INTPness
New member
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2009
- Messages
- 2,157
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
What's the best way to show an ENFJ that you are mildly interested, but also still be able to back them off if necessary (without hurting their feelings or pushing them away for good)?
I am interested in talking to her (we dated briefly some years ago) and more or less deepening the friendship (if something more develops, great - if not, no harm done), but she can sometimes get a little pushy or overbearing as if trying to push the relationship back to the place where it once was. I'm not at that place anymore and while I enjoy talking to her, I want to be able to push back when I need to without hurting her.
I've said things to other NF's in similiar situations that have hurt them - things that seemed like they needed to be said, but that the NF thought was abrasive or rude.
The ENFJ texted something to the effect of "I think I'm getting closer to being in a relationship with the person I want to be with". I wanted to say, "Well, next time we talk, you'll have to tell me about him because I know it's not me", but I refrained because I thought it might be too Ti-ish for her.
It's not that I don't want to talk, but don't push and force things. Advice?
I am interested in talking to her (we dated briefly some years ago) and more or less deepening the friendship (if something more develops, great - if not, no harm done), but she can sometimes get a little pushy or overbearing as if trying to push the relationship back to the place where it once was. I'm not at that place anymore and while I enjoy talking to her, I want to be able to push back when I need to without hurting her.
I've said things to other NF's in similiar situations that have hurt them - things that seemed like they needed to be said, but that the NF thought was abrasive or rude.
The ENFJ texted something to the effect of "I think I'm getting closer to being in a relationship with the person I want to be with". I wanted to say, "Well, next time we talk, you'll have to tell me about him because I know it's not me", but I refrained because I thought it might be too Ti-ish for her.
It's not that I don't want to talk, but don't push and force things. Advice?