's seems equally 'stunted' - just in a different way

Hell, if mastery in the emotional realm was a prerequisite for me to deal with people of another enneagram, I'd bloody well stay home.

..Oh wait.

Being emotionally stunted is unrelated to the enneagram, this is a more personal manner that can and has applied to anyone and everyone.

 

[Azure Flame]

Every enneagram 8 that I have ever known absolutely hates me to ask them questions. They like to get straight and to the point with things, and they want you to get something as fast as possible. Another thing is that if you don't just get something right off the bat, and need to ask more questions to clarify, then they look at you like you are some kind of idiot or something. Oh, and God forbid you need them to repeat themselves, then they really hate you. Has anyone else experienced this with type 8's.

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]

You might like this thread.

Probably because 8's like being treated like human beings, a concept that is completely foreign to you.

 

[Tem]

Probably because 8's like being treated like human beings, a concept that is completely foreign to you.

How is this even remotely related to the OP?

 

[Tem]

Double Post

 

[Azure Flame]

How is this even remotely related to the OP?

More than you have been made aware.

 

[Azure Flame]

How is this even remotely related to the OP?

Answer me these questions, you should know this:

Why do 8's like having their energy met?

Why do 8's get irritated when people cannot meet their energy?

 

[Tem]

More than you have been made aware.

The guy is making a thread voicing genuine concerns / frustrations; in your shoes I would have approached his content without subjective, personal backstory. He may have done something to you in the past but this is now and you should approach the current situation with objectivity.

Why do 8's like having their energy met?

Why do 8's get irritated when people cannot meet their energy?

In my experience, it's frustrating to have no opposition. I like to know that I'm working with competent, strong people; when someone is quiet I take it as they are too afraid to speak up, even if they agree w me I want to hear feedback, interaction, communication.

It's also about feeling respected, when something is important enough to me that I'm taking the time of day to pay attention toand deal with it, I want others to recognize and respect that .. If I am taking responsibility for taking care of things, y'all ain't gonna be slacking.

What I DON'T like is when a situation is met with energy disproportionate to the situation ala emotionality.

 

[Azure Flame]

The guy is making a thread voicing genuine concerns / frustrations; in your shoes I would have approached his content without subjective, personal backstory. He may have done something to you in the past but this is now and you should approach the current situation with objectivity.


In my experience, it's frustrating to have no opposition. I like to know that I'm working with competent, strong people; when someone is quiet I take it as they are too afraid to speak up, even if they agree w me I want to hear feedback, interaction, communication.

It's also about feeling respected, when something is important enough to me that I'm taking the time of day to pay attention toand deal with it, I want others to recognize and respect that .. If I am taking responsibility for taking care of things, y'all ain't gonna be slacking.

What I DON'T like is when a situation is met with energy disproportionate to the situation ala emotionality.

Are you here to save this poor soul from me? Are you the hero he's been dying for?

 

[Azure Flame]

double post. delete not working [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION]

 

[Tem]

Are you here to save this poor soul from me? Are you the hero he's been dying for?

Must be

 

[Tem]

Are you here to save this poor soul from me? Are you the hero he's been dying for?

Must be

 

[FDG]

I feel you on the difficulty in dealing with 8s, 8s can often be big babies. That being said, it's plain disrespectful to not approach someone because you don't want to take the time to deal with them. If this person is part of whatever it is you are doing, I would urge you to reconsider voicing your opinions and ideas to them.

Of course I voice my opinions and ideas. That's actually part of the problem, usually - I voice them "too much" and piss them off. I'm a ENTJ 7w8 myself, not exactly the most tactful person in the world.